Chapter 16
Theo
My heart was in my throat as we raced down the hall to the spare bedroom. I burst through the door to find my dad lying on the ground and holding his side.
“Don’t try to get up. I’m calling an ambulance.”
“No, I don’t want an ambulance. I just need help getting back into bed,” Dad grumbled. “So much for being able to pee on my own.”
“What happened? And where is James?”
Dad pointed across the room to the bench at the end of the bed.
“Stupid spare bedroom. I’m not used to having something at the end of the bed and ran into that thing,” he said, wincing. “I didn’t need someone hovering over me all night, so I sent him home.”
“Is anything broken?”
He shook his head. “Only my ego,” he said.
My nostrils flared as I sucked in a breath, but I kept my anger under control. This was why I had hired James. So that Dad had someone to help him get up if he needed to, or if he just wanted to stay in bed for the day.
“Why are you all the way over here near the bathroom?”
“I…I still needed to pee,” Dad said so quietly I barely heard him. “I didn’t make it,” he whispered.
I moved his housecoat aside and saw the wet spot.
“It’s going to be okay, Dad,” I said, as I put his arm around my neck. “Liam?”
Liam walked around to the other side of my father and bent down, assuming the same position.
“I’m so sorry,” Dad said, his voice defeated.
“Don’t be. But we are going to talk about James being here. I won’t go back to school if you are just going to send him away,” I said, and Dad looked at me.
“No, Theo…please don’t do that.”
“We’ll talk about it after we get you cleaned up. Okay?”
He nodded.
Liam was right. There was no way I could leave. My parents had always been there for me, for anything and everything, and as much as I wanted Harvard…it wasn’t as important as my family.
“You ready?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Dad gasped when Liam and I stood up.
“Theo.”
I glanced at Liam, and he held out his hand. His fingers were bright red with blood. Shit.
We took it slowly and got Dad into the bathroom and sitting on the edge of the tub. As soon as he shrugged out of the thick, maroon robe, it was easy to see that the bandage covering the incision site was soaked.
“Dad, you’re bleeding.”
He looked down and shrugged.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Yes, you will, because Liam is calling an ambulance to take you to the hospital.”
Liam left and closed the door.
“I don’t want to go to the hospital,” Dad said as tears filled his eyes.
“I know you don’t. But Blake and I can’t lose you, too.”
He lifted his head, and our eyes met.
“We need you. Lip needs you.”
God, I hated to see my dad like this. He’d always been so strong and confident.
“Okay,” he finally said. “Okay, I’ll go.”
“Good, now let’s get you cleaned up and into something comfortable.”
I turned on the water and went to grab a washcloth, but he caught my wrist and stopped me.
The agony in his stare hurt worse than any punch I’d ever received.
“No son should see their father like this, but…thank you. I…I love you.”
His hand fell away from my arm, and he stared into the water at his feet like he wanted it to swallow him.
I’d accepted that life wasn’t fair, but this…this was unjust in the cruelest fashion because there was nothing that I could do to make any of this better.
Mom was gone, she was never coming back, and even if my dad healed physically, I wasn’t sure he’d ever recover emotionally. Mom was the glue that held us together, and I didn’t know how to step into that role.
“We’re going to get through this,” I said, praying that I wasn’t feeding both my dad and Blake a lie, because I’d never been more unsure in my whole life.
5:30 AM
Blake
My knee bounced out of control as Myles sped down the backroads to get to the hospital. The snow was still coming down, but it was more of a flurry than a blizzard.
“I knew it was too soon for us to leave him. I never should’ve moved back into the dorms,” I said, shaking my head. “Now here he is, back in surgery to repair internal stitches.”
“Ethan wouldn’t hear of it. It was stressin’ him out that you and Theo didn’t want to leave, remember?”
“Yeah, I know, but…where the hell was the guy who was supposed to be his caregiver?”
I looked out the window, trying to calm the panic that had taken over the moment my phone rang and woke me up. When I’d seen Liam’s name, I knew something was wrong. My stomach had bottomed out, and my heart had been racing ever since.
“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Myles said, grabbing my shoulder.
“How are you so calm?”
He made a noise and smirked.
“I’m not always calm. Remember when Ren was in the accident? I thought I was gonna lose my ever-lovin’ mind. But she’s okay, and Ethan will be too.”
“I wish I could be so sure,” I mumbled, as we slowed to turn into the hospital parking lot.
At this time of night, there were only a few cars in the visitors’ area. Myles pulled into a spot and parked, but before we got out, he grabbed my hand.
“Take a deep breath before we go in.”
I tried, I really did, but it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.
“I’m good.”
We hopped out and jogged for the sliding doors.
“This way,” Myles said, pointing down a hallway.
I’d been so upset when I got Liam’s call that I’d handed the phone to Myles and started to get dressed. I had no idea where we were as I followed him down the corridor.
The beige walls began to close in on me when I realized we were in the same wing where we had waited for news on Ren, and then, later, my dad. Tapping my leg and counting to four wasn’t helping to calm my mind tonight.
As we closed in on the waiting area, it felt as if I was trying to walk through mud. My feet slowed, and my lungs burned. Was I having a fucking heart attack? I rubbed my chest and gasped, trying to get a breath.
“Blake?”
Myles grabbed me by the arm and pulled me through a door into a dark room. The light flickered and turned on as I bent over with my hands on my knees, trying desperately to breathe.
“What’s…happening,” I asked. “My…heart.”
Myles was right there, kneeling in front of me.
“Yer havin’ a panic attack. Look at me,” he said calmly. “Yer safe, and this will pass. It’s just your body reacting to stress. You’re not losing control, and what you feel is real, but it’s not a heart attack.”
His words made sense, but I didn’t know how to stop it. He placed his hands on top of mine, and the contact helped a little.
“I want ya to follow my breathing. Breathe in through your nose, one, two, three, four.” He slowly sucked in air as he spoke. “And hold, two, three, four. Out two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Aye, that’s good, and again.”
I couldn’t say how many counts it took before the tightness started to ease, but it did, and I closed my eyes in relief. Myles helped me stand up straight and then pulled me into a hug. I clung to him like a life preserver.
He didn’t fidget or pull away like you saw guys do in movies. He stayed still, waiting for me to say that I was okay. I had no idea what came over me, but I tilted my head and the next thing I knew, I was kissing him.
His lips were soft, much softer than I would’ve guessed. Myles didn’t freak out or push me away, and he didn’t run out the door. He also didn’t return the kiss. He stood frozen, eyes wide and shock written all over his face.
I stepped back and stared at him, embarrassment rolling through me. I ran my hand through my hair, trying somehow to fix what I had just done.
“I’m sorry…I…I don’t know what just happened,” I said, the words tumbling out. “What the hell was I thinking? Please don’t hate me, I—”
“Pfft, hate ya? Are you tryna to take the piss? I could never hate you. I love ya, and I’ll admit that watching ya fuck Snowflake gets me going, but I’m not sure I’m interested in more than that.”
“Yeah, of course, neither am I. I just…I don’t know why I did that.”
It was true, I’d never thought of Myles sexually before, so I was just as confused as he was.
He stepped forward, and I tried to back away, but I had nowhere to go. Myles grabbed me by the arms, not letting me escape from this humiliating moment.
“Stop. This is an emotional time, I get it. When emotions are runnin’ high, we do shite we normally wouldn’t. But yer like me brother. I fuckin’ love ya, and I’m not going anywhere. Besides, I know I have irresistible lips. It’s how I won over Snowflake.”
He smiled, and I chuckled at his ridiculousness.
“So, you’re not mad at me?”
“Don’t be stupid,” he grumbled. “Never. But…and I’m just throwing this out there…if ya really are havin’ feelings, then maybe yer twin is the better one to talk to. I’m not gonna be any help, other than being here for ya as yer best friend. Mind you, if Liam made it an order, I…”
He waved his hand like he was trying to wipe away the thought.
“Never mind.”
“No, it’s not like that, I’ve never…you know. You’ve just always been there. I feel the same level of comfort with you as I do with Ren. Wow…I can’t believe I kissed you.”
He smiled wide and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
“Dude, you need to tell me…was it good?”
Laughing, I shook my head at him.
“Fuck off.”
“Naw, I’m serious. I need to know if I still have the magic touch,” Myles said, making me roll my eyes.
“Dear God, what have I done? You’ve got something, I’m not sure it’s magic though.”
“Arse.”
Rubbing my face, I tried to compose what was left of my sanity before walking out the door.
“Are ya ready to head out,” Myles asked.
“You promise we’re good?”
My eyes bugged out as Myles grabbed my face and kissed me hard. He let go and smirked.
“There, now we’re even. Come on, yer brother is gonna wonder where we are.”
Still trying to figure out how we got here, I followed him from the room. I had no idea what I did to deserve a best friend like Myles, but there was none better out there, I’d bet my life on it.