34. Lily
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
lily
“ Y ou know they said I could walk, right?” I ask, as Thoren carries me from the truck bridal style.
“Yep, doesn’t mean you have to. That ankle is still bruised, and I like carrying you. I get to practice for when I do this with you in a white dress.” The minute he pushes the front door open, Shadow launches herself at us, jumping up to lick me while whining.
He rushes me to the couch, gently setting me on it. Shadow is at my side immediately, kissing my face with fervor. “Gentle,” Thoren tells her, and she lays down, plopping her head into my lap.
“I missed you, too, girl,” I tell her as she rolls onto her back to look up at me. “Thank you for finding me.”
Thoren walks out, giving us a moment, before coming back in with arms full of flowers. “We have a lot of these in the kitchen,” he says, putting three vases on the coffee table. “These three are from Andrea, River, and Amber. I really like her, by the way. There’s four more in the kitchen from the SAR team, Michele, my parents, and even Jake.”
“There are also these.” He hands me some get well soon cards, and on the bottom of it all is the proof copy of my book. He kneels in front of the couch, hands sliding up my legs. “I want you to know that I am so proud of you. This book is incredible. You are incredible. I am so sorry that you didn’t get to celebrate it because of my stupid shit.”
“You read it?” my voice squeaks out.
“Michele saw it on the counter when she grabbed your clothes and brought it. I read it every time you slept.” I lean forward, smoothing my lips over his. There are no reservations left when it comes to this man. He has consumed me, and I am his.
His rough fingers stroke my cheeks when I pull back. “Thank you. We can celebrate the release instead.” My stomach rumbles, clearly unsatisfied with the hospital food of the last few days. “Will you make us dinner?”
“Absolutely. Give our girl some more love,” he says, rubbing Shadow’s belly as he places the cards and book on the table before heading to the kitchen.
It’s good to finally be home. I spent two more nights at the hospital because movement was still slow going for a while. My concussion is manageable, and I just need to be careful on my ankle for another week. Overall, I am beyond lucky that things aren’t worse. I didn’t realize how close I was to death until the doctor laid it all out for me, scolding me for putting the emergency blanket over my wet and cold clothes. At least I know for next time. God, I hope there is no next time.
Michele came back to visit every morning, and Amber even stopped by on her way to see Jana. I had Thoren text my parents to let them know what had happened, and a small part of me hoped that they would fly out, but they didn’t. They didn’t even call, instead texting a simple ‘glad you’re okay’. That hurt more than I want to admit, but I am coming to terms that they will never be the parents I want them to be.
If my brush with death wasn’t enough to warrant a phone call, then nothing will be able to mend what’s broken. I won’t fight for people that don’t want to fight for me. I spent too long trying to please others that didn’t see me. For months now, I have been working towards being confident in who I am and not accepting less than I deserve.
I’m learning that family isn’t necessarily the people that you share your DNA with, but those that choose to be a part of your life. The love I have from my family here is more than my love-starved heart could have ever hoped for.
It’s that love that has had my head spinning these last few days. The only thought that ran through my head while I laid on the cold forest floor was that I still had things I wanted to do with my life. I saw visions of my white dress with Thoren waiting for me at the end of the aisle. His hands latched onto mine, smiling brightly, as he encouraged me to give one more good push. His soft voice singing to our child as he danced around the kitchen. His legs wrapped around my body as I nestled back onto his chest, both of us watching our little boys and Shadow play in the water at our spot.
“Chicken enchiladas, shepherd's pie, or lasagna for dinner tonight?” Thoren calls from the kitchen, bringing me back to reality.
“Lasagna sounds incredible. Did your mom make all those meals?”
“Those are just the first ones available. We won’t have to cook dinner for weeks with all this food,” he jokes, taking a seat on the couch next to me. “Want to pick a movie while the oven heats?”
“No, I want to talk to you about something.” I turn to face him as best as possible without moving and upsetting Shadow.
“I don’t like the sound of that. What’s going on, baby?”
“Did you mean what you said in the hospital? That I am your everything and you see your future with me?”
“Lily, you are my sun, moon, and stars. The brightest spot in my days, the one I look forward to seeing every night, and the one I have wished for all my life, and have finally found. Yes, I meant every word of it,” his hands clasp mine, his eyes radiating sincerity.
There is no more time for fear in my life. I have a second chance and I am jumping in with both feet. He is the one my soul longs for, and I want to start our future now.
“I want to have your baby,” I blurt. “When I was out there alone in the woods, all I could think of was my future with you. Mad as hell at you and your dumb lie, it was still your heart I wanted to make my home in. I know it’s soon, and crazy, and we aren’t even engaged and life has been throwing us curve balls… but I love you, Thoren James, and I want to have your baby.”
He sits stock still, unblinking, his mouth opening, then closing again. I can feel the sweat roll down my neck, anxiety taking over. He isn’t ready. His comments and jokes have been just that, jokes.
He shakes off his shocked face, wraps his arms around me and picks me up, spinning me in a circle. He peppers kisses across my face before gently setting me on my feet. He leans back to look me in the eyes, his glassy and filled with happiness. “You want to have my babies?”
“I do.”
I’m picked right back up as I wrap my legs around his waist. Shadow huffs behind us, left out again, as Thoren barrels up the stairs. “You can’t say those two words to me baby,” he breathes into my neck, “They make my dick hard coming from your sweet mouth.”
“I thought you were heating up our dinner?” I ask, a little breathless as he lays me on the bed, climbing on top.
He lifts my shirt, kissing his way from my hip bone to the bottom of my bra, flicking his tongue over the fabric covering my peeked nipple. “That’s on pause,” he pulls down the cup, wrapping his warm lips over the pebbled bud. “I’m going to put a baby in you first.”
I huff a laugh, sucking in a sharp breath when his teeth clamp down. “A baby before dinner, huh?”
“Baby, your perfect little pussy will be dripping with my cum every day until there’s a positive on a stick.” He lowers my other bra cup, licking his way to the other nipple. “Probably every day after, too.”
Achingly slow, he strips us both of our clothes, his hands gliding across my skin with reverence. His lips follow his hands, kissing every inch of exposed skin. He settles himself over me, one hand trailing down my stomach to find me ready for him.
“You’re soaked for me,” he whispers, one finger slipping into me easily.
“Please don’t tease me, Thoren. I need you.” My fingers grip his biceps, my back arching as he strokes just the right spot.
“You know I’ll give you anything you ask for,” he removes his finger, bringing it to my lips, tracing it over them. Lining himself up, he takes my lip in a searing kiss as he pushes into me. He licks and sucks on my lips, tasting every drop of me that he painted there. He circles his hips, stretching me out to take him.
“You take my cock so well, princess.” He sits on his knees, holding me spread wide for him. His thrusts are slow and even, angled the way I need him. His hazel eyes watch me intently, sparkling with unadulterated desire, showing me every nuance of his emotions. He keeps the rhythm steady, building us up gradually. Large hands graze up my thighs, one of them moving up to pinch and pluck my nipples, the thumb of his other circling my clit with delicious pressure.
“I love you,” I cry out, as he replaces his fingers on my breast with his mouth.
He moves up to take my mouth, never stopping his thumb from keeping me right on edge. His soft lips part mine, his stubble tickling my cheeks. Thoren kisses me as slowly and steadily as he’s fucking me, driving me wild. He’s showing me he’s here to be my constant. To be my steady rock in the rushing river, redirecting the pain and onslaught of the outside world. His tongue swirls around mine before retreating to kiss up my jaw line.
“I love you,” he breathes into my ear. His hips pick up the pace, his thumb circling faster as his breathing grows ragged. My sensitive nipples glide over the smattering of hair on his chest, bringing my orgasm to the edge. “Come with me, baby. Fall apart with me so I can stitch us back together.”
His teeth clamp down on the sensitive spot below my ear, setting off my orgasm as I shatter around him. Thoren grunts in my ear as his hips falter and he fills me with hot bursts of cum. Our sweat slicked bodies stick together as he lies on top of me, catching his breath. Aftershocks of my orgasm skitter through me as he sits up and pulls out of me.
I close my legs on instinct, but his calloused hands pull my thighs apart, watching as his cum drips from me. His eyes meet mine as he reaches down and uses two fingers to shove it back inside. Tingles of heat travel through me as he watches me with a fire in his eyes.
“Such a good girl, not wasting a drop.” He places a featherlight kiss on my nose before covering me up with the blankets. He doesn’t bother cleaning up, throwing on sweats while smirking when he notices my eyes glued to his biteable ass. “Stay there and make our baby, I’ll be back with food.”
I snuggle under the blankets, soaking in the soft feel of them against my skin, laced in Thoren’s amber scent. It’s such a stark contrast from the sterile, scratchy blankets I had in the hospital. The comforts and care that Thoren put into this home, our home, astounds me. He put together every piece of this with a family in mind, and I get to be part of that family.
Shadow comes bounding up the stairs, jumping onto the bed, curling into my side. Her fur is cold from the crisp night air, but her tongue is hot as she licks my hand. I missed her while I was in the hospital. I don’t know how to communicate to her how grateful I am to have her. She bit Tyler when he hurt me, she found me in the woods, and she has been the best little wing woman between Thoren and I. I rub her ears, kissing her soft nose, and breathe in her stinky dog breath. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Heavy footfalls trudge up the stairs as Thoren pops into the room with a tray of food. “This looks oddly familiar. Am I about to get edged again?”
His eyes dance with mirth, “That mouth of yours, Lily.” He sets the tray on my lap, crawling in bed next to me as he grabs his plate of lasagna. “So I thought of something while I was downstairs.”
“Yeah?” I reply, blowing on a steamy bite of my dinner.
“Can you even get pregnant right now? Aren’t you on birth control?” he asks before shoving a bite in his mouth.
“I haven’t taken it for the last three nights since I was in the hospital. I was thinking I would just stop altogether.” I take a bite of the lasagna, groaning at how cheesy and delicious it is. “I might keep you around just to have access to your mom’s food.”
He nudges my shoulder. “Keep making those noises and I don’t care why you stick around, as long as you do.”
“Dick,” I mutter, taking another bite.
“Lily James, did you just call me a dick?! I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear,” he mocks, one hand over his chest.
“Oh shut it, I have to balance you out somehow. Did you just call me Lily James?”
His eyes light with mischief. “Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”
We eat the rest of our dinner, passing playful quips back and forth. Thoren takes the dishes downstairs, so I make my way to the shower. Standing for long periods is still uncomfortable on my tender ankle, but I need to get the feel of the hospital off of me. Thoren joins me halfway through, demanding I sit as he finishes washing my hair for me. He rushes through his own shower, stepping out first to get my towel and dry me off.
Once I’m dry, he wraps me in the fluffy robe from River and sets me on the counter. He takes out my blow dryer, spending the next fifteen minutes meticulously drying every strand of hair. “I don’t want you getting cold,” he says when I ask why he insisted on doing it. Butterflies take flight in my stomach over his gentle touch and insistence on taking care of me.
We crawl back into bed together, snuggling under the blankets, his fingers combing through my hair. There’s one thing that has been niggling at me for a few days, so I ask, “Did you sell your land for me?”
“Not entirely,” he admits. “The money will help with paying for Kinsley, yes. But it will also take care of things for us for a while. I own a lot of land, Lily, and it seems selfish to keep it all to myself. Paying for Kinsley was just the thing to get the ball rolling in this case.”
The way he lays it flat out for me is both a stab and a balm to my heart. I asked for honesty, even if he thinks it will hurt me and he is giving it to me. It bothers me that he is giving up something he carefully invested in for me.
“I wish you could take it back. I’ll find a way to pay for Kinsley, even if we lose the case. I could do some signing tours to bring in some money. I never wanted to before because traveling alone never appealed to me.”
“It’s okay, baby. I’m not upset about it. I would sell it all to take care of you. Sleep now, you still need to rest. We don’t have anything to worry about.”
I close my eyes, breathing in his warm skin beneath me, feeling Shadow stretch out near my legs, and I truly feel it.
This is happiness.
This is home.
Everything is going to be okay.