41. Axel
Axel
“ I ’ll give you two options,” I tell her.
My trainwreck is pouting with her arms crossed next to me while we stand in the parking lot between the truck and my bike.
We’re already ten minutes late for dinner with David…
for no goddamn reason. “We can take the truck, but you have to drive. If I drive, we’re taking the bike.
The power is all in your hands. Pick your poison. ”
“You realize giving me an ultimatum is a super-dick move, right? You know how hard this is for me. I literally hate it.”
“Yeah, I know, baby. But think about how far you’ve come.
You’ve driven the truck at least a dozen times, if not more by now.
I know that fear is going to take a while to really go away, but the only real way to get there is to do it,” I say with a smirk.
She really has come far. Sometimes, when we’re in the truck together and she thinks I’m not looking, I catch the faintest hint of a smile.
She won’t admit it, but she likes driving it.
“And you know there’s not such thing as a super-dick move, right?
Well… unless you’re talking about my actual dick, then you’re right. It is pretty super.”
“Oh my fucking god, you have become so incorrigible lately. What the fuck is wrong with you?” she huffs while also stomping her foot on the ground like a petulant child.
I raise my hands in surrender. “Just trying to keep things a little lighter than usual.” I lean down to press a gentle kiss on her forehead before whispering, “Now choose.”
“I’m sorry for being so bitchy. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, lately. I just want this dinner to go well. Forgive me?”
“I forgive you. Now stop stalling and fucking choose before I pick for you and you won’t like what’s behind door number three.” Spoiler–I have no fucking clue what option three is, but I’ll make something up if I have to.
“Ugh, fine,” she whines. “I really don’t think I can drive right now. If we take the bike, do you promise to not drive like a maniac?”
I roll my eyes as I turn to face away from her and grab the helmets, securing hers first and then mine.
Then I squat down with my back to her. “I’m insulted you think I’d be so reckless with your safety, baby.
Hop on.” She does as she’s told and I don’t miss the slight tremble as she holds on to me.
Carefully, I kick my leg over and seat us both onto the cushion, placing her feet where I want them and moving her arms to circle my waist as I bring the engine to life.
“I’ve got you. Now hold on tight. If you get anxious and need to stop, tap my leg three times and I’ll pull over. ”
“Careful. You keep that shit up and I’m bound to think there’s a softie underneath that hard shell of yours.” I can’t see her face, but I know she’s grinning.
“You’re lucky you’re cute,” I scoff. “Now shut up and be the good little backpack I know you can be.”
By the time we make it to her dad’s place, she’s clinging to me so hard, her knuckles are white and she’s tightly digging into my flesh with her nails.
I kick down the stand and reverse the process of getting on the bike to get us both back on solid ground. “Are you okay, little trainwreck?”
She juts a hip out and raises a brow in mock irritation. “Oh, so we’re back to that, huh?”
“Just trying to keep you on your toes,” I laugh.
“I don’t suppose we can go home and you just fuck me stupid?”
“No, I don’t suppose we can, considering your father is standing at the door watching us already. It would be kind of hard to explain why we showed up and then left without even saying hello.”
I saw him open the door out of the corner of my eye a few moments ago. She doesn’t give him enough credit. I have a feeling he sees and knows more than he lets on. I don’t really want to do this, but I know he’s important to her so I’ll play along.
“Fuck. Fine, let’s get this over with so we can do that other thing sooner rather than later.” She hops up onto her tiptoes and leans in to whisper, “Consider this my order for that supersized combo meal of a cock of yours.”
“Jesus Christ,” I groan, my face finding my palm as I roll my eyes as far back in my head as they can go. “Let’s go you fucking weirdo.”
“It’s about time you two came inside,” David chuckles as he holds the door open for us.
“Sorry, Dad. I just had to tell Axel something real quick.” She leans in to give him a quick peck on the cheek. He looks considerably less gray than he did the last time I saw him. “You look so good. You’re getting some color back in your face and have you lost a few pounds?”
He shuffles in behind us and closes the door before wandering to the kitchen. “Yes, honey. I’ve started a chair pilates program. I think I scared myself a little having to have that stent put in. I’d prefer not to experience that again if I can help it.”
She follows him and lands a light pat on his shoulder. “I would also like to not relive that night… like ever, if possible. What’s for dinner?”
“Cock O Van,” he says confidently.
Wrinley and I both regard him with curiosity. “What?” we ask in unison.
“Oh, you heard me. It’s French. I found it on the YouTube when I was looking for pilates videos. Julia Something-or-other is her name. She’s a hoot to watch cook, although I admit it’s hard to keep up sometimes, so don’t be surprised if I get it a little wrong.”
“Do you need help?”
“Yeah, honey. If you want to string the beans, that would be helpful. Axel, could you cover those baking potatoes in tin foil so they can go in the oven, please?”
“Yes, sir. I can do that.”
We spend the next hour preparing dinner together–all three of us. Every time I tried to escape, he pulled me back in, giving me another menial task. It’s all highly uncomfortable and I’m regretting not taking Wrinley up on her offer to go home and ride my dick.
Speaking of home. It was nice hearing her use that word.
Fuck, I need to focus. I’ve been tasked with setting the table and I have no idea where spoons and forks go.
“It doesn’t matter what goes where, son,” David mutters, looking over my shoulder while also scaring the shit out of me. “I can tell you’re trying to figure it out. Just put the same pieces with each plate and we’ll be fine. I would imagine we all know which one to use and when.”
I think my armpits are sweating now.
I don’t know how to do this.
“Relax,” he says reassuringly. “My home is your home. No pressure. No expectations. No ulterior motives.”
I turn to look for Wrinley and don’t see her.
“She took the garbage out and went to grab my mail for me. We have a few minutes if you want to sit.”
Shit.
My heart rate steadily escalates until I feel it pounding heavy in my chest. “Okay.” It’s the only word my brain can come up with as my skin starts to itch with the need to get the fuck out of here.
But I don’t run.
Instead, I sit and so does he.
Here we fucking go.
His hand lands gently on mine as it rests on the dining room table. “Son, I know you didn’t have the best childhood. I may not seem like it, but I pay attention to what’s happening around me. An absent father and a mother who may have well been. I’m sorry you had to grow up like that.”
“I managed okay.” What else am I supposed to say?
“Yeah.” He nods like he understands. “I’ve been saying that every day since I lost my wife.”
Fucking hell.
We sit in silence for a few brief moments and I steal a quick glance at the door, willing my girl to come back.
“The thing of it is… I know my daughter made it happen. She sacrificed herself to make sure I was okay. And I was too selfish to stop her because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her too. I was just happy to keep her as close as I possibly could.”
I shuffle in my seat uncomfortably, unsure of where this is going.
“She never got to fully grieve the loss of her mother. I can’t imagine the trauma that still lives inside of her after going through what she did.
I lost my wife. Wrinley lost her mother and her best friend.
Those two were inseparable. Two peas in a pod.
If Diane did it, Wrinley was determined to follow in her footsteps.
And when she did… she was happy. So goddamn happy.
That girl held her mother’s dead body in her arms that day. And then she picked me up off the floor and set her own trauma aside.”
Nodding, I lean back in the high back chair and tell him, “I know. I was there the day of the funeral and saw her comforting you.”
“Then you know all that she’s suffered as a result of her loss.”
“I do,” I admit, a lump forming in my throat.
“She’s been driving a truck to and from the office. I assume that is your doing?”
“Yes. It was my truck. I had it built for her with a full roll cage and all the bells and whistles so she’d feel as comfortable as possible, whether she was riding or driving in it.”
“I see,” he says with a curt nod. “How long ago did you have it built for her?”
I pause, considering how I should answer this, before I say, “Long enough.”
His brow knits, no doubt contemplating what it all means. “You know she used to dance, right?”
“I know. My sister went to some of her classes with her from time to time.”
“Dance was probably the biggest thing she and her mom shared. Think you can help her find her love for that again?”
“I have every intention of making that happen, David.”
“Good, good. If there’s anything I can do to help with that, you let me know.
A part of my beautiful Wrinley Anne died with her mother that day.
She’s been wandering through life, ever since, just getting by.
I haven’t seen her this happy since she was fourteen.
It’s clear you’re the reason for that. That alone tells me the kind of man you are and that’s the kind of man I want for my little girl.
That makes you family, son. I don’t care how you grew up.
You look forward and not back and you do it loving my Wrinley. The future is all that matters now.”
“I–” Fuck . “Thank you. That means a lot.”
He stands to move to the sink and suddenly there’s a sensation in my chest I don’t recognize. It’s heavy and sharp at the same time. A lump forms in my throat as I process his words, chewing on them like if I don’t, I won’t be able to digest them.
My face feels hot just as a burning takes hold behind my eyes.
I squeeze them shut tightly, trying to stop whatever’s about to happen but it’s no use and one lone tear escapes, rolling down my face until it falls and lands on the back of my hand that’s resting on my thigh.
I tilt my head to stare at it for a moment.
These feelings are so foreign I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with them. I’ve never known a father, but this man that’s met me twice has called me son more than once in the same conversation.
I wipe my cheek with the back of my hand just as the door opens and Wrinley comes bouncing in. “What did I miss?”