Chapter 9
“Come here, darlin’.” Greaser lets himself in and comes straight to me, wrapping me in his arms and trying his best to comfort me.
“He was so mad, he stormed out and left,” I try to explain through my tears. Regretting the way I’ve handled everything and have no idea how to fix it. Vike slept with Trinity before I kissed him; he couldn’t have predicted what was gonna happen between us.
“Hey, stop this now; it ain’t good for the baby.
” Greaser presses his hand against my stomach to remind me that it’s not just me I need to think about.
“Vike’s just being territorial. He made Saul a promise to take care of ya, and he realized today that what we have is special.
Maybe he feels like he’s let Saul down, allowing you to get with a rogue like me.
” He laughs. “ Or maybe he’s trying to give himself a way outta all this.
” His eyes drop to remind me of all the baggage I’m carrying.
“I never asked him to—”
“Vike and your brother were best friends; he feels like he owes it to him to take care of you. But he doesn’t have to anymore.
” Greaser lifts my chin with his finger and kisses me like he did back at the club, and instead of stopping him, I test it out so I can find out what my feelings are.
It would be so much simpler if I could be in love with a man who liked me back.
“There, better already,” Greaser tells me, pulling away and stroking my cheek with his thumb. “You're not his concern now, you’re mine, and I’m gonna take such good care of you. Of both of you…my girls.” He smiles as he looks down at his hand and strokes me tenderly.
“Greaser, I know what happened at the club, but I don’t know if this is—”
“Don’t start having doubts on me now, not when you’ve got me feeling like the luckiest man on the West Coast.” He laughs some more, and it’s so good to see after all he’s been through.
“Alicia, we’re perfect for each other; you're carrying my flesh and blood. You wanna feel loved and desired, and I’ve been waiting for the chance to do that ever since I came back to town.
” He kisses me again, and I have to forget that I ever had a single feeling for Vike, because he’s right, I don’t want to do this alone.
I need to accept that me and Vike are never gonna happen.
It hurts, but I know Greaser can make it better.
He’s a different person from the one who left six months ago.
Grief has softened him. I’ve felt his kindness, I’ve let him take care of me.
I can love him if I give myself some time.
“Here, sit down.” He helps me onto the couch and kisses me some more, and when his hand slides up the inside of my thigh, I hold it steady to stop him from going any further.
“Greaser, I—”
“You don’t have to explain; baby steps.” He smiles at me.
“I’ve been waitin’ a long time for this…
We’ll take everything at your pace. But I am going to kiss you again.
” He smiles before cradling my face and kissing my lips.
A tear escapes my eye, and I don’t quite know what it's for. It’s not happy tears like the ones I cry sometimes when I’m around Rory.
It can’t be sadness because I like the promises Greaser is making me.
These tears feel empty; they spill for the loss of the man who I wanted so badly to be the one who made those promises.
I swallow them back, forcing myself to focus on what I do have.
A man prepared to love me and help me raise my child.
A man who wants to make me happy.
If Vike felt anything for me, he’s had plenty of time and opportunities to let me know. I just have to face the fact that to him, I’m only ever gonna be Saul's little sister.
Face it and hope that what I did today doesn’t push him too far away; that we can settle our differences and still be friends, because I don’t think I could bear a life without him in it.