Chapter 5
FIVE
KIJA
“Delete. Delete. Mark as unread. Delete. Junk. Pretend I didn’t see it.
Delete.” I mumble as I navigate through the maze of glass-walled offices without looking up from my phone.
I know I’ve reached my own space when I trip over the same damn rug outside the door that I have gotten caught on almost every day since it’s been there.
The sound of a giggle coming from inside my office immediately draws my attention.
It’s not unusual for people to still be around at this time of the evening, but it is completely unprecedented for one of those people to be RYSING’s maknae.
Who is sitting primly on my desk, ankles crossed, swinging his feet.
Lux looks entirely out of place, everything about him a carefully styled sort of casual that directly contradicts with the almost sterile feel of the shine and straight lines of the corporate decor around us.
Even though he’s just wearing an oversized long sleeve tee and jeans, he could have easily stepped off the page of a magazine.
His hair is fluffier than usual, his features softer somehow.
It takes me a second to realize he’s not wearing makeup.
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him—or any of the other members, except for maybe Nikko—quite this fresh-faced before.
I have no idea why he’s here—why he would be waiting for me. I’m fairly certain this is the first time the two of us have ever really been alone together. Finally, I think to ask him. “Hello, Lux. Is there something I can help you with?”
He smiles, gives a small shrug of his shoulders. “I was just out for a walk. I started thinking about you, so I decided to stop by and see if you were around. Thought I might say hi.”
When I don’t respond—because I have absolutely no idea how to—he speaks again.
“Have you had a good day? I know you’re always busy. Sometimes it seems like you’re the one running this place. I bet you could.” Lux pauses, glancing off into the distance like he’s picturing it. “You’d look even hotter as the CEO.”
Deciding to ignore the very cheeky compliment, I try to give him a little smile to at least acknowledge his kind words. “I appreciate your faith in me, but I’ve got a long way to go before I’m anywhere near that kind of power.”
“It will suit you,” he says, leaning back on his palms, resting further on my desk as though it’s his to take ownership of. “If that was what you wanted. Is it?”
I shake my head, while wondering where exactly this conversation is going. “No. I’ve never had my eye on anything like that. I enjoy what I do now, and I’m happy to see where it takes me.”
“You do well for yourself. Your family must be proud.” His feet are swinging again, but there’s something more restrained about the motion, like he’s more aware of what he’s doing.
“They are,” I tell him. “They don’t understand what I do, but they see that I’m good at it and I’m fulfilled by it.” I scan the room, trying to figure out where I can go that’s not just hovering awkwardly here near my desk. I slip my phone back in my pocket. “Did you need something, Lux?”
He tilts his head, considering what he’s about to say next. “My name is Yung-Sun. You can call me that.”
Even though I know this, have seen it on every legal document pushed across my desk about the group, the idea of addressing him that way still feels wrong somehow. “I don’t…”
“You should call me Yung-Sun,” he insists, cutting me off before I can protest. “Please.”
“Okay. Yung-Sun.” I’m about to ask again what he’s doing here, how I can help him so he can get off of my desk and go home to the dorms and I can feel less on edge, when he shifts, ever so slightly. The whole position of his body changes, though, a subtle arch to his back, legs falling open.
Everything about it looks like an invitation.
Yung-Sun trails his fingertips from his knee to his thigh and I’m very aware of the way my eyes follow. “May I speak freely?”
I have to swallow before I can answer him. “Yes.”
“I want you.”
My jaw drops. I’m not completely surprised by this, but the unabashed delivery still shocks me. I try to control my expression and respond as calmly as I can to the brazen admission. “I… thank you?”
Yung-Sun laughs as I wonder what happened to the words I thought I was about to say. “You’re welcome?”
I shake my hands out, like that will help somehow. “I kind of knew that you might have had a crush.”
“I’ve been told I can be obvious.” He plucks a pen out of the pencil holder at the corner of my desk and spins it between his fingers. “I just thought you should know. That I’m interested. That I want you.”
“That’s really flattering, Lu—Yung-Sun. But nothing could ever happen here. You know that.” I try to keep my tone neutral, but firm. I want to let him down easily, but he needs to know the truth.
“Why is that?” he asks, pushing his lips into a pout.
Putting some distance between us, I finally drop onto the couch along the wall. “There are numerous reasons, but the two most important are the company and the fact that I date women.”
Yung-Sun huffs in a way that suggests he’s amused by this, his mouth curving into a smirk. “Is that so?”
“Yes?” Why am I asking him? It’s not a question.
But the way he’s looking at me feels so seductive—is that seductive?
--that it sends a quick flash of something up my spine.
I’ve seen that look on numerous women before I took them home, took them to bed.
And I am positive that he’d let me do the same.
“You know as well as I do that lots of people keep secrets around here, hyung,” he murmurs. Even his voice, soft as it is right now, sounds provocative. “And lots of people find out they like new things when they try them.”
All of a sudden I feel like I understand the appeal of idols. Being surrounded by them every day, I thought I was immune. But with the uncommon beauty they possess, particularly Yung-Sun, it’s overwhelming having this kind of focused attention.
He’s sitting here in front of me, confessing that he wants me, and even though it’s not something I’d consider, I get it. For everyone in the world that would give anything to hear those words from him and somehow, they’re directed at me.
“You have your whole life ahead of you,” I remind him, after taking a moment with this very surreal situation. “You’ll find someone who’s a much better match for you than a boring suit at the label.”
He smiles, but it’s a little sad. It doesn’t reach his eyes, but it does draw my attention to the beauty mark on his left cheek that I’d never noticed before. I probably haven’t had a chance to see it, always covered by make-up and polished to perfection. I like it. The natural beauty of it.
“If you say so.” Yung-Sun hops off the desk and starts to walk toward the door. He pauses, though, right before he slips back out into the hallway. “Just know that it will still be true if you reconsider. You can have me whenever you want me.”
Leaning back on the couch, I let myself process everything that just happened here.
Unexpected, but not unbelievable. Certainly audacious, though.
He’s not the first person for whom I’ve had to gently redirect misplaced interest. I’d even dashed Jase’s hopes when we initially met.
But this is the first time it feels… like this.
I don’t even know what this is, but it’s different.
Yung-Sun doesn’t seem like the type to give up easily. I hesitate to call it a problem, but something tells me it could be. Bad for business. For both of us.
??
I don’t remember the drive home.
The commute is basically muscle memory at this point, I’ve been doing it long enough that I don’t really have to think about the limited number of turns I actually make between my apartment and the Task Force building.
Some of my best ideas have happened while I was in my car, stuck in the rush hour traffic.
Today, though, I couldn’t stop thinking about Lux—no, Yung-Sun—showing up.
Coolly announcing that he wanted me. Thought I was attractive.
Which is flattering, of course. And I’m not afraid to admit that I’m not a stranger to that kind of attention.
I know I’ve been out with—and been to bed with—plenty of women who would make just about any straight man jealous.
At no point have I ever thought about dating anyone other than women. I’ve never been attracted to anyone else, so why would I?
Finally getting out of the car, I leave my work bag, knowing I’m not about to get anything done tonight anyway.
I contemplate texting Jase to let him know I’m on the way up, but then decide not to because it’s my damn apartment.
If I walk in on something he doesn’t want me to see—again—that’s on him and Nikko.
“I’m home!” I yell as I unlock the door and slowly push it open, hand blocking my view inside just in case anyone’s naked ass is on my couch.
“Hi, honey,” Jase calls back, sounding chipper and perhaps more importantly, potentially alone. “You may enter with eyes wide open.”
I sigh with relief. I like Nikko and don’t mind spending time with him, but right now, I’ve met my quota on surprise RYSING member appearances for the evening. “Thank fuck.”
“Wow. You get frisky one time…” Jase begins, but starts laughing when I hold a finger up to stop him.
“No. You do not get to make me relive that,” I insist. “That’s my couch. Not your… love nest.”
“Love nest?” He nearly falls onto the floor as he doubles over, cracking up. “It wasn’t even that bad! We were just…”
I put my hands over my ears like a child to show him that I am very much not listening to him recount his version of events because I saw plenty while it was happening live. Waiting until he appears to stop talking, I remove them. “Are you finished?”
“I mean, I wasn’t, but then you showed up and kind of ruined our moment,” Jase remarks, still wheezing a little from his outburst. Just as I’m about to express my regret for agreeing to let him stay here, he says, “You don’t have to worry about it for much longer, though.”
He has my full attention then. Not that I don’t like having him around, but I’m also going to be glad to have my space back.
I sit down in the chair across from him, careful not to disturb Noel who is sleeping next to it, extremely unconcerned with my presence, as usual. “What? Did you find a place?”
“More like one dropped in my lap?” Jase shrugs a little. “I guess Task Force bought a few units in a building near theirs and is going to let the group split up between them, and then I can use the leftover one.”
Interesting. I had heard that RYSING was trying to assert their independence a bit more and get into a better living situation.
Given their incredible success, denying their requests for as long as the company had seemed counterproductive.
“So you’re going to live in the same building as Nikko. That’s convenient.”
“Nah, I think he’s just going to move in with me and make it look like he’s still rooming with one of the other guys,” he explains, smiling.
I immediately assume that Nikko will room with Lu—Yung-Sun, which makes the timing of his visit seem a little suspicious if they just learned about this new development. Yung-Sun sees some additional freedom on the horizon and decides to let me know he’s interested and available.
“Kija?” Jase snaps his fingers like he’s been trying to talk to me and I didn’t realize it. “I totally lost you there for a minute. Are you daydreaming about chucking all my stuff out already?”
Shaking my head, I have a quick debate with myself over how much I want to say. I know I’ll tell him everything eventually, but I’m not sure if I want to spill it all now. “No, something just happened tonight, and I’m wondering if this news had anything to do with it.”
“What’s that?” he asks, getting up and going to the fridge. Noel jumps up to follow him into the kitchen because she is nothing if not food-motivated. He grabs two beers and comes back to where I’m sitting, handing one over as I thank him.
Maybe it’s not so bad having him around all the time.
“Uh, Yung-Sun stopped by my office,” I tell him, then take a long sip waiting for his reaction.
Jase flops down again, Noel jumping up next to him clearly offended she did not get anything. He tips the bottle toward me and gives a noncommittal nod. “Huh.”
“What do you mean ‘huh?’” I question, then realize it’s entirely possible he knew it would happen. Yung-Sun could have shared his plan with Nikko, who obviously would have told Jase immediately. “Did you know he was going to?”
Jase frowns. “No? I’m just not surprised?”
“You’re not surprised that RYSING’s maknae—the most popular member of the group, no offense to Nikko—showed up after hours to tell me that he wants me?” I’m practically squeaking by the time I’m done talking.
He chuckles. “If I’m surprised about anything, it’s only that it took this long, or that it was somehow news to you. You knew he had a thing for you. He’s so fucking obvious anytime you’re nearby. I’m honestly glad he finally said something and isn’t dancing around it anymore.”
“Wow. Okay.” I chug the better part of my beer to give myself time to think. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about any of this. “He told me I could ‘have him when I want him.’ Who does that?”
“Apparently, RYSING’s maknae, the most popular member of the group,” Jase echoes back to me.
He can’t move out soon enough.