Chapter 27 - Avraam
Day after day I can’t think about anything but her.
I pace around the mansion, miserable, alone and riddled with guilt.
I have no right to miss her. I failed her horribly.
She was here, in my home, and I didn’t manage to protect her from the enemy which I introduced her too. If it wasn’t for me, Royce wouldn’t even have known about her.
If it wasn’t for me, he would never have gotten his hands on her.
I fucked up so badly and I don’t deserve to miss her.
She’s better off without me—that’s for sure.
I touch my side where the bullet went through me. It doesn’t hurt anymore. I’m healing well. But I feel like shit.
Nothing is helping. I try to distract myself with books, with work, with anything at all—but she’s on my mind and haunting every moment of every day and every dream at night.
It’s so bad that I’m at the point where I don’t know how I am going to carry on living a normal life without her.
Maybe I should just get on that yacht and leave.
If I get away from this house I can get away from everything that reminds me of her.
I sigh, running my hands through my hair.
It’s late. I should just go to bed.
I hate going to bed because it’s the time when I feel the emptiest.
I reach out across the blankets to where she used to sleep, and the space is empty and cold. It’s a horrible feeling.
But still—I need to sleep or I will go insane.
Perhaps insanity will be a relief from this constant pain of missing Ruslana.
I trudge up the stairs, dragging my feet, not caring about a damned thing.
After a brief shower, I tug on a pair of sweatpants and climb beneath the covers. I tell myself not to—but just the same as every other night—I reach out and touch the bed where she used to lie and a deep ache shoots through my heart.
“Fuck, I miss you so much butterfly,” I sigh, turning my back to her side and closing my eyes.
I never deserved her.
I have to accept that.
I fall asleep and the same dream drifts through my dreamscape.
“Avraam,” she whispers my name and I roll over in bed to face her. Her smile is gorgeous and lights up her entire face. I reach out and touch her cheek, brushing my hand over her soft skin. “Yes, my love?”
“I’m cold, will you hold me?”
I grin and shift closer to her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her against my chest. She rests her head on my shoulder, her fingers twirling delicate circles over my abs. “Why aren’t you asleep?” I whisper against her hair, breathing in delicious scents of wild jasmine and dark musk roses.
“I had a bad dream. We couldn’t be together. It was scary.”
I hold her tighter. “We will always be together, butterfly. We are meant to be together. I will never let anyone take you from me,” I say, kissing the top of her head. She snuggles closer to me and closes her eyes.
I watch her as she falls asleep and my heart is happy.
“Avraam,” I hear her voice and sigh. Rolling towards her side of the bed but not bothering to open my eyes and see the empty space. The dream is still fresh in my mind. I want to go back there. I don’t want to face reality.
“Avraam.” It’s a soft whisper.
My eyes shoot open.
She is lying next to me, her head on the pillow, her long hair flowing over it like silk.
“Ruslana,” I whisper, reaching out to touch her face. Wishing this wasn’t a dream.
But when my hand brushes over her skin I know I’m not dreaming.
She is here.
She’s right next to me—in my bed—her warmth—her face—her smile—
My heart goes crazy, beating too fast, too loud and completely unrestrained.
“Ruslana?” I say in shock, sitting up.
She sits up too and before she can say anything, I wrap my arms around her and pull her into a hug.
I can’t believe she’s here.
“How—what are you doing here?” I stammer.
She bites her lip, looking guilty. “I snuck out—my brothers wouldn’t let me leave the house, but I had to see you. I needed to talk to you—“
“Ruslana, that’s dangerous. Your brothers are going to be furious,” I sigh. I don’t care if her brothers are upset—I am just so fucking happy to see her. But she can’t stay. For her own good she needs to get back to them.
“Why would you take a risk like that?” I ask.
“You got shot, Avraam. You took a bullet for me. I wanted to make sure you were ok—and to say thank you. You saved my life.”
I clench my jaw. “I am the reason you were in that situation. I had no choice but to save your life,” I say harshly, still angry with myself.
She winces from my words. “So, that’s why you did it? Because you thought you owed it to me—because Royce worked for you?”
“Yes,” I nod, trying to pull my eyes off her, but I can’t. She is even more beautiful than ever. My heart belongs to her and she doesn’t even know it.
“I thought—, She mutters.
“What?”
“I thought maybe—it was because of something else, but obviously I was wrong.” She shifts a little away from me and I fight for control. Should I tell her? Will any good come of it?
She came all this way to see me. She took a huge risk to get here. What does it mean? Was it really just to check if I’m ok? Did she really just want to say thank you?
“Why did you come, Ruslana? You could have called me—to say thanks.”
“I didn’t want to call you—I wanted to see you.”
“Why?” I ask forcefully. Demanding to understand. I don’t want to read into this—but I am so desperate to believe that there is more to it than that.
“Because I love you,” she blurts out angrily. Her eyes are wild and bright as she glares at me. “There. I said it. I love you. Does that make me stupid? Maybe. But I don’t care. It’s how I feel.” She is filled with fiery energy, determined and fierce.
I grin, shaking my head.
She looks gorgeous a little flustered, a little angry—and absolutely gorgeous. I reach out and pull her onto my lap.
Before she has a chance to say anything else I kiss her.
Our lips crash into each other and I kiss her with all my heart and soul. I might not be the best at explaining how I feel with words but I can show her.
She moans against my mouth, moving her body, pulling me towards her. She is being very forceful with me and I can’t lie—it’s fucking hot.
When the kiss is over, she leans back and looks at me, her eyes are so intense it leaves me speechless for a moment.
I can see straight into her soul. I can read her heart as though it was written across a page in black ink on stark white paper.
She is in love with me.
My heart clenches tightly and I smile from ear to ear.
“I love you too, butterfly. I have for a long time now. I didn’t want to burden you with my feelings because—you deserve more than this,” I sigh.
“More than what?” she snaps, annoyed again. “You are everything I could ever dream of. Don’t you get it. I think you’re perfect.” Her emotions are flooding her, pushing her.
Tears stream down her face. She is telling me the truth. She is here to fight for me.
I wrap my hand around the back of her neck and kiss her again.
This time we don’t stop kissing. The fire begins to burn wilder between us.
Every moment I’ve spent longing for her comes flooding into me.
I kiss her perfect lips and run my hands over her perfect back. I grab her perfect ass and rock her pussy against my cock.
She moans louder, pushing down against me.
Our touch becomes frantic and desperate—feverish as we move faster.
She climbs off me and starts tugging my pants off. I pull her clothing from her body and throw them away from us.
She stands in front of me, completely naked while I let my eyes trace over every beautiful inch of her skin. I reach out and run my hand up her thighs. My fingertips leave a trace of heat on her skin.
She crawls back onto my lap and my cock is so hard it’s standing rigid.
She looks deep into my eyes as she lowers herself down onto me and my cock slides into her. She takes in a sharp breath as she manages to handle all of me in her little pussy. Her pussy stretches open as I push inside her. I groan deeply, the pleasure of being with her goes far beyond the sensation of thrusting into her. It’s so much more than that. It’s emotions, my heart tugging wildly in all directions. It’s the knowledge that she loves me. She has chosen me.
She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen—she drives me wild—she makes me wild with desire—but she is Ruslana. She has my heart. She has full control of my life and she doesn’t even know it.
I wrap my arms around her waist and move her on my lap, lifting her up and dropping her back down onto my cock, she leans back, letting her hair fall across her back as she tilts her head towards the ceiling, resting her hands on my shins, arching her back as she rides me and giving me the perfect view of my cock sliding in and out of her body. She sways and moves as though she is dancing on me. I could watch her forever.
I fucking love her.
I want to be with her forever.
My cock goes harder at the thought. The thought that she belongs to me.
She moans louder, riding me faster. Moving her body in the most beautiful ways.
I reach forward and run my hand over her breast, feeling the silken smoothness of her creamy skin, grabbing her full hips and taking over.
I lift her off me and flip her over, pushing her onto her stomach.
Grabbing her hips I lift them up, arching her ass towards me, her beautiful tight little pussy is on display for my pleasure.
I rub my cock over it, savoring the feeling, the need, the want to be inside her. Trying to make this last longer.
Her fingers dig into the pillow above her and she moans, wiggling her ass, trying to push against my cock.
I chuckle.
“Tell me you want me,” I demand with my voice low and husky.
“I want you,” she gasps.
“What do you want, Ruslana? Say it.”
“I want you to fuck me like you love me.” She looks over her shoulder, her eyes shining. I thrust forward and slam my cock into her.
She screams and rocks back against me.
“Harder,” she breathes and I grab her hips, my cock plunging into her again.
I growl, moving faster, pushing deeper and finding myself on the edge of control. Swinging my arm back, I slap my hand across her ass, and she squeals in delight. The red imprint of my fingers glares back at me and my cock goes harder.
I feel her pussy pulsing over me, tightening as she nears orgasm.
She lifts her ass slightly and then her entire body goes rigid.
She buries her face against the pillow and cries out as wave after wave of pleasure takes over.
I explode inside her, pushing my cock as deep as I can, breathing heavily.
***
She is lying in my arms, just like in my dreams. Her naked body is up against mine and my fingers are playing with a long strand of her soft hair.
“You are still wearing it,” I say, picking up the butterfly pendant from where it is lying on her breast.
“I haven’t taken it off. I love it,” she says, looking at me and sighing softly. “Avraam, I want to be with you. I love you and I want to spend my life with you. I don’t know what to do.”
“I want that too, butterfly. My life without you feels empty.” I lie in silence for a moment then pull her face towards mine. “I’m going to find a way to meet with your brothers and figure it out.”
“What if they say no? Then can we run away on your yacht?” She smiles.
“I won’t let you run away from your family, Ruslana. They love you. I promise you I will work this out.”
“When?” she asks, propping herself up on one elbow. “I can’t wait.”
I chuckle, “You really aren’t patient, are you?”
She grins and shakes her head.
“Will you marry me?”
Her eyes grow wide with surprise.
“Are you serious?” she asks, her cheeks flushing pink.
“I have never wanted anything more in my life, Ruslana. I want to be with you forever. I want you to be mine. Will you marry me?”
She nods, suddenly crying, rolling onto me and grabbing my face she kisses me against and again. “Yes,” she cries out. “Yes, I will marry you. Oh my word yes.”
I am laughing, holding her, enjoying her outburst of happiness.
Finally, she stops, still lying on my chest, she grins and kisses me slowly.
“Of course I will marry you,” she whispers, and my heart explodes with happiness.
“I have to go through. My brothers will be furious if they find me gone. It won’t help at all with our negotiations to try and make them understand—“
“I understand, little butterfly. You should go. I will drop you off myself, just near the gate. Are you going to sneak in again?”
She nods. “It’s better if they never find out I came here,” she sighs. “I’m sorry. I know it’s all a bit crazy, but I had to see you.”
“You never have to apologize to me.” I grab her face and kiss her again.
Then she sits on the edge of my bed and pulls her clothes back on. Both of us are grinning.
I can’t believe she said yes.
I can’t believe she loves me too.
***
“Stop here,” she points to the side of the road. “You can’t risk driving any further because of the guards.”
“How will I know you got home safely?” I ask, worried to have her walking even that short distance alone.
“I’ll message you when I’m inside the house.”
“Aren’t the guards going to see you?”
“Hopefully not. Raisa said they would be briefly looking the other way.”
“She helped you?”
“She did. She understands how I feel about you.”
I lean across the car and take her face in my hands. “I can’t wait to see you again, little butterfly. I will miss you ever second of every day.”
“I love you,” she whispers against my lips.
“I love you.”
Without another word she climbs out of the car, her radiant smile fills my heart with joy. Then she’s gone. Running down the road towards her brothers' place.
I wait, holding my breath, worried.
Time moves slowly until finally, my phone buzzes.
Ruslana: I’m safely in my room. No one saw me.
I reply, then start my car and head home, deep in thought about how I can convince her brothers that what we feel about each other is real.