SAGE
30
The anniversary of Jonah’s and Lucy’s deaths dawned without any word from the sheriff’s department. I’ve been doing nothing more than surviving ever since we reported my father’s disappearance.
“You okay, Wildflower? Wanna watch something different?”
I draw in a breath as I realize I’ve been staring at the television screen without processing what I’m seeing. Kade and I had settled in on the couch in the family room—not the den where my father spent his nights because I can’t handle it—and I don’t know how much time has slipped by without me noticing.
Kade tugs me closer to his side and presses a kiss to the column of my neck. I close my eyes and shake my head in what proves to be a futile attempt at gathering my thoughts. When I’m finally able to express myself, my voice is infused with my unending heartbreak. “This day is so damn hard for me every year. Is it the same for you?”
Kade’s breath feathers over my skin, eliciting goose bumps. “Yeah. I miss them, too,” he rasps. “Every day.”
“It’s just worse today—with everything happening, I feel bad I wasn’t focused solely on remembering their beautiful lives and how much they loved each other. You know?”
“Yeah. And that’s okay. They’d both understand.”
I turn in his arms, snuggling closer, and press my forehead to the solid wall of his chest. For several moments, we simply huddle there, breathing together. Hanging on tight. Because what other choice do we have but to move on with our lives. I inhale the scent of Kade’s cologne, letting it soothe my nerves. I’m raw, like an open wound. When I think I can get more words past the lump forming in my throat, I whisper, “What do you miss most about your sister?”
An odd, strangled sound erupts from him, and I feel every bit of his sadness. Needing to comfort him and myself, I climb onto his lap, straddling him so we’re facing each other. I stare into the wells of his dark eyes, and his torment over our mutual loss washes over me. He takes a heavy inhale before mumbling, “Probably her charismatic, confident nature. How warm and generous she was. I even miss the fucking dramatics. That girl could get so wound up over the littlest things,” he finishes with a soft chuckle. “You? I liked Jonah, he was good to my sister, but what do you miss most about him?”
As my heart tugs painfully in my chest, I try to hide my sniffle but fail. I slam my eyes shut against the tears that prick the backs of them, threatening to fall at any moment. I swear Kade senses I’m having difficulty, because he takes my head between his hands and gently forces me to look into his eyes. “Talk to me, Sage.”
“You really want me to be honest?”
“Always. However you feel is how you feel. And you deserve to be with a man who can handle the truth inside your heart.” His lips twitch up on the side. “What’s on your mind?”
I inhale deeply before letting the breath out slowly from between pursed lips. A quick nod later, and I’m spilling my guts. “Jonah was a lot of things. Bold. Maybe a little too wild sometimes. Competitive. Passionate about anything he took an interest in.” I can’t stop the grin that begins to form.
He chuckles. “Yeah, I know. Including my fucking sister.”
“Yeah. He loved her.” My smile turns into a wide one, and I nod. “I miss all those things about him that I mentioned. But most of all—” My breath hitches. “I miss knowing that if anything were ever wrong in my world, he’d be right here to make everything okay.”
The hard swallow that works its way down his throat surprises me, and a second later, his voice comes out rough and gritty. “Sage, he was your big brother. That’s what he was supposed to do.” His head bobs for a moment. “I hope he’d approve of me being the one you turn to. The one who makes you feel safe, like he did.”
A tear splashes down my cheek. “Jonah would have loved you for me. I know he would have. You’re everything he’d want me to have in a partner.”
The muscle at the back of his jaw jumps, twitching hard, like he’s grinding his teeth. “Good. That’s really fuckin’ important to me that you believe that.”
“I do.”
A breath huffs from him. “I don’t claim to know why things happen the way they do. But I hope Jonah and Lucy are looking down on us and can see how fucking happy we are together.”
I bite my lip, turning toward him. “How do you always know the right thing to say?”
Placing a few fingers under my chin, he tips my face up to accept his kiss. It’s equal parts affection and hunger, and it sends me reeling as we become lost to each other and the moment.
I’m completely carried away when Kade pauses unexpectedly and mutters, “Don’t panic, Wildflower, but I think someone is here.” He eases away, his head cocking to the side, listening.
My heart thuds viciously in my chest. I can only think of one logical explanation based on how the events of the last few days have unfolded. Way down deep, I know who it must be.
Gently squeezing my arms, Kade lifts me from his lap as he stands and sets me on my feet. Moving toward the window, he shifts the curtain out of the way. “Sage, remember… everything is going to be fine. It’s the sheriff and one of his deputies. There are a couple cars out front.”
I wrap my arms around my body and glance nervously toward the entryway. Together, we move toward the door, pausing on the other side of it just as footsteps sound on the wood planks of the porch, followed by a sharp series of knocks.
“Go on.” Kade gestures toward the door, guiding me toward it with a hand on my lower back. In a low rumble, he murmurs, “Everything is gonna be okay. I’m here with you.”
I force myself to swallow before reaching for the knob and pulling the door open.
Deputy Granger stands to one side, offering me an apologetic smile, while the town’s sheriff, Pete McClain, nods hello. “Good evening, Sage. Can we have a few words with you?” I don’t miss the way his gaze immediately flicks to Kade. The man has known me all my life and was buddies with my dad and Kade’s, back in the day. My palms sweat. He has to know a member of the Rivers family being in this house is odd, and my thoughts are confirmed only a moment later. He removes his hat, eyeing my cowboy. “I hadn’t figured on seeing you here, Kade.”
I try to calm my nerves with a quick intake of breath, then peek up at my boyfriend. He’s wearing a playful smirk, and I don’t have time to downshift from how that look makes my stomach flip-flop when he offers, “Sage and I have been seeing each other for a while now.”
There’s no way to stop myself from what I say next. It bursts from me. “Please don’t tell Dad.” My jaw snaps shut, teeth clacking together as I do.
The sheriff eyes me. “Oh. Well. Yeah, I know there’s no love lost between your families. But… this isn’t the first time we’ve seen this happen, is it?”
I lift my hands to my face for a moment, dragging them downward, as I look at the sheriff with pleading eyes. “Nope.”
Kade clears his throat. “Of course, you’d be aware of Jonah and Lucy and what a toll it took on both families when we lost them.”
He scratches at his chin as he looks from Kade to me again. “Six years ago. Today, if I’m not mistaken.”
My lips tremble as I nod. “Yessir. That’s right. Seems like yesterday. ”
Kade clears his throat, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “It’s been a rough day, do you mind if we get going with whatever you have to say?” He tugs me into his side as he gestures to the officers that they should enter. “Come on in.”
The sheriff nods. “Yes, we’d like to tell you what our investigation has uncovered.”
“Okay,” I say, needing this over with.
The two officers amble over and take seats at my kitchen table, fortunately, neither in my father’s usual place. I’ve gotta get rid of that chair as soon as I can. His recliner in the den, too. But it’s too early to start erasing all reminders of him from the house just yet, so I’ll bide my time.
I sit, my body completely rigid, but Kade chooses to stand behind me and rests his hands on my shoulders, squeezing gently. His touch reassures me in a way not much else would. Surely, if they’d found my dad—which I know is impossible—they’d have led with that. Quietly, he murmurs, “Let’s hear what they have to say.”
At that, the sheriff inclines his head. “I’m not gonna drag this out any longer than we already have. Sage, we’ve located Ridge’s truck.”
My lips part, and a shiver rolls down my spine. “Where?” My hand flies to my mouth as I try to keep up appearances. Kade’s hands anchor me, mirroring my false shock. I feel every bit of what he’s trying to tell me without words. This was expected. We knew they’d find it.
The sheriff pauses almost as if it pains him to continue. “It was at the waterfall. We believe… Well… I’m sorry to tell you that we think it’s a potential suicide.”
“So sorry, Sage,” Winston says through gritted teeth.
And even though I already knew this would be the story law enforcement would conjure from the details we’d left for them, their words lance through my heart, tearing it to shreds. I press a few fingers to my lips, hoping to stop the sob from exiting, but it escapes anyway.
“Ah darlin’, I’m sorry,” Kade rasps by my ear as he bends at the waist to wrap his arms around me. For several, long moments, I let grief overtake me. It’s not for my father, but for the loss of everything my life should have been. “Shh, it’ll be okay. I’ve got you.”
Through eyelashes glittering with tears, I make eye contact with the sheriff. “Is there… Will there be a search for his body?”
“Yes. It’s underway, but I don’t hold out much hope. The current can be strong this time of year.” He lets out a breath. “It’s possible he’ll be recovered eventually. I hope so, for your sake, honey.” I look up to find him offering me a tight, sad smile.
That’s unlikely. I scrape my teeth over my bottom lip. “Thank you.” Reaching up, I wipe a tear from my cheek. “Was there anything else? ”
With a slow shake of his head, the sheriff pushes his chair back and stands. Winston follows.
Moments later, both officers have departed. Kade and I watch them leave from the porch, his arm slung around my waist. I lean into his strength. “Is it over?” I whisper.
“With any luck, Wildflower.”