22. Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ash
A sh is on a high after her morning with Raif. They kissed. They kissed, and it was wonderful! She feels like she’s floating on a cloud. A very high cloud filled with arousal and some sexual frustration.
Part of her wishes he would have taken her, stripped her of her clothes, and fucked her into the floor. But the other part of her, the sane part, is glad they took it slowly.
They didn’t really discuss what they are or what they mean to each other. Lover? Boyfriend? Friends with benefits? None of those seems exactly right, and she knows for sure she doesn’t want to do casual.
Lying in bed that night, she thinks of Raif. She knows she has to be up early for work at the fire station, but can’t help but lie there and let her thoughts wander. He’s so handsome. It took her a while to notice, but he is incredibly handsome, really.
She knows he’s a virgin and was waiting for the right person, but it’s still a surprise that no one else has snatched him up. He’s smart, oh so kind and caring, looks at her like she holds the key to everything. Which scares her a little, even James didn’t look at her as intensely as Raif does.
She loves what she’s seen of his body. When he was shirtless mowing the lawn, she didn’t pay it too much mind, but now, as she lies here recalling it, she remembers the breadth of his chest and shoulders.
The way his back muscles moved and flexed.
The sheen of sweat on his hairy chest. And the dark trail of hair that led down underneath his pants.
He’s glorious, and she wonders what he would look like naked.
He’s got thick thighs, which strain his tight jeans. An ass that’s so round and tight. Longish hair, she wants to fist and a mustache so sexy she wants to feel it run across her body.
She can feel herself getting turned on. It’s been years since she masturbated.
Since she let herself explore her body and feel that thrumming arousal.
But now she wants to. She can tell her panties are damp, and she slides her hands down her stomach, feeling her curves.
She bunches up her shirt, runs her hands over her breasts, and pinches one nipple.
It feels good, better than she expected.
Ash imagines Raif touching her. How his hands would be brands, so hot, against her skin.
She pictures him kissing down her body, stopping to lave at one nipple.
He would run his hands up and down her curves.
Kiss her freckles. Dip his tongue into her belly button.
Her hand slips lower into her sleep shorts, feeling the hair there and wondering what he would think of it.
Would he prefer her trimmed? Or shaved bare?
She rubs her clit, it’s starting to swell, and she opens her legs wider, giving herself more access.
She doesn’t know if she can do it with her fingers, but she will sure as fuck try.
She’s wet as she slides her fingers in and out of herself.
It feels good with her slender fingers, but she can guess it would feel a lot better with Raif’s thick ones.
She rubs her clit in circles, feeling it harden under her fingers.
She’s almost there, just needs some more stimulation.
She pictures Raif with his face between her legs, licking her repeatedly till she’s moaning and writhing.
When she pinches a nipple with the other hand, she comes.
It takes her breath away. It’s been years, years, since she had an orgasm, and she can feel the deep relaxation it provides. She closes her eyes and dreams.
Going back to the station after kissing Raif, she feels like everyone knows. Logically, she knows that’s not the case, but she can’t help but peer around at her co-workers. Lucas gives her a weird smile when she practically yells ‘nothing’ after he’d asked her what she’d been up to.
She goes to the storage closet to do inventory when the door opens, and Raif comes in.
He shuts it quietly behind himself and then turns to look at her.
There’s a soft smile on his face, and in an instant, she’s in his arms, clipboard falling from her hands and rattling on the floor.
She looks up at him before locking her eyes on his mouth.
Leaning up, she kisses him. It’s slow and almost chaste, but that doesn’t matter with the way she feels herself getting turned on.
He’s rubbing her back like always, and she wants to pull his uniform shirt over his head so she can get at those abs.
“Hey,” he says when he’s pulled back and is looking at her.
“Hey, yourself.”
“I missed you,” he tells her quietly with his face buried in her hair. She freezes. Because what is she doing? What are they doing? They haven’t talked about it, not really. And now he’s telling her he missed her when they just saw each other yesterday.
“Ash?”
“Yeah, I...umm...I have to go.”
“Did I do something wrong?” She can see the pain and confusion on his face, and she knows she’s fucking it up.
“No. I’m just busy is all.”
She tries to push past him out of the closet, leaving her fallen clipboard behind on the ground.
“Ash.” His voice is so soft, and it makes her heart break a little. He rests a gentle hand on her elbow, stopping her from fleeing the supply closet. “Please talk to me.”
There’s a panic wheeling up. She hasn’t had a panic attack in years.
They started after James died and lasted for a year or so before she got them under control.
Now she can feel that tightness in her throat, the fear creeping up.
It must show on her face because Raif is pulling her down onto the floor across from him.
She folds up easily, resting her butt against the cold concrete and pulling her knees to her chest. He sits in front of her, hands tentative on her shoulders.
“Breath with me, Ash, in 2, 3, 4. Hold it. There, that’s good. Now out 2, 3, 4.” He repeats it over and over till she’s calmed down. Till she can look up at him and see the concern evident on his face.
“Sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize. But, can you tell me what triggered that?”
“I...umm, we haven’t talked. About what we are, where to go from here. And it just felt like a lot, you telling me you missed me. It felt overwhelming.”
“I’m sorry, Ash. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“It’s fine. I just...I haven’t had someone miss me in a long time.”
He runs his hand down her cheek, into her hair. She leans into it. She doesn’t know why she was nervous with Raif. He’s amazing, wonderful, she has nothing to fear with him.
“Come on, I saw some hot cocoa in the pantry. Let me fix you a cup. We can talk later, when we’re not at work. For now, though, let me fix you something sweet.”
He pulls her to her feet and kisses her forehead. She pulls his face down so their lips meet. It’s closed mouth and tender, chaste. It’s exactly what she needs at that moment.