Chapter 35
THIRTY-FIVE
Jesse
Cade staggered out of his bedroom, his hair mused, his t-shirt on backwards and inside out. I sat at the kitchen table, pulling on my boots. “Morning, buddy.”
He flopped down in the seat beside me, immediately slouching and letting his eyes close.
“You okay?”
He swallowed hard. “My head hurts.”
I frowned, noting his skin was a little red, too. I reached over and laid my hand against his forehead. It felt like a furnace. “Oh no.” I shook my head with a long sigh. “You’ve got a fever.” He didn’t open his eyes or acknowledge that he heard me in any way.
I sat at the kitchen table for a few long moments, trying to sort out what I should do.
I could stay home with him today, but that would require a total shift in Tag’s schedule.
This morning, Penny, our veterinarian, was scheduled to come for a wellness visit.
She came on an emergency basis, but otherwise, we had to schedule her.
And being a vet in a remote area meant her time was incredibly limited.
My job during her visit would be rounding up the horses and bringing the ones she needed from the pasture while she talked through health concerns with Tag.
Harlan couldn’t do it because he had a trail ride scheduled with the cabin guests at 10 a.m.
Realistically, I’d be busy fetching animals until she finished around one o’clock.
One o’clock was hours from now.
I raked my fingers through my hair. This was a textbook single parent issue: the need to work versus the need to parent. I wasn’t sure what to do. “Cade.”
His eyes fluttered open.
“Penny is coming today.”
He nodded—already knew what that meant.
“I have to help until she’s done. Why don’t I grab you some breakfast at the big house and bring it back here? You can stay in, watch TV, and I’ll get the walkies so we can stay in touch.”
He struggled to sit up straighter. “I don’t want to stay by myself.”
I drew a quiet, sharp breath. “Cade.”
“I’m fine,” he mumbled.
“You’re not fine. You’ve got a fever.”
“I can still tag along.”
I shook my head, hating this conflict. I wished I could call in and bum around with him.
The flash of worry in his green eyes drained the fight out of me. There were hills I would die on. But my son being alone while he was sick wasn’t one of them. I sighed. “Alright. I’ll grab a blanket, and you can sit in the truck or lay in the extra stall if need be. Sound good?”
He nodded, the anxiety flickering away.
Hollie was already cleaning up breakfast when we clamoured up to the porch.
Today, her big curls were squished into a braid and little wisps had already slipped free around her face.
Her triceps twitched as she scrubbed a stain off the top of the picnic table.
She looked up, lightly gasping. “There you are! I was wondering if you two…wait…” She narrowed her eyes at Cade. “Is he sick?”
“Yep.”
Her shoulders fell slack. “Oh no. Nora is too.” Dropping her rag, she swiped her hands over her shorts, drawing my attention to her shapely thighs, and strode over to us.
She placed her hand on Cade’s forehead then lightly touched his cheeks.
“Poor thing’s burning up. Want some apple juice, sweetie? ”
He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I’ll be right back.” We sat at the bench, and I rubbed Cade’s back. Two minutes later she returned with buttered toast and apple juice for Cade, and a cup of coffee with a sausage biscuit for me.
“Thank you, Hollie. Sorry for being late.”
She sat opposite us. “Don’t worry about that. Nora woke up after midnight with a fever. There must be something going around.”
I took a deep sip of my coffee, relishing in the way it burned my throat a little. “Must be.”
She thought out loud. “I’ll have to come back to the kitchen around 8:15, but Cade’s welcome to stay with me.”
Relief barrelled through my chest. “That would be great.” I looked to Cade. “Wanna stay with Miss Hollie?”
He nodded, silently taking a sip of apple juice.
Leaning on someone felt good. Easy to get used to. “Thank you.”
“Of course! My only concern is Bea getting sick. I’ll be keeping the girls in the bedroom today because Bea cannot afford to have a fever.” She tapped her fingers on the table top. “I could make Cade a pallet on the floor though.”
An idea dawned on me. “Why don’t you bring the girls to my cabin?”
“That’s not a bad idea.”
“That way, we’re keeping the sick people out of Bea’s space.” Hollie was right, Bea was sick enough as it was. I didn’t want to imagine what a fever might do to her body. “They can just watch some movies.”
“That’s a good plan.” She looked to Cade. “I’ve got about ten more minutes of prep to do and then I can take you back to the cabin. I’ll try to hurry though, okay?”
Hollie picked up her rag and quickly finished the table then flew into the kitchen. I downed my cup of coffee and crammed my biscuit, needing to get on with the day’s chores. “I gotta go, buddy. Will you be alright?”
He nodded, his cheek squished against the table top.
I leaned to kiss him on the forehead then made my way into the kitchen. Hollie, standing at the counter mixing something in a bowl, turned when she heard the door open. “I’m almost done,” she called over her shoulder.
I knew I shouldn’t be checking her out from behind, but her figure squeezed into those shorts was nothing short of captivating. Damn, she was so pretty. The idea of her not being in the kitchen come Monday made me feel like I had a fever, too. My chest cracked open at the thought of it.
Man, I wanted her to stay.
Unable to stop myself, I silently approached Hollie, magnetized by everything about her.
Stopping just shy of her moving elbow, I slipped my hands around her waist and hugged her.
A loud, relieved exhale escaped my lungs as I buried my nose in her hair.
Usually, I could deny myself this, but today I didn’t want to. Missing her already hurt like hell.
She set her spoon down and moved her hands down my forearms until our fingers entwined. She gave a soft, nervous chuckle. “Good morning.” Her voice was breathy.
“Good morning,” I murmured as I squeezed her, denying my urge to kiss her neck.
What had gotten into me? By this point, I was a professional at coping with loneliness.
But, apparently, I sucked at coping with desire.
I wouldn’t kiss her—I told myself I wouldn’t confuse her like that. But was hugging her equally confusing?
Probably. But I didn’t want to think about that. I couldn’t think about that. It was 5:45 in the blessed morning, and there was only one thing on my mind: towing her to the tack room.
Hollie lifted her hands and twisted, spinning until we were face to face. Her arms looped around my neck and mine banded around her waist. She sighed, like she’d been waiting to breathe until I could hold her again. I buried my face in her neck, toeing the line for the sake of it.
When my hat bumped loose, she reached up and pulled it off my head, putting it on the counter behind her. Slowly her fingers scraped into my hair, and I crumbled against her. My hand accidentally found the hem of her shirt and my brain combusted as I hushed my need to explore.
Pull away. Pull away.
I tried to talk myself into it, but her hands pressed the back of my head. And her skin smelled so inviting, so sweet. Something about Hollie felt like home. And I ached for that home feeling.
This friends bullshit could rot in hades. I wasn’t her friend. Even though I was afraid to admit the truth to myself, it was there—blinking like neon, just waiting for me to acknowledge it.
I wasn’t Hollie’s friend because I loved her.
Shit. I didn’t know what to do with that.
I still love you, Laurel. I promise I do.
Despite the conflict in my chest, I pressed a slow kiss to the crook of her neck as one single finger wound through her hem.
My name tumbled off of her lips. “Jesse.”
At first, I thought she meant to chide me, but she tipped her head to the side.
I stared in wonder at the expanse of her beautiful neck.
Life had taught me a lot of things and forced me to be stronger than I ever cared to be.
But that—an open invitation—was something I’d never be strong enough to resist. My mouth found her skin again.
Then again. My trail of kisses wound from the tip of her shoulder to her ear.
“Jesse,” Her voice rasped with longing. “What—are you doing?”
What am I doing?
I whispered, “I don’t want you to go.”
There, I said it.
I didn’t wake up this morning with the intention to bear my heart and soul, but holding it in was like sandbagging a tsunami—an idiotic waste of energy.
She flattened her hand against my shoulder, gently moving away. I pulled back, hot and flustered, as she admitted, “I talked to Tag. We need to discuss the cabin thing.”
He told her? Hope resurrected in my heart. And it must’ve translated in my expression because she shook her head. “Don’t get your hopes up, Jesse. I already told you I can’t stay.”
“Could you come back?”
“I don’t know.” The answer brought a crease of pain to her brow. “If Garrett wants a relationship with his daughters, I’m not going to take that away from them, Jesse. Surely you understand.”
My jaw clenched as my gaze cut away. I knew I was only thinking about myself, but how could I let her leave knowing Garrett would hurt her again? I wanted better for her, for the girls. Was having a relationship with him really in their best interest?
She whispered, “Listen, I need to take care of Cade, but we can talk later this evening.”
I nodded. Right. I had a sick kid out there, and I needed to stop making her future about me. I stepped away, putting safe distance between us as I scrubbed a hand down my face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s fine.”