19. Lyric
Chapter 19
Lyric
“ L yric, baby,” Colt whispers, his lips trailing against my skin. I’m surrounded by his warmth, and feeling more at peace than I have in years. My eyes open slowly and I can see the light shining through the blinds.
“What time is it?” I ask, moving to sit up.
“About seven,” he says, running his hands over my arms. “You don’t have to get up right now. Sleep in, relax.”
I turn to him and notice that he’s dressed, jeans and a T-shirt with a jacket on. “Are you leaving?”
His fingers brush against my cheek as he pushes my hair back behind my shoulder. “I am. I’m tracking him today. I can’t wait anymore.”
“Colt.” I reach for him, suddenly feeling terrified about what could happen. Lukas is unhinged. When I asked for the club’s help, I knew it could be dangerous, and guilt was already eating me alive when they agreed to help me.
“I’ll be fine.” His hands frame my face, and he kisses me gently. “I’m coming home to you. Don’t worry about me. While I’m gone today, Zane will be here.”
My eyes widen and I’m lost for words. “He will?”
Colt holds my gaze, reading my soul and the worries I keep hidden there. “He wants to be here, Lyric. The guy is just as torn up about your friendship as you are. He knows what he did and he’s been paying for it since I asked him to lie to you.”
My heart squeezes in response to his words. Colt and I have made so much progress that I almost forget sometimes. Having Zane around all day isn’t something I can escape from or ignore. I owe it to my teenage self to finally have the real discussion we should have had back then. Just like with Colt, I know why Zane did what he did. He was one of my best friends too, but his loyalty was always to Colt. Without Zane, I’m not sure who would have been there for him when he needed someone.
My lips turn up in a smile. I’m hesitant still, but I can make this work. “Don’t worry about us. I’ll be fine and I promise you’ll still have your best friend in one piece when you get back.”
Colt laughs and the sound vibrates in his chest. I feel it against my own when he hugs me. He slides me his phone. “Use this today in case you want to call your parents about your phone. I’ll see you later, beautiful girl. Don’t have too much fun without me today.”
I roll my eyes, taking the phone from him. He knows damn well I have very little to do while I’m stuck here. Besides catching up with my clients and maybe doing some virtual therapy sessions on the laptop that Colt got me to replace the one Lukas broke, there isn’t much else to do. I sound like such a baby. Complaining about having an endless supply of streaming services to watch shows and movies on, a reading app downloaded, and all the food and ice cream I could want. Plus, I have Colt Street to look at daily, and he likes to supply me with orgasms. Life is good, and here I am whining because I can’t leave the house. Someday, when life goes back to normal, I’m going to want this back.
With one last kiss on my forehead Colt leaves and I decide it's not worth it to keep putting off the inevitable. I wash up and change into my usual lounge leggings and a T-shirt before heading downstairs. It's still relatively quiet, and I tiptoe toward the living room. Zane is passed out on the couch, and I vaguely remember them talking last night about changing shifts all night to monitor the security cameras. There's a pinch in my heart knowing he’s probably exhausted after being up most of the night for me.
I move quietly back to the kitchen, set on making breakfast for us when I see the newest bouquet. The vibrant blue petals of the Forget Me Nots hold my attention, pulling me closer. A smile tugs at my lips when I reach for the card and breathe in their fragrance. I open the card and fight the sting of new, happy tears.
I think these ones are pretty self-explanatory. You’re the love of my life. You always have been, baby.
Love, Colt
Butterflies swoop in my stomach and my heart aches. It feels so full of love, of promise, of hope. I want this; I want him and I’m scared shitless. I never want to be the girl who lets a man betray her that way. I changed my life for him once; I bore the brunt of that mistake on my own. I wouldn’t change how things worked out because in Colt’s absence, I found myself and Jordan. He is also an important part of my history, one that I think Colt understands.
“He never stopped loving you.” Zane’s voice is quiet, hesitant while he stands in the archway, watching me and looking at the flowers. “When we were in the desert, surrounded by all that sand, not sure if we would live, we talked about you. How you would think it was stupid being there. Or how you would hug us when we got back.”
My throat tightens with emotion and the tears fall down my cheeks.
“Those first years went by so fast, but anytime we were deployed, he would ask me to take care of his last wishes. If he died, he had two envelopes. One for AJ and one for you. Even after five, eight, ten years, he still wanted you to know if he died that he loved you and that he was sorry.”
God, it feels like my chest is caving in. I can’t breathe from the hurt and the longing I feel. I reach for Zane and he wraps his arms around me. My body is wracked with sobs, the emotions too strong for me to contain. I want to hit Colt. I also want to hug him. My heart wants to be his, even knowing he was the one to break it in the first place because he is now the one bringing it back to life.
“I’m sorry, Lyric,” Zane whispers against my hair, and I squeeze my old friend tight.
“You’re forgiven, but you have some groveling to do.” I chuckle, and the noise is watery, but he laughs with me anyway.
Zane pulls back and bops me on the nose. “You’ve always had a heart of gold, Lyric Taylor. I don’t deserve your forgiveness and neither does my best friend, but I’m going to work every day to prove I’m a better person than I was at eighteen. Colt is my buddy first, but I knew how much pain you were in and that wasn’t fair to you.”
“You both hurt me,” I agree with him. We’re not ignoring that and I’m glad it’s now in the open. “But I do forgive you for making stupid mistakes when you were kids. Just like I did. I see you now, Zane, and that man seems like a nice guy. Maybe when I get to know him, trust him, maybe we’ll be really good friends again.”
His smile is wide and contagious until I’m smiling the same as him. “Got nothing but time, Taylor.”
Damn it, I really hope we do. My smile falters and I hide it by drying my cheeks off and swiping away the tears on my lashes. “I was just about to make breakfast. Are you hungry?”
Zane’s hand goes to his stomach right as it growls. “I’m a growing boy, Ly. I’m always hungry.”
“Growing, my ass,” I scoff at him while I make myself busy in the kitchen. Maybe if I don’t think about what Colt is doing all day, then maybe I can ignore it. I’ll just stay busy.
This kitchen is stocked and I find it easy to lose myself in making some bacon, eggs and toast. Having Zane to chat with also helps. While we eat, he keeps me entertained with stories from our time apart. Some of them are hilarious and some of them pull at my heartstrings. Colt had already shared with me what happened to their friend Tric, but hearing it from Zane’s perspective and his feelings has me squeezing his arm. When it's time to clean up, I tell Zane about college, the girls he missed out on meeting, and about Jordan.
“Did you love him?” he asks with his head tilted in question.
I meet his eyes and I nod my head yes. “I did. He pushed me to find myself and then later we were lovers. He broke up with me when he got sick, but we stayed friends. Sometimes people are in our lives at a certain time for a certain reason, right? I think at that time in my life I needed Jordan, but he was too good of a soul to be left on this earth. Just like your friend. And without Jordan and his never-ending love for me, I wouldn’t have had the means to help Stella and her baby, and also me, escape. He told me to go home. To go back to Tennessee. And now part of me wonders if he meant here all along.”
Zane’s eyes mist over. “Shit, Taylor. That's a beautiful thought. He sounds like he was a great guy, and I’m glad he was there for you when we weren’t. Truly.”
I nod, and my heart feels lighter. Every time I talk about the last ten years or what happened in our lives during that time, I feel better. Like I missed out on less.
Zane leaves the living room to go back to the office soon after and I’m left with my thoughts, knowing what I need to do. Pulling Colt’s phone from my pocket, I dial the number I’ve had memorized since eighth grade.
“Hello? Colt?” My momma’s voice answers the phone, and I am shocked when she says his name.
“You’ve had his number in your phone for the past ten years?” I ask, and I hear her gasp.
“Lyric? What is going on? Why aren’t you calling me on your own phone?”
My mind swirls. “Momma, I asked you first.”
She huffs and I hear her as she’s shuffling through the house. I can just picture her looking to make sure my daddy isn’t listening in. “He was your first boyfriend, Lyric. I had his number then in case I couldn’t find you, and I don’t know, just sentimental reasons, I guess. Although it's good I did or I wouldn’t have answered a number I don’t know. Now it's your turn.”
My free hand fists and I take a deep breath in and exhale. “He found me, Momma.”
She sucks in air sharply and her voice hitches with tears. “Are you okay?”
“I am,” I tell her, nodding my head even though she can’t see me. “Remember that motorcycle club I helped years back? Well, I asked them for help with my security, and well, Colt showed up.”
“Oh my word.” My momma exhales and then giggles. “How did that go?”
“About as well as you can imagine. I’ve been staying with him. My house was, well, it isn’t safe there right now. We’re trying to figure out how to keep me safe,” I explain to her, skipping over all the details my momma does not need to know.
“And how is Colt?”
I pause and my eyes narrow at the dreamy way she says his name. “He’s changed.”
“I bet he has. It's been a long time since you two broke up. Distance, time, maturity, it can change a person. He always was a good kid.”
“He was,” I agree with her. That information isn’t new. She was team Colt from the first time he asked me on a date. She also held me together when I cried for hours when he broke my heart. “He still is. I think…I think he found what he’s been looking for. A place where he belongs.”
“I can believe that, sweetie.” She hums in agreement. “We know how he grew up and despite that, I truly believe he thought he was doing the best thing back then. It wasn’t by any means, and it was stupid.”
I huff into the phone. “It was very stupid. I just, it's been nice reconnecting with him now, as adults.”
“Mhmm.” I can practically hear her smile through the phone. “And?”
“He makes a really good spicy chicken sandwich.”
“Oh, Lyric,” she laughs over the phone and I end up laughing with her. “You know I can’t tell you what to do here? Neither can your daddy nor Pose for that matter, but I do want to say this to you. What if you two were meant to part ways at that time so you could find each other again now? I know you loved him, Lyric. It was easy to see Colt was your whole world. He loved you too, but that boy had scars and monsters that he needed to escape from.”
“I know. And I’ve forgiven him for that. I just wanted you to know that I’m with Colt and Zane actually. I’m safe.”
“I think it's lovely you’re all together. I’ll let your dad and your brother and sister know. You might want to call them tomorrow though or you know your daddy will be driving over there trying to knock the door down,” she tells me, and I can’t help but grin.
“I will. Give my love to them?”
“Of course.” Momma makes a kiss noise into the phone. “I love you, Lyric. You're strong, baby girl, and you don’t need a man to make you whole. But the right man helps you shoulder the pain and the burden. He’s the man willing to burn the world down for you.”
“Thanks, Momma,” I reply before we hang up and I set Colt’s phone on the coffee table.
Peace settles over me for the first time in a long time. I don’t feel alone. I’m not worried about Lukas because I know Colt and the Rebels won’t let him get me. And when all of this is over, I’ll have the man who still holds my heart. I just have to tell him.