Chapter 13 #3
‘I can travel as far as Galreck,’ Benny says quietly. ‘I’m sorry I can’t go all the way. But the Isles … my mother—’
‘It’s fine. I wasn’t expecting you to be able to come,’ I reply truthfully. Benny has far more important obligations than babysitting a liability of a friend.
‘But I can come to Galreck,’ he repeats. ‘I have people I could do with seeing there anyway.’
The thought of him accompanying me warms me, and perhaps I am weak, but I do not try too hard to dissuade him. ‘Only if you’re sure?’
‘I am.’
‘Thank you,’ I murmur. The words are hardly enough to express my heartfelt gratitude.
‘I’ll come with you as well,’ Jonas says, then downs the glass of wine in front of him.
‘No,’ I say sharply. ‘Your place isn’t with me. Not anymore. It’s with Kay.’
‘I’ll come too,’ Kay says, but her voice is weak and everything in her body language is screaming that she would rather do anything than travel with me to meet the Issen.
I grin at her. ‘Your magic isn’t an issue, Kay.
Thanks to Mum’s tonic, it’s still suppressed.
And William’s marks are still hidden. For now.
’ I look at him. ‘You need to do everything in your power to keep them that way. I’m the only liability.
You can both stay here, safe in Wrohelm.
I’ll learn what I can and come back and teach you.
I’ll find a way to stop the pattern spreading.
’ I look at Kay. ‘In the meantime, you just stay here and concentrate on keeping my nephew or niece safe and healthy.’
Her bottom lip trembles. Nephew or niece. It’s the first time I’ve called the baby that, and it lands, not just on her but on me.
I’ve been thinking in terms of Kay being pregnant, and somehow my mind hasn’t yet accepted that she will have a baby. That she will be a mother.
I already know what a good mother she will be. She’s utterly brilliant with kids.
‘I’ll come too,’ William says stubbornly, but unlike when the others offered to join me, it’s not relief I feel but fear.
And judging by the way his jaw locks – in an expression that is uncannily familiar – he can tell.
‘I’m just as much Issen as you are. I have a right to go. And I’m the one with this.’
He lifts his shirt again, and it takes all my strength not to grimace. Not at the sight of it, but at what it means. The added risk it places him under.
‘No.’ I shake my head. Only once but with absolute certitude.
‘I’m not willing to negotiate on this. It’s too dangerous and you’re too young.
And most importantly, we can’t explain away you going with me, not without exposing who you really are.
And we can’t risk that. If Korvane finds out that you didn’t die, that his orders weren’t carried out fourteen years ago, then he’ll rectify the situation immediately.
’ I hate to spell it out for him like this, but he needs to understand the depth of the danger he faces.
Frustration flashes in William’s eyes, and I’m cruelly relieved to see fear there too.
Fear is good. Fear keeps us safe, and fear will keep him safe.
‘I’m not finally finding my real family only to lose them again,’ he protests.
‘You’re not losing your real family,’ Kay promises. ‘You’ll still have me.’ She pauses. ‘If I’m enough.’
There’s vulnerability in her eyes and William can’t help but offer her a gentle smile. ‘Of course you’re enough, Acacia.’
She nods, but she doesn’t look convinced.
‘That’s it then. Apparently it’s all been decided for us.
’ Her voice is bitter. ‘William, Jonas, and I will remain here and paint a picture of how normal life is, while Rose and her little gang go north to face the Issen.’ She stands, and her bottom lip trembles as her eyes meet mine.
‘You go off on your adventure, Rose. Fight your monsters. And once again I’ll stay here, praying you come back alive. ’
With that, she turns on her heel and stalks out of the room. To my surprise, I don’t even blame her. She’s right. About all of it. I have to find the Issen and hope like hell that they’re not as barbaric as we’ve been told our whole lives.
I have to go and risk my life again. But I don’t envy her staying here, waiting in fear. Gods know, I couldn’t do it.
As the hard echo of the door slamming resonates around the room, Jonas rises to follow her.
‘I should make sure she’s all right,’ he says.
Rightly so, I think as I watch him leave, though none of us respond.
Jonas shuts the door with a gentle click, but it feels like he closes something else between us. His position in my life is no longer by my side. He is no longer my friend, my once paramour; instead, he is now and forever my sister’s husband.
Some lines, once crossed, can never be uncrossed.
My mind remains with my sister, with Kay. It isn’t right, leaving her again, not when I promised the Retterheld would be the last time, but it’s either leave or be the reason we all lose our lives. There isn’t a third option here.
‘So when do we go?’ Benny asks.
‘Soon,’ I reply.
Before I can lose my nerve.