Chapter 19
VOSS
“Why do you think they’re really here?” Ellory asks.
I turn my head to watch him. He’s currently on the floor with Axl and a pile of clothes, changing him like a doll. Axl doesn’t seem to care in the least. He’s floating between lazily aware that clothes are coming on and off and dozing.
At almost two months old, he stays awake for longer periods of time now.
I love when his eyes open wide and I think he’s looking directly at me.
I’m not entirely sure what the truth about their sight is.
I get science and all. I’m a firm believer in science, technology, medicine—all that.
But I’m also a believer of people being able to speak from experience, and a newborn simply can’t tell us what they see.
I might have picked up one of my first loves again—my anatomy and physiology book. Except I recently bought a new one. The newest version used in medical school. Stupidly expensive for a book, but it is what it is. I’m enjoying it.
“You think they want something?” Ellory asks, reminding me that he asked about our grandparents.
“I don’t know,” I answer.
He looks at me, giving me a demure expression. “Really? That’s all you’re going to say?”
We’ve all compared notes on what our grandparents said when we were called into the conference room for our personal apologies.
From what I can tell, it was basically a script they read to each of us.
They were sorry for the things they said, and they didn’t mean anything by them.
It was a test of our loyalty to the family.
Blah, blah, blah.
Loren brought a knife in. While his first choice is always a butcher knife, he brought in a cleaver this time. That’s likely why his visit was the shortest.
I hope what they took from our little visit wasn’t that we’re loyal to our family but to each other first and foremost. You don’t get to call yourself family if you’re never around. That makes you blood, not family. There is a distinction.
“What do you want me to say?” I ask. “I agree that something feels weird that they suddenly showed up. On the one hand, we can say it’s because they have a great-grandchild, right?
Clearly, grandchildren aren’t important enough to show up for since they have seven—and one they only just met at dinner that evening.
But given what we know, does that seem like enough to bring them home? Family?”
“Ironic, isn’t it?” Avory says. “Testing our loyalty to family when they abandoned their four youngest kids to their eldest to raise, and the rest of us can count their presence in our lives on a single hand. Is that family?”
I turn my attention back to the ceiling. The gear in my hand, spinning between my pinched fingers, is a constant whir in my head. My foot shakes, though I’m trying to keep it still, since Avory is leaning against the couch I’m lying on.
“What I find most infuriating is that their apology only went to us. They haven’t apologized to any of our partners,” I say.
“Not that it matters, but not even those who are married into our family. At the very least, they should have apologized to Oakley and Briar,” Avory says.
I nod in agreement. I get it. Partners are temporary, right?
But marriage is supposed to be a sign of permanence.
Avory’s right. At least two of them should have received an apology.
Even if not a lengthy memorized apology.
A simple ‘I’m sorry for being a dick’ would go a long way with both our partners and us.
I’m not sure they understand the rift they’ve created. Then again, I think maybe they do.
Thanksgiving was… interesting. My favorite part was that Dad did not let them take the head of the table. He made them get up in front of everyone and take their seats elsewhere.
More than that, Uncle Noaz didn’t let them interact with Emerson. I didn’t let them near Axl. They learned how spicy Jessica is when they tried to ignore her and embrace Myro. They understood Jessica existed after that confrontation.
They haven’t been back in the big house since. Hopefully, they understand that they’re not welcome unless they figure out how to get their heads out of their asses. I have a feeling that by the time they do, it’ll be too late. The damage will be done.
Most curious of all is that our uncles are still here.
Uncle Arath is staying in the big house instead of his, which is by our grandparents’ house.
The other house down in that area is Uncle Oxley’s, and he’s there with Huntley.
I think we were all a little concerned until Uncle Oxley told us how he beat Uncle Kairo with his crutches.
Uncle Kairo is still here, too. He’s been hopping between his house deep in the woods beyond Uncle Noaz’s and the big house.
Uncle Auden is here, as is his son, Rhodes.
That’s probably been the most entertaining.
Not just because Rhodes has brought his lover, Bennett, who is this blinding light of happiness in contrast to Rhodes’ borderline twisted outlook on life, but they have the pack with them, and our grandparents do not like the wolves.
Also, a strange development is Bennett’s presence.
Strange, because Rhodes has always been perpetually single.
We always thought it was a subconscious thing since his father was a damn hoe, with a different person every single day.
Suddenly, Uncle Auden hasn’t brought anyone home in over a year, and Rhodes has a boyfriend.
Very, very strange.
“I don’t care why they’re here,” I say.
“It’s a strange choice of first impressions after not seeing them in years,” Ellory says. “I don’t remember once that they were homophobic growing up. I mean, I know they weren’t around, but I feel like it would’ve come up when they were, you know? We never hid that we’re gay.”
By ‘we,’ he meant Imry. I’m not sure Avory and Ellory feel like they’re oriented in either direction. Their attraction is to each other only. I’ve always thought they just claimed gay as they’re guys and Imry is gay. Not because they felt a particular way about it.
“Whatever,” Avory says. “I’m put off by their presence. On one hand, I don’t really care why they’re here. They have some kissing ass to do if they expect to be a part of this family again. On the other, I’m curious what brought them home.”
“Omen. Like something is coming,” Ellory says as he picks Axl up and snuggles him close. Like they do with Emerson, my brothers visit often. They love uncle time with Axl. I think they feel less like they’re intruding because we live in the big house.
I check my watch and pull myself up. “Time for dinner.”
The best thing about the week following Thanksgiving is the meals.
Leftovers are made into everything under the sun—breakfast hash, omelets, scones, pancakes, sandwiches, casseroles, pies, breads, charcuterie platters…
You name it, a version has been created.
Every evening is something different, and I love it.
Tonight is probably the last of it, though. We’re likely running low on the meals they prepped with the leftovers.
Avory packs up all of Axl’s clothes into the base of the collapsible pen as Ellory gets to his feet with my son. There are already a couple of seat options in the dining room for him, so I just grab a feeding cloth.
We’re met by Rhodes, Bennett, and the beasts as we hit the bottom of the stairs. They’re coming in the side door. Bennett smiles at us, and I have to squint. Damn man is far too bright for his own good.
“Hey,” I say as one of the beasts shoves his nose into my hand. I scratch behind his ears as he takes up residence beside me and we make our way down the hall. “Where’ve you been?”
“I’d like to say hunting, but you have nothing but rabbits and shit on the property,” Rhodes says. “They need something bigger.”
“Dad will ban the dogs from the estate if you let them on the refuge to hunt,” I warn.
He sighs. “I know. I already asked.”
“Drive an hour west and let them loose to hunt,” Avory suggests. “It won’t be the kind of hunting they prefer, but at least they’ll get to hunt.”
“Mm,” Rhodes says.
“You don’t have any contracts close by?” Bennett asks.
I glance in his direction. It’s weird that he knows what we do, and he’s totally on board. Weirder still that he has his own violent streak. It’s difficult to imagine when he refers to the beastly wolves as sweet babies in a cooing voice.
Then again, perhaps that should have given away the fact that he’s a little unbalanced as well. No one would look at these wolves and call them sweet baby puppy doodles like he does.
We gather in the dining room, arranging around the table. Ellory buckles Axl in his seat and slides him between us. I lean to my left and kiss Brek. Perhaps a little more aggressively than necessary, given that we’re surrounded by people, but whatever. It’s just our family.
Everyone is here. All the brothers and their partners. All the uncles and partners—except Elgin, since he’s back in Philly for hockey. Uncle Auden and Cousin Rhodes. Emerson and Axl. And Dad… oh, and Levis. I suppose he gets his own by-name mention since he doesn’t fall under any other label.
Dinner is loud because there are almost two dozen people together. I don’t hate it. We talk about nothing. Laugh. Recap memories of after-Thanksgiving dinners and adventures. Give Uncle Auden a hard time about his dry spell, teasing him that he’s lost his sex appeal.
We’re interrupted when one of the staff comes in. The entire table hushes. Even Emerson, probably confused by the sudden silence.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, Mr. Van Doren,” Linus says as he bows his head.
Dad shakes his head. “Not at all. What do you need?”
“Jeannette is at the door. I didn’t bring her in since… she hasn’t been here in a while and I wasn’t sure…” He trails off.
Everyone’s attention is on Dad. He stares at Linus as if just seeing him for the first time. It’s so quiet that I think I can hear the seconds pass.
“Jeannette,” Dad repeats eventually. Almost as if he can’t recall someone with that name.
“Your fiancée?” Myro reminds him. He looks at Linus. “That Jeannette, correct?”
Linus nods. “Yes, sir.”
Another very long, silent, confused minute passes before Dad takes his cloth napkin from his lap and gets to his feet, draping the napkin on the arm of his chair. “Please excuse me. I’ll be right back.”
We watch him follow Linus out of the room, but silence remains. We stare at each other, trying to determine what just happened. Did Dad forget his fiancée? Granted, she hasn’t been here for months. Many, many months. Last we knew, she was traveling for work, and I guess she never came back.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Levis pick his glass of water up and take a sip.
He immediately begins choking, which has everyone looking at him.
His face is all red as he struggles to get the water from his lungs.
He pushes away from the table, chokes out an ‘excuse me,’ and coughs his way out of the room.
“He forgot how to swallow,” Avory muses.
I’m not the only one who snorts.
“He never knew how,” Oakley says, shaking his head.
I laugh under my breath. The table remains quiet as we pick at our dinner, waiting for Dad to come back.
Dad isn’t gone long. The room turns stony once more as he returns and takes his seat. He’s alone. I’m sure everyone is burning with the same question I am—Where is Jeannette?
He doesn’t say anything as he settles into his chair again.
He also doesn’t look at any of us. Once he’s still, he stares at nothing for a minute.
Then he reaches to the table in front of him, and we hear a quiet clink.
When he pulls his hand away, the engagement ring he gave Jeannette is sitting on the table, glinting in the light from the chandeliers overhead.
Oh no.
I feel like I need to say something, but as I watch Dad, I’m not sure what to say. He doesn’t look at anyone at first, but then he raises his eyes and takes us all in with a small, half smile. His eyes land on Levis’ empty chair for a minute before he goes back to his plate.
He doesn’t eat. No one does as we try not to stare anymore.
Like me, I think everyone is watching Dad from the corner of their eyes.
Unsure what to do. Or say. Or think. I refuse to ask what happened.
If Dad wants to talk about it, he will. I think dropping the engagement ring on the table is announcement enough.
After a moment, he pushes his chair back. “Excuse me,” he says. “Please eat.” We watch as he secures a button on his suit jacket and leaves the room.
Even after he’s been gone for a minute, we stare after him. Emerson points at Dad’s chair and looks up at his parents.
Uncle Noaz shakes their head. “Granddad needs a minute,” they say. “Eat, okay?”
Emerson may only be a year old, but he knows something’s up. Probably because the twenty adults surrounding him aren’t making any sounds. Neither are the seven wolf dogs gathered around the table.
“You think Dad needs something?” Ellory asks quietly.
No one answers for a moment.
“I think we need to let him deal with it on his own for tonight, at least,” Myro says. “I don’t think anyone wants to be bombarded right after…” He looks at the ring Dad left on the table.
Right after a breakup. Because he has the ring back, does that mean that she broke it off? Isn’t that how it works? Depending on who breaks it off determines who gets the ring, right?
I rest my hand on Brek’s leg under the table. It’s not a good feeling to think that Dad is upset. He wasn’t in love with Jeannette. We know that. He said as much. To me, to my brothers, this engagement sounded more like a business merger.
But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t something more. It doesn’t mean that he didn’t care about her. He very well could be upset. Which means I feel a little guilty for wanting her out of the picture. Dad deserves love, and no one could convince me that he loved her.
Maybe I was wrong, though. Maybe he did love her. Clearly, he’s upset.