Chapter 47 #2
Needing something to do, I pulled my toiletries bag out of the suitcase and went into the bathroom to freshen up a little.
I wrestled with the folds of my dress to use the restroom, brushed my teeth, and made sure I smelled good.
The entire time, my insides trembled. Was the dress too much?
Maybe I should’ve taken it off before I left the ranch.
Part of me wished I could just slip into pajamas, but of course, my quote-unquote pajamas were packed when I was feeling a lot more confident.
I shook my head, knowing I was overthinking but unsure how to stop.
While I delayed, Jesse used the outside sink to freshen up—brushing his teeth, washing his hands. Eventually, the sounds outside the bathroom door fell quiet. I needed to hurry up. Summoning courage, I exited, still wearing my wedding dress and hoping I didn’t look as timid as I felt.
Jesse sat on the edge of the mattress, his boots lined against the wall and his tie hanging over the bed post. The top few buttons of his shirt were open, his hair swiped backward over his head.
It needed a trim, but I wouldn’t let him cut it before the wedding.
I loved when his hair was a touch too long.
He glanced up at me and smiled. But his smile faltered as he took in my expression. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. Just a little nervous.”
“About what?”
“What comes next.” I grimaced.
He moved to stand directly in front of me, rubbing his palms over my arms. “I was kidding, by the way. Of course I’m going to take you out to eat. We’ll go to the riverwalk and do some fun things—”
“Jesse, I knew you were joking.”
He lifted a hand to touch my cheek. “If you’re tired from the wedding, we can just go to sleep.”
I shook my head as a laugh bubbled up from my belly. In one single sentence, he’d chased away my trepidations. He wouldn’t rush me or require me to give more than I wanted to give. I couldn’t stop laughing—he was so dear to me I could burst.
“What?” He chuckled too.
My words escaped on bouts of giggles. “You think you—could sleep in the same bed with me—and not have sex?”
He didn’t hesitate, completely serious. “If that’s what you needed.”
“Jesse.”
“Although we’d have to make a pillow wall between us—”
I had to press my lips together not to laugh more. “Jesse.”
“Or I could sleep on the floor—”
“Jesse.” I laid a finger over his lips. “All I said is that I’m nervous. Not that I don’t want to.”
He captured my hand, pressing a kiss to my fingers.
“I’m already feeling so much better. Just ease me into it, okay?”
He frowned like that request was crazy. “I wouldn’t do it any other way, Hollie.”
Any lingering thread of tension in my body melted away. Of course he wouldn’t. Jesse wouldn’t be anything like Garrett. He had proven it a thousand times and he would prove it again in our marriage bed.
He stepped away from me and went around the room, shutting off the lamps and lights until the only light in the room glowed through the bathroom door.
The dimmer lighting took a little of the pressure off, and when he drew near to me, I clasped my arms around his neck, instinctively reaching up to kiss his lips.
My husband loved me so much.
He would literally sleep on the floor if I asked him.
My eyes fluttered closed as Jesse’s lips swept over mine and his hands settled low on my waist. Based on the passion of our kisses before now, I thought he would rush.
But no. Jesse took his time kissing me so gently that I was the one who got restless.
When I pressed my tongue against his lips, urging our kiss deeper, he opened for me.
And his low groan sent fire through my veins, heating my skin.
My hands turned hungrier, skating over the ridges of his body and touching him everywhere.
Suddenly, we weren’t thinking through steps anymore.
Our entire relationship had been a quiet walk into full vulnerability. After baring my heart and my soul, I could trust him with this. This would be a moment of payoff—one moment among many.
My hands found the front of his shirt, tugging the fabric up until I could slip my hands beneath the hem. Jesse’s exhale shuddered as I touched his skin and dragged my fingers down to work on his belt.
He ran the back of his hand over the bodice of my dress, his breath on my face ragged and hollow. “Need help?”
I nodded, incapable of speaking when his eyes were so dark with desire.
His gaze roamed my body as his hands moved to my shoulders, turning me so he could work on my buttons.
A sharp breath filled my lungs as my gaze took in the far wall where the bathroom light had cast our shadows.
I blinked a few times, stunned by the image of his hands on my back and his slow lean forward to drop a kiss on my neck.
Maybe my obsession with my shadow as a dancer was really about moments like this—my deepest feelings on full display. A chance to feel and watch myself feel. And not be afraid of it all.
Tears welled in my eyes as Jesse knelt behind me, trailing kisses down the length of my spine as buttons opened, revealing skin.
He murmured, “You’re so…” Kiss. “So.” Kiss. “Beautiful.” Kiss.
Before I knew it, my wedding gown had pooled around my ankles like a fresh blanket of snow.
His eyes were dark and his exhale rasped when I turned back to face him, a blush staining my cheeks even as I smiled.
He huffed in disbelief as his eyes raked over every new-to-him part of me and I couldn’t help but laugh again.
This was so special. Exactly how it should be—an overflow of deep trust. A worthwhile prize after peeling back every layer.
When he kissed me, I melted with relief and we spiraled together.
His lips devoured me like he might never get another chance, and I matched his ardor—clinging to him as he backed me to the bed and lifted me onto the mattress.
His hands, hungry to explore, slipped to every place on my body as I yielded to him.
I’d spent my whole life aching for this.
My mother had said, “Sometimes receiving love is the real healing we need.”
And looking into the adoring eyes of my new husband, I knew she spoke the truth. The only thing that could separate us from the darkness was light—tender love poured over hearts that need it most.
I threw my soul into our passion, completely losing myself in the joy of our union. My emotions crescendoed—climbing, climbing—until a small cry lifted from my lips.
Jesse pushed back on his forearms, finding my eyes with a furrowed brow and silently checking in.
Certain I would never make him see how his love had set me free, I simply said the only words I could think of. “I love you, Jesse. I love you so much.”
His response was a kiss that made me want to dance.