September Again
Subject: Suitcases acquired!
You will be happy to know I collected your suitcases from the airport, and I only had to wait around for eight thousand hours!
Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration, but it was way longer than it needed to be. But no matter, all your stuff is now in the house and waiting for you.
I gave Wrex one of your shirts as requested, and I have been wearing another for him to associate our two scents together. But I think he’ll be fine.
He is a dog made for Meadowcraig.
He loves the hills and open fields. He is obsessed with the loch and loves having a swim. He’s so friendly with everyone and the local kids love him. They call him Godzilla. Which… you know. Kids are weird.
Slightly embarrassing moment when he jumped the garden wall and ran all the way to the loch. Luckily one of the kids recognised him and brought him back by bribing him with beef flavoured Monster Munch.
Dad’s already added a fence on top of the wall to hopefully stop any more escape attempts.
He’s looking forward to meeting you, by the way.
He’s already asked if the two of you can go down to The Rowan for a couple of pints.
I’ve agreed on your behalf. You can take Wrex and let him play in the loch.
I think you’ll like The Rowan. Scott, the manager, is a fucking riot, and the beer garden sits right there on the shoreline. It’s beautiful.
Isn’t it crazy?
You’re already part of the town and you’ve never set foot here.
Everyone seems to know your name and that you’re flying in from America.
I even got asked if we wanna sign our future children up to Callum’s karate lessons.
Finn at the garage has asked me to send you his way to get your car serviced and Dougal from the inn wants to know if you want to join their poker night.
I know these names mean nothing to you right now, but they will.
One of us. One of us.
Ah, baby.
Get your arse home already.
2 Sep | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Mason
Subject: RE: Suitcases acquired!
This is going to be trippy as fuck when everyone knows my name and I know no one.
But I honestly cannot wait to get home and meet everyone and just be there.
Weird, isn’t it? Already calling it home, and I’ve never so much as stepped on Meadowcraig soil.
But it already feels like home, and I can tell I’m going to love it there.
So you can tell your dad I’d love to go to The Rowan.
Tell Dougal I have a mean poker face and look forward to taking all his money.
Tell Callum that I will stick our un-conceived children on his waiting list and tell Finn there’s no one else I’d trust with my car.
I can’t wait to be part of the crowd.
I love you.
5 Sep | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Mason
Subject: Letter
So, I’m just getting a few things together, and I remembered you wrote me a letter, right? You said I could read it one day and since we’ve bought a house together, and you know, you love me, maybe I could read it now?
5 Sep | From: Jesy Mason | To: Brian Trainer
Subject: RE: Letter
I can give you the cliff notes.
Honestly, the first part was a lot of me whining but there is a part I feel like is important. Hang on, let me type it up:
But the truth is, Brian, I love you.
I love you fiercely, and desperately, and without any thought of self-preservation. You occupy every single one of my thoughts and have done for a while. And I’ve tried to pretend that it was a fantasy, a silly escape from the reality that was my life.
But that’s silly because you are my reality. Everything else was the stuff I had to wade through to get to you. I know that now.
And I know that telling you I love you doesn’t entitle me to your forgiveness. I know wanting another chance doesn’t mean I deserve one.
If you told me never to contact you again, I would understand. If you burned this letter unread, I would deserve it. But if there is even the smallest part of you that believes what we had was real, I am here.
I will be here, patiently waiting for you to love me back.
I love you, Brian. I have loved you for a long time. And I am so deeply sorry that I learned how much courage that love required only after I had already hurt you.
I hope you can forgive me.
God, can you believe that was only six months ago? How insane is that? At some point this year, we weren’t even on speaking terms and now…
Have we moved too fast?
Oh, God, Brian! What are we doing? We bought a house together, we’re practically strangers! We’ve barely spent any time together and…
Ha. Did I get you?
Because it is insane. It is fast. Any sane person would probably tell us to slow down, take a breath, think it through.
But I don’t want to.
I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. You and me. Me and you. However you want to look at it, it all leads to the same place.
Whether you believe in all my kooky, cosmic, meant-to-be nonsense or not, I do.
The universe wanted this for us.
I fucking love you, Brian.
5 Sep | From: Brian Trainer | To: Jesy Mason
Subject: RE: Letter
That was cruel! Why would you tease me like that? I’m looking around my empty apartment worrying where I’m going to live cos you’re spiralling and you’re making jokes!
Minx.
The fact is, I don’t give a shit who thinks what.
The fact is, it’s no one else’s business.
The fact is, I have loved you for much longer than even I realised. I remember Darrell asking me about Rachel and why I was keeping her at arm’s length. She spent so much of her time at my place he couldn’t understand why I didn’t ask her to move in.
Obviously, I was in love with you. And I knew she wasn’t the person I wanted to spend my life with.
What I did to her was fucking shitty, but I’ve said it before, if I had to do it all again, the exact same way, I would.
As long as it meant I was coming home to you and Wrex and all the Meadowcraig-ians.
I fucking love you too.
6 Sep | From: Stephen Reeves | To: Jesy Mason
Subject: Your book
Hi Jesy,
I’ve just had the delivery notification come through, so I had to check in, has it arrived yet? More importantly… do you love it?
I have to say, we were all a little bit obsessed with the photos you sent over. I really hope the cover lived up to what you had in mind, we wanted it to feel like your book the second someone looked at it.
There’s nothing quite like that first moment, holding your own words in print. Take it in. You’ve done something really special here.
We’re so excited to help you bring this into the world properly. Next stop, Meadowcraig. I’m very much looking forward to finally seeing the place that inspired it all.
Speak soon,
Stephen
You have received an instant message from:
JESY
Jesy: Brian!!!!
Jesy: Look at my beautiful, beautiful, book!
JESY sent an attachment: Book.jpeg
Brian: I am so unbelievably proud of you, Beautiful! I am blown away by you, my little genius.
Jesy: Says the guy who owns a tech company.
Brian: Genius recognises genius.
Jesy: Yeah, yeah. It looks good though, right? Stephen said if anything needs changing now is the time to mention it before they do a mass order, but I can’t see anything wrong with it.
Brian: Because nothing is wrong with it.
Brian: Enjoy the moment, baby. I’m really sorry, but I have to run. Justin’s waiting for me. I didn’t tell you in all the madness, but we’ve hired a new guy, Robert. We’ve got basically no time to get him ready for Justin coming to the UK.
Jesy: No problem. I gotta go take Wrex for a walk.
Jesy: Love you.
Brian: Love you.
brIAN has left the conversation
Dear Jesy,
Forgive me for not getting in touch sooner. I recently came across an advertisement on social media for an upcoming book and, to my surprise, discovered it was written by my ex-daughter-in-law.
I have thought about reaching out to you many times, but I wasn’t sure whether my presence in your life would be welcome. And yet, here I am, writing with news that I feel you deserve to hear from me directly.
Jerry passed away earlier this summer.
I imagine that may bring up complicated feelings, if any at all. After everything that happened, I would understand if your reaction was indifference. Or even relief.
The truth is, Jesy, the months following your departure were…
illuminating. It became painfully clear, in ways I am ashamed to admit I did not see before, just how much you held together.
Not just the household, but Jerry himself.
Your absence left a silence that could not be ignored, and for the first time, I saw things as they truly were.
I also owe you an apology.
I do not condone cheating, and I never have.
I have always believed that the troubles within a marriage should be faced with honesty and dignity.
But I failed to extend that same dignity to you.
Instead, I allowed assumptions, loyalties, and my late wife’s influence to cloud my judgement.
I stood by while you were made to feel lesser, and in doing so, I became part of the problem.
You did not deserve that.
In the time since, I have had to sit with that truth more than once.
This letter is not written with any expectation.
I do not ask for forgiveness, nor do I assume I am owed it.
The fact is, by the time you read this, I myself may already be dead.
I’m not a well man, you see. I simply wanted to acknowledge what I did not have the courage to say before, and to tell you that I am sorry.
I hope life has been kinder to you since you left us. From what little I have seen, it appears you have built something for yourself, and I am glad of it. Truly.
Take care of yourself, Jesy.
Yours sincerely,
Thomas Pattinson
You have received an instant message from:
ISLA
Isla: Woah.
Jesy: You read it then?
Isla: I did. Who would have expected that?!
Isla: How are you feeling?
Jesy: I don’t know.
Isla: I think that’s normal. It’s a shock to the system.