Chapter 6 OLIVIA #2
"You're right. I'm sorry." He plasters on a false smile, because I know I kneed him hard. "At least I know my girl knows how to handle her own shit." He chuckles.
I'm not sure why I do it, but I look behind me in the direction of the girl that he was chatting with earlier and see that she's now talking with a group of her friends, whispering in each other's ears while looking our way.
“I’m not your girl anymore, Jen. You can’t do stuff like that.” I look at him but with caution because I’m fully aware that people are looking at me and I’m pissed that he thinks it’s okay to put us on display like this.
"You know I was just having a conversation with her, right Liv?
" He pulls me in gently and whispers into my hair. I try to avoid the cringe I feel coming on as he does so, knowing that he's had a little bit to drink but he needs to stop treating me as if we’re together. I’ve been lenient about it because we dated for so long and the breakup is fresh, but enough is enough.
"That doesn’t bother me," I say, pulling away from him.
A despondent look falls on his face and part of me wants to feel for him. I’m sure he’s hoping that I do care and that we’ll get back together, but that’s never going to happen.
Jensen leans in as if he’s going to pull me closer to him once more, but then he catches his movements and stops.
I know he's always been there for me, and he’s never required more out of me than what I’ve given him. But despite all of that, he’s not who I need right now.
"Ay yo, Jen! Ready for the lanterns?" I look over to see Banks waving over at him from a group of girls and I’m grateful he tore Jensen’s attention away, saving me.
Banks looks at me and smiles. Something I can’t say he’s ever done before. At least not to me. But I return the smile, grateful that maybe he recognizes I need to put some space between Jensen and I.
"Yeah, man. Hey, everyone!" Jensen shouts over the top of my head as everyone quiets down. "Start heading to the paper lantern landing." He spins his finger in the air to mimic a winding tornado, signaling them to flock elsewhere.
Everyone sets off in hoots and hollers as they start parading out of the area and through the trees.
Jensen looks at me, hope painting his eyes, like he’s barely mourning the loss of me and our relationship. But I break eye contact and he dips his head before turning to leave.
"Wait up!" I hear Alli shout from behind me as I follow the rest of the crowd down the path.
It takes a few seconds for her to catch up, but when she does, I can already hear the lecture in her tone.
"Girl, you need to set some ground rules because it didn’t really like you two were broken up back there."
A few people run past us, cheering and hollering as they do.
I know she’s not wrong, which is why my frustration with him continues to grow.
It’s not because of me that people might think that.
I don’t know how I can make it any clearer to him.
Though, I do realize that I might be allowing just a slight exception because I feel bad.
But truthfully, I don’t really care what anyone thinks about me.
When I don’t answer Alli, she reaches her hand out to my shoulder, holding me as we walk side by side.
"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
"I know.” I smile at her, not wanting to ice her out entirely.
It’s not her fault I’m on edge. Or maybe it is.
Maybe she’s the one who convinced Jensen to get me up here.
But I won’t press her on it, because I know she probably needs me this weekend—being her first time and all—and it’s the least I can do for her.
Besides, I’m here because I want to be. Because I need to be.
No other words are spoken between us as we close in on the small clearing where all of the others seem to gather. The frigid wind bites at my exposed skin, causing me to shiver and that's when I notice that I left my jacket by the fire pit.
"Shit, my jacket. Mind saving me a lantern?" I ask Alli and she nods her head in happy agreement before I take off.
I head back down the path, keeping my eyes turned down at my feet as I walk past the rest of those who are ambling toward the lanterns.
When the last of them pass by, I finally look up to make sure I'm walking the right direction but honestly, it's too dark to tell.
The sound of laughter fades behind me the further I get, and I wrap my arms around my body, trying to keep out the bitter cold air that teases my skin.
My heart thuds against its cage; my gut telling me that I'm not actually alone as I make my way back to where the fire was.
I hear a rustle of leaves above me causing a dusting of snow to fall from the trees and what sounds like faint footsteps crunching through the leaves and fallen branches can be heard from somewhere beside me.
I stop, feeling like I'm being watched. Or stalked. That thought stirs something dark in my core.
“Now is not the time,” I tell the unwanted but undeniable ache that courses through me, reminding me that I am deranged for the way my body is reacting right now.
"Hello?" I call out, not wanting to be too loud in case I disturb something truly dangerous.
I look behind me and notice that I no longer have a visual of the crowd of people on the other side of the path; I'm caught in the middle between the trees.
The silence grows deafeningly sinister, and the shadows of the nightfall are almost terrifying enough to set me straight.
I can't even make out the moon or the stars as the tips of the trees stretch into the vastness of the dark sky.
When I get no response to my call, I turn my head to each side of me before picking up my pace in the direction back to the smoldering bonfire. The smell of burnt wood is strong against the cold October air—I love the smell of smoke—but a chill creeps up my arms and I naturally heed its warning.
I spot my jacket laying over the log I was seated on, so I rush for it and I frantically slip it on.
Once situated, I pat the pockets to make sure my jewelry is still there and when I feel the outlines of them, I decide to take them out and slip the rings onto my fingers.
I take a calming breath, trying to bring down my heart rate as the cold metal of the rings becomes the center of my composure, almost like a relief.
But when I hear what I think is the leftover crackle from the fire, I freeze.
"Jensen?" I call out, looking around to find the source of the sound. But I’m greeted with nothing but darkness. "This isn't funny!" I declare sternly, hoping that he had learned his lesson to not sneak up on me again, but he doesn't answer.
No one does.
I look around, trying my best to not make any additional noises, hoping that I might be able to spot someone or something lurking in the shadows, but there's no one there.
I turn around to leave but before I can complete a full one-eighty, another small sound presents itself and that's when I see it out of the corner of my eye…
The teal glow.
His mask.
It's almost impossible to spot in the dark, but I see it.
He's peering out at me from behind a tree in the distance—far enough to where I can't see anything other than the faded glow orbing around what I know to be his face.
I take a few steps forward on instinct, finally able to make out the distinct crosshatches over his eyes accompanied by the illuminating wiring over where his mouth is.
I know he knows I can see him. A chill slips up my spine but somehow heat still courses through my veins.
Why is he here? Why is he hiding from me? What does he want?
I stand still, challenging him with my stare.
My heart pounds, and blood rushes between my ears.
He's here, but he shouldn't be. I don’t want him to be.
And even though I should be terrified, I'm not.
The quite opposite, honestly. I feel tingles spread out over my skin and despite feeling the heat that's still radiating from the fire in front of me, a shiver breaks out over my arms.
I don't move or dare speak a word. I just watch him the same way he's watching me, and soon, one of us will have to budge.
But suddenly, something grabs at me from behind and a shriek is forced from my throat.
I fight against the hold only to hear laughter shoot out from behind me, and whatever is grabbing onto me suddenly lets me go.
I attempt to catch my breath—feeling the burn in my lungs from screaming in the cold air—while turning to look up and see…
"Jensen? What the fuck?!" I yell at him, smacking at his upper arms in fury. He bends over in a fit of laughter. "Are you seriously that dense?" I shout.
"It was just a joke, babe, calm down," he replies to me while trying to catch his own breath from laughing. And he really is fucking laughing.
"Not fucking funny! And I am not your fucking babe" I seethe, causing him to change his annoyingly playful expression to one with a little more worry and concern.
"Jesus, okay, Liv. My bad." The last two words come out of his mouth in what sounds a lot like sarcasm while he holds his hands up in mock surrender.
My pulse is skyrocketing because all I want to do is to beat the living shit out of him. How can he think this is funny? Did he not hear me the first time?
I pause, remembering what I'd seen just moments before, but when I look back out into the distance, he's gone, and I don't miss the way I wish he was still watching.
But I turn my attention back to Jen, not bothering to spare him the anger that I feel right now.
"What part of don't sneak up on people did you not fucking hear the first time? What is wrong with you?" I can't even stand to look at him as I step over the log angrily to start marching back down the path, not even concerned if I'm going the right way or not. I need to get away from him.
"I'm sorry, Liv. It was only meant to-"