October
Brian
So, if I have stepped over the line, I will absolutely apologise to her.
And to you too.
We’re okay, right?
We’re good, Brian?
I can hear Jesy’s voice now as I read her words. I can sense the plea in them, the need for reassurance that we haven’t done something wrong.
Well, that’s easy reassurance to give.
I glance at Rachel sleeping soundly to my left and type a rushed response to Jesy before turning my phone off for the night.
God, I can’t get her voice out of my head.
Nor the way it lowered when she said my name, the giggle as she teased me over my… problem.
She didn’t make you hard. Waking up did.
I repeat the words to myself. So often that I almost believe them.
Almost.
But then I put those words out there, didn’t I?
“Well, now I know what you sound like, I can take care of that little problem.”
And I almost did. The minute she hung up, my hand was reaching under the blanket, that sexy, breathless giggle ringing in my ears.
But I stopped myself, and that’s the distinction.
I went to bed hard, frustrated, and unable to stop thinking about her, but I didn’t do anything.
Right. Because Rachel would be comforted by that. Don’t worry honey, this other woman turned me on, but I didn’t jerk off. Aren’t I the man you want to come home to?
I groan and slide out of bed, heading through to the living room and putting some distance between myself and the woman who does not deserve my restlessness to disturb her sleep.
Maybe Jesy is right.
Maybe we owe Rachel one hell of an apology. But then, logic dictates that Jerry is also owed, and it will be a cold day in hell before I apologise to him.
Jerry is a prick, however. Rachel is not.
Rachel is sweet and understanding. The type of woman to find out about a late-night drunken phone call and assume I was comforting a still grieving Jesy.
And that is definitely not what I was doing.
I’m glad I’ve left my phone in the bedroom, because the temptation to call Jesy again is staggeringly overwhelming.
But it’s okay.
It will be okay because neither of us are stupid enough to cross that line fully. Toy with it. Flirt with it.
But not cross it.
It’s fine. It’s absolutely fine.
And that is why I’m sleeping on the couch.
You have received an instant message from:
DARRELL
Darrell: You’re a miserable bastard this morning.
Brian: Yeah, well. I’ve slept on the couch for the past three nights.
Darrell: In the doghouse, are ya?
Brian: Nah. Self-exclusion.
Darrell: Have you and Rachel started living together without telling me?
Brian: What? No. Absolutely not. We’ve only just started dating.
Darrell: So, here’s a novel idea. Send her home and get a good night’s kip in your bed.
Brian: But I enjoy her company.
Darrell: Then I don’t know what to tell you, mate. Except stop bringing your grumpy into the office.
Brian: Do you remember Jesy?
Darrell: I am reminded of her every time I come into your office and see that ridiculous poster.
Darrell: Is she okay?
Brian: She’s good.
Darrell: Well, I’m glad.
Darrell: …
Darrell: Was there a reason you asked?
Brian: We had a phone call the other night.
Darrell: Congratulations?
Brian: We don’t usually talk on the phone.
Darrell: I’ve seen you smiling enough times at your computer to deduce that.
Brian: Maybe I really like coding.
Darrell: If you like coding that much, I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.
Brian: Very funny.
Darrell: Brian, I can see you skirting around something. Spit it out.
Brian: She asked me the size of my dick.
Darrell: She did what now?
Brian: Well. In a roundabout way.
Darrell: Okay. And did you chew her out?
Brian: Not quite.
Brian: More like… quite the opposite.
Darrell: You encouraged it?
Brian: I was definitely toeing the line. I… We were flirting quite heavily.
Darrell: And you liked that?
Brian: Probably more than I should. Given her marriage and my… well. Rachel.
Brian: I can’t stop thinking about her voice.
Darrell: Sure.
Darrell: You’ve been building her up in your head for months. And she’s being revealed to you slowly but surely. Humour, face, voice. It’s titillating.
Brian: Right.
Darrell: Do you want something more from her?
Brian: I don’t want to stop talking to her.
Darrell: Not what I asked. But on that same thought, do you want to end things with Rachel?
Brian: No!
Brian: No, I really like Rachel. Jesy is just a friend.
Darrell: You think if you say it often enough you might start believing it?
Darrell: Look, at the end of the day it’s a bit of flirting. Whether that’s okay is down to you and your partner. If it is, carry on. If it’s not, find a way to be Jesy’s friend without flirting with her.
Darrell: And if that becomes a problem, maybe you need to accept a truth you don’t want to.
Brian: And what truth is that?
Darrell: Brian. Come on, you know.
Brian: I know.
Darrell: Buckle up, mate. I reckon your life is about to get a lot more interesting.
10 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: Spooky season
Tell me something, Brian.
Does Mr Uber-Nerd celebrate this wonderful season?
The girls are talking about an adult only Halloween party and I’m trying to decide on a costume. Do I go sexy? Accurate? Or full-blown horror?
It’s a hard decision to make.
10 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Spooky season
Do I celebrate?
Please. I had this year’s costume picked November 1st, last year. (Chucky, by the way. I knew you’d be curious, and no I won’t be accepting judgment on that choice.)
Now, to important matters. What shall you dress up as?
Let’s get the obvious point out of the way, whatever you pick you’re going to look sexy. With those curves and that smile? I can’t imagine anything not looking good on you.
As for your theme?
What do you like? What would you feel comfortable wearing? I can think of a few suggestions I wouldn’t mind seeing you in (from a Halloween enthusiasts’ perspective, of course), but it’s not about me now, is it?
10 Oct | From: Jesy Pattinson | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: Spooky season
Do tell, Mr Halloween enthusiast.
I’m dying to know what goes on in that dirty little mind of yours.
10 Oct | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Pattinson
Subject: RE: Spooky season
Ah, Jesy.
I’m not sure either of us are ready to open that can of worms.
You have received an instant message from:
RACHEL
Rachel: Hi, handsome.
Brian: How you doing?
Rachel: Good, good. You know how it is.
Brian: How is the world of teeth?
Rachel: Cavities need to be filled. Pearly whites need a shine. I’m being kept busy.
Brian: Keep on keeping on, right?
Rachel: Right!
Rachel: Anyway, I thought I’d shoot a quick message on my break to see if you’d like to do something tonight.
You have received an instant message from:
JESY
Jesy: I’m going with Corpse Bride.
Brian: Solid choice.
Jesy: And I’m going to use my real wedding dress.
Brian: Less solid choice.
Jesy: What? No, it’s not. I paid all that money to wear the thing once. I might as well repurpose it.
Brian: I suppose when you put it like that.
Brian: But it is a memento of the most special day of your life. You sure you wanna do something like that?
Rachel: Brian?
Brian: Sorry, Rach. Jesy signed on.
Rachel: Oh! How is she? Give her my love.
Brian: I will. And she’s fine.
Brian: Currently discussing her Halloween outfit.
Rachel: Oh, yeah? What did she decide on?
Brian: Corpse Bride.
Brian: She wants to use a real wedding dress.
Rachel: That makes sense.
Brian: Does it??
Rachel: Sure. Given everything you’ve told me, I expect it might be quite cathartic for her.
Brian: Huh. Well, how about that. You women understand each other in a way I never will.
Rachel: Because we are the superior sex, honey!
Brian: Ha. Right.
Rachel: So about tonight?
Jesy: You know, I thought about that. But what is a dress other than a reminder of how expensive that day was?
Brian: Ouch.
Brian: A reminder of the day you got married and shared your love with the world?
Jesy: Well, sure. If you’re feeling sentimental.
Brian: Rachel thinks it will be cathartic.
Jesy: Give her my love. You should invite her into our conversation, so you don’t have to pass messages between us.
Brian: So she can realise how awesome you are and steal my place as your friend? I think not. I think I’ll keep you all to myself.
Jesy: How possessive, Mr Trainer.
Jesy: Anyway. I was thinking…
Brian: Always dangerous.
Jesy: Always exciting!
Brian: What were you thinking?
Jesy: You can keep me company while I destroy my wedding dress and hop on a video call with me tonight.
Brian: Tonight?
Jesy: Yeah. You don’t have any plans, do you?
Brian: None that I can think of.
Brian: I think that would be pretty fun.
Jesy: Awesome. I’ll see you there. I’m gonna go grab supplies, I’ll let you know when I’m ready.
JESY has left the conversation.
Rachel: I’ve got to head off in a minute, honey.
Brian: Sorry, I’m here now. You have my full attention.
Rachel: No worries. I was thinking dinner and a movie if you’re up for it.
Brian: Hm? What’s that now?
Rachel: Haha, you’re adorable when you’re scattered. Plans for tonight.
Brian: Oh, fuck. Rach, I just made plans to video call Jesy. I didn’t see your message. Lemme text her and cancel.
Rachel: Oh, no. Don’t do that! I’ll hang out with my sister instead – she’s been bugging me about it. And you and me can do something tomorrow.
Brian: Are you sure?
Rachel: More than. You two have fun, and you can make it up to me tomorrow.
Brian: Looking forward to it, gorgeous.
Hey, I’m hopping online now.
See you there?
Brian
Fuck, I’m nervous.
I didn’t think I would be. I’ve checked my appearance a dozen times and changed absolutely nothing.
I’ve swapped my shirt and then switched back because I didn’t want to feel like I was dressing for her.
And now I’m sat in front of my laptop, staring at the messaging service, willing myself to open the programme.