Chapter 47
FORTY-SEVEN
Hollie
The day after Christmas
Everything was as I dreamed it would be.
The scent of hair products and hot curling wands permeated my new home.
Soft Kenny G saxophone tunes filled the air and a platter of leftover Christmas hors d’oeuvres and fancy cheeses with rosemary crackers sat in the middle of the dining room table.
We’d spent the last ninety minutes laughing uncontrollably, sipping champagne, and having a grand old time.
Estelle lifted a Kleenex to her eyes. “I don’t know if I’m going to stop crying enough to do my own make-up.” Her nose was pink as she sniffled. “This is the most beautiful week of my entire life.”
Jackie, already primped and ready to go, rolled her eyes. “Good grief, Stell, get a grip.”
“But they are so perfect together.”
“You’re acting like this is your own wedding.”
Bea, in the “hair-chair” as we called it, giggled into her fingers.
“Leave her alone, Jackie, she can’t help it.
” She reached over to grab my hand. “I’ve been crying a lot, too.
” Bea fell apart when I told her I wouldn’t be leaving after Christmas.
She said having a sister at the ranch while she walked into motherhood would be the greatest gift she’d ever received.
Jackie blurted, “You have a reason. You’re like the most pregnant I’ve ever seen a person. But I swear Estelle glitched in a state of premenstrual syndrome.”
Estelle quipped. “I just have a big heart.”
“Pretty soon the only sister I’ll have left is this big cry baby.”
“Hey! You’re going to hurt my feelings.”
I scolded Jackie. “That’s not very nice.”
Jackie shrugged but hurt flared in her eyes. Bea must’ve seen it too, because she squeezed my hand. “You know, Meadowbrook could always use a cowgirl, if you want to escape data entry.”
She huffed. “I’m not that desperate. There’s no men here, and I need a man.”
“You would like a man,” Estelle corrected.
Jackie’s eyes disappeared into her skull but, for once, she didn’t have a comeback.
“I know plenty of eligible cowboys on some nearby ranches.” Bea said, swiping a hand over her ginormous belly. “I could hook you up.”
“I’ll pass. Thanks.” She scrunched her nose. “I go after white collar now, preferably corporate.”
“Yikes.” I grimaced. “Good luck.”
Estelle butt in. “I’ll take one of your cowboys, Bea.”
I added, “How about Cooper?”
Bea’s eyes went wide. “No. I could never get behind that.”
Jackie shuddered, looking downright disgusted by the suggestion. “I cannot stand that guy.”
I shook my head, placing my hand over my heart. “I have a special place in my heart for Cooper. He’s so sweet, he just never lets anyone see it.”
Bea shook her head. “He’s got some growing up to do.”
The conversation moved on from Cooper, but my mind lingered on him.
Over the past few months, he’d become a friend.
He quickly devoured Where the Crawdads Sing, despite the romantic subplot.
He discovered he enjoyed thrillers and was currently making his way through Freida McFadden’s backlist. The public library in Austin worked with the rehabilitation center to provide their residents with books.
And Cooper turned out to be a surprisingly voracious reader.
Often, he wrote letters to tell me what he was reading and ask for recommendations.
I was thankful for our friendship and rooting for his happily-ever-after one day.
Sarah wandered over, nibbling on a leftover red velvet cupcake Mom made for my birthday.
Jackie barked. “If I had to put a bet on the next person moving to Texas, I’d put my money on Peter. He’s been wallowing in self-pity ever since Bea moved away.”
Sarah, looking gorgeous in a wine-red long-sleeved dress, hummed. “He really has. He misses you so much, Bea.”
That made Bea look a little sad. “You guys could always move. There’s a cute house for sale right in Comfort.”
Sarah’s ironed-in curls bounced when she laughed. “Don’t tell Peter. He’ll call a realtor.”
Mom chimed in from across the room. “No! No more of my children are allowed to move to Texas.” She wagged her finger at Bea. “I’m putting my foot down. Two is plenty. Stop recruiting!”
Jackie looked over her shoulder at Mom. “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll never abandon you.”
Pretty soon, it was time for me to get in the hair-chair and Estelle zoomed in on my Pinterest inspiration picture then got to work.
The fun chatter with my sisters gave way to relentless butterflies as I realized I’d be married in a couple short hours and whisked away to my honeymoon—which would only be a three night stay in San Antonio, but I wouldn’t have been more excited to go to a luxury resort.
All I wanted was Jesse.
Because the wedding was so last minute, not all of Jesse’s family could make it.
But I had the pleasure of meeting a few of his siblings, his parents, Daniel and Meredith Holmes, and Laurel’s parents, Jim and Shelley McCarthey.
Shelley had big tears in her eyes when I met her that morning but she hugged me tight and whispered, “I’ve been hoping he would find you. ”
Shelley clearly missed her daughter, but she loved Jesse like a son and she adored Cade. Her joy was a gift to Jesse. I witnessed a burden roll off his shoulders after Shelley and I embraced. Her inner light and tear-filled eyes blessed the ranch—and we would’ve missed her had she not come.
Shopping for a dress when I had eleven days to prepare for my wedding was a chaotic journey that led my sisters and me to a tiny secondhand boutique shop where I found a dress seemingly crafted for me.
It had sheer long sleeves, clusters of pearly beads, a sweetheart neckline, and layers of tulle that made the dress just puffy enough for a wedding.
Estelle fussed with the line of teeny buttons down my back. “Poor Jesse is going to have a time with these.” My sisters squealed at the suggestion, instantly teasing me. My face flushed hot and butterflies erupted in my stomach as I laughed along with them, imagining that moment.
Finally, it was time. Our ceremony took place on the front steps of the big house, where we’d strung Christmas lights and placed a couple Christmas trees.
Family stood along the steps and gathered around us on the porch.
There was no real line-up or bridesmaids or official wedding colors.
There wasn’t a minister or any live music.
Just a bluetooth speaker and Harlan, actually, who volunteered to get ordained online because he’d always wanted to marry someone.
My dad walked me up the porch steps while tears brimmed in our eyes. With a kiss on my cheek, he put my hands in Jesse’s and gave me away.
The theme of the day was presence and togetherness—and, when you boiled it down, those things were very simple and easy to achieve.
With his bunched rosy cheeks, Harlan smiled. “By the power vested in me by the good ol’ state of Texas, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Alright, Jesse, kiss her.”
I giggled as Jesse dipped me into a kiss and my family cheered.
I came up with tears in my eyes and a fire burning in my soul.
Our last minute wedding devolved into chaos.
Somewhere between the cake and the dancing, Bea’s water broke.
Tag, white-faced and wide-eyed, rushed Bea to the hospital with Mom.
Because we knew this could potentially happen, Estelle and Jackie planned to stay behind with the kids so Jesse and I could go on our honeymoon.
Many conversations were had with Cade about this upcoming trip, and he didn’t bat an eye when Jesse and I left.
We were so proud of him. And also thankful to Estelle whose tender personality made it easy for Cade to get comfortable.
We arrived at a hotel in San Antonio past 9 p.m., which was about two hours later than we’d planned. Exhausted but smiling, Jesse quietly hung the do not disturb tag on the outside of our door handle and pulled our little suitcase into the room.
I dropped my purse on the dresser and my hands wrung together as I fought the immediate urge to pick my nails.
Tension skittered over my nerve endings as I walked around the room, giving myself a tour, but not really seeing anything but the king sized bed in the middle of the room.
I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that intimacy with Jesse would be different than intimacy with Garrett, but my past experience dumped fuel onto my anxious energy.
Garrett always accused me of not wanting sex, but that wasn’t true.
I did want it, I just never felt safe enough to let my guard down.
And enjoying sex when you’re worried you’ll misstep is basically impossible.
He would pout and get irritated with me, so I would pretend, which just made the whole thing worse.
“So, wife, what do you think of our accommodations?”
A chuckle escaped my lips as I turned to see Jesse surveying the room, giving everything an approving nod.
His white shirt pulled at every angle of his arms and his tie hung loose around his neck.
He picked up a slip of paper on the dresser and turned it toward me with a twinkle in his eye.
“This place has room service. Which is great because we won’t be leaving for a while. ”
I laughed, arching a brow. “Is that so?”
His eyes bounced across the menu. “Why would we when we can have breakfast naked in bed?”
I laughed again as desire and anxiety went to war low in my torso. I looked away, not sure what my face was doing. Jesse went over to the window and tugged the curtains closed.