Chapter 15 Neo
NEO
I have no idea what’s gotten into Wylder.
After our date, I tried to give him what I thought we both wanted. Space. It meant I wouldn’t keep falling for him, and he’d get the peace he’s been demanding since I moved in.
At least, I thought we both wanted it.
But from how Wylder’s been behaving, he doesn’t. Not a single bit.
It’s so fucking confusing. He’s gone from asking me to sit farther away to literally dragging my chair closer. And that’s if he doesn’t just try and insist I sit on his lap.
Which, I might add, is not “straight” behavior.
Wylder seems long past that. He uses any excuse to touch me. Half the time, he doesn’t even bother to have a reason. His hand finds its way to my knee as we work at his desk. He touches my elbow as we walk along the corridors. Sometimes, he holds the back of my neck to steer me through the house.
It’s aggravating because I’m trying to keep my distance. But what’s most irritating is that I don’t want him to stop.
Not even a little.
I fucking love it when he touches me. My body floods with warmth wherever our skin connects. It’s as though I’m hardwired to respond to him now, my muscles relaxing at his mere proximity.
If I didn’t know better, I’d think Wylder might return my feelings.
But I do know better. Every time I find myself softening toward him, his words from our date ring in my ears.
“I’ve never needed anything more than superficial.”
I’ve never had anything more than superficial. Doesn’t mean I don’t want it though. I do. I’m not saying I need to settle down, get married, and have a bunch of kids right this second, but that’s the goal. So it doesn’t matter what Wylder is trying to do; it’s not going to happen.
We want and need very different things in life.
I just wish knowing that made it easier to resist him, to not lean into his touch or feel like I have a limb missing whenever he’s not in the room.
I might’ve been the one to start us down this road, but I regret it now. What began as a game is having real-life consequences I never predicted.
Ones that threaten to undo me entirely.
I just need to be wary. Wylder might be forcing us closer physically, but so long as I keep my distance emotionally, I’ll be okay.
It’s been a week since our date, and I’ve made great progress with Umbra. I’m so close I can practically taste their servers. A few more hours, and I should have it.
“What are you doing?”
I jump at the sound of Wylder’s voice close to my ear. I have to force myself not to look at him. Something that’s getting harder with each passing day. “Hacking.”
His breath ghosts my ear. “Umbra?”
“Obviously,” I mutter. I pretend like the code on my screen is the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen. “Who else would I be hacking?”
“I don’t know.” His hand brushes the back of my neck, and I fight the urge to shiver. “You might’ve picked up a job off the dark web.”
“Like I’d have time with the amount of work I’m doing for you,” I grumble.
In truth, I don’t mind it. Crime pays, but I don’t like it.
I’d much rather have an honest paycheck at the end of the month, but I’ve learned the hard way that that life isn’t for me.
No one wants to hire someone with no qualifications, credentials, or references. “You keep me too busy.”
“Good.” His fingers tighten on my nape. “I don’t want you doing those jobs anymore.”
I frown at my screen. “Why not?”
“It’s too dangerous.”
I snort, continuing to type code. “You are aware that what you do is far more dangerous than anything I take on, right? I’m behind a screen, not clubbing people to death.”
“I don’t club people to death.” Wylder sniffs. “Cade and Samson might, but it’s too messy for me. I prefer guns.”
I shiver again, but for a different reason this time. “Gross.”
He gives an amused rumble. “How can you be okay with knives but not guns?”
“I don’t know. Don’t ask me to explain my logic.”
I make a mistake with the code and scowl. It’s not my fault. I can’t fucking concentrate with how Wylder’s thumb is caressing the side of my neck.
I can almost hear his smirk, like he’s noticed the effect he’s having on me and enjoys it. “You should take a break.”
“I can’t. I’m so close now.”
“I could ask Ansel to do this.”
“You know Cade would never let him near Umbra.”
My chair suddenly shoots backward. I grab on to the arms with an alarmed squeak before turning to glare at Wylder. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Looking at him was a mistake. He’s taken to wearing those damn glasses every day now. There’s a fine layer of stubble over his jaw—testament to the late hour. He’s lost his tie and left the top three buttons of his shirt undone.
My mouth dries out as I picture undoing more of them, revealing the hard planes of his chest that I know are underneath. Fuck, why does he need to be so good-looking? It’s not fucking fair.
He spins my chair so I’m facing him. “I need to pay you.”
“You paid me last week.”
“Money, yes.” Wylder leans on the arms of my chair, bringing his face closer to mine. “But I’ve built up quite the debt in terms of secrets.”
“Don’t worry about that.”
“Oh, but I do,” Wylder says smoothly. “I don’t like to be in debt. Keeps me up at night.”
“Aren’t you used to me keeping you up at night?”
I immediately regret my question. That’s something past Neo would say. Not current Neo. Current Neo knows it’s better not to try to bait Wylder.
It’s too late now. It’s out there and can’t be taken back. Not with how Wylder’s eyes light up with delight. Delight and hunger. “I am. I can’t remember the last time I got a full night’s sleep. It’s all your fault.”
“Don’t blame me. I haven’t snuck into your bed since the date.”
“Doesn’t stop the dreams,” he murmurs. His gaze is fixed on my lips. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s wondering how they taste. “Why can’t I stop dreaming of you?”
I don’t answer. There’s not enough blood in my head for me to form a coherent thought. With Wylder’s proximity, it’s all rushed to other places.
“That can be my payment for today,” he continues. “The knowledge that I still dream of you.”
I nod rapidly. “Good. Glad that’s all settled.”
“Not quite. I still owe you six more.”
“Four,” I counter automatically. “We don’t work weekends.”
Technically, that’s not true. I worked all through the weekend trying to crack Umbra’s servers. Not that Wylder was aware of that, given I did so from the safety of my own bedroom. I’d love to say that the time away from him helped with the walls I’m trying to build around my heart.
Instead, I just missed the fucker.
Wylder’s eyes light up in triumph, and I realize I’ve walked straight into his trap. “Four it is.”
“Fine,” I sigh. “Get it over with.”
He tilts his head. “God, I’ve missed your bratting.”
“Is that your first one?”
Wylder shrugs. “If you like.”
“Good,” I breathe, pretending that the knowledge that he’s missed my bratting doesn’t affect me at all. “What’s next?”
“I enjoyed our date.”
My stomach flips, but I don’t comment. “Number three?”
“I can’t stop thinking about your mouth on my cock.” He touches my bottom lip, and it takes everything in me not to flick my tongue over it. “And I can’t stop regretting not taking you up on your generous offer to fuck you.”
A small groan slips from me before I can stop it.
“I think of it every day,” Wylder continues, pressing his thumb more firmly against my lip. “Every fucking day. I come with my hand on my cock and wish you were the one touching me instead.”
His skin brushes my tongue, and I almost moan again. God, why is he making this so hard? Why is he insisting on being so open?
Before our date, before things changed, I would’ve fucking celebrated this win.
But things are different now. Sex between us wouldn’t be casual.
Not for me, at least.
“What did you do to me?” he whispers suddenly, the vulnerable shine in his eyes hitting me square in the chest. “Sometimes I think this is part of your plan to drive me crazy. Make me dependent on your attention and then take it away when I need it.”
I yank my head back so that his hand falls away. “That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Then what are you doing? Because I can’t figure it out.”
“There’s nothing to figure out.” I push the chair back and stand.
I move backward until there are several feet between us.
Until I can’t feel the heat emanating from him.
I wish I could say it makes a difference, but it doesn’t.
If anything, the pull to him is worse now.
“We’re working together, and that’s it.”
“You want to know the worst thing?” Wylder continues as if I didn’t speak, laughing bitterly. “I don’t even care if that is why you’re avoiding me. I’ll take that over you not wanting to be around me anymore.”
“Why?” I ask despite myself. I should be ending this conversation, not encouraging it. “I thought you didn’t like me driving you crazy. You said I was making your life a misery, remember?”
He tugs at his hair, his eyes slightly wild. I realize this is the closest to the edge I’ve ever seen him. His carefully restrained exterior is becoming more unwound with every second that passes. “I did. But I seem to prefer that to being ignored.”
“People ignore you all the time. Your brothers do it on a daily basis.”
“But they aren’t you.” His voice rises to a shout. I stare at him, stunned, as his words reverberate off the walls. “I don’t give a shit about anyone else. I don’t want you to ignore me.”
It’s not a declaration of love, or even interest. But it’s more than anyone has given me before.
It’s also what has me squaring my shoulders and turning for the door. “This is what you wanted. I’m giving you what you asked for. Your assistant will be back soon, and everything can go back to normal.”
I open the door, but it’s slammed shut before I can step through. Wylder’s hand is beside my head, holding it closed. His breath is coming fast and heavy, his chest brushing against my back. “Normal? You think you’ll just leave and that’ll be it?”