19. Lily
CHAPTER NINETEEN
lily
I used to live in a perpetual Groundhog Day, going to the same job, seeing the same people, doing the same things. I rarely deviated from my routine, only occasionally seeing Tyler, and even then, most of our time together was tiny moments at my place. Since the day I got fired, I feel like no two days have been the same. I was finally settling into a new normal here, getting a sort of routine going. Until my bathroom crumbled, and crushed all sense of normalcy with it.
I moved in with Thoren a week ago, and things have been busy ever since. He spent Saturday and Sunday tearing apart my bathroom and wouldn’t let me help because of the mold. He came back home every evening absolutely wrecked and went straight to bed after dinner. This week hasn’t been much better either.
Monday after work, he started working on replacing the pipes, and has been doing that every evening since. He let me help, but I think I was in the way more than anything, so I used that time to make us dinner and pack a lunch for him instead. It’s been nice, doing mundane chores for him like cooking, cleaning, doing his laundry, no matter how much he insists I don’t need to.
He’s been so busy trying to do all that for me that even though I’ve been sleeping in his bed every night, nothing more has happened between us. I don’t want to complain, but I haven’t even laid a hand on his magnificent dick yet, and I am desperate to.
I told him this morning before he left for work that he couldn't work at my place at all this weekend because he deserved a break. Selfishly, I just want more time with him. I haven’t heard any more from my parents, and Kinsley called on Wednesday to let me know they denied mediation again. Today at 4:30, right before everyone leaves for the weekend, they will be served with the lawsuit paperwork.
My nerves have been all over the place, and writing certainly hasn’t been happening, so I took Shadow on a walk to calm myself down. We did some exploring through the woods, and it was going great until my furry little bestie decided to roll.
In something dead.
That had not been dead long.
She smells horrible, and has bits of an animal I don’t care to identify sticking to her fur. “What were you thinking, crazy girl? You’re going to need a bath now,” I scold her.
We make our way back to Thoren’s, where I hose her off outside to the best of my ability before texting Thoren.
Lily:
If I were doggy soap, where would I be?
Thoren:
Under the sink in the guest bath. What did the troublemaker do?
Lily:
Rolled in something foul.
Thoren:
It’s a nice day, leave her outside and I’ll give her a bath when I get home. She doesn’t love them. Also, don’t make dinner tonight. I have a surprise for you.
There’s no way I’m leaving the bath for him. It’s my fault she smells, and he doesn’t need anything else to do after this week. I’ll Google ways to keep dogs happy during bath time. Is he planning to take me out for dinner? I hope not, because all I want is to jump his bones, and that will be hard at a restaurant.
Lily:
Is the surprise sausages? Because I’m drooling at the thought of tasting yours.
Thoren:
Behave.
Why did that one word send heat flooding through my body?
Lily:
Or what?
Thoren:
Baby, you’re going to find out soon enough.
Shadow zips past me, doing her zoomies in the yard, pulling my thoughts from all the things Thoren is hopefully going to do to me tonight. I’m not inexperienced; I slept with a guy in high school and Tyler tried to have sex with me every time he came over. Saying my sex life was good, though, would be a lie. It was lackluster at best. I only ever got off when I was on top and controlling things. Tyler’s tastes were very vanilla, which was fine, but I wanted something… more.
Thoren’s demanding and dominating touch, his gravelly hard voice when he commands me, his light hold on my neck when we kiss, and don’t even get me started on his praise. Those are things that set my body on fire, that make my panties wet and my pussy ache.
Shadow zooms past me again, almost taking me out as she runs in circles. “Let’s go get that bath, wild girl.”
As it turns out, giving dogs a bath is easy, thanks to a quick trick. Peanut butter spread on the side of the tub was all it took. Shadow is happily standing still while I scrub her down as long as I keep the peanut butter coming. A sense of pride isn’t something I feel often, but it’s happening here pretty frequently. I’ve never been around animals much, and here I am, nailing my first dog bath.
“Your daddy is going to give you so many snuggles tonight when he smells you,” I tell Shadow as I rinse out her doggy shampoo.
“As if she doesn’t get enough snuggles as is,” a deep voice rumbles behind me, scaring the ever loving life out of me.
Shadow’s tail thumps against the tub as I turn around to see Jake leaning against the door, arms crossed over his chest.
“Where did you come from?” I squeak. “You scared the crap out of me.”
He lets out a low chuckle, still staring at me. “Sorry, I knocked, but you didn’t answer.”
“So you just let yourself in? Is that a normal thing for you guys?”
“Honestly? Yeah. You’re sleeping in my room, ya know?” His stare bores into me, his mouth lifting into a smirk. “If you’re even sleeping in there.”
I sputter a cough and turn back to rinsing Shadow, trying to hide my red cheeks. I haven’t slept in there once. Why would I when I can spend the night in a loving embrace, surrounded by Thoren’s comforting scent?
“Well, it’s good to see you again. What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you, and Thoren wanted me to check out your bathroom. He thought I could make a cool vanity for in there,” he says, still just watching me.
“The first part sounds ominous, but the second part sounds amazing. Thanks, Jake.”
“I’ll be downstairs when you’re done here and we can talk,” he replies, finally leaving me to finish up with Shadow.
That was weird. Thoren and Michele have great things to say about Jake, and he seems like a nice guy, if not a little scary. The tone in his voice made me feel like I was getting called to the principal's office. I rack my brain on what he could want to talk to me about, but come up empty.
With a fresh smelling puppy, I dry Shadow off the best that I can, then let her loose in the house. I scrub the bathtub clean before making my way downstairs to find Jake. He is sitting in the living room watching the sports channel, so I take a seat across from him on the couch.
“It was nice of you to give Shadow a bath,” he says, still staring at the TV and scratching her ears where she’s sitting by his feet.
“Well, she rolled in something nasty on our walk, so it’s the least I could do. Plus, I love her.”
He mutes the TV and turns to look at me. “This talk is not happening. Do you understand?”
I feel my hackles rise, but nod in agreement.
“Did you know Thoren got Shadow before Jen left him?” he asks, but he’s not really looking for me to answer. “She begged him for a dog. She begged him for a lot of things she didn’t deserve, but he also really wanted a dog. So he looked around, and waited for the right time, and finally found a litter of black lab puppies. He picked out Shadow and brought her home. When she got home and saw the puppy, she lost her shit, and not in a good way. Jen wanted a small lapdog, something to carry around in a purse, even though Lord knows she wouldn’t be the one taking care of it.”
He shakes his head, frustration written on his features. “She left him two weeks later, and it was the best thing to happen to him. He took it hard for a while. They had been together for years. Shadow got him through those hard times, and she’s been his support ever since. Seeing you care for her… it’s healing something in him you didn’t break.”
I nod in understanding because Thoren was also healing parts of me that were broken before him. I haven’t really asked too much about Jen, and maybe that was a mistake. I’ve never really done the relationship thing except with Tyler and clearly that was only a real relationship to me and not him. I don’t know what the protocol is for asking about exes. All I know is that Thoren is the best and deserves the best, and I am going to do everything I can to be that for him.
“Lily, he’s one of the best people I know. He cares deeply, and will do anything for those in his circle. Jen took advantage of that and I can’t watch that happen to him again. He doesn’t ask for much out of life, just someone to love him for who he is and to have a big family. Thoren won’t talk to you about any of this, but he has a huge fear that you’re just here temporarily. She left him to find a bigger and better life, and that’s not something he will ever want. This is his home, where his family is, and where he wants to raise his kids. If this small town getaway even has the possibility of being a temporary thing for you, please let him go. The way he talks about you… you’re different and he won’t survive losing you.”
I sit in stunned silence as this burly man pleads with me to protect his friend. I want to be offended; I want to dive into my thoughts about what he said about me being different, but mostly, I want to hug him for looking out for the man who looks out for everyone else. At this moment, I decide that I really like Jake despite his grumpy appearance.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve never felt more alive, free, or like I’m where I’m meant to be than right here in Cedar Ridge. This place has become my home, and somehow, despite all the crap going on in my life, Thoren is starting to feel like home, too. You’re a good friend, Jake, and he’s beyond lucky to have you in his life.”
Jake stares at me again, looking for any lies in my statement, but he won’t find them. I have been living here for almost two months now. I can’t imagine going anywhere else. This town and these people have infiltrated my life and shown me what it is like to truly live. To find your place, and people who care for you like one of their own, and I will never give that up.
Jake’s phone dings from the couch next to him, where he glances at it, then stands. “Want to go show me your bathroom now? We can talk about some options for your vanity?”
“Sure, that sounds good.”
I follow him out, leaving Shadow in the house since she’s still damp and I don’t want her getting muddy. As we walk over, he asks about the trip to Seattle and how River is doing. I didn’t realize the three of them, Thoren, River and him, were so close, but I guess they all talk frequently. When we get to my place, he steps aside to make a quick call, letting me know he will meet me inside. I wait in the cabin, cleaning up some tools that are lying around.
Jake isn’t outside long, but he takes forever talking about the vanity. He measures and re-measures at least four times, talking about all the different wood options, finishes, and countertops that he can do. Thoren and I haven’t picked out tiles or flooring or even a color scheme. I finally convince Jake that the wood and finish is up to his discretion and a neutral counter would be great.
He’s acting weird and asks to see my deck to check over Thoren’s work when my phone rings. I rush to answer it to get out of this awkward moment.
“Hello?”
“Hey, baby,” Thoren’s smooth voice comes over the line. “What are you doing?”
“Uhh, showing Jake the bathroom at my place. I guess you guys talked about him building a vanity?” I try not to sound annoyed that they decided that since it was actually really sweet. I was a little annoyed at this whole scenario because I was anxious for the special thing he has planned for tonight.
“Oh, yeah, that’s great. I got off work a little early and am home if you guys want to head back.”
“Okay,” my excitement stirs. “I’ll see you in a few.”
Jake must have heard the conversation, because he is already waiting at my front door. As our feet crunch on the gravel in Thoren’s driveway, I see his truck parked right next to Jake’s and can’t help but laugh.
“I think I need to hear the story on the matching trucks,” I say, walking in the front door.
“That’s not the only thing we have matching,” Jake mutters under his breath. Before I can ask what that means, Michele’s head pops around the corner.
“Lily!” she squeals, wrapping me in a tight hug. “It’s been too long, we need a girls’ outing ASAP.”
“What are you doing here? I’ve missed you, too.”
“Back off my woman,” Thoren growls, playfully shoving Michele out of the way. His big arms swallow me as he drops his lips to my neck. “Hey, baby.”
At some point, that term of endearment won’t affect me, but today isn’t that day. I melt into his embrace, taking a deep inhale of his rugged scent. My arms stay locked around him, needing to convey how much he means to me. I don’t want him to have fears about us, no matter how new things are.
He pulls back slightly, cupping my face. “What’s going on, Lily?”
“I just really missed you today.”
His soft lips meet mine in a sweet kiss. “I missed you, too. Now, I have something to show you. Our friends helped me pull this off,” he says with a wink. I look around, but both Michele and Jake are gone. “Follow me, princess.”
He leads me upstairs, stopping in front of the last bedroom that I haven’t been in yet. “Since you’re stuck here for another few weeks at least, I wanted you to have a space to write. I know your book is going to be amazing, and I wanted a space for you to feel that. Go ahead,” he motions to the door.
I push it open to see a desk and chair set up, with my laptop already on it. There’s a vase of beautiful purple lilacs on the desk next to a small lamp. In the corner is a small shelf with some pens, notebooks, sticky notes, and two framed photos. On closer inspection, one is a quote that says ‘Make Today Amazing’ and the other is a photo of Thoren and me from the hat store. It’s not the one he sent me though, in this one I’m smiling at the camera, but Thoren is smiling down at me, completely enraptured. The tears are silently falling as I look at what he did in the forty-five minutes Jake and I were at my house.
“I know it’s not much, but it’s what Michele and I could come up with and do with a short time frame.” His smile is shy as he leans against the desk.
“This is amazing. Thank you. No one has ever done something like this for me.”
Thoren is on me in an instant, pressing my small body against the wall behind me. His kiss is searing, his hands threading through my hair. “You,” kiss, “deserve,” kiss, “the world,” he says, peppering kisses over every tear. When his lips meet mine again, they have a salty tang, but I welcome it as I arch further into his body.
One thigh presses between mine, and I can’t help but grind myself over it. Our groans are instantaneous, as his kiss turns even more feverish. One hand moves to slide up my shirt until his fingers are brushing over my peaked nipple. Our tongues clash as I grind against him again.
He pulls back suddenly, the loss of his body against mine jarring. “I want nothing more than to make you choke on my cock until those tears are streaming again. You left me hard and aching for you all day with your teasing earlier. Our friends are on the deck waiting for us, but know that it’s coming, Lily. They won’t be here forever.” He drops a kiss to my head, adjusting himself in his jeans as he turns toward that door like he didn’t just soak my panties with his words.
I follow him downstairs in a lustful haze, wondering how this sweet and caring man can have the filthiest mouth. Furthermore, how everything that comes out of it scares me and turns me on in equal measure. Is something wrong with me that I want him to shove his dick so far down my throat that I can’t breathe? That I hated sucking off Tyler, but I am on the verge of orgasming at the thought of Thoren coming down my throat?
Shadow is at our feet the minute we step onto the back deck. Jake and Michele are sitting at the table, pizza boxes and plates set out in front of them. I try to wipe the lust from my face, but I must fail because Michele gives me a knowing smirk before sauntering over.
“We’ll grab drinks, what would everyone like?”
Thoren and Jake both say beer, so I follow her back into the kitchen, where she turns on me when the door shuts. “Tell me everything right now. Did you guys fuck upstairs? I had more hope for his stamina for you,” she tsks, grabbing beers from the fridge.
“No!” I whisper-yell at her. “We haven’t even had sex yet. He promised a dirty punishment for making him hard, though. Michele, he has such a dirty mind. I don’t know if I can keep up. I’ve only ever been very vanilla. I’ve never even watched porn.”
She turns around, gaping at me. “What?! Oh, you sweet, sweet girl. He’s so head over heels for you, he’ll be gentle. Just talk to him about it. I mean, I hope he still fucks you into next week, but he’ll take it easy if you tell him you’re scared.”
I bite my lip, debating how much to say. I’ve never had a girlfriend to talk about these types of things with. I know whatever comes out of my mouth will never be judged by Michele. “What if… what if I don’t want him to take it easy, but I’m not good at rough? I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. He threatened to choke me on his cock, and I almost came on the spot.”
“Fucking hell,” Michele fans herself. “I always knew he was a freak in the sheets. Just take it one step at a time. Communication is key. Come up with a safe word and let that man go to town.”
A safe word? I hadn’t thought of that. I write about dirty talking men that have sex like gods, but I kind of thought it was all fiction. I am dying to find out if I’ve had it wrong all along; that maybe my book boyfriends are modeled after men like Thoren.
With arms full of beer bottles, Michele nods toward the back door. “Let’s go. Now I’m thinking about your boyfriend's dick and it’s weird. I need a pizza distraction.”
I laugh at this crazy woman who is my new best friend and follow her back outside, knowing no amount of pizza can distract me from thinking about Thoren’s dick.