April Again #3
I don’t think I ever really matured from the silly teenager who fell in love with this slightly older guy with a great smile and charm dripping from every pore.
I wanted to please him so desperately it was often at a detriment to myself.
And then I wanted his family to love and accept me and didn’t learn how to advocate for myself.
I know how to be someone’s wife, but I’m not sure I know how to be their partner.
Does that even make sense?
And look, I don’t want to become that woman who gets a divorce and suddenly nothing their ex did was good.
Of course Jerry had his moments. Things I used to say to defend him are still a defence.
But I’ve also realised how fucking low the bar was.
I happily accepted the bare minimum because, in that moment, he made me smile.
All this to say that…
One day I will show you the letter. And you can read the words I once said. But right now, after a lot of thought, I’ve decided you’re right. This reset is what we need. For our relationship, whatever it may be, and for the two of us to figure out what we need from one another.
And for me too.
So I can figure out just who the fuck Jesy Mason is.
Is that okay, Brian?
21 Apr | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Mason
Subject: RE: My letter
Yeah, Jesy.
That’s okay.
25 Apr | From: Brian Trainer | To: Darrell Griffin
Subject: Darrell: 1 Brian 0
You were right, mate.
This feels like a new chapter, and I’m glad you convinced me to talk to her.
I owe you one.
25 Apr | From: Darrell Griffin | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Darrell: 1 Brian 0
You owe me nothing.
Keep on keeping on.
You have received a new message from:
brIAN
Brian: Catch me up on life. What’s been going on with you? You had a go at me for moving, but I don’t know where you live either.
Jesy: I guess that was important information from the letter you missed.
Jesy: I’m back in Meadowcraig with my parents. Jobless, homeless, hopeless.
Brian: You’re not hopeless.
Jesy: No. Just a little dramatic. I um… I’m actually working on that book.
Brian: About Meadowcraig?
Jesy: The very same.
Brian: Excellent. Best news I’ve heard all month. How far have you got?
Jesy: I’m in the research phase.
Jesy: But since I’m living here now every day is research day. It’s pretty brilliant. I have coffee with the historical preservation society in the morning.
Brian: Meadowcraig has a historical preservation society?
Jesy: Oh, yeah.
Jesy: We have so many ruins that need protecting. Old buildings that need preserving.
Jesy: You can read all about it in my book.
Brian: Cute.
Brian: And I will.
Brian: What about a job in the meantime? Any plans?
Jesy: Well, I’m kind of tempted to take Isla up on her offer to let me work at the inn again, but I know she’ll be putting herself out to hire me. I’m not needed.
Jesy: And while my parents aren’t pressuring me, I don’t want to be here longer than I have to be. I feel like I’m imposing all the time and nothing I do to say thanks is enough, you know?
Brian: Do you want to stay in Meadowcraig?
Jesy: I think so.
Jesy: Honestly, I hated living in Glasgow.
I love the slower pace here. I love the breathtaking views in every direction.
My neighbours have been my neighbours since I was a kid.
My old schoolteachers are people I share a drink with down the pub.
As weird as that sounds. I dunno, everyone knows everyone here and I love it.
Brian: I can give you a job.
Brian: And you can do it from the comfort of your home.
Brian: And it will give you the freedom to write your book.
Jesy: …
Jesy: This isn’t a charity thing?
Brian: Nope.
Brian: I cleared it with Darrell before Blackpool.
Brian: I told you, I wanted you to come to Detroit with me. But I knew you wouldn’t let me just bring you along and pay for everything. So I was going to hire you.
Jesy: To do what?
Brian: To keep this office in sync with the office in England. Look, we’re all just a bunch of nerds who like to tinker with tech. None of us are really cut out for admin roles and it’s already causing a few issues.
Brian: I was getting close to hiring someone, anyway, might as well be the person originally intended.
Brian: You’d coordinate with me, Darrell and probably Justin and you’d take care of the busy work so we can do what we’re best at.
Brian: And we’re about to get busier. Justin likes the games. I like the trackers. Darrell likes to create databases. We’ve naturally built three subsections in our company, we’re drowning in admin work.
Jesy: And you’re not doing this as a favour for me?
Brian: Sort of. But it doesn’t mean you’re not right for the job. You’ve got experience with admin, I know you’re good under pressure, and I know you can organise. I’ve seen it all in practice. I didn’t create a fake job for you, Jes. It just so happens you’d be good at the job I need.
Jesy: And you’re sure?
Jesy: It won’t become weird between us if you’re my boss?
Brian: Nope. But if it makes you feel more comfortable, Darrell can sign your cheques.
Brian: Come on. What do you say?
Jesy: I think you’re an angel.
Brian: Is that a yes?
Jesy: Yes. Thank you, Brian.
Brian: Yeah, don’t thank me yet. I’m serious, Jes. There’s a lot of work to get through.
Jesy: Don’t worry about it. I’ve got this.
29 Apr | From: Jesy Mason | To: Darrell, Brian, Justin
Subject: Explain yourselves
Oh, well you three are just determined to make this job as difficult as possible, aren’t you?