Chapter 20
Nash
There was a plan: give Betty space.
It was simple. She’d been furious and hurt, understandably so.
I pride myself on being a man who doesn’t screw with women’s feelings.
Anyone I’ve slept with since Katherine has known exactly what they were getting.
No matter how many times we fucked, that was all it was ever going to be.
I wasn’t looking for a new wife. I wasn’t looking for anything.
There was too much on my plate with work, and I had no stability in my schedule.
How could I foster a genuine relationship when I could be gone for a day or three weeks?
It’s why I had put aside the notion that kids were an option for me a long time ago, too.
It never happened with Katherine. With our divorce went that dream.
I was okay with that. I was content with my life until Beatrice Lola Hughes barged back into my life like a fucking bulldozer and professed her undying love for me in a drunken stupor.
Had she said the words sober, I would have laughed them off as the fun-loving woman pulling a fast one on me.
She was always the life of the party in her younger years.
Beckett kept me up to date on all things Hughes-related, and these are small towns.
Everyone knows everyone. There are no secrets in places like this.
If she hadn’t been so drunk she could barely stand, I would have been able to brush it off as nothing.
I wouldn’t have looked at her as a woman for the first time.
I wouldn’t have ogled her body and wondered what her naked flesh felt like under my palms. My mind wouldn’t have even entertained the thought that we love her laugh and the way she scrunches her nose when someone irritates her, but she still forces her best Betty smile.
None of this would have happened had that night gone differently.
Nash wouldn’t be so eager to know the woman and her quirks and what makes her smile, so those stunning brown eyes sparkle.
He wouldn’t need to be around her every second of every day or allow anyone else to see his possessive side when someone else didn’t hesitate to be with the amazing woman she is.
I was going to give her space. I was going to let her choose when she wanted to have an honest conversation with me.
When we stood there in her bedroom and she asked me why, the only answer I had was jealousy.
It wasn’t good enough, and I wasn’t going to potentially miss out on a chance to make this right with her with some lame-ass words.
After leaving my parents’ house, I came right back to the ranch.
As I stalked back out to the stables, tacked up a horse, and then rode out to the outskirts of the Boulder property line, I had time to think.
As creepy as it sounds, a part of me has always adored Betty’s company.
When she was younger, it was in a brotherly or friend-type way.
Just the same, I enjoyed listening to how she viewed the world. She sees the world in these vibrant colors. Many of us miss them because we’re so caught up in our own lives that we never take a minute to appreciate them.
I haven’t had time to learn much about how her life has turned out as an adult.
I was around less, and she worked as much as I did.
Our encounters were random more often than not until she took over the Miller house, and I took over for my dad.
It’s as if those pivotal moments in our lives brought us back together, and all I’ve done is fuck it up over and over again.
Yet, she keeps giving me chances. We’re drawn to each other no matter how much I tried to talk myself out of it.
“Home?” she questions.
“Uh, yeah. I’ve owned this cabin since I graduated from college. It’s where I stay when I’m in town.” My palms lightly squeeze her biceps again before she turns to face me, my arms immediately looping around her waist.
Her arms remain limp at her sides, her chest arched back as if trying to put space between us. Space I don’t want.
“No. You always stay at the cabins on the ranch. Even when there’s nothing going on.” Her dark brows scrunch low as if searching for another explanation, only to meet my gaze again, her mouth moving awkwardly.
My heart thumps in my chest, hoping she can see everything I’m not saying written on my face.
I stayed at the Miller house because she was there.
It was the only way I could see her all the time, even when I was constantly pushing her away.
It’s how I slept at night, knowing I was close to her, though we weren’t curled up in the same bed.
It’s funny, I thought her feelings for me were absurd. Betty spent twenty-three years of her life being obsessed with me. How? Then, in less than a week, the same happened to me, and I haven’t been able to put her out of my mind either.
I didn’t want to go there because I was sure I wasn’t what she wanted.
Not really. Her childhood dreams were skewed and wrong because she didn’t know the man I’d become.
Still, witnessing her moving on with someone else broke something inside me.
I no longer cared what I thought she deserved as long as she still wanted me.
I’d become that man if it meant I could hold her and listen to her laugh every day.
“Because of you,” I whisper.
“Nash,” she melts into my hold, her chin dropping to her chest.
Not allowing her to protest, I grab hold of her hand and lead her out back.
The poles for the hammock had been in place when I bought the property, but there was no net.
It seemed symbolic at the time, as if I was jumping on my own for the first time, and I was.
Unlike my classmates, I didn’t get a job straight after graduation.
I took the money I’d saved over the years, bought this place, and started building my consulting business.
Sitting in the new hammock I’d added a few years ago first, I carefully drag her down with me.
She giggles, protesting before swinging her legs in, smoothing her dress, and lying next to me in a stiff plank.
I leave my arm behind her head, stroking her shoulder as we stare up at a dark but cloudy sky.
I’d hoped the stars would be out for her tonight, but I’m just glad she came here with me.
“You wanted to know about my life. It’s pretty simple, but here goes.
” Clearing my throat, she shifts to her side so she can watch my face.
I want so badly to kiss her, but those moments have gotten us nowhere so far.
“After college, I stayed in Montana. I’d been dating Katherine for a few years at that point.
She became my person, my home away from home.
We were friends who worked well in a relationship.
I’ve never told anyone but her and my best friend, Hunt, this, but I loved being away from Cole County.
I knew I’d have to come back at some point because Pop would eventually turn over the distribution business to me, but until then, I wanted to live a life outside of small-town USA, so I stayed, built my company, married Katherine, and kept a low profile.
Then I would come back here and see my family, and I realized home wasn’t always a place. It was the people. I missed my people.”
A long breath fills my lungs as I go silent for a moment. Yet Betty keeps her eyes on me, patiently waiting for me to continue. The heat of the night turns our skin sweaty, but I don’t care. Something about this moment seems so cathartic for us. For me.
“Anyway, Katherine and I were married for ten years. We worked non-stop on our respective companies and built that massive house that has never been a home. I liked it in Montana, so it didn’t matter.
She wanted it, and I wanted the land to have my own ranch, but I never found the time to build it.
We never had a family, and over time, we realized we should never have gotten married.
It was okay that we were always meant to be friends, and so we got a divorce.
I stayed, and she left.” Betty tenses beside me, but I don’t ask her why, assuming it’s just in response to my deadpan sob story.
As if reading an encyclopedia, I’d recounted the high points of my life. They aren’t necessarily the important things now, but a base I wanted her to know so she could understand me better in time.
“Did you want that?” she whispers.
“What?” I ask, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. There was no helping it. My lips needed the feel of her skin.
“A family.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t matter now.” She only nods, allowing me to continue. “So here I am, forty, going on forty-one. All I have is my consulting, my friends, and the distribution business. My life is pretty boring, but then you woke me up, so thank you.”
She nuzzles in closer, wrapping an arm across my middle. “My pleasure.”