Chapter 23
It was getting dark by the time we’d packed away the picnic and locked the cabin again.
As we walked back to our cars, I was delighted to hear the back and forth of tawny owls calling and then I wished I hadn’t been so excited because knowing my favourite birds were living in the woods went no way to helping me disconnect from them.
‘Are you heading straight back to Fernside?’ I asked James, once he’d got the picnic things and Buddy packed into his car.
‘I was going to,’ he said, looking down at me, ‘but I think I might just pop back to the store and pick up some flowers for Aunt Constance.’
‘She does love the blooms from there,’ I told him. ‘But it will take more than that to get her to change her mind about selling the woods.’
‘I know,’ he agreed. ‘But I don’t like quarrelling with her.
I never have and the falling out over the woods has been the worst. She’s so stubborn.
You know, she even refused to accept the weekly shopping order I always sent for her when she told me to stop visiting in person.
I had to cancel it in the end because I kept getting emails of complaint from the supermarkets saying “delivery refused” or “no one in”. ’
‘You used to send her food?’
‘Every week. All her favourites.’ James shrugged. ‘To be honest, it must have killed her to turn away the pastries and baked goods.’
I suddenly didn’t think that Constance had been quite fair to James.
Neither to him in person or when she’d briefly talked about him to me.
He’d clearly gone above and beyond to support her and yet she’d never done anything to stop me assuming he’d abandoned her.
Perhaps she had hoped tough love and self-sacrifice would win him over but neither had triumphed and now it was a worse mess than ever because I was involved.
‘I even tried leaving things at the house myself when I could drive up,’ James continued, ‘but then she started locking the damn gate!’
‘And there’s that blooming good guy again,’ I whispered.
Without another word, the pair of us closed the gap between us and kissed.
We didn’t ease into it but went straight in with all the pent-up passion we’d both been feeling over the last few days.
There was no gap between us and yet we pressed our bodies even closer, our hands exploring every inch we could reach over our clothes.
‘James,’ I gasped lustfully, as his lips found the tenderest spot on my neck and I wished we’d started this in the cabin. ‘James,’ I said more firmly, as in the next second, common sense kicked in. ‘Stop.’
He immediately moved away and the air on my clothes and skin that replaced his proximity felt cold and I shivered.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, his chest heaving. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s not your fault,’ I echoed. ‘It was both of us who leaned in.’
‘That wasn’t perhaps the most sensible move, was it?’ he said, once he’d caught his breath.
‘No,’ I agreed regretfully as I readjusted the neck of my top. ‘Probably not.’
Now I’d had another taste of him, I wanted more. So much more, but given the current situation, I knew it wouldn’t do to get carried away. Pursuing our personal relationship would only complicate the more pressing professional one.
‘Even though I was wishing we’d started that in the cabin,’ he said and gave me a look that was so full of desire that I was tempted to grab him again.
‘Same thing crossed my mind,’ I confessed.
He smiled and so did I.
‘Right,’ he said. ‘I’m going to leave before we’re tempted to do something we’ll really regret.’
‘Good,’ I said primly. ‘And don’t come to the apartment tonight, because I won’t let you in.’
‘I wouldn’t dream of it,’ he grinned.
We didn’t break eye contact, and neither of us moved.
‘The store will be shut soon,’ I told him.
‘Yep,’ he said and turned back to his car, where Buddy was patiently waiting. ‘I know. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘And don’t forget,’ I reminded him, ‘you have until lunchtime to convince Constance that your way is the right one. After that, I’m going in.’
I waited until he left, then climbed into my car.
I didn’t get in the driver’s side but shifted my notebook, sat on the passenger seat and put my head in my hands.
There was such a lot to think about… not only was I losing the dream location for my business, I now also felt compelled to convince Constance that she should keep it.
There was no doubt in my mind that task would fall to me because she obviously wasn’t going to listen to James.
She might have done him a disservice in letting me think he’d been the bad guy, and refusing his practical offers of support, but her desire to enable him to change jobs spoke volumes regarding what she really felt for him.
And now there was that kiss with James… or kisses… to consider. I jumped out of the car, switched seats and turned the engine over. With it all playing out in my head, I didn’t have the bandwidth to process our embrace on top of everything else.
Back at Fernside, I parked slightly over on the drive, making sure I’d left enough space for James to put his car in the garage, should he want to.
We hadn’t got around to talking about his sunroof, but in the grand scheme of things it didn’t really matter.
I was just about to go through the garden gate, when I heard a car and decided to wait.
It was bound to be James and even though I knew it would probably be better not to see him so soon after our kiss, I reasoned he might need a hand with Buddy, the picnic things and the flowers. Who was I trying to kid?
However, as the car got closer, I realised it wasn’t his. There was a light on the roof which told me it was a taxi. Constance hadn’t mentioned she was expecting visitors, and I certainly wasn’t. Maybe it was someone for James.
The car came to a halt a little distance in front of me and I squinted at the light reflecting off the windscreen while whoever was in the back gathered up the bags they were travelling with and patted the driver on the shoulder.
I recognised the friendly gesture immediately, but I also knew I must have imagined it because the person it belonged to was literally on the other side of the world.
Unless he wasn’t.
‘Oh my god!’ I screeched, my hands flying to my face as the car door swung open. ‘What are you doing here?’
I ran across the drive and flung myself straight into the arms of the person I had so longed to see but until that moment hadn’t really wanted to admit it.
‘Zack!’ I shouted, as he lifted me up and spun me around. ‘I don’t believe it! Is it really you?’
‘It’s me.’
I squeezed him tight for the longest time and the strength of the returned embrace suggested that he needed the sibling hug every bit as much as I did.
‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ I sobbed, when I drew back a little and took his stubble covered face in my hands.
‘Surprise!’ He grinned and pulled me close again. ‘A good one, I hope,’ he said into my shoulder, his whiskers scratching my neck.
‘The best,’ I said back. ‘Of course it is. But what are you doing here? I thought you were on sabbatical. I thought you were lying on a beach thinking things through.’
‘I was,’ Zack nodded, with the biggest smile lighting up his deeply tanned face.
‘But all your talk of Willowell made me so homesick and I desperately wanted to be here to support you when you launched this fabulous adventure that you’re about to embark on.
So, I just thought screw it and booked a flight back. ’
‘God, I love you so much for that,’ I said, as I kissed the back of his hand and squeezed it even tighter. ‘And I’m so incredibly happy that you’re here.’
Given that he’d travelled halfway across the world to see me set off on it, it was hardly the moment to tell him that the adventure was shelved. We’d get properly into it all once he’d had something to eat and some sleep.
‘Thank goodness for that,’ he laughed as he scooped up the huge rucksack and holdall which I guessed contained his worldly goods. ‘Now come on. I’m in dire need of a decent cup of tea and an entire loaf of toast.’
‘And Marmite?’ I laughed, as I thought he was going to get on very well with Constance, the other toast lover in my life.
‘Of course, Marmite! You have got some in, haven’t you?’
‘A brand-new jar.’
‘I think that was your phone!’ Zack called from his stretched-out position on the apartment sofa, while I was in the kitchen shoving yet more bread, in fact the last of the bread, into the toaster late that evening.
I rushed into the sitting room and snatched it off the coffee table. I hadn’t wanted Zack to see James’s name flash up on the screen, but my rush to grab it piqued his interest anyway.
‘If that’s a booty call,’ he said in a sing-song voice, ‘don’t even think of abandoning me. Not when I’ve come all this way.’
‘Of course it isn’t,’ I said and gave the suggestion the eye roll it deserved.
It was a message from James saying he hadn’t yet come up with a plan, but he was going to sleep on it and see if anything appeared in his dreams. I vaguely heard the toast pop up, but didn’t move to do anything with it.
‘I’ll see to the toast then, shall I?’ Zack asked, as I stared at the phone screen and wondered if and how I should reply.
Maybe I could message James to meet me at the back of the house, so I could say goodnight in person…
‘If you don’t mind,’ I said, and Zack looked surprised. ‘I just need to check on something at Fernside.’
‘At this hour?’ he asked, making no attempt to move. ‘Will Constance thank you for that?’
‘Oh, for pity’s sake,’ I said, when I looked at my phone again. ‘It’s gone two in the morning.’
‘I know,’ Zack smiled. ‘And we’ve not even started on your news yet.’
We had talked about his time in Bali and beyond and how he wasn’t certain he’d be going back after he’d recovered from the unusual bout of homesickness that my time in Willowell had kicked off.
His declaration that he currently felt no desire to keep flitting rootless around the globe had come as something of a surprise, even though I had known he had been questioning things, and I was still processing the potential implications of that.
The thought of him being in the same country as me full-time and therefore within regular hugging distance was blissful, but I wasn’t about to get my hopes up in case the wanderlust struck again a week or so down the line.
‘Aren’t you tired?’ I yawned, feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion wash over me now I had realised how late, or early, it was.
‘Getting there,’ he said, sitting up and having a good stretch. ‘But still more hungry than ready for bed.’
‘You’re still a bottomless pit,’ I tutted.
‘I know,’ he laughed and I thought how wonderful the sound was when it was in the same room.
‘The last of the toast coming up then.’ I smiled as I put my phone down again, screen down, and padded back through to the kitchen.
I’d message James when I went to bed, even if he might not see it until the morning. I’d rather that than rush a response and get it wrong.
‘And maybe just one more cuppa before we turn in?’ Zack requested.
Snuggled up on the sofa next to my brother, with a crumb covered plate and a pot of warm tea on a tray in front of us, it was finally my turn to talk.
‘Crikey,’ Zack said thoughtfully, once I’d found the words to explain that my plan to buy the woods had now been scuppered by James, along with the reason why. ‘I can see your conundrum.’
‘I knew you would,’ I said and rested my head on his shoulder.
‘We were devastated to leave our place, weren’t we?’
‘We were,’ I said hoarsely. I’d talked so much in the last few hours, my voice was giving out. ‘And even though James still has Fernside in the family, his happy place with his mum was the woods. That’s where the memories are that he really wants to preserve and keep safe.’
‘What did he think of your plans for the woods?’
‘He asked what they were, but I didn’t tell him.’
‘Why not?’ Zack demanded and gave me a nudge, so I had to sit up.
‘He’d literally just told me about why he wanted to keep the woods,’ I explained. ‘So, it felt a bit raw. Also, I didn’t think there was much point, to be honest. Going through it all would have only upset me, and it wasn’t going to alter anything.’
‘You don’t think he’d be open to what you have in mind?’
‘No. He wants Willowell Woods to stay just as they are and knowing we would have wanted to keep our house in a similar state if Dad had given us the chance, I wasn’t about to try and make him think otherwise.’
‘That’s fair,’ Zack accepted. ‘So, what’s the plan now? Aunt Constance sounds like a right firecracker to me, and I can’t see her backing down.’
‘Especially when she’s got her nephew’s best interests at heart.’
‘Exactly.’
‘I’ve told James that if he hasn’t got her on-side by lunchtime, then I’m going to tell her I don’t want to buy them anymore.’
‘That’s drastic action,’ Zack puffed. ‘She’ll be peed off with you then.’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘that’s a risk I’m willing to take.’
‘You really like this guy, huh?’
‘He’s okay,’ I blagged. ‘I’m just trying to see the situation from his point of view, rather than my own.’
‘How very generous of you.’ Zack nudged me again and stifled a yawn.
‘Come on,’ I said. ‘I need my beauty sleep.’
‘Bit late for that,’ Zack scoffed and I biffed him with a cushion, almost upsetting the teapot. ‘I meant,’ he laughingly defended himself, ‘because it’s so late. The night is practically over. Why don’t we just power through?’
‘Because we’re not teenagers anymore,’ I told him, though it hadn’t escaped my notice that was pretty much the age we acted whenever we were together. I stood up and pulled him to his feet. ‘I’ll take the tray; you move the cushions.’
I piled the dishes next to the sink, yawning as I did it, and when I looked at Zack again, I could see he was blearier eyed than he was willing to admit.
‘You look like you need your beauty sleep, too,’ I told him.
‘I’m all right,’ he said. ‘I haven’t got anyone to impress.’
‘Neither have I,’ I countered, perhaps a little too quickly.
‘You sure about that?’ he asked, narrowing his gaze.
‘Oh, be quiet,’ I tutted and he laughed. ‘Come on, let’s get this sofa bed set up and then you can get some sleep.’
I had wondered whether to mention my romantic involvement with James but figured the fewer people who knew at this point, the better. In typical tuned in fashion however, my brother had already sussed something was going on, so there was no need to spell it out.