Chapter 15
Liam
“Okay, this is ridiculous, and I’ve had enough,” I said, marching into Theo’s room.
We’d gone to Theo’s house instead of driving back to Wayward once Volatile had closed for the night. I needed a break from the noise, people, and drama. The dorms were a cesspool for all three.
Theo was changing, his body still wet from the shower. My steps faltered as I ogled his hard ass and naked back. That was one way to derail my thoughts. I closed the door and turned the lock.
“I’m not sleeping in another room.”
Theo shot me a glare but didn’t argue.
“I’m sorry I blurted it out that way. I had been thinking about it, and the words came out before I really knew what I wanted to say and why. Very unlike me, but it was a bad day for me all around in the sensitivity department. Let’s just say I was off my game.”
“I think you were pretty clear. You don’t want to move to Boston,” he said, and my jaw twitched.
He crossed his arms and stared me down, but I wasn’t having any of his attitude tonight. Call me a fucking prick, but he was being…illogical, and for Theo that was a massive insult.
“What do you think is going on here,” I asked, crossing the room and getting into his personal space.
“I don’t know, you tell me. We had a plan. We found a great apartment near campus and had basically figured out what our life would look like for the next six years. Then tonight you tell me that you don’t think you’re going to move, and I’m not supposed to be shocked or angry?”
“I already apologized. My mind was on a million things, and uncharacteristically, I just blurted it out. Theo, I love you. I’m not going anywhere. So stop acting like I broke up with you.”
His gaze softened before he turned and walked away to lean against his dresser.
“Okay…explain it to me then,” he said, still sounding sad.
“When we made those plans, things were different. I didn’t know what I wanted to do after we graduated. Ren wasn’t in our lives, and I had no clue what would happen with Nash, the Kings, or anything else. So much was up in the air with Lawrence alive, but now…things have shifted.”
Walking over to the desk, I sat on the edge directly across from Theo and watched him chew on what I’d said. Deep down, he already knew all of this, which was why it was so baffling that he was angry.
“I want to adjust our plans. I can visit every other week for three to four days. But…we are building a life tied to other things and other people. Theo, you brought me into this relationship with Ren. Begged me for it. You had to know that there would be changes the moment you added such a major piece.”
“You’re right. I knew that.”
He rubbed his eyes and groaned before pushing away from the dresser to pace the room.
“There is also the fact that Nash depends on me. I’m his right hand.
That will only increase after he takes over Collier Enterprises and potentially a branch of the Genovese empire.
We will have just as many enemies, if not more.
I don’t want to leave Ren for eight months out of the year, and I want to build on what we have already started with our own investments.
Following you to Boston was a great idea even a year ago, but it just doesn’t fit anymore.
Not full-time, but it has nothing to do with how much I love you. ”
“Fuck.”
Theo growled and stomped across the floor.
I honestly didn’t understand why he was so worked up, and especially over something that he had to have seen coming. Theo was one of the most intelligent people I knew, and he planned everything down to the tiniest detail. His reaction was entirely out of character.
Something else was going on. The more I watched Theo, the more certain I became that his anger had nothing to do with me, at least, not all of it.
Pushing away from the desk, I stepped into Theo’s path.
“Fuck you’re hot when you’re worked up,” I said, not giving him a chance to respond, before I grabbed his neck, marched him backward to the wall, and crashed my lips to his.
The kiss was almost painful as I devoured him like he was my last meal. After a few minutes, I pulled back, placed both hands on either side of his head, and stared into green eyes that I’d loved for so long.
“What is really going on? And don’t bother trying to lie to me. I can see that something is eating at you, and it’s not me,” I said.
“It is you,” Theo said. I lifted a brow at him, and he sighed. “Fine…I’ll concede and admit that it is not all you.”
“Then talk to me.”
Theo glanced away like he would rather bolt, so I grabbed his hands and held them above his head as I nuzzled the side of his neck. He smelled incredible, all masculine with a hint of musk and soap.
“Tell me,” I ordered, my voice dropping low, and making him shiver.
“I’ve always known what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. The image was clear, concise, and…”
He sighed and looked at me with such defeat in his eyes that it hurt my heart.
“And now it’s not,” I said.
“No, it’s not,” he agreed.
“And the fact that I can change my plans angers you?”
Theo shook his head.
“I’m not angry…okay, I’m a little angry, but not at you, at myself.”
I released his hands, and he took the opportunity to walk around me and resume his pacing. I let him. He needed to get this out in his own way.
“I’m barely holding myself together,” he said, turning to face me, hands on his hips.
“I don’t want to go. There, I said it. I want Harvard, but I don’t want to leave everyone. I was considering it before…and then Lawrence happened.”
He held his hand out toward the closed door.
“How do I leave my father? He’s…not okay.
He can hardly get up and out of bed in the morning.
I’m running the day-to-day at the office and hiding how bad things are.
Blake has one foot on firm ground and the other ready to fall off a cliff.
Ren is still healing, and even though I know she will be fine with me heading across the country…
I don’t want to leave her either. I was already so close to backing out, but knowing I had you there… ”
Theo stopped, and the look in his eyes nearly crushed me.
“You’re my rock, the one I lean on when the noise gets too loud. And now, you’re not going to be there.”
He ran a hand through his hair, and for the first time since Ella’s death, I saw his mask fall. The pain he carried underneath broke my heart.
Walking over, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a hug. I didn’t say anything, I just waited for him to break.
And he did.
Theo’s body shook as he cried, the pain palpable as he finally let himself feel.
I’d given him space to deal with his mother’s death.
Focusing on the things he could control, like running the office and taking care of his father and Blake, had been what he needed at the time. But I had known it couldn’t last.
Theo clung to me, his fists gripping my shirt as he released everything he had bottled up inside of him.
“You’ve been so strong for everyone,” I said, holding him tight and keeping him from crumbling to the floor. “You can’t carry everything, Theo. You can’t take on everyone’s suffering.”
He squeezed me, and his body jerked as the sobs overtook him.
When the tears subsided, and Theo was close to collapse, I took his hand in and walked him over to the bed.
We sat down side-by-side, and I traced his profile, hating that he looked so beaten down.
Bringing his knuckles to my lips, I kissed each one repeatedly until he looked at me.
His beautiful green eyes were filled with worry.
“What am I going to do,” Theo asked softly.
“You won’t want to hear this, but I think you should find a new way forward.”
“So, you don’t think I should go either?”
I shook my head.
“I’m not saying this because I don’t want you to go. I don’t, but that’s not why. You’re right, there are many new factors and a lot of stress. Leaving for a few weeks is one thing, leaving for so long…that’s another.”
“So, what are you suggesting?”
“Look, Theo…going to Harvard has always been your dream, and if it’s still what you want, then I’ll support you, always.
But you have other options. You can take a gap year.
Talk to the dean of admissions and explain your situation.
I’m sure he will let you push your start date.
Or ask if you can do the first year remote, or… ”
I sucked in a deep breath before I broached this idea.
“Maybe look at a different school, one closer to home. There are many possibilities, that’s all I’m saying.”
Theo squeezed my hand.
“What would I do without you? I’ve never been so caught up in my head before, and I just couldn’t find my way out.”
Gripping the back of his neck, I made him look at me.
“I’ll always be here, and I don’t know if I’d be any better if roles were reversed. If something ever happened to you…I…I’d cease to function. Grieve, give yourself the space and time to do it. Stop taking on your dad’s guilt and Blake’s fear. You can’t lift it all.”
“I don’t know how to set it down,” he said.
Leaning in, I gently kissed his lips, tasting the saltiness of his tears.
“I’ll keep an eye on Blake. He won’t know that’s what I’m doing, but I’ll make sure he keeps his head on straight.”
Theo nodded, and the fact that he was so easily allowing me to take over told me just how under pressure he truly felt.
“Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me,” I said and kissed him again. “We are partners, now and forever. I warned you that you were never getting rid of me. Those weren’t just words. You, Ren, the guys…you’re my life, our future, and I fucking love you with my whole soul.”
“I love you more,” he said, and then deepened the kiss.
Normally, I took the lead, but for tonight and for however many nights he needed, I’d let him be in control. Anything to help him heal.
He pulled me down on top of him, and the kiss became frantic. I stood up to take off my jeans, but his phone rang. We both looked at it before Theo answered.
“Dad? Is everything okay? It’s fine, stay where you are. Liam and I are in my room, we’ll be there in a minute,” he said as he pulled on a hoodie and ran for the door.