Chapter 16
MOST ROMANTIC
If Ella thinks that she can just run off like that, she’s wrong.
It’s not just because all the early Christmas money I got from my grandma is now going to the DJ. I don’t care about that. What I do care about is the fact that every time we have any breakthrough in our relationship, something comes up.
I can’t let that happen again. We’ve only got two school days next week before we go on winter break, and those don’t really count since we’re taking midterms. Then, my family is going to Utah through the new year.
I’m afraid I won’t get a chance to talk to Ella after this dance, and I have things I need to say.
I push through the crowd of students, keeping my eyes glued to Ella and that blue dress that she’s wearing. She looks beautiful in it. It’s the same color as her eyes, a shade of blue that has quickly become my new favorite color.
Maybe it always has been. I loved watching them burn in fury when we were rivals, but I enjoy the warmth in them when we’re teasing each other. Not that I can think about that right now. Right now, I need to make sure I don’t lose sight of her.
I shuffle around a couple at the edge of the dance floor when Lily steps right in front of me. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and her glare is cold enough I have to suppress a shiver. “Connor.”
I don’t have time for whatever this is. I tilt my body to look around her. Ella hasn’t stopped moving, and more people fill the space between us with every step she takes. I’m afraid if I blink, I’ll lose sight of her. “This is kind of a bad time.”
I take a step to keep following Ella, but Lily moves in front of me. “Not for me.”
A growl escapes the back of my throat. “Yeah, well, I’m kinda in the middle of something.” I side step to the right.
Lily moves to her left and raises a brow. “Why did Ella leave the dance floor looking like she was going to cry?”
I peer around Lily but can’t see Ella anymore. Just great. I flash an impatient smile. “I don’t know. That’s what I was trying to figure out before I lost her.”
Hardy seems to materialize out of nowhere. He stands next to Lily with his arms crossed. “Easy. You don’t need to snap at Lily.”
I throw my hands up. “I’m not snapping at anyone. I’m simply saying that everything was fine until Lily got in the way.”
Her mouth falls open for a second before her lips twist into a snarl.
She grabs my arm and drags me off the dance floor.
I don’t fight her because I’ve already lost the one person I want to spend time with tonight.
I’ll let Lily say whatever she needs to get off her chest, and then I’ll go look for Ella. I just hope she doesn’t get too far.
We end up in a secluded hallway near the bathrooms. The music is quieter here, and harsh overhead lights brighten the space. Hardy stands behind her ready to jump in, as if I’d do anything to hurt Lily. He should know me better than that.
Lily takes a step closer to me, crowding me against the wall. Even in heels, she has to look up to meet my eyes, but her glare is deadly. I briefly wonder if Hardy is standing at attention for my safety. It’s almost enough to make me laugh—if I wasn’t so concerned about Ella.
Lily releases me forcefully, smacking my elbow against the plaster wall. “I’m not going to pretend that I understand what the heck is happening between you and Ella. But for some reason, she doesn’t hate you anymore. She might even like you, you jerk.”
A tingling sensation runs down my arm. I think I hit my funny bone. I rub it through the fabric of my suit jacket. “Gee, thanks.”
She jabs me in the chest, the point of her nail poking me. “So I want to know exactly what you said to her that made her look like you broke her heart.”
I gently brush her hand away with my forearm. “Nothing.”
“Hard to believe nothing sent her running away from you.”
I rub my fingers against my temple. “I admitted to paying the DJ to play more slow songs. I thought things were fine. Then all of a sudden, she ran off. I don’t know the reason. That’s why I was chasing her.”
She lowers her brows. “You paid the DJ to play slow songs?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
I shrug. “So I could dance with her.”
She turns to face Hardy. There’s an exchange of animated expressions between the two of them before she looks at me again. “Do you like Ella?”
“Yeah,” I answer easily.
“No, do you like her?”
“Yes.” I nod. “Do you want to see the note I have in my pocket? It even has little boxes so she can check yes or no if she likes me back.”
Hardy takes a step toward me. “I told you not to talk to her like that.”
My hands ball into fists at my sides. Why can’t they see that I care for Ella, too?
Do we really need to go through the Spanish Inquisition?
“Can you please just look at it from my perspective? Yes, I like her. No, I don’t know why she’s upset.
Yes, I’m trying to find her. No, it’s not because I want to hurt her. ”
Lily’s face scrunches in concentration before she closes her eyes. “She’s on the balcony.”
I stand up straight. “You sure?”
“Yeah. I’m her best friend. I think I know where she disappeared to.”
I try not to be offended that Lily knows Ella better than me, and I certainly don’t wait for permission before I race down the hallway.
As I cross the giant room to the doors leading to the balcony, I accidentally bump into some people.
I flash a smile and move on as quickly as possible.
Once outside, I look around for Ella. It’s dark out here.
The moon is barely a sliver in the sky, and the candles on the high top tables do nothing to light up the space.
I speed walk up and down one side before starting on the other. Then, I spot her. She’s leaning up against the wrought iron rails that overlook the lake. Her face is turned down toward the dark scene below when I come up beside her.
“Go away,” she says, not looking at me.
“Can’t.”
She sighs and looks up at me. Even in the dark, I can see the unshed tears in her eyes. “Please, Connor. It’s just easier if you leave me alone.”
“Since when do I do what’s easy?” A corner of my mouth lifts in a small smile.
I’d hoped that it would lighten the mood, but Ella just stares at me with sad eyes.
She doesn’t say anything, but her expression pleads for me to walk away.
The only problem is that I wasn’t lying when I said I can’t.
Now that I know how funny and smart and kind she is, how can I pretend that I don’t care?
I need her to know how I feel about her. “We need to talk.”
“About what?” She looks back down at her feet.
“About what happened in there.” She still won't look at me. I worry that my voice won’t convey how important she is. I need her to see the earnestness in my expression. I reach out and lift her chin so that she’s looking at me. “About us.”
She steps back and shakes her head. “Sure, let’s talk about us.
And when we’re done, we can talk about Citrus Scholar.
And college. Maybe we can talk about all the reasons there shouldn’t be an us and why it’s better for you to turn around and go back inside before we hurt each other more than we have to. ”
“No, no, no.” I close the distance she put between us. “We don’t have to hurt each other.”
A single tear runs down her cheek. “It’s going to happen.”
I reach out and wipe the tear away. “Maybe it doesn’t have to.”
She blinks at me like she can’t understand the words that I’m saying.
“I like you, Ella.” I take a deep breath. “A lot. And I can’t stand the idea of not spending time with you because of Citrus Scholar or college. We don’t know who is going to get the scholarship, and we don’t have our college acceptance letters yet. Why would we punish ourselves for the unknown?”
“Because the unknown is going to hurt.”
“A lot of things hurt.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, come on. You know how hard things can be. Our families, school…life. It hurts for lots of reasons. We don’t get to choose so much of what we’re dealt.
We just have to go along with it.” I reach out and grab her hands.
I squeeze them to stop the shaking in my own.
“But we get to choose whether or not we want to spend time together. It might be painful at some point, but maybe it won’t. ”
“Connor—”
“Maybe we’ll end up at the same college.”
“You know I’m trying to go out-of-state.”
“Well, I applied to some out-of-state schools, too.” I hadn’t told her before now because I didn’t want to freak her out, but every time she told me about a college she was applying to, I secretly added it to my CommonApp.
It’s not like I’m trying to stalk her or anything.
I won’t follow her to college if she doesn’t want me to, but my parents don’t care how many schools I apply to.
It’s as simple as clicking through a few screens and hitting submit.
Why wouldn’t I want to do that? If my relationship with Ella turns into something serious, I want to be prepared.
Her eyes widen. “Did you really?”
“What do you think?”
“Of course you did.”
The ghost of a smile touching her lips emboldens me. “And maybe Dr. Freck is so proud of us for getting along that we both get the scholarship. Or maybe they split it evenly. Or maybe you get a full-ride to an out-of-state school because you’re so smart.”
“Or maybe you’re the one who has to get the full-ride to an out-of-state school because I am so smart and I get Citrus Scholar.” Her smile turns playful.
Warmth courses through me, and I laugh. “In your dreams, Adams.”
She releases my hands to push my shoulder. “I guess we’ll see.”
“But that’s what I’m trying to say. We can figure this out. We don’t have to break up out of fear of the future.”
Ella’s smile falls. “Break up?”