Chapter 19
Kelly
I’m barely holding it together for the last half hour of my shift. Lying to Alexei about what’s wrong feels terrible, but what was I supposed to say? The seasonal depression is kicking my ass, and this morning I found more fines in my mailbox.
Paying them means David wins, right? Not that I have the money. I gave everything to my father before I finally cut him off. But even if I could pay, it would feel like handing David exactly what he wants …
My mom always said I was too stubborn to ask anyone for help, and she was right. Now I’m drowning, and I miss her desperately.
I shove on my shoes from my locker and grab my coat, heading for the back door.
“Are you leaving without saying goodbye?”
I roll my eyes. “I literally gave you a hug an hour ago, Camilla.”
“I know, but you’ve been so busy lately and barely had time for me.” She coughs into her hand. “Busy with dick.”
“Shut up.” I glance around instinctively because I told her no one can know about Alexei.
I didn’t say who he actually was or anything, just that he’s very private.
She asked way too many questions about the accent, the tattoos, why he looks like he walked straight out of a prison yard.
She’s not buying the bookkeeping bullshit.
“Is he good to you though? That’s all I really care about.”
I nod.
“Oh my god … that smile on your face right now.”
“Stop, you idiot.” I shove her shoulder playfully.
“You free tonight? I could throw your bike in my car, and we could grab something to eat, chill at my place?”
I think it over. I really miss spending time with her. “Please, yes. And let’s get wine.”
“I’m still not over that buzz cut guy from the club. He was so hot, Kelly. You should’ve seen his blue eyes and all those tattoos. And …” She pauses, frowning. “He also had a Russian accent now that I think about it.”
It all clicks into place.
Ozero is owned by Alexei’s family, and he probably used one of his brothers to distract Camilla while he took me upstairs to interrogate me. Just tossed a hot Russian man at her like a grenade and hoped she’d be distracted enough.
“You know what, Alexei was probably right. You should stay away from that guy because he’s probably a serial killer,” I say with the fakest smile I can manage.
She narrows her eyes.
“Come on, let’s go get drunk.” I grab her arm and pull her into a tight hug, needing the comfort of my best friend right now.
I pull out my phone to let Alexei know I won’t be home until later.
Me:
Going to dinner with Camilla tonight, probably won’t be home until late
Alexei:
Fine. Working late anyway. Lots of filing to catch up on.
Me:
Please don’t work too hard at your very normal office job
Alexei:
Funny.
Me:
I’m being serious. Don’t file too many documents.
Alexei:
I’ll try to restrain myself.
Me:
Thank you… And be safe please. I’ll text you when I’m heading home
Alexei:
Have fun zaychik.
I slip my phone back into my pocket, wondering how he didn’t tell me not to go. Didn’t get angry or possessive. Just told me to have fun.
My ex would’ve lost his mind over this. Would’ve guilt-tripped me into canceling, shown up at the restaurant to “check on me,” made having friends feel like a betrayal.
Alexei just let me go. Wants me out with Camilla. Wants me happy.
I don’t know what to do with that. This terrifying man who breaks into my apartment and kills people for a living is giving me more freedom than the cop I dated for two years.
That shouldn’t make sense. But here we are.
I give Camilla a last hug before walking out of her apartment.
I called an Uber so I don’t have to walk home.
Camilla’s keeping my bike for me since there’s no way I’m biking home with this wine buzz.
I’d probably fall over and then Alexei would take my bike and hide it like I’m a child who can’t be trusted with wheels.
“See you. Go have fun with your hot Russian,” she says, kissing my chin.
“Have a good weekend.”
She smiles and closes the door while I head for the elevator. It’s pitch-black outside with that cold, bone-deep November darkness that makes everything feel hostile. I just want to crawl into bed with my boyfriend.
Wait. We never actually said what we are, but I think we’re together? He basically lives at my apartment when he’s not working, and we don’t really leave much.
I push the door open and the cold air hits like a slap. Glancing around, I groan when I see my Uber’s running late. I pull out my phone to check the app. This city and the constant traffic jams.
A car pulls up in front of me.
That’s not the car I booked.
I take a step back, then another.
The driver door opens, and a man steps out.
“Hello, Kelly. Get in the car.”
The buzz evaporates instantly, replaced by ice-cold terror. My hands shake, and I can feel my breathing getting shallow because this is exactly how it always started with him, the calm voice right before everything exploded.
“How did you find me, David?” My voice is smaller—that automatic response to make myself less threatening, less likely to set him off. “If you come near me, I swear to god, I’ll scream.”
He snorts. “Always so dramatic.” He takes a step forward, then another—unsteady. I back up fast, trying to pivot toward the door before he reaches me.
I don’t make it to the door before he grabs my wrists and spins me around, pressing me against the cold metal. His grip is too tight, fingers digging into bone.
“I just want to talk,” he says, voice deceptively calm. “Stop being difficult and listen to me.”
His breath hits my face, hot and wet and sour with whiskey. I gag. The alcohol fumes twist my stomach. I have to breathe through my mouth to keep from throwing up.
When he drank, everything got worse—his moods, his unpredictability, the things he’d say.
“Okay.” I slip into that voice, the one I always used when I had to make it stop. “Okay. If you let me go, I’ll listen.”
He hesitates, studying my face. “You promise?”
“Yeah. I promise.”
His grip loosens slightly, and I turn around to face him. His face is flushed with bloodshot eyes and pupils so huge they’ve swallowed most of the blue. He’s high on something that makes his jaw twitch and his mouth stay slack. I don’t know how he even drove here without killing someone.
“I miss you, Kelly.” His voice cracks, then slurs. “I want you back. I need you.”
I would rather die. The thought hits me like a punch. I’d actually die than go back to this life. Back to walking on eggshells, back to making myself smaller, back to being afraid of every sound in the night.
“You know I can’t do that, David.”
His face twists into something ugly. “You left without giving me a chance to fix things.”
“You can’t fix this. You hurt me too many times.”
“Hurt you? I loved you! I gave you everything and you threw it all away.”
I try to step sideways, but he blocks me with his arm. “David, please. Just go home.”
“You’re mine. You don’t get to just walk away from me.”
“There is no us anymore.”
He grabs my shoulders and pushes me back against the door. “Nobody else is going to want you. You’re too much work, too broken. But I love you anyway. You need me. You’ve always needed me. You’re going to get in that car with me right now.”
“No.” The word slips out before I can stop it. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
His face goes completely blank for a second, then twists with rage. “What did you say?”
“I said no.” My voice is shaking, but I force myself to meet his eyes. “I’m not getting in that car.”
“You don’t get to tell me no!” He grabs me by the shirt and yanks me up, then throws me down hard.
I hit the concrete, my head cracking against the pavement. Everything goes white, then black around the edges. Pain explodes through my skull and radiates down my neck.
“Look what you made me do! I didn’t want to hurt you, but you never fucking listen!”
My vision swims. The world tilts sideways, and I can’t focus on anything.
Is this it? Is this where it finally goes too far?
All those nights I lay awake wondering if this moment would come, if he’d snap completely because I finally left him.
I always thought I’d fight harder, that I’d be braver when it mattered.
But I’m just lying here like a broken thing, just like always.
Alexei was teaching me how to feel safe again, how to believe someone could actually protect me instead of hurt me. I wish he was here right now. He’d make David pay for every single thing he’s done. But he can’t be everywhere, can’t shield me from everything, even though I know he’d try.
“I gave you everything. A home, love, protection. And you threw it all away.”
I try to say something, but the words won’t come. Everything feels distant and muffled.
A whimper escapes my throat. I hate that sound. Hate how small it makes me feel. Tears blur my vision as the old fear claws its way up my chest.
Voices blur around me, getting closer.
“Hey! What are you doing!”
Fast footsteps, David cursing, then tires screeching as he speeds off into the night.
Someone drops beside me with a hand hovering near my face.
“You all right, man? I saw what he did. I called an ambulance, okay? Just hold on.”