40. Carson
CHAPTER 40
CARSON
Finally.
Years ago, I resigned myself to never experiencing this. It wasn’t in the cards for me. Or so I thought, but now that it had happened, and with Roman, I couldn’t help the bittersweet tone that came over me. Everything that happened filled me with ecstasy and overwhelmed me, yet sorrow soaked those feelings.
I pushed that away. There wasn’t anything I could do about the past. I had to keep my focus on what was right in front of me. A three-foot world worked well for me outside the wire, and since Roman seemed deep in thought, I needed to get us up and dry before the nursing staff showed back up.
Turning off the water and dashing it from my face, I slid both hands through my dripping wet hair, slicking it back from my face and squeezing the ends.
When Roman still didn’t move, I asked, “You okay?”
A heavy sigh echoed, and worry took hold.
“Yeah. I’m okay. Just processing.”
I understood that. I was sure there would be a lot of that in the hours between when he left and returned. I wouldn’t have the team around to distract me now that they had shipped back home to Little Creek.
Roman rose to his feet, grabbing a towel for each of us. I dried my lower body before reaching out for the grab bar on the shower wall. Roman moved to help me to my feet, pulling me against him as I stood. I winced at the movement. My ass fucking hurt, but it was well worth the pain.
Tilting my chin to look at him, his gaze locked on my face. His eyes flitted from feature to feature as if he were seeing me for the first time or cataloging and memorizing my features. When his eyes locked on mine, I wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him toward me, my cock perking up at the feel of him pressed against me.
“Ensign Wilcox?”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Panic flooded me, and Roman’s eyes rounded in shock at the muted voice coming from the other side of the bathroom door. I took a deep breath when my eyes flew to the door and saw the engaged lock.
I put my finger to my lips. Roman nodded and I had to bite my lips to keep from laughing at his well-duh expression.
“I’ll be right out,” I called through the still-locked door.
I wrapped the towel around my hips and gave Roman a quick kiss.
“I’ll distract her so you can sneak out.”
He nodded, and I snatched up his clothes, handing them to him before pulling the shower curtain closed. I opened the door, slipping out into the room. A sigh expanded my lungs as relief filled me. The nurse was focused on straightening the bed and her back was to me.
I crossed the room and rounded the bed, so she had to keep her back to the door.
“I’ve told y’all I don’t expect you to pick up after me.”
She continued without looking up.
“Yeah, well, it’s ingrained. So, you’ll just have to deal.”
I laughed, and she glanced up, her gaze landing on my exposed abs. She sucked in a breath, and I schooled my face because Roman’s head appeared around the bathroom door as if it was floating in the air.
“Eyes up here, isn’t that what you girls say?”
“Oh, my God.”
Her face turned every shade of red, from baby pink to fire engine red, as she stammered. Roman shook his head, a shit-eating grin in place as he sneaked out of the room.
I sighed. My plan worked. It wouldn’t have had it been any of my other nurses, but Val had been flirty from the jump, at least according to Roman. He’d mentioned it a couple of times. I sucked at those sorts of clues, which is probably why I never realized Roman felt the same way I did all those years ago.
“I’m just joshin’ ya, Val. No worries.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Like I said, no worries.”
She fumbled through my vitals after stuttering through asking me to get in bed. As she coiled the BP cuff up and replaced it on the cart, she said something I’d been dreading and looking forward to all at once.
“Dr. Milton said he’d be by to talk to you before he left for the night.”
“What?”
“I think you’re getting sprung, but don’t quote me.”
My head bobbed as I swallowed past the lump that appeared in my throat. She patted my shoulder and turned for the door. If she said anything else, I had no fucking clue because all I could think of was Roman, who stood in the doorway, his face looking just as crestfallen as I felt.
“Dr. Ott, nice to see you again,” Val gushed.
I wanted to throttle her. She was flirting with my man after she dropped a mortar round right in the middle of my budding relationship with Roman, and he heard it.
“You as well. Since Ensign Wilcox will ask me after you leave because he’s the impatient sort, do you know when Dr. Milton will be stopping by?”
She glanced at the clock on the wall before replying, “He got stuck in surgery and was due off at seven, so it shouldn’t be long now.”
Roman thanked her, and she left, pulling the door closed behind her.
“By the skin of our teeth.”
Roman’s face pinched, and I clarified, “In under the wire?”
His lips rolled in, his eyes closed, and he nodded. “Yeah.”
He came over and sat in the chair next to the bed. Elbows planted on his knees, head hung low, shoulders slumped. The image a perfect representation of how I felt.
Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I sat up and ran my hand over his head. The close-cropped hair tickled my palm. I loved the way they felt under my calloused hands and against my skin.
He reached up, took my hand in his, and pressed a kiss to the palm, rolling my fingers over it to make a fist.
A mirthless chuckle escaped. “Is that supposed to be one I can take with me? Because if so, doc, it’s a poor fucking substitute.”
His lips twitched with a ghost of a smile, but it faded quickly. “Yeah. It is, but soon…”
“We’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah. We will.”
“I’d like to see Margot…”
“Of course, Carson. I’ll keep her home from school tomorrow so she and Mama can come see you.”
Looking down at my hands, I nodded, sighing. Being away from them was going to fucking suck.
Another humorless laugh erupted from me. “Embrace the suck just took on a whole new meaning.”
He nodded silently. We sat, each of us lost in our own thoughts and feelings, not saying a word.