39. Roman
CHAPTER 39
ROMAN
Standing, I pulled him behind me, leading him to the bathroom. I was stupid for doing this, for taking this chance, but I didn’t care. I was past caring. I was finished living a half-life. I wanted him. God, how I wanted him. He was all I thought of, other than Margot. The two of them had my whole heart.
Turning on the shower, I pulled him against my chest and took his mouth. A groan filled the surrounding air, mixing with the steam that weighed heavily around us. His hands pulled at my clothes as mine wandered over his naked chest.
“God, you’re gorgeous.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve got too many fucking clothes on.”
I smiled at him, reaching over my head and pulling my shirt off. Wrapping my arm around his waist, I yanked him to me. Our chests brushed one another.
“Better?”
He grinned up at me. Mischievousness danced in his eyes, making them shine. He leaned in, our gazes locked as he dragged his tongue over my nipple.
Pleasure coursed through me. That one mostly innocent touch lit me up. I sucked in a hissing, deep breath when he placed a sucking kiss there. “Much better, dontcha think?”
I looked down at him. “Yes.”
My head rolled back on my shoulders, his hands making quick work of my pants. I growled when he fondled my thick, hard dick. I lifted him slightly, so he didn’t put too much weight on his leg as I moved us into the shower.
The hot water washed over us as we lost ourselves in one another’s kisses. Our hands roamed, groping and teasing each other to the brink.
“Turn around.”
He turned toward the wall, and I kneeled behind him. Water cascaded over his back, tumbling over the muscles like a babbling brook over the stones beneath it. His body showed the hell the war could put service members through. There were gunshot wounds, long, thin scars from knives, and neater ones from a scalpel.
He looked over his shoulder. Our eyes met. Holding his gaze, I leaned in and rained kisses over his hard, sculpted ass. The muscles jumped under my touch, and I sank my fingers into them to keep him in place. I wanted a taste.
That was a lie.
I wanted the whole damn meal.
I wanted to feast on him.
So, I did.
I spread his cheeks, burying my face between them as I licked and sucked his hole until it fluttered like a hummingbird.
The symphony coming from him spurred me on. Pressing my tongue against the opening, I held still, pressing insistently against the ring of muscle.
“Jesus God, Roman. What in fucking tarnation are you doing to me? That shouldn’t feel so good.”
I grabbed the lube I’d left in here earlier. I coated my fingers before wrapping them around his dick. I gave it a soft tug. Nothing satisfying. I didn’t want him too close to the edge. Not quite yet. I wanted him so spun up that he didn’t know up from down, left from right, or, hell, white from black.
Letting my fingers dance over his balls, I pressed against the spot behind them.
“Holy fuck!” he growled through gritted teeth.
I’d’ve smirked if I could, but that cause of his garbled expletive distracted him enough to loosen him up, and I plunged my tongue into him, licking and sucking and nibbling the rim of his ass. The taste and smell of him overwhelmed my senses. My cock surged past half speed to full throttle, so fast an Olympic sprinter wouldn’t have been able to keep pace.
Easing back from his hole, I dragged my fingers through his crack to the depths hidden there as I murmured, “That’s a rim job. I hope you liked it because, with the way you taste and smell, not to mention the sounds you make, I’m going to pitch a tent and make camp there.”
“A rim job?” his voice soft and curious until I pressed my middle finger against his opening, not stopping until I buried it inside him.
“Oh, hell.”
His head turned back to the wall, his forehead resting against the tile.
“Need me to stop?”
“I’ll string you up by your toes and use you as a pinata if you fucking do.”
“Good to know.”
Moving slowly so he could adjust, I moved one finger in and out of him. A snail was faster, but he was so damn tight. If I ever wanted inside him and he enjoyed it, and Lord have mercy, how I wanted to plunge my cock in him ruthlessly, then patience was the key.
“Wrap your hand around your dick.”
He rushed to do as he was told, and I realized, unlike most men I’d been with, he’d waited to touch, doing nothing else. I said grab his dick, and that’s what he did. His fingers curled around the shaft, and they didn’t budge.
I didn’t know if it was submission or how overwhelmed he was with his first sexual experience. Whatever it was, I was here for it.
“Not so tight.”
His grip relaxed with a whimper.
“Good. That’s perfect, Carson. You’re perfect.”
A moan trembled on his lips, falling from them. His ass cheeks clenched. His body strung tight, poised for the chase I knew he had to have in a stranglehold.
“Stroke yourself.”
His arm moved in a rush, and I instructed him. “Slowly.”
No sound escaped. I looked up at him, and his jaws clamped down. His teeth had to be close to bursting. He moved again, slowly, just like I ordered, and I twisted my finger around and hooked his prostate as I pulled it out.
He shuddered, shifting his weight. My eyes flew to his injured leg, watching him to ensure he kept his weight off his leg. All the while, I played with his ass, fucking him. Fast enough to edge him but methodical enough to prep him.
As he loosened up and lost himself to the pleasure rolling through his body, I added a second finger. I kept pace with the way he stroked his dick. I loved when I was in his position—fucking and getting fucked. There wasn’t anything quite like it.
I pressed in a third finger but paused when he hissed.
“Dear fucking mother of Christ, don’t fucking stop,” he groaned.
Twisting my wrist, turning my fingers, I screwed them into him as I watched his face. I didn’t want to hurt him. But a few moments later, I buried my first three fingers to the hand in him, and the pinched look on his face melted away.
His mouth fell open in a silent scream as I fucked his ass earnestly, opening and stretching him to take me. The look, the way he moved, and responded. He could’ve been a porn star. So responsive and unreserved, and it made my cock ache and pulse, begging for relief.
I pushed it all away. Turned off all emotion. Shut down the feelings that being with him brewed within me. I had to because if I didn’t ignore them, I would cum just watching him, and that’s not what I wanted.
I wanted to come inside him.
Raw and buried as deep as I could get.
But first, I needed him ready for me. I spun my fingers. My knuckles rolled over the bundle of nerves, and he called out to me softly, his voice hoarse and deep.
“Roman…”
“Yeah?”
“I need… fuck me.”
“What do you need?”
“You to fuck me. I want you inside me.”
“That’s the plan.”
“Fuck the plan. It’s time to execute.”
I laughed as I slicked my cock with one hand while the fingers of the other slid in and out of him, over and over.
His hand shot out, wrapping around my throat. “Rome. Fuck me. Now.”
I climbed to my feet, grabbed the shower chair, and pushed him to sit on it. I knelt before him, taking his mouth with mine, and lining myself up. I wrapped my hand around his length and pressed the head of my dick against his opening.
Tongues dueled, twisting and turning, fucking in and out of the other’s mouth, and ever so slowly, Carson opened for me. I slid into him little by little. The grunts and groans that bounced off the tile walls fed the lust coursing through me and him until he hissed.
Backing away from his mouth, I rested my forehead against his, waiting for him.
“Roman…”
Cupping his cheeks, I tilted his face up to mine so I could look into his beautiful blue eyes. “Yes, love.”
“I can’t… oh, God.”
I held perfectly still, then brushed my thumbs beneath his eyes. I couldn’t be certain, not with the shower running and the room filled with steam, but my gut told me the moisture I wiped away was tears. I kissed him softly and began pulling out.
“No!” he yelled, pulling me back to him.
“Carson… it’s alright. I didn’t loosen you up enough. We’ll try again.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You said you can’t.”
He laughed, and I groaned as his channel pulsed around my dick. As ramped up as I was, I was shocked I didn’t come on the spot.
“I didn’t mean I can’t, at least not that way. I meant I can’t believe how good it feels. It’s better than anything I could imagine.”
“Thank God.”
A smirk danced on his face briefly before he said, “Imma need you to move, doc.”
I smiled at him. “I don’t know. I’m pretty happy where I am.”
“On your knees on the tile floor?”
“Okay. You’ve got a point.”
He pulled me to him. Our mouths crashed together, and we got lost in each other. There were words and pleas, grunts and groans. Who they came from, I had no clue, and I didn’t care. The way our bodies moved was the stuff of dreams.
Hands roamed, gripped, and caressed.
Lips and tongues danced and toyed.
Lights flashed behind closed lids in a kaleidoscope of color. It was stunning, but nowhere near as beautiful as he was when our gazes met and held as I lost control and rhythm. My hips jerked, and I reached for his dick, determined he would be right there with him.
“You’re behind schedule, doc. I’m already there.”
“Fuck!” I growled, taking his mouth to conceal the scream that threatened, as my balls drew up against me and cum shot from my dick, filling him.
The warm, sticky fluid filled him, washing back over me. I fucked my way through it, forcing some of it out of him. It dripped down my cock, rolled over my balls, and down my thighs. The water raining down on us mixed with it, washing it down the drain.
Dropping my head to his, I wrapped him in my arms as I shuddered through the most profound, mind-blowing orgasm I’d ever experienced. I’d spent years chasing this feeling and the connection I had with Carson, trying to find it with someone else, only to be disappointed time and time again. Everyone who was supposed to love me abandoned me except Mama and Carson.
Although, I didn’t give Carson the option. I hid who I was and how I felt about him until I cut him from my life. Why? I couldn’t say for sure. Self-preservation? Maybe? At least, that’s what I told myself. All I knew was I did it and regretted it for the last ten years.
But he came back to me.
Since our eyes met in the hospital last summer, my world has gone from grayscale with periods of color, thanks to Margot, to every color of the rainbow in high definition.
Yeah, I had my doubts about his job, DADT, and so many other things, but I decided when he and the team were found that I was going all in.
Was it perfect?
No.
Would it ever be?
No. Never.
Then again, nothing was ever absolutely perfect. Given the sex like we just had and the way he made me feel when we were together, and, hell, even when we were apart, it didn’t need to be perfection. It was close enough and worth fighting for.
Plus, I also had to consider Margot. The way she’d taken to him and how he responded to her was what every parent hoped for when pursuing a relationship. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Margot deserved two parents who were staunchly in her corner, and I felt certain that should something happen to me, Carson would step forward and raise her as his own.
So, while wanting him and loving him could destroy me and my career, it could also save me from a life barely worth getting out of bed for, and that’s all that mattered. We’d figure out the rest as we went along.