Chapter 19
CHARLIE
I loved Kiernan.
And I told him. I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that, but I figured, now or never.
And by some kind of Christmas miracle, he loved me too.
I had a boyfriend. Holy fucking shit…
My family and friends back home were never going to believe it. Then again, once they met and befriended Kiernan, it would be all too easy for them to understand why.
After more hugs and kisses, we lay down together on a lounger on the sun deck, staring up at the stars.
“You ready to go public?” he asked.
“Me? Yeah, but I’m already out,” I replied. “You don’t have to do this. There’s no rush.”
Kiernan wanted to call his mom back and tell her about us. And tell his friends.
He was adamant about coming out. But I wanted him to be sure that the time was right. I didn’t want him to have regrets. Not about himself, and not about us.
“I told you, I’m ready. My brother knows. And I want to tell Ma. I’m so happy and I hope she’ll be happy for me. For us.”
I squeezed his arms. “You know I support you all the way, baby.”
Kiernan trembled underneath me and I turned my head, concerned.
“You all right?”
“Call me ‘baby’ forever,” Kiernan whispered and squeezed me in return.
“So easy to please.”
“Yes, please me. I’m not above begging,” he quipped and nipped my neck.
Then he picked up his phone again and snapped another picture of the two of us.
“Exactly how many pictures do you need?” I teased.
He kissed his way up my neck, his hot breath making me shiver. “All of them.”
I pinched his arm and he yelped. “Ow, what was that for?”
“I’m making sure you’re real.”
Kiernan was done holding back now that we’d finally admitted how we felt about each other.
And who knew that me, of all people, would be a sucker for romance? Yeah, I said it. My man was romantic as fuck.
And I loved it. I loved him.
Nothing had ever felt as right as being in his arms.
“Here goes,” he whispered as he tapped his phone. “I’m going to video call Ma.”
Thirty seconds later, the strong Irish voice of Keltie Doyle boomed through the phone speaker.
“Kier, is everything all right?”
“Everything is great, Ma. I wanted to call back because I wanted to tell you something. Charlie isn’t my friend. He’s my boyfriend. I love him.”
There was a long pause.
“You could’ve said earlier,” she insisted.
“Well, Charlie and I talked after Christmas dinner. And now it’s official.”
Another pause.
“If you love him—and I can see by that enormous grin on your usually grumpy face that you do—then I love him for you, a ghrá. You know that. I did and do support Korry and his coming out and I’ll do the same for you. All I want is for you and your brother to live your lives and be happy.”
Kiernan bit his lip and nodded, his eyes welling up again. “Love you, Ma. Thank you.”
“There’s no thanks needed when it comes to our family. I love you always, Kiernan. You’re a special man and you deserve the same. I’m sure I’ll love Charlie too.”
I popped my head around to face the phone. Kiernan got his blonde hair and freckles from his mum.
“Hi again, Ms. Doyle.”
“None of that formality nonsense, Charlie. It’s Keltie.”
“Keltie,” I nodded. “I want to say that your son is amazing. The most sensitive, caring man I’ve ever met.”
“That’s so sweet, but now don’t go telling him that all the time or his ego will get as big as Korry’s,” she teased. “And I hope I’ll get to meet you in person, sometime soon.”
“I’d love that.”
“You boys enjoy the rest of your Christmas. I’m going to wake Korry from his post-dinner nap so we can exchange our gifts.”
“Yours is coming back home with me,” Kiernan replied.
“I can’t wait.”
His mum blew a kiss, and we said our goodbyes.
“Feel better?” I asked Kiernan.
“Hell yes. And now I’m ready to tell everyone else.”
“One step at a time. Remember that not everyone is going to react the same way.”
“I know. It was like that for my brother. Some friends and family were good, others weren’t. For those that don’t accept us, I have no use for them.”
I knew that was easier said than done.
Many of Kiernan’s friends were from the same circle as Alex, so I had no concerns there. But his mates from his fighting days?
I wondered how they would react. Worried, more like.
Settling back against Kiernan’s chest, I left those anxious thoughts aside for the time being.
I closed my eyes, savoring the peaceful moment.
Until a sudden boom exploded in the air around us, and I startled at the noise.
Next thing I knew, Kiernan had rolled us off the lounger and onto the deck, his larger body covering mine.
“What’s going on?” I gasped.
Bright colors burst all around us.
“Fuck, it’s fireworks,” Kiernan blurted out as he rolled his weight off me. “Sorry, sweetheart, for a moment there, I thought?—"
He ran a hand over his chest as he panted.
“What did you think it was?” I gasped as I turned over on my back, still too winded to get up.
“Dunno. Something not good.”
“Your protective instincts are next level.”
“That’s because you’re the only thing that matters.”
See? Romantic as fuck.
“My hero,” I leaned over and kissed him.
Red, and green sparklers exploded, filling up the sky with shimmering brilliance.
“What do we have here?”
Kiernan and I both looked up to find our party stepping onto the deck to watch the fireworks display.
Except, they were all looking at us, not at the sky.
“You know, the deck is really not the ideal place for that. Trust me. Splinters,” Rafe explained as he pointed to his ass.
“Oh God,” Kiernan rolled up to a sitting position and helped me do the same.
“That’s what I said to George, but it still didn’t make up for the pain of that wood in my arse. I mean, splinter. The splinter in my arse.”
Rafe chuckled with a wicked grin and George, who was standing beside him, shook his head.
“I guess now that everyone is here, we can tell them,” Kiernan suggested as he stood up and held out his hand for mine. He pulled me up to my feet and I slid one arm around his waist.
“Tell us what?”
Kiernan flushed as red as the Christmas decorations around us.
“We’ve been celebrating. Charlie and I are boyfriends,” Kiernan proudly announced.
Cheers and claps rang out around us.
Kiernan leaned down and kissed me. In front of everyone.
“Okay, so now do y’all believe me about the love spell?” Andrew asked out loud.
No one argued with that.
Kiernan
The sun deck turned into a dance floor, and we stayed up partying until two in the morning.
Charlie and I were floating on cloud nine.
And I’d documented every moment with my phone. Of course, my boyfriend teased me mercilessly about it.
God, I had a boyfriend. Calling him that had me flushed with excitement.
I couldn’t help it. And I couldn’t help but document every moment I had with him.
I needed to bring these memories home with me. And I wanted everyone to know how I felt about Charlie.
We stumbled into bed and oddly enough, he dropped off to sleep right away.
Me? I was too overloaded to wind down.
Perusing social media, I clicked on my account and then uploaded the picture of Charlie and I kissing on the lounger. Then I edited my profile info.
My fingers hovered over the share button for a second.
I pressed it and hoped for the best.
It didn’t take but a few seconds for likes, follows, and comments to populate. But I also watched as I lost followers and gained nasty comments. I had to block quite a few people.
And this was online. The reality of being out when I got back home was only beginning.
It’s true that I witnessed what Korry went through when he came out. But from a certain distance. It’s different when it’s your lived experience.
Charlie didn’t say it in so many words, but I knew that he worried about how I was going to handle things.
In social situations I was self-conscious and no doubt, when he and I did go out together, we would be scrutinized.
There were plenty of people who didn’t want to see gay couples (or throuples) being affectionate or getting married or having kids.
Some were quiet in their discomfort, staring or glaring or hiding behind their usernames.
Others were downright confrontational about how they felt.
In the beginning of my career, I used my fists to fight my battles. But it didn’t work out. Depression, anxiety, frustration over my personal life—it all let loose for a while, only to come roaring back again, stronger than ever.
And the only way I was going to create the life I wanted now, with Charlie, was to take care of myself. Falling in love was a beautiful gift, but it wouldn’t cure what ailed me.
And talking to a therapist would be a start.
I was still a fighter, always would be.
Charlie had shown me that I—and our love—was worth the battle.