Chapter 19 Wylder
WYLDER
I end up regretting that comment, because Neo manages to find a time to come in when I really do least expect it. It’s later that evening, and I’ve wandered into my office just to do a little work, only to have Neo follow me.
“If you work, I work.” He shrugs when I throw him a questioning look.
“You don’t need to.”
He rolls his eyes and flips me off, sitting in his usual seat. “You don’t need to work so late. You can take some time off.”
“Not when I have important phone calls I need to make. The Umbra have taken up too much of my time.”
And you, I think, but don’t say. Because I really don’t mind that distraction.
It’s fun.
“Fine. I need to figure out the targets anyway. The sooner we find them, the sooner you can make them all go away.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to protest that Neo shouldn’t do anymore digging, that I don’t want him being dragged further into this mess.
But then I remember the photo. The one of us, hand in hand on our date, in a moment that should’ve been ours.
A pen snaps in my hand. He’s already embedded in this, whether I like it or not.
I’m twenty minutes into a phone call with a large donor, discussing a multi-year commitment. Neo sighs and mouths Boring before standing up and miming that he’s going to go eat.
I watch his ass as he walks out of the office, all while offering responses to the donor on the other end of the line. Never did like the guy, but he is consistent.
Leaning back in my chair, I rub my eyes before turning my gaze back to my computer, answering his questions about graduation rates and outcomes.
The office door opens, and Neo walks in with a platter of something. My stomach rumbles as he approaches. Cheese, strawberries, and little cakes.
My mouth waters as he sits on my desk, his legs spread slightly, the platter in his lap, and holds out a strawberry.
I shake my head and point to the phone.
He glowers and waggles the strawberry in front of my face.
I shake my head again, and he sighs loudly.
Then his feet hit the arms of my chair, and he shoves them roughly, sending me rolling backward. He sets the platter on the desk and hops down, stepping toward me before falling to his knees.
I shake my head again, so hard my glasses rattle slightly, but he just stares up at me and then points to my hard cock.
I give him one more warning shake of my head before speaking into the phone. “Yes, over three-quarters of students have secured jobs or graduate school placements within six months.”
The little brat smirks before rubbing his face against my dick. Shit. How am I supposed to concentrate? My hand threads through his hair to pull him off, but I only hold him closely against me.
I feel Neo mouthing at my cock, and my mind buzzes, but the voice on the other end of the call is demanding an answer.
My mind races, trying to remember what the question was.
I clear my throat and try to focus. “Yes, I apologize. I had another call come in. Many do credit the scholarship program for letting them focus on school instead of working multiple jobs…”
Neo laughs as I feel my zipper lower, and within seconds, my cock is in his mouth. My head falls back against the chair, his hand snaking up my shirt and tweaking my nipples.
For someone who insists I deal with donors professionally, Neo sure isn’t making that happen right now.
I try to concentrate, I really do, but Neo is insistent, and my monster, after a long nap, is ready to go again. He groans in tandem with me as Neo slowly works me toward the edge.
My hand tightens on the phone, and I accidentally turn the volume up, shocking myself slightly as I frantically try to turn it back down.
Neo chuckles around my cock, the sound making me gasp slightly.
“Yes, your support allows us to provide mentorship…” I hold on to Neo’s head, listening to him gag on my cock as I push him onto me over and over. “…career coaching, and networking opportunities, and hopefully next year, we can expand the mentorships program with your help.”
The donor blathers on and on as I try to keep myself focused, but all I can see is Neo. His eyes are on mine, his head bobbing, his mouth spread wide around my dick.
When I come, I fumble with the mute button and let out a roar.
He looks triumphant between my legs. I stroke his cheeks, smearing the drool across his skin. And when I finally thank the man and hang up, Neo is pushing himself upright, looking pleased as pie.
“That was inappropriate for the workspace.”
“You didn’t pull me away. Quite the opposite,” he says, his voice rasping.
My mouth twitches, and he runs a thumb across his bottom lip.
“Anyway, I did warn you.” He points to the food on the desk. “You need to eat too. If you don’t, I will feed it to you. Piece by piece.”
I zip up my pants and adjust my glasses.
“Who says I don’t want that?”
He makes a face and then sits down on my desk, hooking his feet into my chair and rolling me forward.
I let him, stopping when I’m pressed against his legs.
He brings the strawberry that started all of this up to my lips.
I take a bite, and he lets out a soft exhale as he pops the leftover bit into his mouth, finishing it off.
“You’re fucking sexy. It’s wrong how hot you are. Have I said that?”
I smirk. “Yes, when I was sucking your dick.”
His breath hitches, and he presses a grape into my mouth a little too roughly. I make sure to nip at his thumb.
We do this back and forth—him feeding me and then finishing off my small bite, until the platter is cleared and my stomach is full. It’s only then that he falls into his chair and opens his laptop.
“Dotty is going to bring us some tea.”
“Is she? Is it poisoned?”
“Nah,” he snorts. “You think the worst of her, but she’s super nice.”
I stare at him as the door opens and Dotty makes her way in, a frown on her face, her eyes narrowed at me as she approaches. When she sees Neo though, her face softens.
“Here you go,” she says, setting the tray of tea and cups on the desk. “As requested.”
“Thanks, boo,” he says, and offers her a smile.
I do the same, and Dotty scoffs, trailing out of the room without a backward glance.
“Why does she like you better than me?”
“Probably because I talk to her,” Neo says as he pours out the tea. “Did you know she has a son at Harvard?”
“I didn’t even know she had children.”
“That right there is why she likes me better.” Neo hands me a cup with a sigh. “Did it ever occur to you to just…have a conversation with her?”
“No.” I sip my tea. Neo’s sweetened it. I’ve never had sugar in my tea before. I quite like it. “Was that rude of me? To have not taken the time to get to know her?”
Neo hums. “Depends. Was it because she’s the help?”
“Of course not. She’s been around forever. She just…she’s part of the house.”
“Oh my god. Listen, you’re mostly normal with Jules. You might be rich, but you’re not a snob. Well—” He surveys the room over the rim of his cup. “—most of the stuff in this place is snobby shit. I’m forever worried I’m going to knock over some priceless antique while I rush around.”
I snort, recalling how he tears down the halls away from me. “No, you’re not.”
“True.” He smirks like he knows exactly where my mind has gone. “But I don’t like the thought of upsetting you.”
“Also a lie.”
He laughs, the sound hitting me in my gut. I stare at how the fading sunlight catches his jawline. God, he truly is beautiful.
“Okay, well, that’s technically not a lie. Annoying you? Yes. Driving you fucking crazy? Absolutely.” His laughter fades away as he meets my gaze. “But truly upsetting you? I don’t ever want to do that, Wylder.”
My chest expands at the force of emotion that’s swelling there. I don’t know what to say, how to articulate what I’m feeling. Instead, I offer him a piece of myself. “I hate everything in here.”
Neo looks taken aback. “You do?”
I nod, my cheeks flushed with shame. “All of it. It’s my father’s design. His taste. I can’t stand it. Whenever I walk into a room, it reminds me of him.”
“Then why haven’t you changed it?”
I stare down at the fragile china in my hands. It’s a good metaphor for how I’m feeling having this conversation. Fragile. Like the slightest pressure one way or another might make me fracture. “Because I feel like he’s still watching me.”
Neo draws closer, his knee brushing mine. “You don’t seem like the kind of person who believes in that stuff.”
“I’m not,” I respond honestly. “I’m a man of science, through and through. I like facts. Data. Hard evidence. If it were anyone else, I’d say they were being ridiculous. But it’s because it’s him…”
The cup is plucked from my fingers before Neo’s hands slide into mine. “Is it because he’s your father? Or because he was so shitty?”
I don’t answer. I can’t find the words.
Neo sighs. “Sorry, I should be better at this, but I’ve never had a family. Hard to miss what you’ve never had, you know?”
I raise our joined hands to press a kiss to his. “I’m sorry you grew up that way. One day, you’ll have the family you want and deserve, and you’ll never need to worry about them leaving you.”
Because it’s me. I can be that family.
It’s too soon to say that. I know it. I’m falling too fast, with no idea whether Neo is too. There’s only one thing I’m certain of.
I’ll never be able to leave Neo. Not even if he asks me to.
Even with all the awful deeds I’ve committed, I’ve never thought I was a bad person. There were reasons behind them. Logical explanations for why they needed to happen.
But this? Wanting Neo and knowing I won’t let him go? This might make me a bad person. There’s no logic. No reasoning. Even I don’t fully understand it. It’s just a base, primal need.
He’s mine.
His throat bobs as he gives me a soft smile. “Yeah. Maybe. Just need to find someone who’ll put up with me first.”
“I seem to be doing pretty well.”
“Give it time,” he says breezily. From how his gaze cuts away, he’s feeling far from breezy. “Everyone has their breaking point.”
I squeeze his hands until his eyes return to mine. The sadness there has me wanting to punch someone. Ideally, every person who’s made Neo feel unworthy in the past. “They do. You’ve found mine and surpassed it multiple times. But guess what? I’m still right here.”
And I’m not going anywhere.
“For now.” He clears his throat. “Anyway, we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about your dad. About why you feel like he’s still haunting you and making us live in this fucking mausoleum.”
We were, but I don’t want to talk about that now. I don’t give a shit about what’s haunting me. I want to talk about what’s haunting Neo. To figure out what’s going on between us. Put a label on it, if that’s what he wants. I don’t need one—I already know he’s mine. Nothing will change that now.
But will having a label change things for Neo? What can I do to let him know that I’m in this? That he has all of me? My heart? My soul? My trust?
Because he does. Change doesn’t happen often for me, but when it does, it’s all-consuming.
That’s what’s happened with Neo. He’s smashed through my life like a firework, burning everything in his wake and shocking me to life.
To a life that has so much more color now that he’s in it.
“If you don’t start talking, I’ll go cause some mischief.” Neo sniffs. “Not the fun kind, either. The type that doesn’t end in orgasms for either of us.”
Suddenly, it occurs to me that I can kill two birds with one stone. I can tell Neo exactly why I feel my father’s ghost hanging over me and, in doing so, prove how much I trust him. Give him a piece of knowledge that’ll prove I’ll never walk away from him.
Ignoring the iron fist of fear around my heart, I keep my gaze steady as I reveal the secret I’d planned to take to my grave. “I killed my father.”