Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Violet
I paced in front of my house. A few weeks had passed since Evander had fixed the garage door. Since then, we’ve seen each other a couple of times a week. Since his dad was home and recovering, Evander had been spending more time at his parents’ place, making sure his dad wasn’t stressed or attempting to get back out to work when he should be recovering.
He’d text me pictures of the barn cats around his parents’ place. More pictures of the kittens.
I had nothing to share with him. I worked and came home. Once, I had shot him a screenshot of a crocheted cat sweater, joking about how I was working on them next. He’d returned my message with a screenshot of a cat sweater with drumsticks. A chicken costume for a cat. I’d giggled all through work the next day.
Today was the ultrasound. My belly was a habitat for butterflies, acting like I was going on a hot date .
I had worked during the morning, trying to spare the paltry leave I had earned. My boss had let me adjust my hours. Moving had been the right decision. All my decisions had been good. They’d been mine.
Evander pulled up, a light dust coat on his pickup from all the gravel roads he’d been navigating back and forth from his place, his parents’, and town. He hadn’t complained. In fact, he seemed lighter, happier each time I saw him.
He got out and jogged around to the passenger door. He was in his normal cowboy boots, but he wore jeans today that molded over his thighs and pooled around the ankle. His green polo was new, too, and the sleeves were short enough that the dark tattoos around his biceps peeked out.
My belly quivered, and I pressed a hand to my stomach. I was used to the rumpled retired veteran. Evander was embracing his farming and ranching background. I was not prepared for the effect he had on me.
“Ready?” He opened the passenger door, giving me that heated up-and-down look I was starting to thrive on. My stomach was getting bigger and my shirt puffed out more, but when Evander turned that gaze on me, I felt like I was a lingerie model.
“Yes. Thanks for picking me up.” I climbed in, and he shut the door, closing me in with his fresh linen scent. I inhaled deeply before he got in and caught me sniffing his pickup.
At the clinic, we were directed to the radiology waiting room right away. I pressed my palm to my abdomen, growing more nervous with each step. Evander put his hand on the small of my back as we maneuvered into the waiting room .
We sat next to each other. I grabbed a magazine from the end table. It had a grinning mom and baby on the front. I paged through it with Evander looking on.
I stopped at a staged nursery. “That window is bigger than any in my place.”
“That crib is almost bigger than my bed.”
I chuckled. My name was called, and I tossed the magazine down.
I was directed to lie on a small bed. The glow from the way he’d looked at me earlier dissipated when my pants were tugged down, my shirt pushed up, and my rounded belly was sticking up in the air.
Evander was in a chair beside me. Curiosity filled his face, but I caught his gaze, the corners of his eyes creasing, and he gave me a small smile. I returned it. This was it. When the tech squirted the warmed gel on me and then rested the wand on my belly, I held my breath.
“Did you want to find out the gender?” she asked.
“No.” Wait. I’d asked Evander here, and he was the dad. I looked at him. “I guess we never talked about it.” I had been juggling my work schedule and the butterflies I got when I thought of Evander.
“If you don’t want to know, I don’t want to know.”
I studied him. If he had a preference, I couldn’t tell. “All right. Let’s get started.” She clicked on the keyboard.
A squeak left me when the little image appeared on the screen mounted in front of us.
Evander’s hand found mine, and I squeezed his fingers.
The room was silent except for the clicks the tech made as she took her measurements. I only peeled my eyes off the baby to peer at Evander. Wonder shimmered in his eyes, along with a stark yearning. A healthy dose of terror was also in his gaze. He’d almost had this once before, and it’d been taken away from him.
His fear scared me. Would he push me away again? He didn’t look at me like I might steal the silver anymore, but we weren’t under the same roof. Was he better at hiding it to keep the peace?
He met my gaze. The tenderness that formed in those amber eyes choked me up. “It’s a baby,” I said.
His eyes were full of awe. “It’s a baby.”
I inhaled a shaky breath. “I’ve been through morning sickness and tight clothes. I’ve had cravings and mood swings. But now it seems really real. I don’t even have a crib,” I whispered. “The spare room is empty, and it’s the worst color of yellow.”
“Just so happens, I can paint.” He grinned.
“So can I,” I said playfully.
He tipped his head toward the screen. “Not with that thing in your belly.”
His protectiveness was in the same category as his handiness. Hot.
But also for the baby. I had to check myself. This appointment was about our child, not for me to fall for its father.
Evander
Violet studied the images as we walked out of the clinic. “A January baby. I guess it’ll miss Christmas. ”
“Good timing.” Damn. That didn’t sound the best, but she didn’t flinch.
My mind was whirling from today. Even when Kandi had been stringing me along, I hadn’t been able to accompany her to appointments. She’d wanted money for clothing and baby supplies, but my presence hadn’t been as critical.
The baby in these images was real. I was the dad. Violet had invited me along. I hadn’t fucked up everything.
I opened the passenger door of my pickup for her. She crawled in, giving me an almost shy little smile. I jogged around the hood and loaded up.
Dr. Abdallah had been warm and welcoming, but we’d pretended we were a pair the entire time. Violet spoke in “we,” and the doc had assumed we were a couple. Not two strangers having a baby together.
Only Violet didn’t feel like a stranger. And I didn’t want to drop her off and head home to process this afternoon all by myself. “Wanna grab a bite to eat?”
She glanced up and carefully folded the images into one neat bundle. “Oh, I don’t have much at home, but I could?—”
“My treat. Let’s go to Rattler’s.”
“It’s a Friday.”
“Yeah.” I pulled out of the parking lot. The restaurant was only a half mile away.
“You don’t mind if the whole town thinks we’re a thing?”
I didn’t give a fuck if every single person in Coal Haven thought Violet was mine. “A lot of them have figured out we’re having a baby together.”
A slow smile spread across her face. “In that case, sure. I’d like that.”
Then I could overwrite the fleeting moment when I saw Violet and before I recognized her brother. I’d wanted to smash the man’s face in. The panic that she had intended to find a husband stayed with me.
Within minutes, we were seated in a booth at Rattler’s. The place was still quiet, but more people continued to filter in. Violet took a sip of her water, and her gaze stroked over the wooden beams and exposed pipes arching above us.
She let out a small sigh.
Was she…nervous? Uncomfortable? We’d eaten together several times since she’d moved into the rental. Our chats usually revolved around work and family. Pumpkins. We’d just come from a major appointment about the baby, and the awkward silence was louder than the dishes getting cleared two booths down.
I filed through my memories. What kind of shit did parents talk about when they were expecting? I was in my forties. The last time I thought I was expecting, I was barely more than a dumb kid.
“What do you think of names?” I asked.
She worried that plump lower lip between her teeth. “Um…I haven’t.”
“Not at all?”
“It seemed so far away. I guess it’s not.” She wiped her hands on her thighs. Goddammit, she was nervous.
“Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“No?”
“Are you asking me?”
She let out a soft laugh. “It’s not you. It’s…” She gestured toward her stomach. “A baby. I don’t even have a cr ib. The nursery should get a fresh coat of paint and have time to air out before the baby arrives. Then there’s…god, I don’t even know. Changing tables. Swings. I haven’t had time to read or research. But I’ve crocheted two little cat sofas for Flo and Poly.”
“They’re done?”
She nodded, her shy smile almost embarrassed. “I can give them to you when you drop me off.”
“The cats will love them.” I leaned forward. “You don’t need the whole nine months to learn everything. You’re smart.”
“Maybe I need to talk to Lily. None of my friends in California had kids.” She wrinkled her nose. “That should’ve been a sign. Willis wouldn’t even socialize with people who had a family.”
I hated hearing his name, but that asshole had left her with a lot of things to work through. I’d be the guy she could do it with. “Not enough focus on him.”
“How can you see that so fast? I lived with him and was clueless to how selfish he was.”
“People like him know exactly how to string along someone to feed off their ego.”
Sympathy welled in her blue eyes. “Kandi.”
I waited for the hit of resentment at her name, but it was barely a ghost. “They sound a lot alike.”
Her gaze softened. “And here we are.”
“Here we are.” I didn’t care to be anywhere else.
For once, I didn’t have to think about leaving in a year, two years, or three. I told her I’d be gone as soon as my lease was up, but I didn’t see myself anywhere but with her.
“Names.” She got a thoughtful look. “I don’t know. I guess since we didn’t find out, we’ll need both a boy and girl name.”
“Is there anyone you want to name a girl after?”
“I’m relieved you don’t have a plant name, and I won’t feel pressured to continue the trend. Um…” She chewed the inside of her cheek and peered out the window. “It’s not going to be Annie after my grandma. Not after that stupid trust.”
“Fair enough. No naming the kid after grandparents who made trusts. Liam’s got a son named Derek. I’m not interested in starting a new generation of beefs.”
She laughed. “Also fair. Any other family?”
“Aunts and uncles, all out.”
“Willow’s a pretty name.”
“I talked to my dad.” Shit. That came out of nowhere. She mentioned my mom and the floodgates opened.
“How’d it go?” she asked softly.
“Good. He doesn’t get a free pass, but I’m tired of fighting with him. When Mom called me from the hospital, all I could think about was our last conversation.” Understanding filled her eyes, giving me courage to continue. “Maybe I can give him a break. For both of us.”
“I noticed a change. In you. I thought it was the ranching. You went back to your roots and realized the goddamn pumpkins were fun to grow.”
“Fuck, Violet. I do like growing them. Goddamn pumpkins. Can you believe it?”
She laughed, and I soaked it in.
There was something there. Between us. I wasn’t giving up. The more I was around Violet, the more I was realizing that not only might she be worth the risk, but she might just be everything.