Chapter 29
The following day, Iylene strapped themselves into the co-pilot seat. That morning, I received orders to fly the shuttle, nothing more, and thus a new dent appeared on the bedroom wall from my kick. If Roys had a problem with property damage, he could fix it his fucking self.
“Roys won’t be joining us?” I asked.
“He will not,” Iylene replied.
“Did he say why?”
“Is that a problem?” They didn’t sound offended, only curious.
My hands gripped the wheel. I wanted to break it and the windows and the cockpit and then Roys’ stupid face. But I smiled, started my checks and said, “Not at all.”
“Humans are strange beings. You are clearly upset that I am here.”
“No, I am upset that he isn’t here.”
That had them flicking their long tongue. “But you dislike him, so is it not a good thing that it is me here instead of him?”
The shuttle raised. We began our journey to investigate the area around the mountain.
Our task was to find a safe path, which should take a couple of days.
I expected to spend those days with Roys where I would be, as always, a complete jackass.
We’d argue. I’d make his eyes twitch at least a dozen times.
He’d admit to lying about finding me competent in any form, and we’d have hot, angry sex in the cockpit, then forget anything else happened.
“It’s complicated,” I grumbled.
“As I said, humans are strange.”
They were right. We were because why did I care that he didn’t show up? He told me to fly the fucking shuttle, so I was, and I didn’t need him for that, not when he didn’t trust my plan after lavishing me with flattery.
Liar.
He probably wanted head on the flight. Which I would have done had he asked rather than spew filth right to my face.
Iylene and I worked fine together. Better actually, because there was no chit-chat. We did our work circling the mountain, taking scans, and returning in time for dinner. Roys sat with the survey team. I gave him the middle finger. He frowned.
“What’d you fight about with the captain now?” Arana retrieved a tray for Iylene and me.
“Nothing. He’s a shithead, and I felt like reminding him.” I shoved food in my mouth, trying not to glare and failing abysmally.
I was tempted to throw food at him. No one would think anything of it. I had been annoyed with him before, but I was hungry and he wasn’t worth the waste. When he finished eating, he left. My commlink buzzed moments later.
Roys: Come to my office?
Lucky: Use your hand, fuckface.
Roys: I want to talk.
I ignored him because I didn’t want to talk.
There was nothing to talk about. He didn’t believe in me, even after all that shit he spewed, even after saying time and time again that I could do better, that he seemed to have faith in me.
The one time I did better, he didn’t trust me and got snippy afterward because…
Because he never meant a word. You are as worthless as everyone believes you are, and you know you are.
Actually, I would reply. Simple and to the point.
Lucky: Die.
For the next three days, we didn’t talk. Roys didn’t message. I woke up to check my commlink, did so when Iylene wasn’t looking, and found myself doing so between tossing and turning at night. The fucker was interrupting my sleep and not in the fun way.
“Asshole,” I would grumble before taking off the commlink to shove under my pillow. But I’d still peek from time to time and curse myself for doing so.
While Iylene and I charted a path, the survey team remained at the habitat.
The flora sat as a vast field surrounding a lake that we wouldn’t risk going toward.
However, Iylene noticed the bugs that bombarded us during our first week.
They flew over the flora without hindrance.
As they did, their legs spread open like budding flowers.
Camouflage. The survey team would have a field day with the scan we got.
We landed the shuttle not far into the afternoon, having finished up seeing what we could.
Iylene sent the survey team everything we learned through the commlink.
We worked out a route believed to be a safe path to the mountain.
Much to the survey team’s chagrin, Roys gave a strict order that our team would go first to make sure that route was safe before taking them the following day.
Once we shut down the shuttle, the engineer approached, cursing more than me.
Ever since the flora attack, she had been checking every day as if we were at fault for the damage.
I only did what had to be done, but she gave me the stink eye every time.
Literally because she was a Noveanea, which naturally released a peculiar odor that, apparently, communicated with their species.
They didn’t have mouths, so they communicated to the rest of us through sign language.
Her favorite sign was telling us to go fuck ourselves.
I got out of her way, heading with Iylene toward the habitat. We returned early. I planned to take a little nap when…
“Ethin.” Roys stood in the yard, breathing heavily from finishing up his daily workout.
My traitorous eyes enjoyed the view. His pants hung low on his brawny waist, where sweat followed every line of muscle.
A pair of armguards traveled from his wrists to halfway up his biceps.
All I could think about was running my tongue over his exposed skin because my dick didn’t care if we were angry with him or not. He had no right to be so tempting.
He gnawed his bottom lip. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”
I hesitated, feeling a response building in my throat but I clamped my mouth shut and kept walking. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I made Iylene snort. They got through the doors before me. Roys grabbed my wrist. “Please give me a chance.”
“My answer remains the same.”
Roys used his body to shield the entryway. He dropped his hands to my hips, which I hadn’t expected because that’s too personal, too close, and right in the open. The engineer could see us, or anyone could walk out and wonder why the captain was being so handsy with his most annoying officer.
But I didn’t want him to let go. Three days, and my body felt like it hadn’t known him in years.
“Five minutes,” he said, those blue eyes trying to keep me trapped in his orbit.
I shoved his hands off and stepped back, even if every nerve in me screamed, because being near him made my brain fuzzy. “There isn’t anything you need to say to me. I’ve been piloting the shuttle, as ordered, Captain.”
Running a hand through his hair, he muttered, “Four days isn’t enough for you to cool off.”
“What do I need to cool off from? We are perfectly fine.”
“You told me to die.”
“And yet, here you stand.”
Roys opened his mouth. Maddy stepped outside at the perfect moment. Our eyes met. She saw a plan she couldn’t escape. I tugged her to my side without thinking of the potentially deadly consequences.
“My sister and I have important matters to discuss, so go away,” I said.
“What?” She yanked in a futile escape attempt.
“She has a bad memory—”
“Bullshit.”
“So, I have to remind her what we need to talk about. Come along, Maddy.” I walked into the habitat, dragging her while she complained about a smoke break.
Roys could bother me in the communal area, so I went toward the survey team’s living quarters.
He could pester me there, too, but it felt like a potentially better option.
We made it through the doors into their lounge.
Theirs was smaller, simpler, with a few chairs and books scattered on the tables.
Someone had music playing from the lab, heavy metal that made my ears hum.
Maddy ripped free. The bridge of her nose wrinkled. “What was that about? You’re interrupting my break.”
“I wanted to get away from the captain.” I observed the doors for the man in question. He never showed up. My heart couldn’t decide whether to rise or fall.
She crossed her arms. “Yeah, well, I’m not some excuse for you. Work your shit out on your own.”
“You just happened to be the one who came out at the time I needed it. I would have used anyone else to escape.”
“Noted.” She went toward the exit.
Disappointment settled heavy on my tongue.
When I first saw her, the only option felt like avoidance.
But as the days went by and she was there, real and alive, I wanted to reach out, to ask about her day and all the years we missed.
Couldn’t we try to be siblings again? We didn’t have anyone else — no one who knew our darkest days.
Maddy stopped at the threshold. “You can join me on the smoke break.”
I felt a smile coming on that I bit back. I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Couldn’t.
At the exit, she made sure Roys wasn’t looking our way and signaled for me to follow. When I stepped out, I glanced over to find him standing by the weights. He had the holo screen up on his commlink, checking on the storage room, and then clicked it off. Fucker was looking around for me.
My heart stuttered. I slammed a hand against my chest.
Maddy walked behind the habitat and lit up. She offered me a cigarette.
“Why are you avoiding the captain?” she asked.
“I thought you said to work my shit out.”
She flicked ashes at me. I wiped them off but didn’t dare return the favor.
“He got snippy with me the day we got caught in the shuttle,” I replied, growing hot from the memory, the way he looked at me, all the lies he spewed moments before that I dared to believe for a second. “I don’t know. He was acting weird. I think he didn’t trust my plan.”
“Anyone would understandably be pissed to be saved by you because that would mean they’re stupid,” she said.
“You’re so kind to me.” I kept my eyes away from her lest she discover how happy I was. I’d take her insults over silence. “Anyway, now he wants to apologize, but I don’t care; he can go fuck himself.”
“Seems like you care to me.”
I took a long drag. “In what way?”