Chapter 20
Alexei
Kelly never came home last night.
Not at midnight. Not at two. Not at four. He’s still not here.
I pace his tiny living room, rubbing my hands through my hair with my chest tight and my head completely fucked.
I’ve looked everywhere for him. I broke into Camilla’s building around six in the morning.
Found her passed out on her couch, alone, empty wine bottles everywhere.
Kelly’s jacket was there, so he’d definitely been there, but he was gone.
If Kelly left her place and never made it home, someone grabbed him. He never even sent the text saying he was heading home like he promised.
I even drove by his clinic. There was some other guy working the night shift who might not ever be coming back to work again. He didn’t have the answers I needed.
Something’s wrong and I can feel it, this slow sick burn in my chest that won’t go away.
I knew I shouldn’t have taken him out to that restaurant. I fucking knew it.
I did it anyway. I wanted it, wanted him to feel normal for five minutes. And now someone saw us and they took him from me.
I called Mikhail and Daniil out of pure desperation, told them to meet me here. I trust them because they wouldn’t care about this the way our father would. They’d keep it secret and help me fix it.
A knock on the door and I’m already moving, yanking it open.
“About time. Get in here,” I snap.
They glance at each other, then walk inside. Daniil’s carrying his laptop bag. Both of them look around the tiny space.
Mikhail clears his throat. “Whose place is this? What happened?”
I wipe both hands over my face, trying to calm down but failing completely.
“It’s my boyfriend’s place.”
Both of them open their mouths, then close them, then just stare at me like I grew a second head.
“Very funny. Now whose place is this really?” Mikhail repeats.
I clench my jaw and start pacing again.
Daniil tucks on Mikhail’s sleeve and shakes his head.
“Do you know something I don’t, Danya?” Mikhail asks.
I stop mid-step and look at Daniil. He’s already watching me with that expression that says he’s figured something out. There’s something bordering on apology in his eyes.
Of course he put it together. I’ve basically been using him like a personal data stalker since I met Kelly.
“You have a boyfriend?” Mikhail asks, his voice sharp with disbelief. “You’re …” He clears his throat. “What the fuck.”
I point my finger at him. “If you say anything I don’t like, I swear to God, I—”
He interrupts me, “Fuck. Relax. Just processing this. I mean, I’ve never seen you with anyone ever, so I figured no one liked you because you’re the biggest asshole on the planet besides Yulian.”
I click my tongue and lunge for him, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. “Are you two going to help me or not?”
Mikhail rolls his eyes. “Only if you let go of my shirt before I drop you, motherfucker. And is that a rabbit over there?”
I shove him back, breathing hard.
“Yes, that’s a fucking rabbit, and no you can’t pet her, bitch.” I point a finger at him.
“Can you please just explain what’s happening because I’m confused as hell. I just learned my brother has a boyfriend. Are you insane, by the way? Do you remember what happened to our mother’s brother?”
“Don’t mention him,” I snap. “I need help. He didn’t come home last night and something’s wrong. I’ve been calling him and there’s nothing. I think someone might’ve taken him.”
I turn to Daniil, desperate. “Can you do your thing and find something online? I can’t think straight.”
Nodding, he walks over to the corner and sits on the floor, opening his laptop immediately.
“Wait, how does Danya know you have a boyfriend? How does he even know his name? Can someone explain this to me?”
“He figured it out on his own because I’ve been asking him for help trying to make sense of this situation. Something is happening to Kelly, someone is hurting him, and he’s protecting them. It’s driving me fucking insane,” I say, pointing at the side of my temple.
“His name is Kelly? Isn’t that a girl’s name?”
“I’m going to stab you in the neck, then enjoy watching you die.”
He lifts his hands up in the air. “Fuck, will you calm down? Hats off to Kelly for putting up with your cranky, murder-happy ass, you drama queen.”
I open my mouth to snap back, but Daniil carries his laptop over, setting it in front of us. He taps the screen where it shows Brookvale Medical Center.
My body kicks into overdrive, and I bolt to the door, running down the stairs before my brain catches up.
“Wait,” Mikhail shouts behind me.
I hear them scrambling after me, their footsteps heavy on the stairs, but I’m already two flights down and moving faster than I’ve ever moved in my life.
I couldn’t think the entire ride here because my head was completely useless. My stomach hasn’t stopped turning since I found out where he is. I’m going to be sick.
Daniil couldn’t find any details, nothing about what happened, no condition update and no police report. So now I’m bracing for the absolute worst.
I’m out of the car before Mikhail even parks it and sprint across the parking lot. Heading straight for the sliding doors of the hospital. Everyone in the lobby turns to look at me, but I don’t give a fuck. I walk past the line of people waiting to the front desk and slap my hand on the counter.
“Kelly Francis Mackey. What room?”
The woman—probably in her mid-fifties—looks up at me slowly. “There’s a line, sir. You can’t just cut in front of everyone. And only family can visit patients. Are you family?”
“Da, I’m his family. And if you don’t tell me right fucking now, lady, I—”
I move my hand toward my pocket.
“Alexei,” Mikhail says sharply, grabbing my wrist and yanking it back before I can pull the knife. “He’s just exhausted. It’s been a long night. Could you please just give us the room number so we can get him out of here before this becomes a bigger scene?”
She sighs, glares at both of us, then types something into her computer. She gives us a room number and points down the hallway.
I’m already running before she finishes talking.
I reach the door and yank it open, and my vision goes red.
Kelly’s in the bed, his head wrapped in white bandages soaked through just enough to show red bleeding into the gauze. I go straight to his bedside and grab his hand. It’s warm. He’s breathing, but completely unconscious. I lift my other hand and touch his chin, careful and gentle.
“Kelly.”
Nothing. He’s completely out cold.
I’m going to find whoever put their hands on him, and I’m going to destroy them.
Not kill them. Destroy them. Break every finger, every rib.
Make them watch while I work. They’ll beg me to end it, and I won’t—not for hours, not until they understand that touching him was the last mistake they’ll ever make.
“Hey, you can’t be in here.”
A nurse appears in the doorway, glancing between the three of us.
“We’re his family,” Mikhail says.
She scoffs. “Yeah, sure. Now get out before I call security.”
I let go of Kelly’s hand and move toward her, and she flinches.
Mikhail steps in front of me and throws out his arm to block my path. “Miss, can you just tell us what happened before he goes full murder-suicide and this whole thing becomes a mess?”
“I can’t tell you anything. It’s confidential. And if you don’t leave right now, I’m calling security.”
I open my mouth, about to tell her exactly where she can shove her fucking policy.
“Stop,” Kelly croaks.
I whip my head around.
The nurse steps forward. “Do you know these men?”
“Yes, I know them,” Kelly mumbles. “Don’t call anyone.”
She sighs and walks out, closing the door.
I turn to Mikhail and Daniil. “Get out. I need to talk to him alone. Wait in the lobby.”
Mikhail rolls his eyes and rubs his head. “Fine. Come on, Danya.” He grabs Daniil by the shoulders and steers him toward the door.
The door shuts, and I turn back to Kelly.
“Tell me what happened. Right now. I am not doing this thing again when you say you are fine and nothing is wrong. I can’t take this anymore.”
A tear slips down his cheek, and he wipes it away.
“I’m sorry, Alexei.”
His voice cracks; and that sound punches straight through my chest.
I sit on the edge of the bed and wrap my arms around him carefully, avoiding the bandage, and kiss his cheek gently.
“Don’t say sorry. You do not have anything to be sorry for. Just tell me what happened.”
He nods, arms locking around me like he is scared I will pull away.
“Please don’t be mad at me. I … I …” He stops. “My head hurts so bad.”
I tighten my hold around him, careful of not hurting him.
“I have a concussion. They kept me overnight for observation. They took my phone and said I’m not allowed to look at screens yet. I don’t have your number memorized, so I couldn’t call you. I tried calling Camilla, but she didn’t answer.”
My heart splits open. He was here all night. Alone. Scared. In pain, without me to protect him.
I kiss his chin. It is wet from his tears, and I taste salt.
“I need you to promise me something,” he whispers.
I close my eyes and breathe out slowly. Nod.
“I don’t want you to kill anyone for me. And if you do, I don’t want to know about it.”
I nod again and kiss his forehead.
Whoever hurt him is already dead. Has been since the moment I suspected someone was harming him. Physically. He just does not want to carry the weight of knowing.
He breathes out shakily. “Okay, I …” He clears his throat. “My ex. He used to beat me.”
Then he tells me everything.
All the things that piece of shit did to him. Bottles thrown at him. Hitting him. Controlling who he could see, isolating him from friends. Breaking his arm. The harassment that followed when Kelly finally left. The restraining order that got dropped because his ex knew the judge.
Because his ex is a cop.
His partner helped him. Targeted Kelly together. Gave him so many parking tickets Kelly had to sell his car. Filed false reports. Harassment claims. Made his life hell for months.
I clench my fists. Feel my rage building in my chest like fire. Every word Kelly says makes it worse.
I am going to tear those motherfuckers apart.
“They ran me off the road. Drove their squad car at me when I was biking home. Then yesterday, he showed up at Camilla’s building.
” His chin shakes. “I’m sorry, Alexei. I didn’t want to tell you.
I was ashamed. I thought you’d think less of me.
I lied about everything. I didn’t want you to see me like this. I didn’t want to be weak. But I am.”
I grab his shoulders. Just firm enough that he has to look directly at me.
“Kelly, you are not weak. Every mark he left on you is proof you survived him. Every scar is evidence of your strength, not his power. You think you’re broken? You’re not. You chose to keep going when it would have been easier to give up. That’s not weakness—that’s fucking heroic.”
His eyes stay locked on mine, wet and exhausted and completely wrecked.
“The one who did this to you? He is the weak one. Not you. Never you.”
A broken sob rips from his chest, then another. He can’t stop. Months of holding himself together, months of pretending he’s fine, and it all comes pouring out.
“I am so fucking sorry I missed this.”
“It’s not your fault,” he mumbles against my chest between sobs. “I kept it from you.”
“Please don’t think you are weak. You are not, zaychik. I would never think less of you. I hope you know that.” I pause, feeling my throat tighten. “In my eyes, you are the strongest person I know. And I hope you know I would never lay my hands on you. Ever.”
He nods against me, small and quiet. We sit like that for a while. I hold him tight and try not to fall apart.
I can’t believe I missed this.
And he is a cop. Which makes everything infinitely worse.
My father works with the police. We have a deal with the commissioner. No touching cops unless we get permission from him. And even then, it is a process that takes time.
I can’t bring this to him. He will kill Kelly for being the problem that started it.
And I can’t live with that.
“Kelly, you can’t go to work for a while, alright? So can we stay at my place while you recover? I can’t let you be alone in that apartment.”
“But—”
“No. You need time off, and my house is the safest place you can be right now. We’ll have to sneak you past security, but after that, you can stay as long as you want.”
He sighs and rubs at his temple with a wince. “Can I bring Clover?”
I scoff. “I wasn’t going to just leave her. Who do you think I am?”
He shakes his head and gives me a tired little smile. “I think you’re the best boyfriend.”
The way he looks at me when he says that makes something tighten in my throat.
Fuck. I almost lost him. The thought keeps circling, digging deeper every time. I almost lost him before I could show him exactly what he meant to me, before I could make him understand that he’s mine and nothing will change that.
This demands patience and planning. I can’t just track his ex down and slowly peel the skin from his bones, much as the image satisfies. Kelly needs to be safe first. Protected. Then I can deal with the trash.
My eyes dart toward the door to make sure the nurse isn’t watching.
She looked at me like I was some sort of fucking dangerous animal earlier.
If she tries to separate us or says one more thing about security, then visiting violations are going to be the last thing she ever worries about because I will throw her out of the fucking window.
We’re on the fourth floor. Plenty high enough.
I kick off my shoes and carefully crawl into the hospital bed with him.
He shifts to make room, and I push my face into the crook of his neck and breathe him in.
That coconut-lime scent I’ve memorized, mixed with sterile hospital chemicals.
My arm wraps around him, and I pull him closer, needing to feel his heartbeat against my chest.
I would never look at him differently for what he went through. The fact that he was scared I might blame him makes something violent twist inside of me. It makes me want to find his ex tonight and start the real fun.
He needs to know he can make his own choices without me controlling everything. I’m glad he went to dinner with his friend. He should be able to see people, live normally, feel secure and free.
Even though every instinct I have is screaming to hide him somewhere safe where nothing can touch him.
Keep him protected from everyone except me.
The urge gets worse every day. Just grab him and never let him leave.
This constant war with my own nature around him is fucking me up, forcing me to choose between what I want and what’s right.
So I hold him carefully instead, memorizing the weight of him against me.