Chapter 20
brEK
My moans sound loud in my ears. Heat like I’ve never known before makes me burn from the inside. Every limb shakes. The shaking becomes almost violent every time Voss sucks, especially when he curls his fingers too.
I love this feeling. Even though my mind swims with nothing but hot, consuming arousal, a quiet voice in my head says, This is the best feeling in the world.
It’s my libido that’s only ever awake when Voss is around.
Not every time he’s around, but never when he’s not.
It’s like the finger analogy—all thumbs are fingers, but not all fingers are thumbs.
Fingers seem an appropriate thing to liken this to since three of Voss’ are deep in my ass and tormenting my prostate.
I think it’s only his fingers inside me that have me still standing upright.
I’m propped against the shower wall, but my legs tremble so harshly that I should be on the ground.
They can’t possibly be holding my weight.
Between my cock in Voss’ mouth, his fingers shoved in my ass, and his other hand resting along my torso, it’s definitely him keeping me upright. Him alone.
My eyes roll back as he sucks hard. My knees buckle, and I make a choking sound. Maybe because my head is slung back and the shower water is going to drown me. I might be choking on that.
I’m nearly there. So close to coming. So damn close to losing my mind.
When he sucks me like a vacuum, I determine that it’s his intent to get me off right now, so I let it happen. I come with a strangled cry.
My load emptying in Voss’ mouth doesn’t slow him down.
His mouth tightens as he swallows, and I shudder.
He continues to milk me, sucking every drop until there’s nothing left and I’m whimpering.
I don’t know whether it’s his fingers rubbing incessantly against the goods or his mouth earning a damn medal, but it’s good. So, so good.
As soon as he lets me go, I slide down the cold tile wall into a puddle. Voss chuckles. “You’re good for the ego.”
The sound that comes out of my mouth isn’t human. Some weird combination of syllables. He chuckles again as he gently pets my face.
“Feel good, Brek? You like that?”
I nod, still feeling like I’m in a daze. Yeah. Feels good.
“You’re so hot when I’ve turned you to mush.”
He’s close enough that even without my glasses, I can see him clearly. I kind of want to glare, but nah. I feel too good to glare.
“I kinda want to stay in bed today. Want to call out?” Voss asks.
I sigh. “Can’t. Have a showing this morning.”
“Someone else can’t take it, huh?”
I hum and shake my head. “They already treat me weird since I’m in the office that belongs to a Van Doren. I’d rather not make it seem like I get special privileges.”
“You do. I’m not sucking any of them off.”
I huff and roll my eyes. “If there’s nothing pressing going on after, I can come home early and we can get back into bed.”
“Fine. I suppose I’ll accept that as a compromise.”
“Good. That’ll give me time to regain my strength and give you the same intense orgasm later.”
“Promising me a good time to distract me from going to work. Okay, okay.”
I grin and allow myself to relax into his hold.
His hand moves over my stomach, chest, and down between my legs.
I shiver at his touch, but kind of love that I don’t feel averse to it.
I can’t remember a single time with a partner in the past where I welcomed their touch between my legs.
Soft, hard, somewhere in between… it was all the same. I didn’t want their hands on me.
Voss is different. I enjoy him fondling me. Examining me. Exploring, tracing, and getting me hard. I almost never mind when he wants to touch. And when I do mind, he doesn’t make me feel bad when he takes his hand away.
Maybe that’s why I enjoy his touch. That might be why I enjoy his company as a whole.
His hand remains on my junk, moving his fingers and palm over my goods like he does with his fidget toys as he leans down to kiss me. This is my life now. I love this. I love everything about this. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this was what my life could look like.
Voss’ finger concentrates over the tip of my dick, rubbing my slit in a strangely sensual way. It sends tingles throughout my body, even as his fingers toy with my balls. Who knew that balls were fun to play with? Arguably, the funnest part to play with on the human body.
Far too soon, Voss picks his head up. “It kind of sucks having responsibilities,” he says.
I nod. I have no idea what time it is, but I know we climbed into the shower around seven, and we’ve been here for a hot minute. I truly do need to get to work.
We help each other up, though he’s doing most of the helping. My legs still feel like limp noodles. He knows how to empty my balls for sure.
Even knowing we got up with the intent to get ready for the day, we remain wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing and embracing under the hot spray of water. Neither of us is in a hurry. My appointment isn’t until eleven, so it isn’t like I’m risking being late yet.
This turns into the longest shower we share. It doesn’t turn sexual again, but we’re not finished touching. Everywhere our hands can reach. Our mouths stay locked together, alternating between slow and sweet and heated.
Eventually, we climb out and dry off. I no longer feel like a limp noodle but a wrinkly prune.
I join Voss in the nursery as he releases the nanny from duty for now and gets Axl ready for the day.
Mostly, I just watch him. He never asks me for help.
I’m not sure if that’s so he doesn’t feel like he’s putting pressure on me or because he feels like he needs to do it on his own.
Sometimes, I choose an outfit, though. Axl has such adorable clothing, and I swear, he rarely wears something more than three times. He’s growing so damn fast. Dr. Mark says he’s in the top 90% of infants his age.
I find that interesting because he still looks so damn small. I can’t imagine infants being even smaller at three months old.
My god, he’s three months old! Where has the time gone?
“You think the school your dad is building will be ready for him when he’s old enough?” I ask.
Voss looks at me. “Yep. It’ll be ready for Emmy in a couple years.”
“Really? He’s barely broken ground.”
“Don’t underestimate Dad. Now that he has all the permits and shit in order, that thing is going to materialize overnight. Just you wait.”
Hmm. I should take weekly peeks at it. Maybe I’ll take a detour to the site this morning, just to see the progress.
“You think your dad is okay?” I ask.
Voss sighs. “I don’t expect him to be a blubbery mess, but I kind of expected some indication that he feels one way or another,” he admits. “I don’t know. He doesn’t appear to be upset. In fact, as much as I hate to say it, he looks happier now.”
“You all always thought that he didn’t love her,” I remind him.
He nods absently as he brings Axl into his arms. He watches his son for a minute before meeting my eyes.
“I don’t think he did. But he was going to marry her.
I understand people marry for reasons other than love, but I want to believe he was at least fond of her, right?
Which means I expect him to be marginally upset that their relationship is over quite suddenly. ”
“I’m glad he’s not upset,” I say, shrugging. “If he’s happier now without her, then I think that’s what matters.”
“Yeah?”
I think about Levis and the girlfriend he left behind when we moved here. It was a weight off his shoulders when he ended it with her. “Yeah. Maybe you don’t always consciously understand your feelings until something happens.”
Voss pulls me to him. I’m careful not to crush Axl between us as I rest my head against Voss’. “Like you and me. That what you’re thinking?”
“No, actually. But yeah, like this. I don’t know about you, but for me, until I thought you were getting together with Lorissa after Axl was born, I didn’t realize how I felt about you. That could work in the opposite direction, too, though.”
“I guess you’re right. I’d rather he be happy than upset. Dad deserves to be happy.”
I kiss him and then step back. “I’ll see you this afternoon.”
“Have a good day.”
My fingers move gently over Axl’s hair in goodbye. “You too. I’ll text you when I leave the office.”
Voss nods.
I leave the nursery and head for the elevator. I only use the elevator when I’m heading to the underground garage. It’s not located in a convenient place for where I usually am. It is central in the house, which makes perfect sense, but my room is at the far end. Not close.
As I decided, I take a brief field trip to the property behind the estate.
It’s gated off with a posted sign stating that it’s a construction site and only authorized personnel are allowed beyond that point.
It’s fine. I can see through, and honestly, I’m shocked.
There’s the outline of an actual structure already climbing into the air. I see several more beyond the closest.
Voss wasn’t wrong. This thing will appear overnight. Although I have absolutely no stake in this and will never be even a little involved, an excited pit forms in my stomach. It’s really cool to see it go from a 3D drawing to something real.
I stay there for several minutes, watching as the machines work. The structures are recognizable as buildings, and only because I’m somewhat familiar with the layout of the new campus do I have an idea of what I’m looking at. I can’t wait to see what they look like when they come together.
After a while, I turn around and head for the office. I have to at least pretend to work today.
As promised, I finish my showing and head out. I let Zaiden know that I’m heading home and that I have nothing going on. He can send me messages to follow up with if need be, and I’ll use my company phone to answer them.
However, right now, I have a gorgeous man and his adorable son waiting for me at home. That’s where I want to be. I want to crawl back into bed and cuddle the day away. I want to have some orgasms and family cuddles too. Not that we’re a family, but still.
I climb into my car and hit the start. The engine makes a whiny sound before quitting entirely. The check engine light comes on. I wait, watching the dashboard. It usually goes out right after it comes on.
Clicking off the engine entirely, I give it a minute and then try again. This time, the engine just makes a clicking sound. Click, click, click, click. The lights flash wildly, like Christmas has settled into my dash. There are symbols I didn’t know existed on my dash, twinkling at me.
Letting it go, I decide that my car isn’t going to start. This is what I get for continuously putting off getting it looked at. It’s been months since it was giving me warnings of its imminent death, and I chose to ignore it.
Sighing, I gather my bag across my chest and pull up the Shuttled app to order a car home. There’s one right around the corner, so I hit ‘Order.’ Then, I send a text to Voss.
Me
Car won’t start. Getting a ride home.
Voss Van Doren
I can come get you. Axl’s never had a car ride before.
I grin.
Me
That’s okay. The car is already pulling into the parking lot. I’ll see you in a bit.
Voss Van Doren
Okay. Be safe.
With my bag in hand, I get out of my useless car. While I think locking it is just mockery, since the fucker won’t start, I hit the lock button anyway. I cross the few empty spaces between me and the Shuttled and open the back door.
“Ale-brick-t,” the man says, accent heavy.
My name is stupid. No one knows how to say it. “Yes,” I answer, not bothering to correct him.
“Good. Home?”
“Yes, thanks.”
He nods, and I get settled into the back. This is the first Shuttled I’ve been in that feels more like a taxi than a rideshare. There’s a plastic barrier between the front and back seats with a little window.
The man in the front is wearing a face mask. It’s not all that unusual to see this. There are a lot of people who drive strangers around who wear face masks. You’re in a small, closed space with strangers who could have any number of viruses. It’s smart.
I look down at my phone and begin scrolling mindlessly on ShareIt. We’re heading toward route 40, leaving the rural streets of Flagstaff where The Van Doren Real Estate office is located, when my stomach begins to feel sour. God, it’s been a long time since I got carsick.
Turning my phone off, I let my head fall back and close my eyes, trying to ignore the way my mouth salivates like one does before they’re going to get sick. My head begins to ache.
The ride is not that long. I should be able to survive a short ride. It was my fault. I was testing the fates by scrolling in the back of a car. There’s no quicker way for me to get sick than doing that. Except maybe reading. I’d have already vomited by now if I’d chosen to try to read.
I click the button for the window, but it doesn’t move.
“Can you roll down the window?” I ask. “I feel sick and need some fresh air.”
“Window,” the man repeats.
I tap the glass. “Can you roll it down?”
He says something, but I don’t know the words. My head spins. Instead of trying again, I clamp my mouth closed to hopefully keep myself from getting sick. I feel dizzy. The car sways, jumps, and rocks like it’s on water.
“Air,” I try and jam my finger on the button again.
That’s the last thing I remember before passing out.