Chapter Twenty-Nine Alexandra #2
“I trust you, too. More than any other woman I’ve ever been with.” He knelt down before me to grab my robe off the floor. Using the silky material, he began to clean the evidence of our union off my thighs. When he finished, he rose back up to stare at me.
The intensity in his eyes made me shiver. “One day I’d like you to go off the pill.”
“Is that right?”
He nodded. “I want to make a baby with you.”
I couldn’t help the wave of shock that ran through my body at his statement. It was the last thing in the world ‘dI imagined he would want, least of all say out loud. “Y-You do?” I finally stammered.
He nodded, his thumb tracing over my bottom lip. At what must have been the uncertainty in my eyes, he said, “You’re not your past, Alexandra. You’re already the best mother anyone could ever be to Willow. You’re everything I could want when it comes to being the mother of my child.”
I hiccuped a cry. “You’re the only man I want to father my children. As much as I love Willow, I want a piece of you and me together.”
He smiled. “You’ll have it. And when he gets here, I hope he takes after you instead of his old man.”
“Him? What if it’s a girl?”
His enthusiasm dampened a little. “I’m not sure I can take another girl. Willow is like fifteen girls rolled into one.”
“Wait until she’s a teenager.”
Deacon threw his head back and groaned. “I can’t even fucking think about that now.”
A teasing smile curved my lips. “For the way you’ve been with women, it would serve you right if you had a houseful of daughters.”
“You’re killing me, babe.”
Standing on my tiptoes, I brought my mouth to his. Deacon responded by wrapping his arms around my waist. Just as his tongue began to dance tantalizingly along mine, I broke away from him. “Having a baby together is a big commitment. Are you sure you know what you’re saying?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “I sure as hell do. I’m not some asshole who wants a bunch of baby mamas. I want one woman to raise my children.”
“Inside of marriage?”
He swallowed hard, sending his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. If the conversation hadn’t been so serious, I might have laughed at his horrified expression. Finally, he drew in a ragged breath. “Yeah, I could see it within marriage.”
“You want to marry me someday?” I asked. Although there was a teasing lilt in my voice, my heartbeat fluttered wildly as I waited for his response.
Deacon cocked his brows at me while amusement danced in his eyes. “Are you fishing for a proposal, White Bred?”
I shrugged. “You did just say you couldn’t live without me.”
“That’s true.” With a teasing look, he said, “So we don’t need a ceremony or a piece of paper to unite ourselves until death.”
“Maybe with another woman but not with me,” I huffed.
“Is that right?”
Nodding, I replied, “I want the ring, the ceremony–the whole fucking happily ever after.”
Deacon chuckled. “Then you have my word as an outlaw that you’ll have it.” Just as I started to protest, he dipped his head to bestow a gentle kiss on my lips. “I’ve never wanted to get married before you. Guess it makes sense you would be the one I would marry.”
“You’re so romantic,” I replied, with a grin that hid my exhalation.
“I am what I am, babe. You aren’t getting anything else.”
“I’ll take you—just as you are.” After a few breathless moments of kissing, I once again pulled back. “Shouldn’t you go to your mother and brothers?”
“They know.”
I gasped. “How?”
“I left them a cryptic message on a burner phone.”
My eyes bulged. “Then you don’t even know how they’re holding up.”
“They know I’m alive and to keep it a secret a little longer.”
“We should go to the compound.”
“While I should, I want nothing more than to be alone with you.” He kissed me again. “Another twelve hours isn’t going to matter much for Rev and Bishop to get to kick my ass.”
With a giggle, I replied, “You deserve it.”
“After everything, you do understand why I did what I did, don’t you?”
“As much as I hate to admit it, yes, I do. I just wish there had been a way you could have let us know you were all right.”
Deacon shook his head. “Appearances are everything. If my family and brothers hadn’t truly been grieving, then the plan wouldn’t have worked.”
“Well, Sigel bought the lie that you were dead. That’s for sure.” The moment the words left my lips, regret flooded me. Deep down, I felt like I shouldn’t have mentioned Sigel’s visit to me at the school. Like I had just unknowingly taken a pin off of a grenade.
Tightening his arms around me, Deacon asked, “What do you mean? Did you see him?”
Knowing full well that Rev and Bishop would tell him about the encounter, I replied, “He paid me a visit yesterday.”
“Tell me everything,” Deacon demanded.
One of my favorite poems has always been Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken”.
As I stood there in Deacon’s arms, I faced my own crossroads.
One way would be the easy route where I told Deacon about Sigel wanting the cut.
That way would lead to a showdown that would end with one or both of them dead.
I had just gotten Deacon back. I didn’t intend to lose him again.
The second path entailed the plan I had masterminded on the back of Archer’s bike.
It entailed me not only lying to the man I loved, but it meant putting myself into extreme danger to ensure the safety of the ones I held dear.
In the end, it wasn’t as hard a choice as I had thought it would be.
It was the reason why I’d stolen the cut tonight.
Only I would face Sigel when it came to handing over the cut.
“Alex, what are you hiding from me?” Deacon inquired.
In that instant, I realized there was a way to be both honest with Deacon at this moment and still enact my plan. “He wants his son’s cut from the War Closet.”
Deacon’s brows furrowed. “He came to your school to ask you for it?”
“I think he knew he wouldn’t have a shot to talk to me anywhere else that wouldn’t be overrun with Raiders. Maybe it was a ploy to make the Raiders back off of me. I don’t know.”
“I don’t know either, but whatever it is, I sure as hell don’t like it. I’m thankful that you didn’t bring Willow home yet.”
I gasped. “Wait how did you know Willow was still there and not with us?”
He gave me a shadowy smile. “I have my ways of checking on her.”
“Some sort of GPS like in my bracelet?”
“Yeah.” After Deacon swiped a hand over his face, he asked, “What about the cut?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is it still at the clubhouse?” When I hesitated, Deacon grabbed me by the hands. “Dammit, Alex, you have to be honest with me right now.”
“Fine. I have it.”
His eyes bulged in horror. “You stole the cut to give to Sigel?”
I jerked my hands away from his. “What did you expect me to do? I thought you were dead, and I had to protect myself and Willow.”
“Fucking hell,” Deacon muttered as he jerked a hand through his dark head.
“He’s supposed to call me to meet up for the trade,” I whispered.
“The trade? Do you honestly think he’s just going to take the cut and let you live happily ever after?”
“Of course not. I’m not an idiot!” I screamed.
Deacon neck snapped back like I’d slapped him. “Then just what exactly were you planning on doing?”
A ragged breath shuddered through me. “Kill him.”
With an expression of utter and complete disbelief, Deacon said, “Are you fucking with me?”
“No.”
“You were going to try to kill Sigel?”
“Yes, I was.”
“Christ, Alexandra, have you lost your mind?”
“Fuck. You,” I muttered.
“You must be under some PTSD delusions of grandeur.”
“For your information, Archer thought my plan was good. In his words, he would never see me coming.”
Deacon threw up in his hands. “He’s a fucking prospect. What does he know?”
“I had Rev and Bishop teach me how to use a knife.”
A mirthless laugh rumbled through Deacon’s chest. “And you think one lesson is enough to take down a notorious gang leader whose survived prison?”
“Revenge and rage can make up for a hell of a lot,” I countered.
He cocked his brows. “That’s a lot of emotions for someone who didn’t want to be a part of my world just a half an hour ago.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him the truth. That it wasn’t just revenge for his alleged death. It was for my parents.
But I held back.
Jerking my chin up, I said, “It wasn’t just for you. It was for Willow and Liz and your brothers and Kim.”
“While that’s admirable, there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you have a part in my retribution on Sigel.”
“Considering I’m the one with the cut and I’m the one he’s going to contact, I don’t think I have much choice.”
“Alexandra,” Deacon growled.
Realizing for the first time in forever that I was naked, I bent over and snatched my robe up off the floor. After draping it over my front, I jabbed my finger at him. “You either do this with me, or I’ll do it alone.”
Deacon loomed over me. “You’re crazier than I thought if you think I”m going to put you in danger.”
“Dammit, Alex!” Deacon snarled.
Instead of cowering back, I just patted his arm. “Archer thought my idea of hiding the knife in the cut was genius. Then when Sigel was distracted at the sight of it, I could snatch it out and go for the jugular.”
“And what happens if Sigel’s men take the cut from you the moment you meet up with him? What if Sigel’s not even at the meet up?” Deacon challenged.
Fuck. I hadn’t thought of that. “Then I guess you’ll have to come up with a better plan for us.”
“Here’s how I see it going down. I’m going to take your phone and lock you in a room at the roadhouse.”
“Liz or Kim or one of the other women would let me out.”
“Not if they had orders from Rev not too.”
“Do you honestly think your brother is going to allow you to keep me locked up?”
Deacon swept his hands to his hips. “Does he know you stole Andy’s cut?”
“Not exactly,” I replied, my bravado fading.