Chapter 15
ALEX
J ared stormed off, and I was hot on his trail until Aiden stepped in front of me.
“Leave him alone. He needs to cool off,” Aiden snapped and crossed his arms.
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
“If you need to hook up, fine. Just don’t do it in front of Jared. You know how he feels about you.”
“I wasn’t about to hook up with Reed, for fuck’s sake.”
“You didn’t tell him to back off either,” Aiden growled.
I shook my head. “I was trying to be polite and avoid an awkward scene. Unlike you, I don’t blurt out every thought that runs through my mind. And I can speak for myself. I don’t need you to come to my rescue.”
Aiden stepped closer, so close I could see the flecks of green and gold in his eyes. “He was touching you. And you let him.”
“So?”
“Don’t play dumb.”
“Say what you mean to and then get out of my way.”
“Jared wasn’t the only one upset,” Aiden growled. “I didn’t like Reed touching you.”
“I didn’t like it either. But he’s drunk, and I was trying to avoid a scene.”
“You’re causing one now.”
Dylan’s sudden voice startled me.
Aiden and I turned around to face him.
“You guys are practically yelling. Maybe go inside if you need to have a private discussion? And they say actors are overly dramatic,” Dylan muttered as he shook his head and walked away.
“He’s right. But this conversation is over,” I snapped.
I walked around Aiden and entered the hallway to the lounge, but halfway down he grabbed my arm. I turned and shoved him up against the wall.
Our bodies slammed into each other, and a different kind of tension unleashed. I fought the urge to run my hand down Aiden’s back. To lean in and taste his skin.
But Aiden’s sharp inhale made me pause.
Fuck, what was I doing?
I let go and stood back.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Aiden slowly turned around to face me, his breath short and choppy.
“I grabbed you first, so I had it coming.”
“There’s no excuse…you…you need to be careful around me.”
“Careful around you? What the fuck does that mean?” Aiden asked as he stepped closer. “Alex?”
“I’m trained for combat. I’ve done things you can’t imagine. I…I’m not worthy,” I muttered and pivoted, heading down the hallway.
I needed to hit the treadmill or a punching bag. Something, anything.
Before the pressure valve that was my heart was ready to explode.
“You would never hurt me,” Aiden replied, following me. “Or Jared.”
“Not intentionally,” I whispered. “Now please just let me check on him.”
“Text him first.”
I did and showed him Jared’s response.
He wanted to be left alone, and I didn’t blame him. I was feeling the exact same way.
“I’m going to the gym,” I muttered.
“This conversation isn’t over.”
“Isn’t it? What more is there to say?”
Aiden was silent, his eyes filled with an angst that I recognized.
I walked back to my room and got changed, then headed for the gym.
It was rude of me to just walk out on the dinner party like that, but I didn’t care.
I hopped on the treadmill first, cranking up the machine and running until a stomach cramp had me doubling over ten minutes later.
Serves me right for exercising on a full stomach.
I slowed down and walked instead, until I reached five kilometers. I was sweating enough that my shirt was soaked through, so I took it off, wiped the machine down, and headed for the punching bag in the far corner of the room.
Rowan had spared no expense on his yacht, and the gym was built with every machine and piece of equipment you could think of.
I grabbed a pair of boxing gloves from the rack nearby and slipped them on. Then I gave that bag a workout like it hadn’t seen. Ever.
One punch. One-two.
Again.
With every strike, their names echoed in my mind.
Aiden. Jared.
Jared. Aiden.
I released my frustration over something I wanted so badly but shouldn’t.
Every time my fist connected with the bag, the rush was satisfying. I welcomed the burn. It wasn’t like a good round of sex, but it would do.
I heard the door open behind me, but I kept going. Faster, harder.
“Just when I thought you couldn’t get any sexier.”
I jolted at the sound of Aiden’s voice and my hand nearly missed the fucking bag.
“What do you want, Aiden? You didn’t come in here to flirt with me,” I panted, finally stopping and turning around.
He gave me a thorough once-over, lingering on my chest, and I self-consciously rubbed off the sweat that trickled over my tattooed skin.
“No, I didn’t,” he replied and finally met my gaze, a serious expression on his face. “I want to know why you think you’re not worthy. Worthy of what?”
The door opened again, and Jared walked in, dressed in his running shorts and a t-shirt.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you guys were here. I’ll leave.”
“Don’t,” Aiden replied. “Your timing is perfect. Alex was just about to tell me why he insists he’s not worthy.”
“What does that mean?” Jared asked and walked over to me.
“That’s what I want to know. We were arguing, and I grabbed Alex’s arm to stop him from walking away. Then he pinned me to the wall. He didn’t hurt me. Quite the opposite in fact. But now he’s punishing himself for no bloody reason other than he likes to be a martyr,” Aiden bit out.
“I have a temper,” I snapped. “And I’m stronger than you. I could’ve hurt you.”
“Rubbish. You did not and you would not.”
“How do you know?” I grabbed a towel and wiped off my face, then sat on a nearby bench.
“What do you really know about me, eh? I wasn’t lying. I’m trained to fight, to kill. You have no idea what I’m capable of. No idea.”
“I have some idea,” Aiden replied as he stood in front of me.
“I know that you were given the Commemorative Medal for outstanding bravery. That you saved several colleagues when you were under attack in Aleppo and, in the process, were injured by shrapnel. You’re a fucking hero, Alex.
That’s what you are. So you claiming to be unworthy is utter bullocks. ”
I stood up. “How did you know about all that?”
“My PI dug into your background. I had to do it in preparation for the trial.”
“And when were you going to tell me?” I growled. “Let me guess, never?”
Jared looked at Aiden. “You should’ve told him, Aiden. That’s not fair.”
“I was planning on it, but I was waiting for the right time.”
“Too fucking late,” I grumbled.
“If I’d asked you personal questions, would you have answered them?”
I met Aiden’s question with silence.
“Exactly. Getting information out of you is like pulling blood from a stone.”
“Well, since you know so much about me, you know that I was dropped into war zones. I pulled the trigger and killed people. There, that’s who I am. I watched colleagues get injured and tortured and killed. My own mates. I lost my best mate. The man I?—”
I shoved the towel in my face, tears threatening. A scream that wanted release.
Ben.
“Ben Locklear,” Aiden whispered.
“Don’t speak his name!” I roared into the towel.
Then my tears fell unheeded, my body racked with sobs. The last time I cried was at his funeral five years ago.
Ben.
I couldn’t move and the tears wouldn’t stop. I sat there, finally letting go of the towel, and stared at the floor.
“Alex? Alex, say something.”
I heard my name called but it sounded muffled, far away.
“Alex?”
“We need to get him back to his bedroom, he doesn’t look well,” Jared added.
But I couldn’t get up. My legs were numb.
Then I felt Aiden and Jared on either side of me, lifting me.
I was walking but my feet were weighted, and every step was difficult.
The next thing I knew, I was back in my bathroom, sitting on the toilet, while the shower was running.
“Do you need us to arrange a medic?” Aiden asked and I shook my head.
“No doctors,” I replied, barely recognizing the sound of my own voice.
“We’re going to help you into the shower and then into bed so you can rest,” Jared whispered. “Can you stand up?”
I reached out my hands and Jared and Aiden took them, helping me up. They guided me into the shower, Aiden in just his shorts.
I stepped under the hot spray and shivered as the water washed away my sweat and tears. Too bad it couldn’t wash away the pain that lived inside me.
Before I knew it, I was wrapped up in a heated towel and gently guided to bed.
“Maybe we should tell George to get a doctor on board,” Aiden suggested.
“No doctor,” I managed to reply. “My medication. It’s on the nightstand. One pill.”
Jared placed a pill in my hand and handed me a glass of water. After swallowing the medication, I lay down.
“Close your eyes. Aiden and I will be here in case you need us.”
Jared’s deep voice was soothing. And the knowledge that he and Aiden were staying with me, that I wasn’t alone, gave me a comfort I hadn’t felt in years.
I closed my eyes and escaped into my dreams.