30. Ivy
Chapter 30
Ivy
I rest against Thorne’s chest.
We’re lying in his bed wrapped within the warmth of his sheets and each other.
It’s just past three in the morning. I fell asleep in his arms and woke up over an hour ago. I haven’t been able to sleep since.
I’m already an insomniac but the last two weeks have been particularly bad.
It was two weeks ago that I stood in that hotel room in Amherst with Thorne, spilling the rest of my secrets about the scar-faced man.
It was two weeks ago that we realized we both knew the man, and Thorne has been looking into the situation since.
It was another strange twist of events but on this occasion, it’s left me more restless than ever because for once I have hope.
That sounds incongruent and doesn’t make sense. Hope is supposed to set you at ease and make you feel positive, but I feel none of those things.
I won’t feel anything of the sort until my father is free. And that still feels like a faraway dream for the lost little girl inside me.
All I have right now is the knowledge that I’m not alone anymore. Thorne knows everything, and he’s done everything he could to give me that closure I wanted when Isabelle first told me about the Knights' database.
Thorne and I searched it together, even though he knew we’d find nothing, and he even showed me stuff about my father. Recent updates and pictures that were taken a few years ago.
They’d shaved Dad’s head and battered him. But the worst thing was, Dad was missing an eye. I cried and cried and cried when I saw that.
Thorne did his best to comfort me, but there’s only so much anyone can do. There will only be so much he can do going forward. Telling him the truth doesn’t mean we fixed things. So I’m still in limbo.
I shuffle to face Thorne. My movements don’t wake him. He’s still out cold.
I stare at him, fascinated that even like this, in this sleep state, he projects that air of danger.
Most people, even animals, look softer, less harsh and more vulnerable in their sleep. He doesn’t.
Thorne still looks like the vengeful god lying in wait to wreak havoc on anything that stands in his way or takes what belongs to him.
I never felt more like I belonged to him than in those moments back in Amherst when he held me. Something happened between us that night that felt like more than the sharing of truths and memories of darkness.
Every time I’ve questioned myself about my feelings for Thorne I always put up that wall in my mind to stop myself from falling for him.
I can’t even see that wall now. There’s not a single brick in sight, and I don’t think I’ve been able to see the wall for a while now.
I don’t even know when it came down, but I know I fell for Thorne a long time ago.
Now, as I look at him, I know I love him.
I love him.
He stirs and a shudder runs through me. It’s like he heard my thoughts. I hope he didn’t, because falling for him was never part of the plan.
He looks at me and caresses the top of my head.
“Bambi, you’re awake.” His voice is thick with sleep and sex.
“I was just thinking.”
“Too much thinking again, little deer. Come here to me.” He guides me to his lips and kisses me.
Thorne shuffles on top of me, then he’s inside me again, pounding into my body.
I fall asleep after we come and he’s kissing my neck, whispering sweet nothings in Russian to me. I drift into a dream where there’s grayness and silence, then I stir when I hear voices.
The voices sound angry and rushed.
I open my eyes and am momentarily disoriented when I realize it’s morning.
The bright sun is spilling through the windows onto me.
Now that I’m awake I can hear the voices better.
It’s Thorne and…
Tiffany?
That can’t be right.
Why would she be here in Thorne’s apartment?
And what the hell could they be arguing about?
I glance at the clock on the wall. It’s ten.
“This isn’t fucking happening.” That’s Thorne. He’s shouting at her.
I have to know what’s going on. It’s definitely not anything good.
Quickly, I get off the bed and put on my clothes. I wrap my hair in a messy bun, then take a deep breath and make my way out of the room.
As soon as I turn the corner I see Tiffany.
It’s actually her.
As usual, she’s dressed to the nines. Like she needs to be picture ready to sign that modeling contract from Chanel she hopes to get.
What the hell is she doing here?
I see Thorne next. He’s shirtless and looks like a model, too, with his abs on show and those muscular thighs pressing against his sweatpants.
Tiffany spots me and scowls. “Good God. Look what the cat dragged in. Is that seriously what you like to fuck, Thorne?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Thorne shouts at her.
“What’s going on? Why are you here, Tiffany?” I glare at her. She can disrespect me all she wants at the sorority house where she’s queen bee, but not here. Not in front of Thorne. “I’m sure you’re not here to question Thorne’s sexual preferences.”
She smiles at me as if my words mean nothing. “Bitch, I am still your president. And I don’t think that’s any way to speak to the future Mrs. Ivanov.”
My lungs collapse, trapping my next breath. Her words grip my heart like a wrench and twist. Twist until it stops beating inside my chest.
What did she just say?
“Tiffany. Get. Out.” Thorne’s voice is drill-sergeant stern, but I notice he didn’t correct her.
“What does she mean by the future Mrs. Ivanov?” Although my voice trembles I keep my gaze fixed on him now.
“Oh, you didn’t tell her, Thorne?” Tiffany laughs heartily as if she just heard the funniest joke in the world. “He’s supposed to get married. To me.”
I snap my gaze back to her.
“Sorry, Bambi.” Tiffany gives me a condescending smirk and I see now what’s so funny. The joke is me.
“I said get the fuck out. Fucking get out now.” Thorne points at the door. “And don’t you dare speak to her.”
“Of course, my lord.” The sarcasm in her voice is so lethal it’s suffocating, even though she hasn’t touched me. The answer is a play on the other week when Thorne told her to clean the function hall. I can tell she’s absolutely loving every second of getting us both back.
But what is this ?
What madness is this?
Tiffany turns on her heels and leaves, slamming the door behind her.
I turn back to Thorne, searching his eyes, my heart praying that she was lying.
“Is it true?” My voice is slow and muddled, as if I just made a sound without speaking any coherent words.
Thorne dips his head, breathes out a ragged sigh, and slowly looks back at me. “Yes. It’s true.”
Tiffany just said her piece and the truth, but I’m still just as shocked to hear it from him. The confirmation hurts me deep to my soul.
“You knew this whole time that you had to marry Tiffany?”
“No. I didn’t know I had to marry her. But I knew I had to get married. My… uncle. He’s forcing me to get married in order to get my position in the company after I graduate.”
Tears pull at my eyes. I blink, willing them away, but I know I won’t be able to hold them back. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
His lips part and he attempts an answer, but then he shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
Humiliation builds in my chest like hot steam but instead of rising, it sinks in my stomach and freezes into a giant ball of despair.
Thorne has to marry Tiffany to take his position in a multibillion dollar company. Of course he wouldn’t choose me.
Choosing me would mean he gets nothing.
“I guess you’re done with me now.”
“No.” He steps forward.
“Yes. It’s over, Thorne.”
I turn to leave but he rushes forward and grabs me. “It’s not fucking over. You’re mine.”
“Stop it. I was never yours. This was never real to you if you knew you could never keep me.” My words hit the mark. His eyes fill with a sadness I’d never known he could possibly feel. “Let me go.”
“Ivy.” His grip tightens, hurting me.
“Let me go, Thorne. At least give me the dignity of leaving. I just found out my boyfriend is marrying someone else.” I don’t even know why I called him that if we were never real, but I’m glad when his fingers loosen.
The tears fall when he releases me, and I follow in the wake of Tiffany’s trail. Leaving.
When I walk through the door my heart sinks further. My heart is aching so much I can’t breathe.
It was only hours ago that I accepted that I loved Thorne. Hours.
How could that be and now this has happened?
I’ve lost him.
He has to marry Tiffany.
What’s worse is everything we never spoke about.
I’m still a secret. I’m still a dead girl walking. I still have to trust Thorne to keep his silence.
According to our agreement I have no right to release myself from his ownership, but I just did.
What the hell is going to happen now?
And how did things get worse?