Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
The flight home was very early in the morning, but Joe had generously booked them into Business Class and – with the combination of the early start and the comfortable seat – Robert fell asleep almost immediately after take-off.
Ellen was expecting Charlotte to slide in ear buds and lose herself on Spotify or Netflix for the journey, much as Grace or Abigail would’ve done. But she smiled at Ellen. ‘How are you feeling?’
Guilt. Terror. Shame. There were so many different emotions that it was difficult to select one. ‘Well, like I said yesterday, I’m mortified that I accused you of having an affair with my husband.’
She’d spent a lot of the evening before apologising to Charlotte, and to Lucy, for her behaviour. They’d been more generous with their forgiveness than she deserved.
‘Please, you really need to stop thinking about that. I can understand how weird we must’ve seemed to you. But what about Robert’s condition? Do you want to talk about that?’
It was so kind of her and, actually, she did want to talk about it. Maybe she could ask Charlotte the questions she was afraid to ask Robert. ‘It’s been a real shock. And I’m scared about what is going to happen. Be honest with me. How likely is it that I’m going to lose my husband?’
Clearly, Charlotte had been expecting this question. ‘It’s difficult to say. But, from his last tests, he would likely only have one to two years without the operation.’
One to two years. That was unthinkable. ‘I’m going to persuade him to have the operation if I can. I know there’s risks, but if it goes well, he should have a normal life after that, shouldn’t he?’
Against Charlotte’s advice, she’d been researching the condition online late into last night. In the end, the medical jargon had swum in front of her eyes and she’d fallen asleep with her reading glasses on and her mobile in her hand.
‘Yes. If all goes well with his surgery, his prognosis should be very good.’
It was the ‘if all goes well’ that terrified her. Before going to sleep last night, Robert had repeated his desire to get all his affairs in order before ‘going under the knife’, as he’d so elegantly put it. For her, this seemed like tempting fate.
Also, they had more than themselves to consider in all of this. ‘I’m dreading telling the girls.’
‘I can imagine. I know how I’d feel if it was my dad.’
Looking at her now, Ellen could see the likeness to Ian. No wonder she’d felt Charlotte looked familiar.
She was also astute. ‘I know you want to ask me about it.’
‘What?’ Ellen tried to look innocent.
‘My dad not being my biological father. I know that Mum told you.’
Of course she had questions, but it would be rude to ask. ‘It’s none of my business. I can see how close you are to your dad.’
‘I am. We always have been. Weirdly, my personality is much more like his than my mum’s. Of course, I have no idea if I’m like my biological father.’
She had said that Ellen could ask questions so she ventured one. ‘You’ve never seen him at all?’
‘Not that I can remember. Mum says that he was around for the first year after I was born. That he was actually quite taken with me when I was a baby. Then the second year he was in and out of our lives. I think there was some infidelity, which she hasn’t gone into.
And then he was gone. I do have a few pictures that she’s given me, but I don’t have any actual memories of my own. ’
‘And you’ve never been curious about meeting him?’
Charlotte considered the question. ‘There was a time at medical college when we were looking at genes and gene therapy when I did wonder. Mum has never stood in my way, nor Dad. They both said they’d help me if I wanted to look for him.
Not that it would be difficult to track him down, I’m sure.
But there’s something…I don’t know. I get the feeling that he did something really bad to Mum.
Worse than cheating. I think he really hurt her.
And I don’t think I want to go down that path.
I wouldn’t want to meet someone like that. ’
Charlotte clearly had a strong moral compass. She wished Grace had one of those. ‘I can understand how you feel.’
Flicking the ring pull on her mini can of diet coke, Charlotte looked too young to be so wise. ‘Actually, other than Mum, and Robert, you’re the only person I’ve met who has known my biological father.’
‘Has your mum not told you anything about him?’
‘I know he came from a wealthy family.’
She was right about that. Of everyone in that privileged group, Ian always had the most cash.
He’d boast about the fact that, because his parents were divorced and he lived with his mother, his father’s vast fortune hadn’t been taken into account and he’d received a full maintenance grant – back in the day when those were a thing.
While she was counting the pennies of her own grant to make sure she had enough for groceries before she went out for the night, he spent his entire term’s money from the government on two Versace shirts.
She wasn’t about to tell Charlotte any of this. Or about how arrogant he was, how gleeful in parading his wealth. ‘Yes. I believe his family were well off. He went to a top school, I think.’
That was something else she wouldn’t tell her.
How he’d boasted about the fact he’d flunked his exams – I was too busy partying – but his father had paid for him to attend a ‘crammer’ on his year out.
A college that basically spoon-fed facts into your short term-memory just before retaking the tests.
‘That’s why I ended up in this crap hole,’ he used to say.
His rich friends would laugh and nod their heads in understanding.
Robert would frown and say nothing. Lucy would tell him he was a prick.
Ellen would boil in her skin at his dismissiveness of the place she’d worked her backside off to attend.
Charlotte must know about his school because she nodded. ‘What was he like? I mean, I think he must’ve been a bad person, but then I don’t understand why my mum was with him.’
She had to tread carefully now. Having no idea what kind of history Lucy had woven for her daughter, she didn’t want to be unravelling any stitches. ‘Well, he could be a lot of fun. He was adventurous. Clever. Witty. I can imagine that was quite attractive.’
She didn’t add that he and Lucy had been on and off more times than a light switch.
She hadn’t known why Lucy bothered with him.
Coming from a wealthy family and a good school herself, she surely hadn’t been dazzled by his easy life and spending habits.
He was good looking, yes. But that wasn’t enough to put up with the way he treated her sometimes.
‘Do I look like him, do you think?’
With her head tilted to the side, eyebrow raised, she could’ve been his double.
But from what she’d seen of Charlotte so far – kind, attentive, caring – the resemblance was only skin deep.
He didn’t deserve any credit for this beautiful clever girl.
‘You have his colouring. But your features are all your mum.’
Charlotte seemed to like that answer. ‘Are your girls like you or Robert?’
‘I’ll show you.’ Ellen never needed any persuading to show off her girls. Scrolling through her phone, she knew immediately which photo she wanted to show Charlotte. A picture of the four of them at dinner a few months ago.
Charlotte leaned in to look. ‘Wow. They’re both beautiful. I think your older daughter – Grace, is it? – looks like you. And the younger one is like Robert.’
‘Abigail? Yes, she’s his mini-me. She’s the one at university with your sister.’
Charlotte rolled her eyes. ‘Good luck to her. Emily is…well, she’s a one-off. What does Grace do?’
‘She works in the City. She’s renting a house in London now, so we don’t see as much of her as we’d like. I’m planning on calling her as soon as we get home.’
Robert was still adamant that he didn’t want her to tell the girls anything yet and, while she agreed that it wasn’t a conversation to be had over the phone, she wanted to get them both home as soon as they got back.
He’d been against that, too. ‘Abigail can’t come home; she’s only been at university for a few days. This is an important time for her.’
Of course he was right. These first few days she’d be making the friendships that, even if they weren’t the lifelong ones yet, would be the people to get her through those tricky first few weeks of being at university.
However, Grace would definitely have to be told straight away. But Ellen had called her twice last night and three times that morning before and after they’d arrived at Malaga airport. Grace wasn’t picking up. ‘I think she’s still angry with me for what I said about Max.’
‘What did you say?’
She’d given him a brief summary of their conversation. ‘He’s still married, Robert. I’m sure of it.’
‘Less than twenty-four hours ago you thought I was having an affair with someone the same age as our daughter. Do you think you might have it wrong?’
He’d been teasing her, but this wasn’t the same thing. ‘Aren’t you worried that she might be having a relationship with a married man? That she might break up a family?’
‘Right now I’m more concerned about our family. Grace isn’t silly. We have to trust that she knows what she’s doing.’
Though his faith in their daughter was admirable, she worried that it was misplaced. There was a side to Grace that was…well, she wasn’t as sensible as Charlotte, who was regarding her with a maturity and empathy in excess of her youth.
‘I can imagine how you feel. It will be really scary for them. But they’ll need to be told because they’ll have to be tested.’
This was new information. ‘What do you mean? Tested for the same thing that Robert has?’
Charlotte screwed up her nose as she nodded. ‘I’m afraid so. Robert’s condition can be hereditary.’
Ellen’s heart flipped over in fear. Hereditary? The girls would have to be tested? Up until that moment, she hadn’t known it was possible to be more terrified than she already was. But this was even worse.