Chapter 18
CHARLIE
CHRISTMAS DAY
I woke Kiernan up for a change.
We were back in our cabin, in that tiny bunk.
We had time for morning kisses and mutual handjobs. Then we collapsed on the mattress, sticky and sweaty but oh so good.
“Happy Christmas,” Kiernan whispered.
“Happy Christmas,” I returned and leaned up for another kiss.
But we didn’t have the luxury of more play time. Our phones began to buzz with notifications. Alarms, text messages, social media notifications.
We got up, showered, and changed.
Kiernan video-called his mum and brother, and I did the same with my family.
At one point we both said hi to each other’s relatives.
It wasn’t a formal intro, but then, we hadn’t talked about what was going to happen when Kiernan’s time on board was done, and where our relationship was going to go next.
I assumed Kiernan hadn’t told his mum about us, since he introduced me as his friend.
Me? I’d texted my brother, Travis, a few days ago and told him what was going on. Then, after our call today, he texted me again.
Based in Tampa, Trav was a race car driver, and at twenty-seven, he was one of the best in the state.
Now he was making a name for himself on a national level, and I couldn’t be prouder.
Even though I was the older sibling, that didn’t mean I was always wiser.
I still looked to him as a sounding board.
Trav was brutally honest, and never shy with an opinion about anything.
Our last text message exchange was the most we’d talked in the past month. With his racing schedule and my travels, it was difficult. And he had a girlfriend that traveled the circuit as his PR rep, so he was always busy.
But, as always, our back and forth gave me the kind of confidence I’d been lacking for a bit.
Travis: So, you really like Kiernan? He seems like a great guy.
He’s turned out to be my best friend. And more.
I’m so happy for you, Char.
But he’s not out to his mum yet. Or his friends. What if he changes his mind? Being together on the ship is one thing. Being out in public is a totally different story. He has no idea what comes next.
You told me his brother is queer, so he has some idea.
Yeah, but it’s different when it’s you. I mean, he’s kinda shy. And being openly queer means people scrutinize you all the time. What if he freaks out and changes his mind? I don’t know if I can go back to being friends. I think I love him.
You think?
I love him, okay? I know it, but it fucking scares me to think it. And say it.
I drive fast cars for a living, so I know all about fear. You gotta embrace it. It makes you feel alive. Even if you get hurt, it’s so much better than playing it safe.
Spoken like a true adrenaline junkie… thanks.
Once the craziness of Christmas is over, talk to your man.
There’s also the long-distance thing.
I can’t speak to that. If you want him, you gotta talk. Figure shit out.
Merry Christmas, brother. Love you.
Love you too.
Kiernan headed out of our cabin first.
Finally.
I still had his Christmas card to write and because we were always together, I hadn’t found a moment alone to get it done.
His gifts were wrapped and ready.
I knew how much Kiernan loved dogs, but unfortunately, a puppy was out of the question. At this point. Instead, I made an online donation to a local animal shelter in Dublin, in his name.
And I also purchased a necklace.
We’d stopped at Tortola a few days ago and as soon as I saw it, I knew I had to buy it.
The necklace was made of triple braided leather and finished with an amber pendant.
Kiernan didn’t wear jewelry on the job, but he’d shown me pictures of him with friends back home, and he often wore bracelets, leather cuffs, and a necklace with a Celtic cross.
When I was in that jewelry store, that’s when I knew. That’s when it hit me.
I was transfixed by the color of the stone. It reminded me of his eyes.
And I realized in that moment that I had fallen in love with Kiernan. Probably since the moment we met four months ago. I just didn’t believe it could really happen.
But here we were.
Even if I’d been uncertain when this relationship started, my heart knew what it wanted all along.
Was it fast? Maybe. People have fallen in love in less time, I’m sure.
Was it right? Yes. Hell, yes.
And the thing was, I was certain he felt the same way.
The fear was still there at the surface, but my brother was right.
I was ready to dive in.
And I hoped that Kiernan would take my hand and jump with me.
Kiernan
With a stunning sunset behind us, and a feast in front of us, the Carter family and crew settled in for Christmas dinner.
Rowan stood at the head of the table, with one arm around Andrew and the other with a raised glass.
“I’d like to make a toast. First off, thank you all for being here over the Christmas holiday.
There’s nothing more important to Andrew and me than our family, and that includes everyone here at this table. ”
“Cheers to that!”
“Sláinte!”
Over the din of cheers, Rowan continued. “As everyone knows, Andrew and I met on this ship at Christmas when he came to work for me. And so, this holiday is extra special and holds many memories.”
“Especially the office upstairs,” Aiden yelled out.
Andrew laughed and shook his head. “As my husband was saying, this holiday, and everyone here, is special to us. And that’s why… that’s why?—”
Andrew coughed and shook his head, his eyes watering.
Rowan smiled. “That’s why we are beyond happy to tell you all that there will be an addition to this family. Andrew and I have found a surrogate. We’re expecting a baby girl in five months!!”
Yells, cheers, and even a scream—from Rowan’s mum—rang out as everyone got up and congratulated the pair on their news.
“I knew it! I knew there was something big going on!” Rafe exclaimed. “Andrew kept tearing up and I was worried that he was suddenly allergic to Ro.”
“Never,” Andrew answered.
And yes, the tears were now freely flowing down his cheeks.
Rowan’s face too.
Looking around, everyone was teary-eyed and red-nosed. Even Aiden.
Once the excitement of the baby news settled, and all the hugs and congratulations were done, we sat down to dinner.
Chef Lisette and her wife and sous chef, Cassie, had prepared a British-American feast with prime rib, roast turkey, and the best gravy I’d ever tasted in my life.
Charlie and I got to sit side by side and even though conversation flowed all around us, it felt like we were the only two people in the room. I had a moment of melancholy, missing my mum and brother, but sharing this holiday with Charlie made it feel like I was at home.
After dinner, the group split up into fours to play cards.
Charlie and I begged off and agreed to meet up on the sun deck to exchange our presents.
I got there first, holding his gift in my damp hands. Fuck, I was sweating all over as I waited for him.
“Don’t crush my gift.”
I turned to find Charlie holding a glittery red bag.
“Another minute more and it might have happened,” I quipped.
He walked over to me and reached up, pulling me down for a languid kiss.
“Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispered.
It was the first time he’d used an endearment outside of the bedroom. It made my heart take off running and I swore it was about to fly out of my chest.
“Merry Christmas, luv,” I replied, my voice hoarse with emotion.
“Gifts, then cards,” he announced as we exchanged packages.
I opened the bag and discovered a rectangular box and an envelope. I tore open the letter first, and inside…
“You made a donation to an animal rescue center in my name?” I whispered.
“Yes. The shelter in your neighborhood. I know how much you love Ginger, and you really want a dog of your own, but in the meantime, this is the next best thing. This way, you’re still helping so many dogs and cats find good homes.”
“Thank you.”
My eyes were welling up and I blinked the tears away.
“Open yours,” I encouraged as I unwrapped the box.
“You first.”
“Charlie—”
I pulled away the paper and opened the lid.
A laugh bubbled up inside me when I realized what it was.
Serendipity.
I couldn’t believe he’d bought me a necklace. Pulling it out of the box, it was heavy and stunning, the braided leather ending with an amber pendant.
“Let me,” he said as he took the necklace.
I bent forward and he tied it around my neck.
“Gorgeous,” he claimed as he looked into my eyes.
“I love it,” I replied, cupping his face. “I?—”
Charlie silenced me with a kiss.
“Open yours,” I encouraged, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
He tore open the paper on the first gift.
“A dream catcher! It’s perfect.”
“It’s small enough that you can take it with you when you travel.”
“I love it so much!”
We kissed again.
“Open the other box.”
There was another gift I’d bought for him.
And it seemed that Charlie and I were on the same wavelength, because I bought him a necklace too.
He slowly opened the box and pulled out a thin, gold chain. Hanging from the necklace was a coin designed in the shape of a compass.
“Kiernan, this is so beautiful! And, oh my God, we bought our gifts at the same shop!”
Finally, I let out the laugh I’d been holding in. “Thankfully, not at the same time.”
He put the necklace on, and it looked perfect on him.
“Selfie!” Charlie urged and we stood side by side as we took pictures together. Then, Charlie kissed my cheek.
I turned my head and kissed him on the mouth. I kept tapping my phone to ensure I got that one.
“Screensaver,” I confessed. “I’m going to send this to my family and friends. If that’s okay?”
Charlie nodded, his expression serious. “Kiernan?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
A couple of years ago, it would’ve taken a lot of hard hits to knock me out.
It only took three words from Charlie.
I was winded, shocked, elated.
“I love you, too,” I whispered in return. “So fucking much, Charlie.”
The words poured out and so did the tears that followed. I couldn’t stop them.
In my blurry vision, I noticed Charlie’s eyes welling up too.
We held each other tightly.
And I was never letting go.