Chapter 19
Betty
My palms sweat as I stare up into Nash’s blue eyes. I know I should say no. I should walk away because this only ends one way. This ends with me in tears and heartbroken all over again.
How many times will I let the same cycle repeat itself?
Yet, there’s an emotion I’ve never seen before alive in those swirls of blue. They seem to open like the depths of the ocean, allowing me to peer into the depths of his soul. It’s unnerving, but draws me in.
Nash has been in my life since I was a kid.
He’s steady, quiet most times, but has always been kind.
He has always been respectful and would go out of his way to help another person.
That’s the version I’m in love with—the man I knew growing up.
Sure, I’m aware of the life he started in Montana.
He found love once, the way I thought I had.
It’s the surface-level parts of him I know in the present, but with the way he’s looking at me now, it’s as if I can see all the nitty-gritty pieces that linger beneath.
The things he reserves for the people he loves most.
It’s that look that leaves my fingers trembling as I place my hand in his waiting palm.
The moment our skin touches, his smile lights up the night. The one he used to wear as we laughed around the table for Sunday night dinners. Every tooth is on display as the corners of his eyes crinkle.
“Where’s your truck?” He pointedly checks up and down the sidewalk as if it will miraculously appear.
“The lot down there.” His eyes track where I point before linking our fingers and leading the way.
We don’t say a word. Still, the silence between us is comfortable. I wonder what he’s thinking. Is he as nervous as I am about whatever we’re going to do? His focus seems to shift between the street on his left and somewhere past me on the right.
The liquor warms my belly, contributing to the electrical sparks with every brush of Nash’s thumb over my knuckles. It provides comfort I easily melt into, as if he only wants to remind me he’s here. We’re connected.
“Keys?”
Digging in my purse, I hear them jingle but can’t seem to find them amongst all the crap I carry around with me.
“One sec,” I huff out a breath.
“Baby, you need to have your keys out before you get to your truck. You’ll be safer that way.
” I want to roll my eyes at his overprotective nonsense.
I’ve worked in a bar for years, and I can handle myself.
Cole County isn’t some crime-ridden place where it’s not safe for a woman to be out at night alone.
Releasing his hand, I keep digging, only to pause. “Did you call me, baby?” My gaze shifts up to meet his, that grin once again stretching wide.
“I did. Problem?”
It’s as if my brain short-circuits. Heat creeps up my cheeks, and I have no idea how to respond to the pet name.
Andromeda is one thing. That dates back to my childhood, but baby.
That’s… My heart flutters in my chest as butterflies swarm my belly.
It’s finally happening. Nash is for real this time.
“Um…” I’m still searching for words when my finger finally slips through the key ring, the solar system chain attached to it making Nash laugh.
“You still have this?”
“Of course,” I snap, offended he’s laughing about it. “Beckett gave that to me for my twelfth birthday.”
His fingers tuck that same chunk of loose hair behind my ear, grazing my cheek.
I melt into his touch. This is all I’ve ever wanted: his kindness, his touch, his heart.
“I remember. I was there. It was a Sunday dinner, and you insisted on keeping it on the table, flashing it no less than fifty times.”
“You remember that?” I breathe, semi-stunned that he would recall such a meaningless event for himself as he ushers me into my passenger seat.
Warm breath fans over my face as Nash leans in close, his mouth hovering over mine.
The scent of his cologne wafts up my nostrils as his eyes shift down to my mouth and back up to meet my stare.
Just a fraction of an inch, and his mouth would be on mine.
Every breath is labored as I wait and wait and wait. “Betty, it may have taken me a minute to notice the woman in front of me, but you were my family growing up. Nothing means more to me than family. Never forget that.”
A harsh swallow is forced down my throat as he leans his head to the side.
My tongue darts out, wetting my lips, ready for him to consume me and set my insides on fire once again, but he only pulls away, tapping the side of the truck.
“Seatbelt,” he nods before shutting the door and stalking around to the driver’s side.
“Goodness gracious,” I release a ragged breath, my hand resting on my chest.
The energy between us is more charged than it’s ever been. And I don’t know how to handle it.
Once again silent, Nash puts the truck in reverse before pulling out of the lot and swinging us onto the road. The AC is blasting the way I’d left it, but I roll my window down, leaning out, allowing the warm night air to wash over my face.
“Are you cold?” he asks.
“No.” I allow my eyes to drift shut and just exist in the moment.
The fresh air and the sounds of a bustling small-town-county around me, full of cheer, and pops of fireworks in the distance.
Cole County is home. It always has been, but when I close my eyes like this, I can pretend I’m somewhere else.
The same set of stars shines bright in the sky, but the land is different; the seasons and people have changed.
In my mind, I can be anywhere else but here.
“I’m a windows-down all year-round kind of girl,” I respond softly, as a lazy smile pulls at my lips.
The soft whir of the driver’s window descending pulls my focus back to Nash’s side of the truck. He, too, has his window down now, his arm resting on the edge more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him. The veins along his forearm pop while his thick hair blows in the breeze as we fly down the open road.
I hadn’t realized we were moving toward the outskirts of town. The areas where there’s still open land, and the ranches and farms are all you’ll find.
Angling my body toward him, I bend my leg up enough that my heel can rest on the seat and my chin on my knee as I grin his way. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
“Fine. Then tell me about your life.” Regardless of whether Nash breaks my heart again, I want to know him—his likes, dislikes, what brings him joy, and his greatest fear. I want to see the world through his eyes.
He chuckles softly, placing a hand on my thigh, rubbing absently along the bare skin before responding. “We’re almost there.”
I barely hear his words as his touch sears my skin. I’d forgotten I was wearing a dress when I cocked my leg up on the seat. From his angle, he’d be able to see my bright pink underwear.
My mind and body battle. One telling me to have some modesty and drop my leg, the other telling me to spread them wider. If he wants to look, let him. It’s what we want too.
It’s then that I notice his eyes keep darting to the apex of my thighs. Moisture already pools there. It had been from the moment he took my hand in his. He’ll see the wet spot if there’s enough light, but I don’t care. I need his eyes on me. I need him not to stop things tonight.
Gravel crunches as he pulls onto what must be a private drive. There’s nothing but trees and land. Not a thing until we’re about half a mile down the road and the dense trees part to reveal a small cabin.
“Where are we?” I ask, contorting my body to stare out of the front windshield as he parks my truck.
He doesn’t answer, climbing out to open my door. I take his hand, hopping out too. My eyes rake over the quaint space. It likely only has a single bedroom, judging from the exterior. The wood has worn over time, but the structure seems solid.
Once again linking his fingers through mine, Nash leads us to the front door, unlocking it and then allowing me to step inside.
The interior is modern yet cozy, draped in hues of hunter green, brown, and taupe. It’s clean as if regularly inhabited, and the scent of pine fills the space—the same pine as Nash’s cologne.
Nash moves behind me, his hands cupping my biceps as he dips his mouth close to my ear. “Welcome to my home.”