Chapter 33 #2
“Shit, Alicia, you scared the crap outta me.” He quickly puts the photograph he’s looking at back in his wallet. “Ya need something, did she wake up?” he asks, standing up and trying to discreetly wipe his eyes.
“No, she’s fast asleep. I got up to use the bathroom and saw you weren’t there.” I slowly step toward him and take his hand. “You’re sad?”
“No, I…I couldn’t be happier,” he assures me. “That’s the fuckin’ problem.”
“Problem?” I start to worry. Vike holds so much in; he was noticeably sad when I came in. How is being this happy a problem for him?
“Ignore me, I’m being silly. Go back to bed.” He kisses my forehead and smiles.
“No, Vike, we aren’t doing this…We aren’t keeping secrets from each other. I need to know what happened in your past.”
“You don’t.” He shakes his head.
“Vike, this isn’t fair. You know everything about me, all my secrets. I’m not going to think any differently of you. I love you.”
“So did they.” He takes the photo out of his wallet and hands it to me.
“Is this your family?” I ask after studying it. There’s no denying that Vike looks like the man who has his arms wrapped around a pretty, blonde-haired woman.
“I was fourteen when Mia was born. It was a shock to my parents. I don’t think she was planned, but she was a firecracker.” He rubs the back of his neck, the way he always does when he feels guilty or uncomfortable.
“Is this you?” I point to the teenage boy who’s holding the cute little girl on his lap.
“Mom had a family portrait done before I left for college. I was smart; I’d gotten a scholarship. They were so fuckin’ proud of me.” I see the sadness in his eyes multiply.
“As they should be. I always knew you were smart.” I look down at the perfect family photo and wonder what went wrong for them.
“Mia looked up to me; her face would light up every time I walked into a room. I used to have to call her every night after I left for college.”
“That’s adorable.” I smile, taking a seat, when I start feeling sore again.
“Do you still stay in touch?” I don’t recall Vike ever mentioning having a sister.
“She’s dead, just like they are, and it’s all my fault.” He rips the photo from my hand and places it back in his wallet.
“Vike, I’m so sorry. I knew you lost your parents, but a sister too? That must have been awful. How old were you?”
“I was nineteen; first year of college. Yeah, I was smart, but I was also fuckin’ na?ve.”
I can feel us getting somewhere when he takes the seat beside me.
“Vike?” I take his hand in mine again and notice how it’s shaking.
“I got involved with the wrong crowd, started doing some drug running. At first, it was nothing too serious, just a little dope around campus, but then it got bigger. It got outta hand. My friends were asking for favors, taking hits, and promising to pay me next time. They ran up a debt with me, which meant I ran up a debt with Lawrence.”
“And Lawrence is?”
“The guy who was in charge. His son was the first friend I made at college. I knew he was dangerous when I got involved, but I never could stay outta trouble.”
“So what happened?”
“I got into deep. All those favors I did; people never did pay back. Their debt becomes my debt. I was working more and more for him, trying to get him paid back; then one night, he called. He told me his son, Trent, had gotten into trouble and that he needed me to pick him up. I’d been drinking; I should never have gotten behind the wheel of that car, but I was scared. I had to do what Lawrence told me to.”
“So you picked him up?”
“He was at a party; he’d gotten into a fight, and the cops were on their way.
I met him a few blocks away, and when he got in the car, he was even more wasted than I was,” Vike explains.
“I stayed behind the wheel. I drove us home, but we never made it. I lost control of the car, crashed into a ravine, and I tried to get Trent outta the car. I tried so fuckin’ hard.
He was non-responsive. He didn’t look like he was breathing, and I had to bail before the thing blew up. ”
“Shit, Vike.” I comfort him as best I can.
“You can imagine how Lawrence reacted. He’d lost his son; he blamed me for everything. He wanted his money. He wanted vengeance. I thought he was gonna kill me. The only thing I could think to do was go home, grovel to my dad, and beg him for help.”
“And did he help?”
“I never got the chance to ask him,” Vike whispers. “Everyone said that Lawrence didn’t take any shit. I should have listened. I should have stopped trying to be everyone’s fuckin’ buddy. I shouldn’t have driven that car—”
“Vike, what happened?” I grip his hands tighter.
“Police called it a home invasion, said the intruders got disturbed and reacted. But they were all in their beds; they were shot in their fuckin’ beds, Alicia.” He shakes his head.
“You think it was Lawrence?”
“I know it was fuckin’ Lawrence,” he answers, drawing air through his nostrils.
“Three months later, when I returned to college, that cunt had someone put Mia’s favorite stuffie in my locker.
When the police were doin’ their investigation, that was the only thing I noticed that was missing; Dad had a safe with almost ten thousand dollars inside it.
It was way more than what I owed Lawrence, but it was all still there.
He killed them to teach me a lesson. He stole a little girl’s life because of me.
” Vikes’ eyes swell with tears, and it breaks my heart.
“You can’t blame yours—”
“Alicia, I only have myself to blame. I knew the guy was bad; enough people warned me about him.”
“You could never have predicted he’d hurt your family. That’s just pure evil. You were just a kid, yourself.”
“So now you know. I had a family, I loved them, they loved me, and they’re not here because of my stupid mistakes.
All the times I wanted to tell you how I felt, their faces just kept haunting me.
I had to identify them at the mortuary; I had to see for myself what I’d caused.
They died because I loved them, because Lawrence wanted to hurt me in the worst way possible.
I promised myself I’d never burden anyone with my love again. ” He drops his head.
“Well, I’m glad you did.” I climb onto his lap so I can be closer to him. “You made a mistake, but you don’t deserve a life without love. The person to blame for the death of your family is Lawrence.”
“And he paid for it. I joined the club for my own protection. I bided my time. I watched Lawrence’s movements, and the first opportunity I got, I killed him,” he admits, narrowing his eyes and looking furious.
“Then you can leave all this in the past; remember your family the way they’d want to be remembered. Vike, after all we’ve been through, we deserve this happiness. Take your own advice, let yourself be happy.”
“Four innocent people died because of me.” He doesn’t look convinced. “You think I deserve all this?”
“Yes, I think we deserve it. Do you think your family would want you to suffer? Please, Vike, please don’t take all this back; not when we’ve come so far.”
“You think I wanna take it back?” He looks puzzled. “Alicia, I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to. Which is why I feel so damn guilty for it. I’m here, I’m yours…always.” He kisses me softly.
“Then come back to bed.” I stand up and smile.
“Let’s not let our pasts define our futures, not when we have so much to look forward to.
” Vike nods his head as he stands up and slides his hand into mine again.
I lead him into our bedroom, and we both stand over our little girl’s Moses basket, watching her sleep so soundly.
“I think I have a name for her.” I smile as Vike wraps his arm around my waist. “Would you mind if I called her Mia?” I look up at him and see more tears in her eyes.
“I think she would have liked that.” He kisses my cheek.