Chapter 18
Betty
My flyaways stick to my forehead and neck as I exit my car in the small lot down the street from the bar we’re meeting at for girls’ night.
River insisted Gray would pick me up, but I needed those few minutes alone.
I’ve avoided nights like this since college, when I no longer needed to pretend I actually enjoyed them.
Not to mention the confrontation with Nash has me twisted in knots so tight I’m not sure I’ll be able to undo them.
Sweat coats my palms as my nerves kick in. This was to be a small thing, but the list kept growing. River invited Sadie and Joy. Joy is bringing her friend Reyna. Then I invited Harper. I figured that if we were adding to the list, we must all need this night off.
I wasn’t sure Harper would say yes, but then the woman practically jumped at the opportunity to get out of the house. Her parents are in town for the Summer Explosion festivities, and so she had a built-in babysitter.
There’s a lazy vibe as I enter through the front double doors. With low lighting, the red interior is set ablaze, creating a mysterious ambiance. Massive leather couches surround tables with low-lit candles, both lining the walls and positioned at the center of the space.
River had mentioned the grand opening about a month ago, and we thought it would be a great place to try this weekend. Tourists crowd the smaller towns, but they tend to avoid larger cities such as Carruthersville and Harper’s Hallow. They’re too much like what they can get at home.
Plus, tomorrow is the big parade, and they have the beach meetup after. I hadn’t joined them last year, but River assured me it was a massive reunion. Fun time or not, I won’t be there. You can find me on my couch with a movie playing, avoiding the crowds.
“Betty!” Joy calls, waving me toward a massive curved corner booth. All the girls are here, including a stunning woman I don’t recognize, but Harper is still missing. Checking my phone, there’s a text from her.
Harper: Running 20 min late. Be there soon.
Me: No worries. I just got here.
“Hey,” we all smile as I hug Joy, River, and Sadie. “Betty,” I introduce myself to Joy’s friend Reyna.
“Betty, this is another one of our childhood friends, Amalie. She’s a new mom of twins and definitely needed a night out,” River introduces me to the glamorous woman beside her.
“Hi,” I smile wide, shaking her hand. “Is your husband with the babies?” I ask, taking the drink River shoves at me.
I notice that she and Joy are the only ones with soda water. I say nothing, though. It’s possible that River is exhausted from the workday, and who knows about Joy? Alcohol puts me to sleep as if I were hit with a dart tranquilizer when I’m that tired.
“Yeah,” Amalie rolls her eyes. “The big baby was scared to be with them alone for the first time, so he’s got his sister and my mom there with him.”
We all laugh. Men can be such babies, but that’s to be expected.
Time seems to pass at a rapid pace as we sip our drinks and gab about nothing.
It’s nice having women I actually enjoy spending time with.
There are several girls from high school I still see from time to time or keep in touch with, but mostly our lives don’t align, and that’s okay.
But for once, I don’t have to pretend to be happy, or bubbly, or fun.
I can groan and roll my eyes or be disagreeable, and the world isn’t crumbling at my feet.
I’ve had my brother and the bar, and now I have Miller Inn and River and…
Well, there’s no Ward anymore, is there? If I go to him and tell him I choose him, my eyes will lie. My heart will eventually betray me because it still belongs to Nash. And that will only hurt him more in the long run. I refuse to do that to someone else.
I’d considered what Nash said to me today.
Every word has been turned over in my mind a million times.
I shouldn’t believe him. His actions have only shown that he is here to do nothing but play games.
He has proven time and time again that he can’t honestly want me or care because otherwise he wouldn’t string me along, knowing how I feel about him. No good person would do that.
So, I then considered that maybe Nash isn’t the good man I always thought he was. Maybe he’s nothing more than this image I concocted in my head at ten years old. I’ve seen other sides of him these past months. Angry. Possessive. Sweet. Aloof. Uninterested. You name it, it’s been there.
But I felt him too. I felt his response to me and the way he held my cheek and kissed me. The question isn’t whether he finds me attractive. I think that much is clear. He does. His body reacts to my touch, and his eyes smolder with heat. But being attracted to me isn’t what I want from him.
I want it all. I want everything.
“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Harper’s southern chirp pulls me out of my thoughts as her hand finds my shoulder.
I stand to hug her as we slide over to make room for her on the end. “Ladies, this is Harper Brookes. She’s new to town and working with Beckett at the law firm.”
They each wave, introducing themselves one by one.
“Tell us about yourself,” Sadie says, flagging the server for another drink. She, too, is a new mom. For a minute, it makes me wonder if something is in the water. I’m fairly certain I heard Joy is pregnant, too.
Staring down at my drink, my stomach churns. Perhaps if there is something in the water, it will affect my ice, too.
My hand runs over my soft, flat stomach, remembering that time in my life.
A time when I thought I’d found someone I could spend forever with, though I was in love with another man.
Ryan and I had been happily dating for three years.
Our relationship progressed as it should have, culminating in our decision to move in together after two years.
Everything was fine. We were fine, and then everything changed.
In an instant, my world seemed to fall apart. We fell apart. It wasn’t because of him but because of me. I never told him the truth. Only my mother knows what happened.
I retreated into myself and pulled away until we called it quits. That’s when I moved into my apartment. That’s when I rebuilt myself, but one thing remained… the stars in my eyes when I thought of Nash Donovan.
“Mommies unite,” Amalie cheers with her drink in the air. “We have babies, but that just means you can help guide us. We’re both first-time moms,” she points to her and Sadie.
“At least Rhodes did the single-dad thing for eleven years first. Gives us a head start.” Sadie takes a long drag through her straw.
I’d swear she was still pregnant the way her skin glows and those mismatched eyes of hers sparkle.
“Single parenthood is no joke,” Harper concedes, crossing her long legs.
“What happened to the father, if you don’t mind my asking?” Amalie chimes in.
“We got a divorce. I wasn’t happy, so I left. Pretty simple. He still wants to be part of her life, but he’s in Alabama, and we’re here.” Harper shrugs as if it’s no big deal. I’ve never met a woman so unbothered by everything, and it’s refreshing as can be.
“Well, there are plenty of cowboys to choose from,” River snorts.
“Just ask Joy and me. We picked the grumpiest ones.” They laugh in unison as if they share some magical secret.
I suspect they do. Those two snagged the Garrison brothers.
Plenty of women had their eyes on those bachelors, but they never gave them the time of day.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Harper snorts, sipping her drink again.
Our group laughter rings through the bar, but we swiftly change the topic to stories of the past. Their antics from the beach party last July’s Summer Explosion and warnings for Harper about Old Man Wilber and his dog Patches, our favorite two menaces in Cole County.
“He’s ridiculous. It wasn’t enough that I came here to help when he broke his femur.
Oh, no…” Sadie waves her hand through the air, her long ponytail swaying with her movement.
“This man decided he is once again going to climb the same tree because he’s not paying someone to do something he can do on his own, and…
” she pauses dramatically, a single finger held in the air, “He still plans on riding next week.” Sadie’s hand slaps her bare thigh as if in disbelief that her grandfather is so crazy.
She’s not. She knows, but she worries about him. It’s sweet.
“Rides what?” Harper breathes.
“Bulls!” Joy, River, and Sadie all groan at once.
“Is it bad that I might want to see that?” Harper chuckles, just before River’s gaze tracks somewhere behind me. Her eyes immediately light up, only for Joy, Reyna, and Sadie’s to follow.
Spinning in my seat, a line of men approaches us. The Garrison brothers, Rhodes with a baby carrier strapped to his front—how he got in with that is beyond me—and a man I don’t recognize, whom I assume is Reyna’s man.
“Ladies, let’s go,” Gray mumbles.
We’re all on our feet in seconds, hugging and promising to do this again soon. The ladies fawn over Rhodes, bouncing him and Sadie’s son, making cooing noises while we finish up. I keep my back to the moment as my stomach churns once more.
Linking my arm through Harper’s, we head out behind the crew when a male voice stops me in my tracks.
I swear the universe is doing everything in its power to keep this man in my path, and it feels like torture.
Harper leans in close, whispering in my ear. “Isn’t that the same guy from the cafe?”
“Yeah, I am,” Nash stops in front of us. “Do you need a ride home?” he asks Harper.
“No, I’ll manage.” She hugs me again before exiting the bar with the rest of our group, leaving me alone with the man I can’t seem to escape.
I move to follow them, but Nash links his fingers through mine, keeping time with me. We step out into the heat of the night. Dallas, Amalie’s husband, is parked at the curb, the two of them leaning in the back, checking on the twins.
So many babies… I’m distracted, fighting the nausea that makes bile creep up my throat when Nash’s words pull me out of it. “Can I take you somewhere?”
“Why?” My brow scrunches in confusion.
He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, running his thumb over my cheek. “Because I have to prove to you I meant what I said.”
Dammit, if my heart didn’t just skip a beat.