21. Chapter 21
21
Chapter 21
Sebastian
“What did you say to her?”
I transferred into Bronwen’s room after I saw her and Violet arrive. Violet was clearly bothered by something. She was trying her hardest not to show it on her face, but I could feel her.
She was upset, and I knew who to blame: Bronwen and her big ass mouth.
“I just told her the truth,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
My eyes widened at her response. I was ready to . . . to consume her, like Violet said.
“Not that ,” she said as she shook her head. “She told me about her and Calum, and I pretty much told her she’s delusional. I mean, I don’t understand why you haven’t already told her that.” Bronwen walked into her bathroom, and I followed. She touched up her lipstick before she added, “Speaking of, when did you find out she was fucking him, and how did you manage not to destroy the entire castle at that information? I’m proud of you.”
I ignored her added questions because even I didn’t understand how I managed to keep my composure. The smallest thing used to send me into a darkness where I would destroy anything that got into my way.
But now, I didn’t want to do anything that would scare her.
I was constantly trying to hide a part of myself because I feared that the darkest parts of me would be too bad for her to accept.
I was surprised that the things I told her about when I killed my father didn’t scare her off. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. It was nothing compared to other things I’d done.
“I am just getting to the point where I feel like she is starting to trust me. I’m not risking ruining that by telling her something she’ll figure out eventually,” I said.
“So you’re, what, just going to be patient? Yeah, I give that two days.” Bronwen pushed past me and walked back into her bedroom.
“Just stay out of it. Okay?” I turned to her. “I appreciate you trying to push her to me, but I want her to come herself.”
“Yes, my lord,” she said as every bit of emotion left her face.
“Bronwen—”
She cut me off. “No. You told me to get close to her and now you want me to back off? I like her, and I don’t want you and your ‘patience’ to cause us to lose her. If you would just tell her the truth, or better yet, take those fucking pills so she can see for herself, we wouldn’t have to do this tiptoeing around her.”
She was right, but I would never admit that to her.
“I’m not going to do that to her,” I said, trying to keep my composure.
“Why? The Sebastian I know wouldn’t have hesitated to take what he wanted. And you know once she feels the pull, she won’t care about what happened before. It’s got to be more than that.” She paused while she studied me. She was always so good at reading me. “Does your apprehension have something to do with you losing your powers?”
I walked away from her, running my hands through my hair. No one could get under my skin more than Bronwen.
“We have to be on the same page,” she said as she approached me and laid her hand on my shoulder.
I knew Bronwen well enough to know that she wouldn’t let up until I told her.
“I will not force this on her. But also, I fear that once others find out about our bond, I will not be able to protect her. Not in the way she needs to be protected. Not until we find the black opal,” I said as I turned back to her. “I have a lot of enemies. And she would have a target on her back.”
“Some honesty. Finally,” she said.
I rolled my eyes.
“We will find the object. And we will all protect her. No one would stand a chance against all of us,” she said, trying to reassure me.
“And Adar? He didn’t speak to me for days after I made him go with the two of you to the city.”
“His duty is to you. He will do as you command, even if he doesn’t want to.”
She was right. He would do whatever I said, but not without giving me the silent treatment—his favorite weapon of choice.
I didn’t know why he seemed to have a problem with Violet, but every time she was around, he closed himself off.
Another dinner planned by Bronwen. I hated having to look at Lilian and Nathara. Every time I saw them, I was reminded of my mother and what their presence took from me all those years ago.
I hadn’t been around them this often in centuries. Even though they lived in my castle, they’d kept to the area that I designated for them after I became Sovereign. I didn’t want to see them, but I also couldn’t let them leave.
The only reason I’d agreed to these dinners was to see her. Bronwen had valid points that I needed to keep up appearances in front of our Mountain Realm guests to ensure the marriage went through, but I wasn’t really worried about that.
Their fear of me was enough to ensure that the marriage went through.
But getting to be around Violet made their presence bearable. I knew she saw me looking at her. She would glance at me every so often, and her heart rate would heighten. If only I could get into her mind to know exactly what she was thinking, without her knowing.
She had walls that I would have to tear through. I could do it, but I didn’t want to hurt her. Most did not have the knowledge to build walls around their minds to keep fae like me out, but her father—or Calum—had taught her well.
“Lulenacht is in a week, Sebastian,” Bronwen said while taking a sip of her wine.
“The ball of the bachelorettes, where I get my pick from Sebastian’s rejects,” Adar said as a faint smile came across his face before he returned to his mask of anguish.
“What is that?” Violet whispered faintly to Bronwen, hoping no one could hear.
“Oh, well it’s a uh,” Bronwen said, glancing at me. It was amusing seeing her at a loss for words.
Bronwen first started this ball when I told her I could feel that I had a mate. Since I hadn’t had any luck finding her myself, she thought this would be a way to better my chances. We didn’t want anyone to know I had a mate out there because it seemed more like a weakness. Something that would cause others to search for her to use as leverage against me.
So we instead said the ball was for all eligible ladies to come and have their chance to become my wife. A ball for the ladies to take their swing at me.
I hated it. I hated every minute of it. But in the off chance that my mate would show up one year, I never stopped doing it.
After a few decades of me sitting on the throne, bored the entire time, and never giving anyone attention, fewer ladies started to come every year.
Bronwen had the idea for me to choose my “favorite” of the night to dance with, which seemed to bring in more females. I usually just picked the one that looked like she’d be the most fun to spend the night with.
And I’d never been wrong about that thus far.
Even when it became obvious that I had no intention to take a wife, the ladies kept coming with the hopes of being the favorite.
“It’s a ball held every year for ladies to come to see if I have enough interest in one of them to wed them,” I answered for Bronwen, closely watching to see Violet’s reaction.
This may have been wrong of me to do, but I wanted to see how far she could be pushed. How much that stupid pill could suppress her instincts. Something that she shouldn’t be able to control.
She glanced up at me, wide-eyed, and she almost seemed concerned about the ball before looking back down at her food.
I probably should have canceled the ball since my search was over.
But the part that got me was seeing her jaw clench as she moved a few berries around her plate with her fork. And that made me want to do it anyway. To push her as far as I could until she cracked.
If she wouldn’t stop taking those pills, I’d give her enough of a show that the bond would push through the suppressants.