Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Violet
The kittens were settled back at the house after their vet appointment. I meandered down the grocery store aisle. The place hadn’t changed much from when I was younger. There’d been updates with the branding, but a grocery store was a grocery store. I had one choice unless I wanted to drive to Bismarck or Dickinson for more options.
I didn’t care. I didn’t need some gourmet, all-organic store. Maybe when I had my own place, I could have a garden.
My own place.
It wouldn’t be Evander’s home.
I’d read a lot into what had happened last week. Evander felt like an outcast. His family’s love was conditional. Willow seemed like such a sweet woman and doting mother, but when she’d been younger and outnumbered? It’d probably been hard to be vocal .
My parents were like Bruce and Willow on the outside. Warm and concerned about their kids. But my parents were our champions.
Then there was Grandma and her trust. If Dad had known, it would’ve caused a giant argument between them. Same for Aunt Linda. She was left to handle it all, and she had to sign off on whether each Duke marriage was real or not. Dad had to agree. No, Linda and Dad would’ve fought with Grandma. Our family would’ve been ripped apart.
Instead, we’d sort of banded together to figure this trust stuff out. I’d have to tell Aunt Linda that I would let my property go unless I found someone to marry and Evander moved out. I wasn’t going to be the one to displace him from somewhere that seemed to bring him peace, two new kittens and all.
Since he’d assured me that I could stay, I’d been looking for job openings. He’d been checking the mail each day, presumably searching for the paternity kit. It should arrive any day. We’d been roommates, speaking only when needed. I made my own meals; he made his. He worked outside all day; I went out to play with the cats and take a short walk. It’d been like a pleasant vacation.
No more kissing. He had returned to being distant but slightly less grumpy. I’d take it. I’d also take more kissing and what we’d done in the hotel room, but first things first. There was no written procedure for us, but I couldn’t jump to the final reaction without going through the steps. Unlike the work I did, I had no idea what to expect at the end.
I wheeled the cart down the candy and cookie aisle. The elk might’ve brought back a resurgence of morning sickness, but my sweet tooth was unaffected and screaming for Oreos.
I grabbed a pack of Double Stuf and then perused my other options.
“Oh my god. Violet?”
I glanced up. A woman a little shorter than me with chin-length wavy blond hair looked back. Excitement rose inside me. Daisy was Alder’s ex-wife, and before their divorce, she’d been one of my favorite people. Afterward, we’d lost touch. “Daisy? Hi.”
She wrapped her arms around me, and I hugged her back.
“How are you?” she asked.
“Good.” I would leave out being slightly queasy from being pregnant with a one-night stand’s baby—and oh, do you remember Evander Barron? It’s his . No, we would be keeping that down until the paternity results were back and my family was informed. All they knew was that I was job hunting in Coal Haven. “I’m no longer in California.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Are you moving here?” She looked up and down the aisle like she was afraid my brother would pop up.
“Maybe. I saw the refinery had a few openings.” I had applied.
She grinned. “That’s where I am.”
A thrill ran through me. Daisy was a medical technician, but she’d know enough of the standard lab policies and procedures and have a solid chemistry background to learn the rest. If chemists didn’t grow on trees, then a med tech could do the job. And if my ex-sister-in-law, who didn’t put up with bullshit, worked at the refinery, her insight would be valuable. “You’re not with the state lab anymore?”
Her gray eyes flashed. “Not after three epidemiologists gave my data to the CDC for a paper to be published in the New England Journal of Medicine and didn’t credit me as an author, only themselves.”
“Oh no. Did they really?” That was dirty. Insulting and just plain unprofessional.
“Yep.” Her lips went flat. “Epis act like we’re just the help. Anyway, that was just some of the BS I put up with. I don’t kiss enough ass to work for the state.”
I laughed. I’d always admired Daisy for her strong convictions. She didn’t put up with nonsense, and that had included my brother. He wouldn’t be the man he was today if Daisy hadn’t dumped him on his ass.
“Put in your application,” she said. “I’ll tell them all about how brilliant you are.”
“I already did, and I really appreciate it.” The excitement inside me grew. I’d put so much into my education, and while I’d been using it, I hadn’t worked in the field of chemistry that had really interested me. I hadn’t done a lot since finishing my master’s degree that really interested me. The chance to work in the career I set out for was within my grasp.
I should’ve never lost touch with Daisy.
“How’s your daughter?” A twinge of regret shadowed my mind, not for me, but for Daisy. Her daughter should’ve been my niece, but she’d gotten pregnant well after Alder. I’d heard she had a kid but never met her.
Fondness graced her smile. “Laila is full of attitude, and I can’t believe how fast she’s growing. How are you liking being back in Coal Haven?”
I fought the urge to tell her about my situation, to share a brief moment of understanding. I thought I’d be married and pregnant with Willis’s kid by now. Maybe even our second. Or third. Instead, I was having my first baby at thirty-five, and I only learned the dad’s full name a few days ago. Would Daisy know how I felt? Waylaid plans and all that.
“Honestly, it’s good to be back. I’m catching up on some reading.” Something that wasn’t a scientific paper or whatever would appease a social circle I hadn’t really been a part of. “I might start crocheting again too.” She wore a small diamond ring on her finger, but I couldn’t tell if it was a full wedding set. “How are things with you?”
“Good, good,” she said, her voice pitching up. “Wedding’s planned for next summer.”
“Congratulations.”
From the speed she looked away, I wasn’t sure I’d said the right thing.
“Thank you. It’s stressful. Lots of planning.”
“Big wedding?”
“No.” She smiled brightly. “Just a wedding in general. Stressful.”
I’d take her word for it. She probably didn’t get a house just because she was getting married. She hadn’t when she and Alder had married either. They’d had a small ceremony by the lake, then had a big bonfire at Grandma’s old place after. Alder had worked in the oil fields while Daisy went to school in Bismarck. They hadn’t had time for a big wedding.
“Well.” She hooked her hands on the purse strap she wore bandolier style. “I need to get Jason his Dr Pepper. He gets cranky without it. Nice seeing you.”
“Nice to see you again. I hope we’re not strangers. ”
She started walking away and then turned. “Where are you staying?” She snapped her fingers. “With Lily? I heard she moved into your grandma’s old place.”
“No.” Evander and I were pretending for his parents, and the news hadn’t trickled back to my family yet, but it would. Bruce might not want to rock the boat with Evander more than he had. But Daisy had kept her distance from the Dukes since she divorced Alder. She’d needed a clean break, and we’d respected her wishes. Still, I wasn’t rushing to keep up the pretense. “I’m staying with a friend outside of town.”
If she read into what I said, she didn’t show it. “Maybe I’ll see you around. Maybe for an interview.” She disappeared around the aisle.
Maybe she would see me around. Maybe it would be with Evander, and perhaps even when I could say he and I were the real thing.
Evander
Goddamn pumpkins. I’d planted them out of spite toward my dad. He said I couldn’t plant this much acreage without any major equipment. I had rented what I’d needed to work up the ground and plant the seeds.
Now I was in the patch every damn day, watching my leafy green plants grow. Getting a jolt of excitement every time I found a round little ball of fruit.
I’d overshot the amount I needed. There was no way Isla was going to roast this many pumpkins for her beer. But it was midseason. Anything could happen. Hail. Wind. Tornado.
Anxiety crawled up my spine. All I had were ten acres of unnecessary pumpkins. Isla’s brewery would survive without pumpkin beer in the fall. No one else was depending on my crop. But the stress of losing everything I’d worked for chewed through my stomach lining. Each place I’d been stationed, I had something to show for it. A new ribbon. A medal. A promotion. Something to display that I wasn’t an unruly kid who left home and didn’t come back when his parents needed him the most.
No wonder Dad had been a crab ass every year. I had chalked his attitude up to getting ordered around like a servant by his brother. Dad might own the land the farm and ranch operated on, but without those yields, he’d lose it all. Without income, he wouldn’t have been able to support a family on the property he owned.
I leaned against an old wooden fence post. None of this was mine, and yet I worried. I worried about letting my cousin down. She’d been the first to recognize me. The first to greet me. The quiet little girl I’d known had turned into an inquisitive woman who’d asked about me and my experiences. She didn’t look at me like I was the family disappointment. Like I was an outsider.
It was why I’d gone into Reservoir Barrel the night I had met Violet. Then Violet had flirted with me like I was a normal guy. She hadn’t looked into my crevices, wondering what she could take before she left me behind. She accepted what I offered and hadn’t asked for anything in return.
I pushed off the fence. Even now, with the paternity test sitting on the table, waiting for us to collect the samples and mail it off, she was in her own world. Tapping away at my laptop.
I scraped a hand over my scalp. The hot sun was beating down on my skin. I should be in the pickup, ready for her to hop in so we could go to the clinic. She’d get her blood drawn, and then I’d collect a cheek swab. From there, I’d hold the samples until we dropped them in the mail.
But my boots moved sluggishly.
A kitten popped out from the grass, batting at a bug. Flo. Right behind her was Poly. Violet joked that the names were short for polymer and fluorescent. A nod to her career.
In the house, the clicking of the keyboard filled the air. I washed my hands and walked into the kitchen. She was sitting with her back to me, paging through pictures of what looked like diagrams, headphones on.
Fruit filled the counter, a new dish towel I didn’t buy rested next to it, and a little vase of flowers was in the middle of the table. The kitchen carried the most presence of her, but the same happened in the rest of the house. Tiny bits of her that made the place different, more welcoming, were scattered everywhere. A sweater hung over the arm of the couch so the living room didn’t look so staged. Her robe was hooked on the back of the bathroom door.
She saw me and took her headphones off. “Are we ready?”
My chest grew tight. No. If this baby wasn’t mine, was that it? Violet was out of my life as soon as she got a job?
It doesn’t have to be that way.
What if I could have her? —
No. I wasn’t opposed to being a father figure to a kid that wasn’t mine. It was the lying I detested. The selfish use of another person. Yet there was nothing about Violet that screamed self-absorbed.
I nodded toward what looked like boxy molecules or something filling the screen. “Helluva application?”
She flashed a quick smile, but a flush crept up her cheeks. She tucked a few curls behind her ear. “No. I have an interview in a few days.”
She might have a job and be out of my hair before we even got the results.
Then what?
What if I asked her to stay? What if…
I hated what-ifs. Decisions were made, and I committed to them. Likewise, I walked away from those I didn’t give my word to.
“I’m…” She hugged herself like she was sheepish. “I’m looking at cat sofa patterns.” Her blush darkened.
“What’s a cat sofa?” I pulled a table chair out. We had time before we went to the clinic, and I was apparently interested in cat sofas.
“Uh…” She freed one hand from her solo hug and circled it in the air. “It’s crochet patterns for blocks that can be connected and stuffed.” She opened her laptop and spun it toward me. “Cat couch.”
A small sofa greeted me on the screen. An actual cat was perched on the one in the picture. “You can make that?”
“I think so. It’s been a while since I’ve been a hooker.” She grinned, but her blush got even brighter. “You know? Crochet hooks.”
Well, that was a relief. More power to her, but crocheting was safer. “Okay. What color are you going to make?”
“It’s silly.” She hastily closed the lid. Was she embarrassed?
“Why?”
“I just…it’s useless.” Her bottom lip puffed out like she was troubled.
Why would she be embarrassed about a hobby—Oh. “Vasectomy Willis?”
Her lips quirked. “That name?—”
“Is accurate. So let me get this straight. A guy who didn’t tell you he had a procedure to prevent kids when he knew you wanted kids says crocheting’s for dummies and you think he’s right?”
“He was…he’s…” She blew out a hard breath, then nodded. “He’s a pretentious dick. Anything that didn’t prove his high intelligence was beneath him. You know what? I’m ordering hooks and yarn when we get back.” She sat up and tapped her finger on the white paternity test box. “We’d better get going. I made my blood draw appointment for the afternoon, thinking that was when we’d be less likely to see anyone.”
Disappointment settled deep into my gut. Parading a pregnant Violet around resonated somewhere deep inside me. Hiding her didn’t.
“Let’s go,” I said roughly.
Once we were loaded into the car, she plastered her face to the window like usual.
“It’s so beautiful here,” she murmured.
Agreed. “I’ve lived in a lot of places, but there’s nothing like it.”
She smiled at me. “It’s a simple beauty, isn’t it? We don’t have mountains, but the sunsets?— ”
“Stunning.” I had perched on the front porch every night for a week, pondering life and watching the pink-and-purple sunset paint the sky.
“I missed those. Mom used to call us out of the house to look at them.” She laughed. “I’d get so irritated because I was in the middle of my homework.”
I could picture a studious Violet with her mouth set, getting pulled away from a science textbook.
The drive to the clinic didn’t take more than ten minutes. We actually chatted this time. More about the scenery and who used to live where or what business had changed to another since we’d grown up here.
After I parked, we collected my sample in the pickup. She started giggling while I swirled the swab in my mouth. I cocked an eyebrow as I twirled it, and she giggled harder. Then she read the directions out loud, and we packed it away.
“Okay. Blood draw time.”
The parking lot was quiet and only half filled. After she checked in, the receptionist told us to follow the signs to the lab.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and let Violet take the lead. Voices drifted down the hall until we reached a window. My stomach dropped to the tip of my boots.
Shit. Isla’s best friend since childhood stared back at me. Lyric was grown now, the same age as Violet, but with a wildly different aesthetic. The collar of a maroon scrub top peeked out of her lab coat, and her hair was bunched on top of her head in two buns and tinged in pink.
She blinked, recognition sparking in her eyes. “Oh, hey, Evander. Stetson said you were back.”
Stetson. Not Isla. Because Lyric was married to him. They had kids together. The little girl I used to know had a whole-ass family with my cousin. Just another sign that shit was different. “Hey, Lyric.”
Fuck me. Was she going to tell her husband I was here? Was she going to tell him all about the paternity test? He’d know the visitor I was playing off as nothing but my landlord had been in my bed instead?
Did I care?
Yes. News would reach Mom. Yet another letdown for her if the baby wasn’t mine and that I hadn’t told her first—or at all.
Violet stiffened next to me.
I handed Lyric the kit. Violet had obliged the insistence that I never had the thing out of my sight. Right now, she watched me with a wide gaze. Our secret was getting outed. Dammit. I’d been made a fool of before, but at least it hadn’t been in my hometown. Dad would have a field day with this, claiming that I was old enough to know better.
Surprise flitted through Lyric’s pale-blue eyes when she read the kit instructions. “Oh. Okay.” She looked up, and recognition lit her eyes like it had in Isla’s. “Violet? Violet Duke?”
Violet grabbed for my hand. Did she realize she’d done it? I gave her a reassuring squeeze.
“Hi, Lyric. It’s been a while. Nice to see you again.”
Lyric smiled, but her gaze jumped between me and the woman clinging to my hand. “Come on in and have a seat.”
My footsteps hit heavy as I followed Violet into a little squared-off room with a chair and blood draw supplies organized neatly on a small counter .
I could see into the rest of the lab, but I didn’t recognize the older woman who worked with her.
Violet sat and Lyric asked for her birthday, then jotted down some info.
“I feel like I should tell you,” Lyric said as she wrote, “that everything’s confidential. I won’t be going home to tell Stetson, and I won’t share this with Isla over drinks.”
Violet’s shoulders relaxed. “Thank you. We have some things to figure out first.”
“I totally get it.” Lyric started arranging the tube from the kit and a needle and bandages. She put her gloves on. “I was in the same chair for the same reason.”
“Seriously?” I asked before I thought better of it.
Lyric pulled a face. “Oh, yeah. You think Cameron and Naomi approved of me?” She straightened Violet’s arm and put the blue tourniquet on. “Our oldest, Marina, was definitely unplanned. You know, a one-night stand kind of thing.”
Violet’s lips quirked. “Right.”
“Stetson got to where he didn’t care if she was his or not, but his parents weren’t going to let it go, so I made sure we did the test. Here’s the poke.” She drew the blood in just a few seconds, then slapped a bandage on Violet and labeled the tube. “The rest is history. I even get along with Naomi now.” She scanned the directions and packed the tube.
“Everyone seems to get along with Cameron and Naomi now,” I said bitterly.
“Not completely, but they’ve changed.” Lyric handed the little box to me, all packaged and ready to go. “It’s taken a lot of time, and they’re still careful. They know there are hard feelings. They keep their distance, even around Liam and his family. ”
“Cameron talks to Liam?” How long was I gone? Hearing that my parents and the kid they blamed for all the world’s problems were close was disorienting enough.
She shrugged. “They’re cordial. Which was further than any of us thought they’d get. Stetson thinks Cameron might’ve even apologized. Not Naomi. But her apology is not trying to destroy someone’s life, so…”
I snorted. Lyric knew my family.
“Anyway,” she said. “Tell your parents I said hi.” She paused. “Or don’t. Just know I won’t mention it.”
“Thank you, Lyric,” Violet said as she got up.
“Anytime.” Lyric gave her a mischievous grin. “Don’t be a stranger either. Us outlaws have to stick together when it comes to the Barrons.”
I bristled. Her jab was meant to be humorous, but it was also truthful. Like she knew I was hanging on to the results of this test to be an asshole, just like I’d grown up seeing the men in my family behave.
I wasn’t like them. I’d left because I was different.
Yet when I thought about how I treated Violet after she showed up on my doorstep, I couldn’t find a difference.