Chapter 34
“Where do you want to go now?”
I look up at Xavier and shrug. “Could we walk a little more? I’m not ready to go back to your dorm room just yet.”
He nods. “As long as I’m with you, I don’t care what we’re doing or where we are.”
I duck my head as a blush heats my face. “Thanks.”
After grabbing something to eat, Xavier and I have been wandering the campus grounds, enjoying the night air. The soft lighting from the lampposts casts gentle shadows, and the trees whisper above us in a gentle breeze.
It’s peaceful here, away from the dangers and the scrutiny of the Order. My tension from earlier melts away with each step I take. Xavier’s presence beside me is comforting, solid, and it gives me space to think about everything that’s happened today. Especially about how he intervened to save Ben’s life.
That act alone shifts something within me. Xavier, with all his complexities and irrational behavior, chose to protect Ben even when it could have compromised his Trial. And his life.
It’s not just Xavier’s strength or his intelligence that defines him. It’s his capacity for morality, for making tough choices for the sake of others. It’s this blend of danger and decency that makes my chest ache when I look at him.
The change in scenery snaps me out of my reverie. The secluded garden located behind the library is dimly lit, with large bushes and benches hidden in dark corners, creating a private and intimate atmosphere.
Xavier stops, looking around before his gaze settles back on me.
“Why are we here?” I lift a brow. “Are you trying to give me a hint?”
He captures my chin and tilts my head back until all I can see is him. “If my goal was to have sex with you, I wouldn’t hint about it. I’d simply take it.”
I shift my stance, squeezing my thighs together. It’s been too long since we’ve had sex, and I miss it. My injury isn’t completely healed, but I’m perfectly fine to engage in some vigorous activity. Honestly, at this point it’d be worth an injury.
“Then why are we here?” I ask.
“This is for you. Because you deserve a peaceful moment away from the insanity of the Order.” He slides his hand from my chin to follow the curve of my throat and the cleft between my breasts. “Tonight is about you getting what you need. What you want.”
“And if I want you?”
His eyes flash with hunger, and a low rumble vibrates through his chest. I lift my hand and place it over his heart. It beats fasters as Xavier leans down and presses his forehead against mine, breathing me in.
I close my eyes and savor the contact. The intimacy. It’s so rare that he’s affectionate and unguarded.
“I want you too,” he murmurs. “So fucking much. But we can’t do this. Not yet. Your injury isn’t healed, and I’m not risking another one.”
I frown. “It’s a flesh wound, Xavier.”
He grips my waist and a muscle flickers in his jaw, evidence of his restraint. “Doesn’t matter.”
“I was cleared by the doctor earlier,” I lie.
“You were not.”
Damn.“Yes, I was, before I went to Ben’s room. I ran into the doctor in the hallway.”
He pulls back, his gaze raking over my face. “Really?”
The hopeful note in his voice has me biting back a smile. “Mmhmm. I’m allowed to engage in ‘strenuous physical activities.’” When Xavier doesn’t immediately make a move to kiss or fuck me, I tilt my head. “Don’t you want to?”
Xavier snorts. “Of course I want to have sex with you.”
“Then what are we waiting for?”
“Some measure of self-control.”
“Xavier—”
“Fuck it.”
He growls, the sound so possessive and animalistic, it shoots straight between my thighs. Then he crashes his mouth to mine, obliterating my thoughts. Igniting my passion.
When I open for him, his tongue darts inside, overpowering mine in a dance of desire. The taste of him is intoxicating and his scent envelops me until I want to drown in him.
I moan, and he deepens the kiss, one hand gripping the back of my head, holding me tight. He slides his other hand over my ass, gripping it and lifting me onto my tiptoes. He squeezes and grinds his hips into mine. His cock is hard, and it presses against me through the fabric of our clothes, making me squirm.
“I need you,” he says. “So fucking much.”
“Then take me.”
Xavier spins me towards the nearest tree. I throw out my hands, the bark scraping my palms. He’s quick to remove my jeans and my panties, and once the fabric falls to my ankles, I step out of it.
Before I can turn to face him, he reaches around and cups my pussy, his fingers dipping into the folds. He finds my clit and rubs it with the rough pad of his thumb. My hips buck at the contact, and I gasp loudly.
“Shh, little raptor,” he murmurs. “There are people around. If you make too much noise, they’ll find us. Unless you want them to see that you’re my good little slut.”
“I—”
Xavier cuts off my words with a thrust of his finger, penetrating me deeply. I groan, unable to hold back the sound.
“Fuck, you’re wet,” he says. “And you’re so tight. It’s been too long since I’ve stretched this pussy. My pussy.”
He continues to thrust, his fingers moving in and out of me. I lean forward, bracing myself against the tree trunk. The feel of him inside me is pure ecstasy. I’m already on the verge of an orgasm, but I hold back. I don’t want this moment to end.
Xavier withdraws his fingers, and I whimper in protest. He chuckles as he removes his pants. Then his cock brushes against the sensitive skin of my thigh. He slides it up and down, teasing me until I can’t take it anymore.
I turn and reach for him, wanting to wrap my fingers around his thick length.
“No.” He grabs my wrist and pushes it away. “You don’t get to touch. Turn around and hold still so you can take this fucking like a good girl.”
I face the tree, placing my palms on the rough bark. Xavier kicks my feet apart, widening my stance, and my heart thrashes in my chest. He presses his cock against my entrance and slowly pushes into me. Inch by inch.
“Xavier,” I breathe.
“Fuck, yes. I love the way you say my name,” he rasps.
Xavier groans and thrusts into me, burying his cock to the hilt. I cry out, the sensation overwhelming. He starts a punishing rhythm, his hips slamming against mine, his cock filling me completely. I lose myself in the pleasure, letting go and surrendering to him, rocking back and forth.
“Come for me, little raptor,” he demands.
His words are all I need.
I cry out, the sound loud in the stillness of the night. He thrusts one last time, burying himself deep. He groans, his grip tightening on my hips as he comes.
Xavier pulls out and spins me around before he leans down and kisses me, his lips soft and sweet.
“Again.”
My eyes widen. “Again?”
“I’m not done with you.”
I glance down, seeing that his cock is already hard again. “Are you sure?” I ask, my voice hesitant.
Xavier smirks. “I’m sure.”
He drops to his knees, spreading my thighs, his gaze roaming over my skin. “I love seeing my cum on you. Look at it dripping from your pussy.”
I lean against the tree, gripping the bark for support. “Oh, fuck.”
He dips his head and laps at the creamy fluid with his tongue, then uses it to cover my clit. I grip the back of his head, my fingers tangling in his hair, as he sucks, sending jolts of pleasure through my body.
I arch into him. Xavier continues to lick and suck, his tongue sliding in and out of me. The sensations are too much, and I come again, my muscles clenching around him.
He pulls away, a satisfied expression on his face. “We taste fucking incredible.”
“Erm, thank you?”
Xavier grins, wipes his chin, and stands. He grabs me by the throat and yanks me to him, his mouth slamming onto mine. I can taste myself on his tongue, the flavor salty and sweet. The kiss is savage. Brutal.
“Tell me how badly you need me,” he says against my lips.
“Badly.”
“That’s not good enough. If you want my cock, you’re going to have to beg for it. Say you want to get fucked.”
My pussy clenches. I moan, my body heating even more. “Fuck me.”
His nostrils flare and his eyes flash with lust. “Now say, ‘Please.’”
“Please, Xavier.”
“That’s my good girl.”
Xavier lines his cock up with my entrance and slides in, filling me with one stroke. I grip his shoulders, digging my nails into his shirt. He begins to thrust, his pace slow and deliberate. I follow his lead. It’s no less intense, but there’s a tenderness to it that confuses me.
It’s no longer carnal fucking. It’s… loving.
My eyes narrow in confusion, even as my body coils, my ecstasy building again.
“What is it?” he asks. When I shake my head, he stops fucking me. “Tell me. Now.”
I swallow hard, knowing I’m about to ruin the mood. “Something’s changed.”
Xavier stiffens. “What do you mean?”
“You’re different.”
He doesn’t respond.
“It’s like we’re making love instead of having sex.”
The moment the words leave my mouth, the air around us grows thick. A storm is brewing, but it’s not the sky that’s going to come crashing down. It’s us.
Xavier withdraws to thrust inside me, harder than before, wrenching a groan from me. He keeps going, increasing the force with every gyration of his hips until the bark digs into my skin, along with his fingers.
He bites the tender flesh below my ear, the pain mixing with pleasure, creating a heady sensation. “Do you think I’m someone who’s capable of love?”
“I—I don’t know,” I stammer, trying and failing to think about anything else except his cock inside me. “But I hope so.”
Xavier’s grip tightens, his nails biting my skin. His thrusts are almost painful as he slams into me over and over, the force jarring my body. I grab onto the tree for support, but the tree itself seems to shake with his efforts.
“I love you so fucking much I can’t breathe when I look at you,“ he grits out. “I love you so much it hurts, and I want to die. I loved you the first night I met you, and I’ll love you until we are ash because I let the world fucking burn to save you.
“Tibi. Temper. Sum.”
He punctuates each word with a hard thrust. I gasp, the intensity of his words, and the pleasure coursing through my veins, stealing the air from my lungs. My orgasm explodes inside me, consuming me in a fiery blaze. I scream, my nails clawing at the tree as my body shudders with the force of my release.
Xavier comes too, his cock throbbing inside me, his cum filling me. His grip is bruising, his breath ragged.
The world stops spinning, and we remain there, tangled in each other’s arms. The only sound is our heavy breathing, and the only movement is the rise and fall of our chests.
We stay like that, suspended in a moment of peace. But it’s a false sense of calm. Because I can’t stop my tears. They stream down my cheeks and drip from my face.
Xavier’s eyes flash with concern. “Fuck. Did I hurt you?”
“No,” I whisper, the words barely audible. “That’s just not the answer I was expecting.”
He releases a deep breath and kisses me on the forehead. “I know, little raptor. But it’s the truth. There are no limits on what I’d do for you. The Order wants me to be a killer, but to keep you safe, I’ll be evil incarnate.”