3. Chapter Three #2
After Matteo sits, Gabriel stands, holding his champagne glass as well.
“To peace. This marriage – this union – will bring that for all of us. Let us never forget that.” He makes a pointed look at my father, who nods his head, even though he looks glum.
“May you two be happy for your entire marriage. For peace to happen.” That’s pointed at Matteo.
Unlike my father, Matteo doesn’t respond.
He only calmly gazes back at Gabriel like he doesn’t have any worries.
My fiancé is a bold man, I realize. To stand in the home of the mafia man he tried to wrong. He’s not scared of anything, is he?
Which means I should be scared of him. If he’s willing to do anything then what will happen to me?
That thought makes my stomach wrench and the urge to vomit hits me.
“Excuse me,” I mutter, getting to my feet and practically running out of the room. I make to the bathroom and throw up in the sink. It’s not a lot and it doesn’t help my upset stomach.
I should be happy. Every mafia girl wants to be married. To have honor and respect through her husband.
So why am I not happy?
A knock at the door makes me gasp.
“It’s me.” Matteo.
I swish my mouth with water before opening the door a crack. “I’m currently using the bathroom. Please leave me alone.”
“You ran out of the room like death was chasing you. I had to see if you were all right.”
“You care if I’m all right? I thought I was your second choice. You wanted Emma, if I recall.”
“It wasn’t Emma herself I wanted. It was the fact that she was promised to me and Gabriel went back on his word. But now you’re promised to me and I don’t intend to let you go. So if you’re thinking about running, Luciana, then think again.”
I frown. “I wasn’t going to run.”
“You ran out of the dining room.”
“Yes. To throw –,” I stop myself. It’s not proper for a woman to talk about vomit in front of her soon-to-be husband.
He raises an eyebrow. “Yes?”
“Nothing,” I mutter. My cheeks feel like they’re on fire. “I just needed a moment to myself. I’m not planning on running. I know what this marriage entails. Peace for my family. For my father. If I don’t marry you, you might kill him. Am I correct in assuming that?”
“You are correct.” He steps into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.
Alone with Matteo again. Soon, I’ll be alone with him every day.
Why does that make my heart squeeze in panic and also make my stomach flutter at the same time?
“I will kill your father if you don’t marry me.
I agreed to this marriage for peace. So did your father.
So did Gabriel. I would suggest you don’t try and ruin it. That would be a good idea.”
“I wasn’t going to run.”
“You don’t like me,” he comments, looking me up and down. It’s so… clinical.
“I don’t really know you. How can I dislike a stranger?”
“You don’t like me but you’re too polite to say, is that it? How good are you really, Luciana? How proper of a mafia daughter are you?”
“I am very proper,” I say hotly. “Don’t insult me by asking.”
“Have you ever kissed anyone?”
I flinch, stepping back. “How dare you ask that of me. Why does that matter?”
He shrugs. “It doesn’t. I don’t care if a woman is a virgin or not. I am just trying to figure out how much you have done. Since we’ll be married tomorrow. And then it will be our wedding night.”
The thought of my wedding night sends an icy chill down my body. “Are you going to hurt me? Is that why you’re asking?”
“I told you I won’t beat you.”
“But will you… expect things on our wedding night?”
“We have to be properly married, Luciana. For peace. We can’t give anyone a reason for an annulment.”
“I have to give my body to you?”
“Isn’t that what you were taught?”
I swallow hard. Matteo isn’t wrong. I was taught to give my entire being to my future husband. But that was when it was just a fantasy I’d be married one day. Now it’s a reality.
“Am I that repulsive?” he asks, tilting his head to the side. “Do you think I’m disgusting?”
“No,” I answer honestly.
“Is that a lie? With you, I cannot tell. You’re just so… well, proper.”
“No,” I whisper. “You don’t repulse me.” It’s the truth. Matteo is distractingly handsome.
“So why do you seem so bothered by the thought of us spending our wedding night together?”
“Because you’re a bad man. You tried to kill Leo Detti. You kidnapped his wife. How am I supposed to just act like that didn’t happen?”
“You don’t because it did happen. But it’s in the past. I don’t regret it. I am a man who keeps to my word and I punish anyone who doesn’t keep to their word. As long as you keep your word to me, Luciana, we’ll have no problems.”
“I don’t trust you,” I admit. “And a marriage should be built on trust.”
“Our marriage is built on the need for peace and that’s all that matters. So don’t try and run. I’ll only catch you. You are to be mine, Luciana. Mine.”
I suck in a breath. His claim to me makes me feel lightheaded. Scared and… secretly excited. None of it makes any sense.
“And you are to be mine,” I breathe out.
“Yes. Once we’re married. I expect you to see you at the church tomorrow. If you don’t, well….”
“You’ll kill my father, won’t you?”
He leans in close to my ear, making me gasp. “I won’t lose another woman promised to me. Remember that.” He pulls away and leaves the bathroom.
I slump against the counter, catching my breath. If I thought Matteo was a bad man before, I know he’s pure evil. He casually threatened to kill my father’s life without even blinking. What kind of cold hearted man do I have to marry?
I stare at myself in the mirror. My perfect makeup and softly curled hair. I look like a doll. A doll with no say in my own life.
The urge to run hits me. To run and never look back.
But then Matteo would kill my father and that would kill me. I have to do what I must to save his life. I have to help create peace.
Don’t crack, I remind myself. Matteo sure won’t be the one to break so I can’t break either.
I am getting married tomorrow and I must accept that. This is my future.
I leave the bathroom and run into my father.
“Luciana. I was coming to check on you. You left in a such a hurry and didn’t return. Did Matteo try something with you?”
With a gasp, I throw my arms around my dad and hold him close. After a beat, he wraps me in his arms, squeezing me so hard that it hurts.
But I don’t complain. This might be the last time I get the chance to feel like a little girl and for once, I want to hold onto it for dear life.