Chapter 7
Benny insists that I head upstairs and get some rest, and I don’t argue with him. The heaviness from the last two days is bone-deep and as leaden in my limbs as it is in my mind. As such, I’m already lightly dozing when Benny steps into the room with a tray of food.
‘I probably spilt some,’ he says as he places the tray down on the table in front of the fireplace. ‘Summer insisted she be the one to bring it to you. I basically had to sprint up the stairs.’
‘Thanks.’ I offer a weak smile. A large part of me is tempted to stay in bed and sleep, but that’s hardly fair, given all the effort Summer and Benny have gone to, so I heave myself up and into the chair.
‘Have you eaten yet?’ I ask.
‘Not yet. I’ve got a big bowl waiting downstairs for me though.’
‘And Kay?’ Her name causes a twist in my heart.
She married Jonas without even thinking to discuss it with me. It’s no different from her previous plan with Artur, but it’s just another confirmation of how fractured our relationship has grown.
‘Summer took her some food,’ Benny reassures me. His eyes catch on something on the wall behind me and widen, and my stomach clenches. Shit.
I already know what he’s spotted.
‘Rose, honey, what the fuck happened there?’
Twisted ivy vines weave through the decimated brickwork, holding the wall upright.
To anyone else, the greenery might suggest the Goddess’s magic at work.
But the gaping crack in the masonry is far wider than the vines, and with Benny’s gift for spotting the fault line in anything, he knows some other force was behind the damage.
All the same, I attempt to brush it away. ‘Oh, that’s nothing, just some old cracks,’ I say casually while scooping up a spoonful of hot stew, hoping my nonchalance will cause him to drop the matter.
It doesn’t.
‘No, it’s not.’ He walks over to the wall and brushes his fingers against it. ‘The dust is still settling. This happened recently. I’m guessing this morning or last night at the latest.’ Damn Benny and his clever eyes. He looks at me sombrely. ‘Another magical accident?’
I give up the pretence. ‘I’ll get a hold of it,’ I tell him. ‘I’m just tired, that’s all.’
He purses his lips and doesn’t say anything for a moment. ‘You’re right. You will. And like I said when I arrived – I’m not Llinos, but I’m always here if you want to talk, you know?’ he offers awkwardly.
I nod. ‘I do. And back at you, too. I know you must miss her as well.’
A weak smile curls his lips. ‘I miss them all,’ he says sadly before moving to the door and blowing me a kiss. ‘Sleep well, Rose.’
Sleep is fitful. I toss and turn, and more than once I get out of bed, leave the room, and stand outside Acacia’s door, not sure if I want to curl up in the bed next to her or scream at her for all her stupid actions.
In the end, I do neither, instead returning to my own bed, wishing there was some way to make it feel a little less empty.
I insist that I will not think of Kyor, yet despite myself, phantom touches ghost around my body, as if he is holding me to him like he did so many times.
And will never do again.
I tell myself the tears are borne from exhaustion.
By the time I finally give up trying to eke out any more than a few feeble hours of sleep, the first slivers of light are creeping over the High Hold’s walls.
With a robe over my shoulders, I head downstairs, the sound of clattering pans audible even from the top of the stairs.
But while Summer’s presence in the kitchen comes as little surprise, the items which cover the tabletop are definitely unexpected.
‘Gifts for the gifted,’ Summer explains as she sees me staring at the hampers on the table in front of us. ‘Some were dropped off yesterday after you left, and a couple came this morning.’
‘From whom?’ I ask, peering into one of the closest ones.
‘The lords and ladies of the court. They each have name tags.’
A quick look around the one I’m already studying shows me she’s right. An elegant cursive tag reads: From Lord and Lady Ross.
I’ve no idea who they are.
In fact, I still don’t recognise any of the names that I’m scanning through when Benny appears.
‘Wondered when you were going to get to these,’ he says. ‘You know, there’s aquavit in a couple.’ He reaches over and takes a bottle. ‘If you’re not going to …’
I drag a grin onto my face. ‘Be my guest. Take anything you want. You too, Summer,’ I tell her. ‘Take as much as you want.’ The truth is that the sight of these luxuries is enough to make my skin crawl.
How stupid is it that when I was starving in the slums, unsure how I’d find enough food for Kay for the day, none of these lords or ladies were anywhere to be found? But now, when I already have everything I need, they’re sending enough to feed a village.
As I pick the bottle of spirits out of the hamper, I unscrew the top, take a sniff, and cough on the fumes. The sudden spasm causes pain to sear beneath my ribs.
‘You okay?’ Benny asks, concern flashing across his face.
‘Yeah,’ I reply, screwing the lid back on. ‘I hate these things. Summer?’ The maid turns to look at me. ‘I assume you have friends in the High Hold. Maids? Servants?’
She nods. ‘Yes, m’lady, but I would never—’
I wave away whatever her comment was going to be. ‘Please, take anything you think they would like from this lot. We have no need for any of this.’
Her eyes widen. ‘Are you sure, m’lady?’
‘Yes, absolutely. And the sooner the better.’
As much as I want to send food out to the slums, rich pates, expensive spices, and alcohol aren’t what they need. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t deserving people who won’t enjoy them more than the lords that sent them.
‘Thank you, m’lady. I’ll get them cleared after breakfast.’
Said breakfast is well underway. Muffins and rolls are already piled up on top of the oven, eggs are boiling in a pan, and Summer has just started whipping what I assume is some kind of cream cheese when the doorbell chimes.
My skin bristles. Jonas.
‘I’m guessing that’s your brother-in-law?’ Benny teases in response to my stormy expression.
‘Don’t,’ I tell him. ‘It’s not funny.’
‘I’ll get the door!’ Kay yells from upstairs before her footsteps thunder down the steps, drawing yet another grimace from me.
‘I guess I should leave you to it,’ Benny says, standing up. Part of me wants to ask him to stay. It would be easier to face the pair of them with him by my side to add a bit of rationality to the situation, but I can’t. Because of William.
I still don’t know what, if anything, Jonas has told Kay about our brother; whether he’s risked Florian’s identity further by telling my hapless sister exactly who’s been living with her these past few moons. But if he hasn’t said anything, I won’t be the one to reveal the secret.
My brother is alive because people don’t know who he is. I intend to keep it that way.
‘Summer, can you take those baskets now, please?’ I tell the maid as she dowses the now-boiled eggs in cold water. ‘And take your time with them.’
She meets my eye with a look of understanding. She knows that I am asking for privacy, and given how she suggested taking gladden root only yesterday, I am confident that she will give it to me.
‘Of course, m’lady. I will just put them in bags so that they are easier to carry.’
Ever the gentleman, Benny surges to his feet. ‘I’ll help you.’
I wish the Wrohelm lords were raised as well as they clearly are in the Eastern Isles.
I. Will. Not. Think. Of. Kyor.
Within a few minutes they have packed up as much as Summer can feasibly carry in one trip, and Benny is heading out of the house with her.
Meaning I have no choice. It’s time I face the newlyweds.
I can hear the chattering coming from the same room we spoke in the night before – the drawing room. I can’t help but wonder if Jonas chose it because it’s close to the front of the house so he can make a quick exit if he needs to.
The thought would be amusing if it actually helped him. The truth is that it doesn’t matter how close he is to the door if the ice magic decides to rear its head again.
Summer won’t be flying into the room with a pan in her hand this time either. Though maybe now that Kay’s magic has returned, she’ll be able to stop me. Maybe.
Nerves churn through my stomach. Has Jonas already confessed to his father that he stole his bride? Has William seen the rings on his fingers, completely unaware that the woman he will now think of as his sister-in-law is in fact his actual sister?
There’s no way I can know any of those things until I go in there and speak to them.
My hands clench and unclench as I stand outside the door, trying to make sure there’s none of that now scarily familiar chill flooding through my veins. Not that it will make a difference when it comes on so fast anyway.
Still, I’m as calm as I’m going to get considering the fact I’m fucking furious, and hanging around in my own hallway isn’t going to make it any better. So with one last sharp breath in, I step into the drawing room and find them sitting there next to one another, thighs touching.
Jonas immediately jumps to his feet, and my eyes are once again drawn to those three rings on his hand.
‘And here I was hoping it was just a shitty dream,’ I say drily, feeling weary.
‘You wanted a solution that wasn’t marrying Artur,’ Kay spits without preamble, ‘and Jonas found it.’
My back teeth grind. ‘Marrying him instead?’
‘Exactly.’ She folds her hands primly in her lap, her wedding rings proudly on display. The absurdity of it stokes flames in my blood.
‘You don’t even know each other!’ The words burst out of me.
Kay rolls her eyes. ‘I thought your issue was with me marrying Artur? Because of his age. Jonas is significantly younger. Problem solved.’
I close my eyes and force myself to breathe deeply.
When I open my eyes again, I make a concerted effort to keep my tone level.
‘I entered the Retterheld for you, Kay. To give you a future. The future you deserve. I wanted you to have the opportunity to marry for love. Or not marry, if that’s what you wanted.
Not just marry someone because it fixes a problem.
That’s not what I wanted for you at all. ’
‘But what about what I want?’ Kay snaps back. She closes her eyes for a moment, as if searching for patience.
You and me both, sister.
Kay takes a deep breath and opens her eyes, only to let out a long sigh.
‘What I wanted was a place at court and a family of my own. And now I’ll have both.
I have a place here, and not just as the sister of the gifted.
One day, I’ll be Lady Lorathin.’ She says it with pride, and I want to bite my tongue. She should be proud to be a Kultavaris.
‘I’ll be happy, Rose,’ Kay says with the full confidence of the na?ve. ‘With Jonas. I can feel it.’
With a smile so saccharine my mouth floods with bitterness, she places her hand in Jonas’s and gazes up at him. He settles down next to her once more, and her eyes warm. The preposterousness of the situation is almost enough to make me laugh.
Or cry.
Unable to look at her any longer, I turn my attention back to Jonas.
‘Who else knows of this sham?’ I ask. ‘Did you tell your father?’
‘He was asleep when I got back last night,’ Jonas replies. ‘And left before breakfast. But William …’ He falls irritatingly silent.
‘But William what?’ I snap. He can’t mention my brother and then just leave things hanging, letting my mind whir. ‘What about William? He knows? Is that what you’re saying?’
A gust of wind billows from outside, strong enough to blow the window ajar, but I make no movement to close it. I’m not going anywhere until Jonas gives me his answer.
‘No, he doesn’t know, I don’t think. I wasn’t wearing my rings. But he could tell something was up at breakfast this morning. It’s fine though. I just gave some excuse about being tired after finishing the Retterheld, you know?’
I don’t know. What I want is his exact wording to our brother, but before I can say as much, Kay interrupts.
‘I don’t get what the issue is. We’re married. It’s a perfectly reasonable pairing and people will find out about our nuptials soon enough. We plan to make an announcement at the next ball.’
Of course she’s already thinking of the damned balls.
‘Did he tell you he proposed to me once?’ I spin to face her again. ‘Did he tell you what he’s done to our family?’
Kay’s nose rises into the air. ‘If you’re talking about William, then yes, he told me everything.’ The window beats again as the wind rattles the pane, but I don’t so much as glance at it. All my attention is on my younger sister, who is busy ruining her life.
‘I think it was caring of him, actually,’ she continues. ‘Kind of him not to tell you during the Retterheld so that it didn’t upset your chances in the trials.’
What the actual fuck? Kind of him?
Kay doesn’t look shell-shocked by the fact that our brother is alive, nor does she look annoyed by the deception that has shaped the last decade of our lives. Her feigned casualness riles my anger to full-fledged fury.
‘How can you pretend like it’s no big deal? How can you say that so calmly?’ I snarl. ‘You sit there, with your hands folded on your fucking lap, with your pretty rings, like we’re talking of the Godsforsaken weather!’
‘Rose …’ Jonas says, his tone a warning I don’t need. I can already see that my breath is clouding and ice crystals are forming on several surfaces.
Maybe I should stop. Back off. But Kay needs to hear this. And she comes first. Always.
‘We thought Florian was dead, Acacia. Mum and Dad, they died mourning him. Do you not understand that? Do you not understand how much this impacts our lives? What our lives could have been?’
‘Our lives—’
‘Dad drank himself to death because of his broken heart,’ I cut across her, refusing to hear another word from her mouth until she hears everything I have to say. ‘His heart that would have been perfectly fine if we’d known our brother was alive and well in the High Hold the entire time.’
‘He thought—’ she breaks in weakly.
But I give her no time to offer paltry platitudes. There is no excuse for this, and she needs to understand that.
I plough on even as my breath fogs the air. ‘You understand that William is our brother, right? You have been spending every day with our brother, and Jonas hid it from you! From us!’
The draught-riddled window strikes again, but this time, it’s not just a rattle. It’s a full-on bang as the entire pane swings inwards with such force that the hinges are ripped from the frame.
What the hell?
Glass sprays around us and I jump to my feet and stare at the space where the window had once been.
Everything inside me sinks, my eyes fixed solely on the person who stands on the other side of the gaping hole.
His eyes are wide and tear-filled as his lips tremble.
‘I’m your brother?’ William whispers into the silence.