October #2
“Get a fucking grip, Brian,” I mutter to myself, shaking out the nerves and double-clicking on the now familiar icon.
The screen roars to life with a merry little jingle and my heart is in my throat. I can see Jesy’s avatar, already lit up with the green ‘online’ status. My cursor hovers over her name, but she beats me to it, sending me an invitation to join her in a video call.
Here we go.
I accept the call and take a breath before Jesy comes into view, sat on the floor, surrounded by… well.
I have no fucking idea.
“What is all that?” I ask, gesturing to the mess around her. She doesn’t answer for a moment, simply choosing to stare at me, and I understand her fascination.
After months of static, we’re seeing each other in motion for the first time and if she’s anything like me, she’s noticing every micro expression.
“It’s stuff to make my dress,” she says in that gorgeous Scottish lilt.
“Destroy your dress, you mean,” I say. She smirks and it’s the most devilish thing, making my stomach tighten.
“If you say so.”
The light catches her hair which falls in soft auburn waves to her waist. A bare waist, I can’t help but notice as she reaches to adjust something off screen.
“Aren’t you cold?” I ask. It’s a fairly mild evening here in England. I can’t imagine Scotland is much warmer.
“Checking me out already, Brian?” Her tone is low and teasing and it’s killing me how her voice affects me so deeply.
“I think you want me to check you out,” I challenge. “Why else would you be wearing so little?”
“Who knew you were such a prude! I’m in my PJs!”
My eyes roam her bare legs before I can stop myself and then linger on the way the oversized shirt hangs off her shoulder.
“I feel overdressed,” I say. “I didn’t know this was a pyjama party.”
“Well by all means get undressed,” she teases. I refuse to squirm under her gaze, but by God, I want to. I am in a lot of trouble.
Darrell’s voice cuts through my thoughts, uninvited. He’d said something about building her up in my head.
Maybe that’s all this is. The power of a reveal.
But then she flashes me that smile and I’m thinking something else entirely.
“This is weird, isn’t it?”
I notice she hasn’t touched the crafting equipment. Her eyes are glued to my face the way mine are glued to hers.
“Weird how?” I ask. I don’t need her to answer. This is weird. And exciting. And wrong. But so fucking right.
“We’re seeing each other in real time. You’re a fidgeter. I didn’t have you pegged as a fidgeter.”
It’s you that’s making me squirm.
I keep that particular thought to myself. I’ve already said far too much. I need to keep this conversation boring and neutral.
“I think it’s the nerves,” I say. “I’m not usually so unsettled.”
“You’re nervous too?” She bites her lip and I have to stop myself from closing my eyes.
Does she even realise what she’s doing?
Is it on purpose?
“Yeah. Probably silly, right?”
“Well, if it is, then we’re riding the silliness together.”
Somehow, I don’t mind the sound of that. I watch her for a moment. Watch her watching me. And then I laugh.
“Christ, Jesy. We’re both acting like we’ve never seen another person before. Can we be normal?”
She giggles, and the sound makes my gut tighten again. “Okay. You got any alcohol nearby?”
“Ye-es? Why?”
Her grin is wicked as she adjusts her position, crossing her legs. “Truth, dare, or forfeit.”
“What are we? Teenagers?”
Her grin softens; she tucks her hair behind her ear. And then she shrugs, her eyes flicking to mine. “Kinda feels like that, doesn’t it?”
16 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: Rain check
Hey, Missus.
I’m really sorry, I need to cancel our video call tonight. Somewhere in between all those forfeits, I forgot I made plans with Rachel.
I’m not sure how she’s going to feel about me turning up to our date with the hangover from hell, but I fully intend on blaming you!
Who in their right mind dares a middle-aged, drunk man to do a cartwheel in the middle of their living room? I suppose the middle-aged drunk woman!
And your truths! Talk about putting a guy on the spot and making him blush.
Oh, but we had fun, Jesy.
I know now why we met the way we did. Because had we met the traditional way, we’d never get a thing done. We’d be too busy with all kinds of shenanigans, causing destruction wherever we go (I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to rebuild that Stargate replica again).
That is why the universe saw sense to keep us separate. But, as you so rightly pointed out last night, Scotland and Lancaster are not all that far apart.
They should have put us on opposite sides of the world instead.
I’m going to go drink copious amounts of coffee to nurse my hangover.
I’m never speaking to you again for doing this to me.
You have received an instant message from:
JESY
Jesy: I’m glad you’re never talking to me again.
Jesy: I’m glad you have a date tonight.
Jesy: Because our friendship was terminated the second you called me middle aged!
Brian: Good to see you, my old chum.
Jesy: Less of the old!
Jesy: I’ll have you know I am in my prime.
Brian: Oh, yeah? How’d you figure?
Jesy: I still have my own teeth. I don’t need a mobility aid, and my tits still sit high up on my chest.
Brian: I think the less said about your tits the better.
Jesy: Ha.
Jesy: Anyway, what do you mean the universe separated us? I thought you didn’t believe in that mumbo jumbo?
Brian: I don’t.
Brian: You do.
Brian: It’s called appeasing you.
Jesy: It’s called patronising me, you condescending prick.
Brian: Wow. You’re calling me names. It must be love.
Brian: Are all Scots as delightful as you?
Jesy: Ah, there’s no one quite like me, Brian.
Brian: Don’t I know it.
Brian: You think you’ll actually do your dress tonight?
Jesy: Without you to distract me?
Jesy: I’ll fly through it.
Brian: Hey?
Jesy: Hm?
Brian: You telling Jerry about our game?
Jesy: I’ll give him the cliff notes.
Jesy: I think some of those dares need to stay where they belong and never spoken of again.
Brian: Regrets?
Jesy: None.
Jesy: But we both know it wasn’t appropriate.
Brian: So. Left in the past.
Jesy: But not forgotten.
Brian: Couldn’t even if I wanted to.
21 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: Tada!
Attachment: Emily.jpeg
It’s finished! I’ve been slaving away for days, and my boring wedding dress is now a beautiful gown for a dead bride.
Ah, isn’t romance wonderful?
21 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Tada!
Looks great, Jes. You’re gonna knock ‘em dead.
Turns out I won’t be going as Chucky this year after all. Rachel has invited me to her family get together (meeting the family, yikes), and we’re going for a couple’s costume instead.
21 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Tada!
Jerry and I did couples costumes once.
I wanted to go as something ridiculous and funny. Like salt and pepper shakers. But shaped like zombies. (Don’t judge, I found them on eBay and thought they’d be cool to replicate.)
When he vetoed that, I thought we could go as the raven and the skull. He’d be in all black with his face painted like a realistic skull. I’d dress as a raven and have a cardboard cut-out speech bubble saying ‘Nevermore’. He didn’t get it.
He said no one would get it.
So, we went as Frankenstein and his bride. How boring and generic is that?
Urgh. I’m still bitter.
What are you going as?
21 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Tada!
….
What else would a boring and generic couple go as if not Frankenstein and his bride?
21 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Tada!
Ooops.
I really put my foot in that one, didn’t I? Sorry, Brian.
21 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Tada!
Don’t be.
It wasn’t my first choice. I tried to convince Rachel to be the Tiffany to my Chucky (and yes, before you start, I know it’s not very creative, but we can’t all make costumes out of Poe references).
Unfortunately for me, the movie apparently freaks her out and the Chucky doll more so.
And so, Frankenstein it is.
Ahh, well. What do I care?
22 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Tada!
You do care though.
You’ve had this costume planned for an entire year! You can’t go to another party (as well as, not instead of!). Maybe with Darrell?
You’ve not shut up about the effort it took to source everything you needed for your transformation into a possessed homicidal doll, it shouldn’t go to waste.
22 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Tada!
It is what it is. Don’t worry about it.
So, I assume Jerry isn’t dressing as the Victor to your Emily?
22 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Tada!
You assume correctly.
Jerry will be dressing as a functioning alcoholic as he is attending a work-do, and he doesn’t want his boss to know he spends every night with his head down the toilet.
22 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Tada!
Is he still hiding bottles from you?
22 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Tada!
Yeah.
Every evening, he makes a show of pouring his ‘one glass to unwind’. Then he’ll sit in front of the TV with Thomas and throw out lines like ‘one more for the road, Dad?’ or ‘oh, well if you insist, old man.’
They get progressively more drunk, Thomas honks my tits as if that’s in any way appropriate, and Jerry tells me to get the stick out of my arse.
How can I deny him an evening drink with his father?! What kind of wife does that? Don’t I understand, they’ve finally found some common ground?
At least Thomas usually passes out after three or four drinks. Jerry continues until he can’t keep his eyes open any more.
I can’t go to sleep until he does, just to make sure he’s not fallen asleep with a cigarette in his hand. (Yup, it’s happened before.)
Well, I’m thoroughly depressed now.
Well done, Brian.
22 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Tada!
I think I know a way to cheer you up…
22 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Tada
I’m listening…
22 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Tada!
Well, I know it’s after midnight. But do you want to hop on a video call?
Note to self.
Do not video call Jesy when Rachel is asleep in the next room.
She will wake up when you laugh too loud.
22 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Tada
Is Rachel still mad at us?
22 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Tada!
She’s fine.
She had a lie-in this morning, and I made her breakfast in bed. I apologised profusely and passed on your apologies too.
But everything was cool when she left this afternoon. She said she enjoyed talking to you actually, how about that?
22 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Tada
You sound surprised!
I’m fucking delightful, don’t you know?
22 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Tada!
That’s the consensus, yeah.
31 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: Happy Halloween!
I hope you have fun at your party.
I have no doubt you will be the best dressed there.
I am currently ready to go and lose a few brain cells tonight as I get into character as Frankenstein’s monster. I certainly feel the part.
And now to wait on my bride who has spent two hours doing her hair.
You women!
31 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
You are about to meet your girlfriend’s family. You are going to need all the brain cells you have!
Send me pictures when you’re all dressed up.
Hey. If we were to do a matching costume, what would we go as?
31 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
I like your Poe idea.
But I’m not sure I like using a costume you had earmarked for another man!
What about Kong and Ann Darrow?
31 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
What about a time traveller and historian?
31 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
Where do you get these ideas?
31 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
That’s hardly out there, Brian.
31 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
Sweeney Todd and Mrs Lovett.
31 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
Meat Loaf and Meatloaf
31 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
As in the singer and the well-loved American dish?
31 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
Yup.
31 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
You know what, Jesy? I’d love to dress up as Meatloaf and Meat Loaf with you.
In fact, I’m gonna make you a promise. One year in the distant future, we’re going to make this dream a reality.
I swear it.
31 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Happy Halloween!
Promises, promises.