Chapter 16
DAWSON
Ileaned against the connecting door, my heart still pumping hard and fast, my stomach roiling.
Knowing that Iain was right next to me, so fucking close, and yet, with someone else…
No.
I wouldn’t allow my emotions to get the better of me. I never let personal feelings get in the way of my job. I could do this.
Strange thing was, I didn’t hear anything next door except the sound of running water and then total silence. That was odd. I knew for a fact Iain was very vocal when he was with a partner.
And fuck, I had to stop that line of thinking. Pushing away from the door, I made my way over to my bed.
Instead of ruminating on what Iain was doing—or who he was doing—I picked up my phone and video-called my mom.
“Hi Dawson, how’s France?”
“Beautiful, but cold. How’s things back home?”
“Great. Jaxon and I are just finishing up dinner.”
She positioned her phone so I could see my son, who was scarfing down what looked like a bowl of pasta. He had tomato sauce over half his face, and it made me smile. Fuck, just seeing my family made the ache near my heart a little less painful.
“Dad!” Jaxon dropped his fork and reached for the phone.
“Hey, bud, I miss you. How was your day?”
“I got a hundred on my math test!”
“Wow, that’s incredible!”
“And then Nana took me for my piano lesson. I told Allison that I met Iain Holloway.”
Jeez, he was never going to let that go.
“Well, I talked to him; I didn’t meet him in person. Not yet,” Jaxon continued. “And Allison said I’m ready to start learning guitar. When you come home, can we book lessons?”
I was proud as hell of my son, but his keen interest in music had me a bit worried.
Then, I realized I was getting ahead of myself.
Just because Jaxon wanted to play several instruments didn’t mean he wanted to be a future rockstar…
did it? He was only eight, soon to be nine.
He probably wanted to be a number of things, a musician least of all.
“I’ll talk to her when I get back, okay?”
“Yes!” Jaxon exclaimed. “Did you see Iain today?”
“I saw all the band members at rehearsal.”
“Can you send me a video from one of their concerts?”
“I’ll be working, but I tell you what: when I come home, I’ll find some clips to share with you.”
Ones that PR could edit for PG purposes.
“Okay. I miss you lots, Dad.”
“I miss you more, bud.”
“Nana, can I be excused now?” Jaxon asked as he turned away from the phone.
“Of course. Go wash that sauce off your face and then find a show for us to watch, all right?” my mom replied in the background.
“Bye, Jaxon. I love you.” I blew him kisses, and he handed the phone back to my mom.
“Hey, Mom.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m just tired. It’s two-thirty in the morning here.”
My mom raised one eyebrow at me, and I sighed. I could never fool her about anything.
“It’s personal.”
“Is it Iain?” she asked.
I stared at her, unable to speak.
“I hear the way you talk about him. And I know you. You like him.”
“The man drives me nuts.”
“Exactly. You love a challenge.”
“Mom—”
“But there’s the fact that you work for him. And he’s a rockstar with quite the reputation. Not that I read the gossip sites that much, but Iain certainly does get a lot of attention.”
Ugh, talking about this with my mom was giving me a headache. “Can we please change the subject?”
“I saw the way he looked at you on that video call. It’s not just you.”
“I’m hanging up now.”
“Dawson, what have I always taught you?”
I sighed. “To fight for the people I love.”
“And?”
“Mom, I never said anything about…that.”
“You also know better than most how short life is. You can’t be an island forever.”
Knock, knock.
I was never so thankful for an interruption in my life.
“Someone’s at the door, I gotta go.”
“Love you.”
“You too.”
I tapped end and set my phone on the nightstand. There was another knock. But it wasn’t coming from the exit door; it was the connecting one.
What did Iain want? Did he run out of condoms and lube?
I got up and walked over, mentally bracing myself, and wrenched open the door.
“What?”
Iain stood there, still dressed in those sexy leather pants and his linen shirt, half unbuttoned. And in his bare feet. He always walked around like that at home. And sometimes the studio. Couldn’t stand socks or footwear in general, which, for some strange reason, I found cute as fuck.
Listen to yourself.
Iain Holloway was gorgeous any time of the day, but I liked him like this, disheveled and relaxed. Then I noted the half-empty liquor bottle in his hand and remembered the guys he was dancing with at the club. They were probably in his bed right this moment.
I shook my head at my stupid thoughts. “What do you want, Iain? It’s almost three in the morning.”
“I can’t sleep,” he muttered.
“Go snuggle up to your fuck friends,” I snapped and slammed the door in his face.
I turned on my heel, but Iain banged on the door again. But this time, harder and louder.
“Keep it down; we’re in a hotel with other people around,” I hissed as I threw open the door again.
“For your information, I didn’t c-come back here with anyone,” Iain declared, waving the bottle in the air. “Well, I did but I told him to leave.”
“What?”
“But I f-fucking should have let him stay. But of course, I c-couldn’t. And it’s all your fault!”
“What are you talking about, and what’s the point of this conversation?”
“You! I’m talking about y-you. Always you. Messing with my goddamn head,” he bellowed and pushed his way past me into my room. “And I don’t… I don’t know what to do.”
“Just come on in for starters.”
Iain ignored my sarcasm and began to pace, unsteady on his feet.
“I d-don’t know what I’m doing,” he confessed.
“Iain—”
“I’m so fucking frustrated, I could—”
“Stop,” I demanded.
Iain did as I requested but ran an agitated hand through his blond waves.
“What’s going on?” I asked calmly, even though I felt anything but.
“This,” he pointed between us. “This is what’s going on. D-don’t tell me I’m the only one here.”
Given how fast my heart was beating and how quickly my dick was filling, no, he wasn’t the only one.
“Just go to bed. You’ve been drinking. We’ll talk in the morning, okay?”
I was too worked up tonight, and I needed him gone. He was standing so close, and then I realized he was looking at me with hunger in his eyes and then at my bed like he was imagining the two of us…Fuck, no.
My ironclad control was so close to breaking.
“I need to t-talk now. I can’t sleep.”
“Iain,” I warned.
“Now,” he repeated and stalked up to me, pushing his finger into my chest.
“Fucking brat,” I whispered.
Before I realized what I was doing, I spun Iain around and pinned him against the nearest wall, my larger frame enveloping his from head to toe. His body trembled beneath mine, and he dropped the bottle on the carpeted floor.
Then I cursed myself for letting him get to me. I started to pull away, but he reached back and gripped my hip, holding me in place.
“Please,” he moaned and shoved his ass back, rubbing it over my denim-covered cock.
“Fuck, Iain.”
“Yes, f-fuck me.”
Grabbing a handful of his silky hair, I pushed it aside and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “It doesn’t work like that. Not with me.”
Iain moaned and swiveled his hips, torturing my throbbing dick.
“Why didn’t you bring those guys back to the hotel?” I gasped, sliding one hand down to cup Iain’s hip, stilling him.
He needed to stop moving right fucking now. This wasn’t the time or place for this to happen. Hell, it shouldn’t be happening at all.
Yeah, and that’s why you pinned him to the wall, right? And why you want to reach down and stroke that sexy cock of his?
Don’t think about his perfect ass or his pretty cock…
But I gave in to temptation and looked down at the bulge in his pants. I’d seen his cock so many times, but I never imagined I’d finally get the chance to touch and taste it myself. Just the thought of jerking him or sucking him off had my balls drawing up tight.
“I c-couldn’t… I can’t…” he moaned. “They didn’t turn me on.”
I swear my heart stuttered, and my hand tightened on his hip.
“And it’s n-not just tonight,” Iain continued, his breathing choppy. “It’s been like that for a while. No one. I don’t want anyone. Well, only you.”
Me? I was the one he wanted?
Fucking hell.
A rush of exhilaration swept over me.
Then I remembered how much he’d been drinking.
Calling on every ounce of control I had, I pulled back, far away from the heat of his long, lithe body.
“Daws.”
He groaned my name like a plea, and I… I could never deny Iain.
“Lie down.”
“What?”
My body was shaking as hard as his, but I was not going to fuck this up. He needed to sleep off his drink, and we needed to talk in the clear light of day.
“Lie down on the bed. Go to sleep. I’ll be right here.” I pointed to the nearby couch.
“Lie with me. I don’t want to b-be alone.”
“Iain.”
“Please,” he whispered.
Fuck, this man. Why couldn’t I say no?
I nodded and walked away to close the connecting door and ensure everything was locked up tight.
After I secured the room, I checked my phone on the nightstand and turned off the lamp.
The curtains in my room blocked out most of the glittering city lights, but not all of them, casting the far end of the suite in a pale glow.
Behind me, I heard Iain getting undressed. As much as I longed to turn around and watch him, I didn’t.
Once I heard the rustle of sheets, I pivoted and reached for the duvet. I left my jeans and tank top on and slowly slid under the covers.
As soon as my body hit the mattress, Iain rolled over and snuggled into me like he was made to fit in my arms. Like we’d been doing this for ages. Instinctively, I wrapped one arm around him and pulled him tighter.
He was still trembling, and without thinking, I ran a soothing hand down his bare back. Fuck, his smooth skin felt better than good. Everything about him—his heady smell, his possessive grip on me, his sudden vulnerability—it all hit me like a punch to the gut.
Neither of us said a word, and slowly, eventually, I felt his body calm, his limbs warm and heavy against mine.
“Did we w-wake you when we came in?” he asked, his voice hoarse with fatigue and drink.
“No, I was wide awake.”
“Because of me?”
I didn’t see any point in lying.
“Yes.”
“I heard you t-talking to someone. Heard it through the door.”
“I was on the phone with Jaxon.”
I felt his smile against my shoulder and shivered.
“How is he?”
“He got a hundred percent on his math test today. And, of course, now he’s bugging me for guitar lessons.”
Iain chuckled, and his warm breath kissed my skin. “Smart kid.”
“Smarter than me, that’s for sure.”
Iain tensed, and I realized I was still rubbing his back. So much for self-control.
“Why does this feel so fucking good?” he whispered.
I was so overwhelmed by the surge of intense emotions that I couldn’t answer him.
Was Iain really here in my arms? It was unexpected, unreal. Would I wake up tomorrow to realize I’d dreamt it all?
“Go to sleep, Iain.”
He gave a long sigh, and a few minutes later, I heard a soft snore.
I wondered if I would hear him talk in his sleep again.
That thought brought a smile to my face, and surprisingly, a short while later, I drifted off and joined him.