33. Thoren
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
thoren
T he last twenty-four hours have been some of the worst of my life, starting this morning when I felt like something was wrong. When we arrived at the hospital, they rushed Lily into the ICU, where I wasn’t allowed to follow. I paced the small waiting room for over an hour until Jake showed up with a change of clean and dry clothes for me. Then I paced for another hour before my parents showed up with food and coffee. It’s approaching midnight now, and although I missed dinner, there is no way I would be eating.
Another hour passed before a doctor came out to update us on Lily’s condition. They said she has severe hypothermia but they are gradually warming her with heated blankets and warmed IV fluids. Her head wound required stitches, but a concussion assessment was impossible due to overlapping symptoms with her severe hypothermia. Luckily, her ankle was only sprained, and the rest of her seemed to be okay.
He said protocol dictates I couldn’t go back until they have her conscious and aware, but I begged with my life. The doctor allowed me five minutes to sit with her, hold her hand, and tell her how sorry I was, and how much I love her. The sight of her still pale skin squeezed that already tight noose wrapped around my chest, but I held it together until I returned to the waiting room.
The moment I stepped back through those doors and saw my mom, I lost it. I let the weight crush me, as I crumpled to the floor and let my emotions take over. My mom sat on the floor with me, holding me while I fell apart. Her soft hands stroked down my back as she assured me Lily would be okay. As the tears settled, I confessed the lie I told Lily about her lawyer, and that I was the cause of her being out in the woods alone today.
In her true motherly fashion, she scolded me for lying, then told me that today was no one’s fault. She had the utmost faith that I would grovel and Lily would forgive me. Her words echoed in my mind the rest of the morning. Couples fight honey, but a love like yours doesn’t fade. It can’t be suppressed or concealed, it’s an unbreakable bond that lasts a lifetime.
Jake went home to check on Shadow and get some sleep, and I sent my parents home to get some sleep as well. Michele showed up about an hour after they left, and we tried to rest on the awful chairs until the doctor came back to get me.
“She’s doing okay. Her body temperature is hovering around 98 degrees, but we still have her under warming blankets. She’s alert and talking, but her heart rate is still slower than we would like, so we are monitoring that. Her movements are slow still, but that is to be expected and should improve throughout the morning,” her doctor says as he walks with me. “Visiting hours don’t technically start until eight, so if you can keep everyone else out until then, that would be great. She asked for you, so I’m making an exception.”
“Thank you, Dr. Klein,” my voice is hoarse. He nods and points to her door, telling me I can go in.
The moment I step into the room, her blue eyes latch onto mine. Her lower lip wobbles, a lone tear breaking free from its confinement and trickling down her flushed cheek. Her flushed cheeks . I can feel my heart skip a beat as a surge of relief washes over me at seeing the color back in her complexion. The weight of her stare settles on my chest, making it difficult to breathe again. A knot forms in my stomach, tightening with each passing second.
As I approach her, my hands instinctively reach out, aching to wipe away the tear and offer comfort. “I’m so sorry, Lily. I have so many things I want to say to you, but I can’t seem to think of a single one. I just need to know you’re okay.”
“I’m okay,” her soft voice cracks, so I grab the cup from beside her to give her little sips of water. Pulling the chair as close to her bedside as I can, I slipped my hands under the blanket to hold hers. “I’m so angry. At you, at myself, at that stupid storm.”
“I’m so-”
“No,” she interrupts me. “It’s my turn to speak now. I have a lot to say.”
A smile spreads on my face at my strong woman putting me in my place. “Go ahead, baby.”
“You should have never lied. You knew, Thoren. Out of everyone, you knew how important trust was to me. You knew how I felt about lies and being made a fool of. I am so mad at you for choosing to lie to me instead of trusting me to make the right choice in allowing you to help.”
She’s right. I know she’s right, and I have nothing to rebuttal. I’ve known from the beginning that lying was a bad idea, but I was so sure she would be stubborn and not allow me to help.
“There’s no excuse. I should have told you. I was going to tell you when you won the case, because you are going to win it. You deserve the right person fighting for you, and that person is Kinsley. I didn’t want money to hold you back when I could take care of it for you.”
“It wasn’t your choice to make,” her fingers lightly squeeze mine. “You know that, right? You see why I am upset?”
“I do. I am so sorry for lying, but I’m not sorry for making sure you are taken care of and that you get to right a wrong. I would do it over and over again. Anything to make sure you feel seen, you are heard, and you are validated. I’m not sorry for doing it, but I am sorry for lying about it. I never should have broken that trust with you.”
A nurse walks in then, breaking our tense moment. “How are you doing, Lily?” she asks, taking note of the monitors.
“Tired, but okay,” she says, as the nurse goes through several checks. She asks a series of questions and does a range of motion maneuver with her arms and legs.
“You’re making improvements, but you will have to stay another night or two for continued monitoring. We will be in every two hours to monitor your progress, and I am going to order some soup for you this morning so that will be down in a bit. Try to rest, and hit the call button if you need anything,” she smiles politely at me before stepping back out of the room.
When we are alone again, I brush the hair from her face, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. “I don’t want to be another bad guy in your story, but I told you before. I will do anything to protect you, and I felt that’s what I was doing.”
“You have a lot of groveling to do, and you are getting every penny back when I win.”
A genuine smile stretches across my face, and the tension in my chest eases, letting me take a full breath for the first time since I came home and found her missing last night. “Okay, baby, if that's what you need. Just know that every cent will go into a fund for our future. A ring for your dainty finger, your dream trip to Iceland, the wedding you’ve always dreamed of, and college funds for our kids.”
She shakes her head, a small smile gracing her lips. “I love you. I was so scared yesterday. So scared that I was going to die out there without getting to tell you that I want it all with you. Even mad at you, it was your comfort I wanted, your arms I wanted to find solace in, and your love that gave me the strength to stand up for myself. Knowing I could get angry with you, and instead of shaming me for it, you would be proud that I am demanding the respect and honesty that I deserve. I fought so hard to stay alive so I could see your hazel eyes and tell you that you are my everything, Thoren. Good, bad, and amazing–you are it for me.”
Tears prick at my eyes again, my hands cupping her face. I let the weight of her words fill me with warmth. As much as I hate the thought of her out there alone and scared, fighting to survive, I was reveling in the fact she was thinking of me. I know she never left my thoughts.
“I was scared, too. It was a bone deep fear that I wouldn’t find you on time. All I could think of was how much I love you. I love the way your blue eyes shine when the morning rays hit them, and the small smile that graces your lips when you take the first inhale of your morning coffee. I love the way you tuck your legs under you for comfort, and that you hum when you load the dishwasher. I love the way you wrap around me in bed, and stand on your tiptoes to wash my hair when we shower together. I thought I might never get to see those things again, and it broke me, Lily. You are my everything. I’m just so sorry for it all.”
“Come here,” she whispers through tears. I carefully climb into the bed with her, avoiding her IV, as I wrap myself around her. My hands trail down her cheeks and over her arm, soaking in the feel of her safe in my arms. “You can grovel later. Right now, I just need you to hold me while I sleep, okay?”
“Okay, baby.”
LILY
There’s a light knock at the door before Michele’s face pops around the corner. Her relief is instant when she sees me, her chin wobbling as she holds back her emotions. “Hi,” she says, eyes bright with unshed tears. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
I fight back a yawn. “No, the nurses just woke me for their check. He’s been zonked for about three hours now.” I run my hands through Thoren’s hair, his body carefully laid over me.
She pulls up the chair Thoren was in earlier, dropping a bag by her feet before grabbing my free hand in hers. “It’s good to see you with some color. You gave us all a good scare, and when you’re feeling better, I am going to yell at you for it.”
“If it makes you feel better, I scared myself. I never expected the storm, and then I got lost and fell, and it’s all a little hazy from there,” I wince as Thoren twitches, hitting my ankle with his foot.
He wakes instantly, blinking as he scours my face. “Are you okay?”
“Your big body is crushing her, so no, she’s not okay,” Michele quips.
He slowly sits up, careful not to smush me any more, and steps off the bed. “When did you get here?”
“Just a minute ago. Go get coffee and food. You look like hell, and I’ve got plans for Lily.”
He looks to me for confirmation that I’m okay, his eyes softening when I give him a reassuring smile. “Can I get either of you anything?” We both tell him no before he slips out of the room, promising to be back as soon as possible.
“I’m going to wash your hair. I already asked the nurse before I came in here and she’s bringing a shower chair. I brought my good shower supplies and stopped by your place to get you some fresh clothes. While I do this, you’re going to tell me exactly what’s been going on. Deal?”
A lump forms in my throat as I take in my beautiful friend. I don’t know what I did to deserve a woman like her in my life, but I will be eternally grateful. She helps me out of bed and into the shower, leaving my hospital gown on so I have some privacy. Michele takes her time as she carefully and meticulously washes the mud from my hair while avoiding my stitches. She even helps me wash my body when I struggle to do it on my own.
“He lied to me,” I confess while her fingers stroke through my hair, rinsing out the conditioner. “He has been paying for the lawyer the whole time and didn’t tell me.”
Michele’s hands pause a moment before continuing. “Did he tell you why he lied?”
“He didn’t have to. I can put two and two together. I know I have been stubborn about wanting to do as much as possible on my own, especially when you guys first found out about Tyler. He explained that he hated lying but he would do anything for me, including make sure I have the best people fighting for me, and that meant making sure I had Kinsley.”
She turns off the shower, wringing out my hair before helping me get out and into the fresh clothes she brought. I step out of the bathroom in baggy sweats, cozy socks that aren’t too tight on my ankle, and a loose shirt that won’t interfere with my IV. Just when I think Michele has gone above and beyond, she sits me on the bed sideways so she can brush and braid my hair.
“I have to be honest, and it’s okay if you’re mad at me,” she starts again as she parts my hair. “I knew about Kinsley. I told him so many times to tell you, but he was scared you would fire her and go with someone cheaper.”
I take a deep breath, letting the information settle. I want to be mad, I feel like I should be mad, but I’m not. I could have died yesterday. If Thoren and his team had waited the six hours to verify that I was lost, or Shadow hadn’t been out there helping, I would have died. It makes things like this seem trivial.
When I step back and look at it from an outsider’s perspective, Thoren went out of his way to spend his money on something that was important to me. I can be mad at the lie, but being upset about him putting such a high value on my justice and feelings is just stupid. Thoren has shown time and time again that he is going to be by my side through it all. That I am his number one priority in life. It’s a heady feeling standing in the glow of his love.
I grab her wrist after she ties off the braid, pulling her down so I can see her. “Don’t yell at me for almost dying and we are even.”
She barks a surprised laugh, wrapping me in a hug, “Deal.”
Thoren makes it back with an army in tow, each one with their hands full. “I got you some tea. The nurse said it would be okay,” he says, handing me a cup from his tray, before giving another to Michele and taking the last for himself. “You look beautiful,” he whispers, dropping a kiss on my forehead.
“It’s good to see you up,” Evelyn says, pushing him out of the way to hug me. “I didn’t think we were allowed to bring anything in the ICU, but I guess River knows the tricks. The basket is from him.”
David gingerly places a basket on my lap, giving my shoulder a squeeze. I peek through the gift, seeing fuzzy socks, a thick robe, some newly released romance books, a candle, and some lotion. There’s a bulky envelope slipped in the middle, so I grab it out.
Thought these might be helpful for you in the future. Glad you’re okay.
-Riv
I dump the contents to find a compass and a bumper sticker that says ‘Support Search and Rescue: Get Lost’. Chuckling, I slip the items back into the basket and place it on the table next to me. He is a good and kind man, but also kind of an ass, and I can’t help but love him for it.
“Jake was going to come check on you, but Shadow is an anxious mess right now, so he is staying with her instead,” Thoren says, tucking me back under all the blankets before wrapping himself around me again. “She’s the one who found you first, and I think it’s killing her not knowing you’re okay. Jake said he snuck over to our house and had to steal one of your shirts to calm her.”
He pulls his phone from his pocket, scrolling to the text thread to Jake. There’s a photo of Shadow snuggled on the couch, my shirt under her head.
David speaks up from his spot on the wall, laughing lightly. “She tried to follow you into the ambulance. It took both Jake and I to hold her back. That dog is as much yours as Thoren’s.”
“Damn straight. Lily’s her mom,” Thoren says proudly. “I like the sound of that. Can we come back here in nine months to make you a real mom?”
My wide eyes turn to him, beaming at the casual drop of wanting to get me pregnant.
“That’s our cue,” Evelyn says, patting my leg. “We just wanted to see you and drop off River’s gift. The fridge and freezer will be stocked with meals when you get home. If you need anything else, you just call, dear. Oh, and I will make an excellent grandma.”
She walks out of the room completely nonchalant, as David makes his way over. He drops a kiss on the top of my head. “Glad you’re doing okay. I’d be a good grandpa, too, in case you were wondering.” He follows his wife out, and I turn to look at Thoren, whose smile is even wider somehow.
Michele puts her hands up when I look at her. “I’m staying out of this. Thoren, I expect expert level groveling. Lily, rest up and then put that man to work. I’m around if you guys need anything.”
My nurse comes in to bring me soup, and Michele clears out her things, promising to stop by tomorrow morning again. Thoren feeds me each sip slowly, despite my protest, then snuggles right back into bed with me to catch up on sleep. My body is utterly exhausted, the shower having used every ounce of energy I had. I soak in Thoren’s body heat, and drift off to sleep with him.