29. Thorne
Chapter 29
Thorne
Shock tangles with the truth, electrifying the space between us.
Ivy stares back at me and I at her. She’s right there, paces away, but it feels like she’s on the other side of the moon.
I’d thought that perhaps she wanted to look at the database to see what evidence it held against her father.
No way would I have ever imagined this. That she saw the scar-faced man, too. And she didn’t just see him. She’s provided some of the missing pieces that has mystified many, including me, for years.
The scar-faced man is a Knight, and those words…
Those words valin mortilum dohaliues are the ones I couldn’t remember.
It feels strange to hear them now and cast my mind back to my eight-year-old self.
I forgot the words—or whatever the hell they are—but now I’m sure of them.
I’m sure those were the same words the scar-faced man spoke as he carved out the hearts of my guards.
Hearing those words flow from Ivy’s lips was like remembering an old tune that was locked away in my memory but always remained a part of me.
Ivy is like the missing piece of my brain. She held memories that I don’t have yet.
I share too many coincidences with this girl. This is one more thing.
Although she may not remember the words exactly, when you know what something sounds like you can always try to find out what it is.
Over the years I couldn’t even do that.
How did she remember and I didn’t?
Maybe the answer is as simple as that. She did and I did not.
She was also able to see the guy's Knight tattoos.
I never saw those.
I was more terrified than I want to admit because I’ve grown up to be this strong person everyone sees. But I was eight years old. The weakest I’d ever been in my life.
I’d just watched Caspian get taken away. I thought the men were going to kill him, and I knew my family had been taken, too. People around me I’d known from birth were all dead. It was a nightmare.
“Thorne…” Her voice, soft, searching and gentle, seeps into my soul. I want to answer her but all I can do is stare.
Earlier, when I asked her why her music sounded like death, she said it was because of her past. I understand now.
“Those words: valin mortilum dohaliues. I never remembered what they were. I just couldn’t.” My voice sounds hoarse, as if I haven’t spoken for a hundred years.
“Do you know what they mean?”
“No.”
She looks disheartened. “I’ve tried looking them up but I don’t even know what language it is. At one point I thought it was Old Norse, but when Levgen started teaching me how to speak it I knew those words were something else.”
“Maybe it’s something old, or just a language we don’t know.” I try to focus but my mind is all over the place. “Do you remember anything else about that night?”
“That’s all I saw. Remembering that scar-faced man terrified me for years. I’d never seen anyone die before, so when he killed my father’s friend it was awful.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you… No one believed my father when he told them about him. No one could identify anyone like him, but I guess the description is too vague. I knew if I saw him again I would know who he was, with the scar or without it. That’s why I wanted to look at the database.”
“I’ve searched it before. He’s not there. My uncle searched too.”
Her shoulders slump. “Oh.” With that simple word I can see just how much she wants to help her father. I would be the same if I were her.
“When the attack happened my uncle searched high and low for that man. He checked everything available to him. That included the Knights’ database. The moment I became a Knight and got access to the database I searched for him, too.”
Ivy looks even more despondent.
“When things don’t add up in our world the answer is always that it was an inside job.” So many things are. “Apart from me, no one else had seen the scar-faced man. There was no mention of him until two years after my family’s attack when your father spoke of seeing him at the palace. That’s the only reason your father was allowed to live.”
Ivy’s breath catches and her pulse leaps against the pale skin of her throat. “That’s why?”
“Yes. My family’s deaths are an anomaly that no one has been able to resolve. With all our resources, the Knights have had to file their deaths away as a mystery.” I take a measured breath. “My uncle is an asshole but he wanted justice for his brother’s murder. He was willing to keep anything that would help get that, so when he thought your father was linked to the plot he kept him alive at the Hallows. He hoped that one day something else would come up and your father would be able to identify him. But nothing else has.”
“My father didn’t do anything, Thorne. He took his job as seriously as he took being a father to me. I know that in my heart. I might have been young, but I know that.”
I believe her.
I actually believe her. But belief in this situation is nothing without proof. We still need proof, still need answers, still need so much more .
“I will keep that in mind.”
She looks grateful to hear that. This girl will make me do anything for her. I wish I could tell her I believe her just to see that look of gratitude again.
But I’m not there yet. There’s too much pain in my soul. It’s too raw and right now, all we have are words and memories.
I have to figure out what all of this means before I can say anything like that to her.
“I don’t think your father knew the scar-faced man was a Knight. Tonight is the first I’m hearing that. Who else knows?”
“Just my mom.”
I narrow my eyes. “Not even Levgen?”
“No. He doesn’t know the man was a Knight or anything about the strange words he spoke.”
That’s odd. “Why wouldn’t your mom want you to tell him that? That might have helped your father’s investigation.” It could have helped me.
“My mom was terrified. She was so scared we were going to die. The Knights were going to kill us, Thorne. Death by firing squad .” A tear runs down her cheek. “When Levgen saved us my mom barely wanted me to mention my father’s name. Every time I spoke about the scar-faced man she shut me down. She thought I would say whatever I needed to to help my father. She didn’t believe me. No one believed me. They thought I made it up to help him.”
“I was hardly believed, either. People thought I made up a monster to explain the disaster and the loss of my family.”
She sniffles and nods. “Over the years I hated that my mom didn’t want to hear anything about that horrible night. But as I got older I understood her. I was her little girl and she didn’t want to watch me die like that. She wasn’t even thinking about herself. In her mind my father was guilty and she was going to do whatever she could to protect me, and Levgen. He didn’t need to help us.”
I nod, understanding her, too. “He risked a lot.”
“He did. But sometimes… I feel like I really died. I imagine feeling those bullets piercing through me. I can see myself being ripped apart, and I see my mother, too. The two of us as dead as those people were at the palace.”
She pauses and wipes her tears. I walk over to her and rest my hands on her shoulders.
“It didn’t happen.”
“But it could have and nearly did.”
“It didn’t. I’m not going to let anything happen to you or your family.”
“Really, Thorne?”
“I promise.”
“Thank you. You’ll never know how much that means to me.”
“I think I do.” I give her a faint smile, showing I understand. “Is there anything else you need to tell me?”
She shakes her head slowly. “No. You know everything about me now. Everything .”
“Then leave this with me.” I pull her closer, holding her to my heart. “I will look into it further.”
“What are you going to do if you’ve already searched the database before?”
“The two of us can start by looking through it together.” I think that will make her feel better in some ways, even though it’s pointless. “I don’t think we’ll find him but we can look. Maybe you’ll see something I didn’t see.”
“I would really like that.” She seems hopeful, then thinks for a moment. “Thorne, I thought all Knights had to be on the database. If he’s not there and he’s a Knight, isn’t that against some law?”
“Yes, but some Knights aren’t on there. There are various reasons for them to stay hidden but, oftentimes, there are some we refer to as rogue Knights. I suspect this guy is like that.”
Her eyes darken with a mixture of fear and curiosity. “I don’t think he was working by himself.”
“Neither do I.” I cup the side of her face and she places the flat of her palm to my chest. “I think someone hired him. But now that I know he’s a Knight it narrows my search.” Even though I still feel like I’m swimming in the ocean trying to pull the drops of water apart.
I’ll need help.
Not Caspian, though. As much as I would like to tell him what I’ve learned tonight, and as much as he deserves to know, I can’t say a word. Not yet.
I can’t tell him because of her.
Ivy.
The moment I say one word about this he’ll want to know where I got my information. I’d have to tell him her secret. Telling him her secret puts him in that position of conflict. He’s supposed to be the next leader of the Knights and the next Pakhan of the Komarovski.
He’d be bound to kill her just for avoiding the death sentence.
Kill first, ask questions later.
I can’t let that happen to her, so I’ll say nothing to him.
The only person I can trust to help me now, and trust with Ivy’s secret, is Lucian.
I just hope that maybe, maybe we can get to the bottom of this.
Finally…